How to observe a thought behind a emotion?

[MuriloPais]

I know this dont have a how to guideline but for me is a quite difficult to do hahaha. Sometimes comes a sad emotion, i start to observe, in first thing come a idea and energy like "this world is boring af" in second when i not supress that emotion, come a Desire to cry(it's not too strong), the only thing i feel this hour is to lay on bed and stay there, but i dont see any thoughts. 

Ps: when the cry desire came, something was on my mind "its all shit, not is good on life. But my life is awesome, the way i see life is cool, my life purpose is fantastic. Wtf is this emotion bro? Hahahaha

[Forestluv]

Perhaps society conditions us to believe that sadness means something is wrong. Sometimes when a sad feeling arises, the mind makes up a story about wrongness. . . Last night I was was walking in a rainy forest. A feeling of sadness arose. Rather than making up a thought story about what’s wrong, I just sat with the sadness. I observed and experienced sadness. It was so pure and beautiful. . . . Later I told a friend about the sadness and she reacted “Oh no! That’s too bad. What’s wrong? Let’s make it better”. . . Yet there was nothing “wrong” with the sadness and it wasn’t something that I wanted to change. 

[Javfly33]

7 minutes ago, Serotoninluv said:

Perhaps society conditions us to believe that sadness means something is wrong. Sometimes when a sad feeling arises, the mind makes up a story about wrongness. . . Last night I was was walking in a rainy forest. A feeling of sadness arose. Rather than making up a thought story about what’s wrong, I just sat with the sadness. I observed and experienced sadness. It was so pure and beautiful. . . . Later I told a friend about the sadness and she reacted “Oh no! That’s too bad. What’s wrong? Let’s make it better”. . . Yet there was nothing “wrong” with the sadness and it wasn’t something that I wanted to change. 

That's a very interesting story.

The funny thing is, the word sad itself has negative connotations.

I wonder if after you did that (you accepted and sat with the sadness) it was still sadness. Or did it convert into something else?

I can't imagine how a "negative* emotion can still be itself, after you totally accept it and sit with it, like one would do with joy or excitement. So simple, yet almost everybody tries to deny certain emotions. It doesn't feel good to surrender to them. How do you do it?

Edited May 19, 2020 by Javfly33

[Forestluv]

@Javfly33 I’m ok sitting with sadness. Sometimes I’ll be in nature and sadness arises. Or I will be watching a sad movie or listening to a sad song. I can also sit comfortably with others that are sad. 

For me, joy and sadness are two sides of the same coin. I cannot have one without the other. And there are deep contemplations and insights within sadness.

I’ve noticed most people have a low tolerance for sadness and desire to move away from it, to feel ‘better’. Yet I’m cool experiencing with it. . . For me, anxiety and anger are uncomfortable. When anxiety and anger arises (in me or others), I feel a desire to move away from it. Either physically moving away from it or trying to resolve things and make it ‘better’ such that the anxiety or anger goes away. 

[James123]

3 hours ago, Serotoninluv said:

For me, joy and sadness are two sides of the same coin. I cannot have one without the other.

When you accepted both of them does love rise within you? That what happens to me. Because, i started to realize that when you flow with emotions, love lies underneath of them. 

[Lyubov]

When this happens for me I usually like to journal a bit and figure out what's going on. It can be a little tricky and confusing though so I don't really try to stress about figuring this out and adding more questions on questions on questions. Also discerning what I'm feeling vs the thoughts helps. There is the physical feeling and then the thoughts so sometimes just feeling the feelings and setting the stories aside can be a good and counterintuitive way to finding answers about the emotions.

[Elisabeth]

 

 

 

1

9 hours ago, Serotoninluv said:

I just sat with the sadness. I observed and experienced sadness. It was so pure and beautiful.

Apparently Japanese cultural takes this stance that sadness (possibly sometimes even suffering) is beautiful. 

[Nahm]

@MuriloPais

You are the creator of your reality. Continue listening to your intuition, as there indeed is much more to this place that it would appear. It is likely that you don’t know this, but you can discover this by ‘listening’ acutely to how you feel, and what you think. Listen to your intuition as it is telling you this. Instead of settling for feeling sad, or assuming that is a natural feeling for you, or that it is a ‘feature of life, or reality’, notice that some thoughts feel good to you, and some thoughts do not feel good to you. Don’t ignore the feeling, explore & understand the feeling. It is guidance for your life, and it is coming just as it appears, from deeper within you. It is of your true and ‘higher’ infinite self. 

Thoughts which feel good to you are in alignment with what you are wanting. Thoughts which do not feel good to you are not in alignment with what you are wanting. Get more clear about what you are wanting, by writing it on a dreamboard, and seeing it each day. Change it whenever you like. Fantasize, imagine, visualize, the visceral unfolding, of what you are wanting. Like a child excited about imaging a coming trip to Disneyland - feel great about knowing what you want, knowing it is unfolding, and imagining the experience of it as if it were here right now, happening already. Ride the rides, taste the cotton candy, hear the music - in your mind. Begin to notice that you don’t need any of it to happen - for you to feel good. You are the good feeling. You are the magic, the ‘secret ingredient’, which brings magic to life. You can feel great just in the expressing of your genuine desires, and in the imagining of experiencing what you are wanting.  

Having your vision on your board connects you more deeply with goodness in feeling, in your body, and in your mind, via the sincere expression of your unique desires - creating. You will more & more come to know this goodness, this wonderful feeling, as you. Having what you want on your dreamboard will make it incredibly easier to recognize any resistant thoughts which arise. It will be very clear to you that the nature of some thoughts which don’t feel good, is self doubt. Recognizing those thoughts more easily, you can inspect them more easily, and you will realize more & more the effortlessness of letting go of thoughts which do not feel good to you, and the choosing of thoughts which do feel good to you. You will experience the momentum of choosing thoughts which feel good to you, and are aligned with what you are wanting - what you’ve written on your dreamboard. As you experience this momentum, and hone the choosing of thoughts, use the emotional scale to more & more understand the guidance of the source of you, via emotional intelligence. 

You’ll notice there are some things you want to change about your choices. A cleaner diet is typically one of the first things one desires to address, as it is key to mood and quality of thoughts, as well as quality of the clarity of mind in which they arise. If you’re ever at a loss for what to eat which is aligned with the true nature of well being of the body, try this. 

You will also begin to notice with more detail & nuance, that self love is the most important aspect of this life experience. You will notice that it does not jive, does not feel good, when you put more focus on thoughts about a potential future which don’t feel good, than you are putting on this moment you are presently experiencing. Noticing this will help you ‘return’ to this present moment, by letting any thoughts which do not resonate, as well as any overthinking, go. You will more deeply realize the falsity & futility of comparing the actuality of this experience now, to a thought about a potential future moment. You will begin to see that you are not going to things & experiences as it would initially seem, but are attracting all of it to you. Knowing what you are wanting, seeing it daily on your board, and seeing it unfolding as the reality you are experiencing, makes it much easier to spot, and let go of, overthinking - to, ‘get out of your own way’. You will come to know the truth, as you feel the true magic of this place.  

You do not need to know how things will go, to feel good. When you think you do need to know how things will go with the changes in your life that you are anticipating, to feel good...notice that way of thinking, doesn’t feel good. You don’t need to know how anything will go. You just need to put how you feel, first. Then, things will go in accordance, because reality is you, and reality is unconditional. You, choose the conditions, and hold conditions, by the thoughts you choose, and how you choose to focus. Being acutely in tune with understanding how you feel, and the relationship between feeling & thought, is paramount. 

Be incredibly honest with yourself, acknowledging that you can feel your best - without knowing how anything will go. It is the journey, the dreaming-up of things, the wanting of things, and seeing unconditional reality becoming what you are wanting, which is the greatest thrill. This is what you had n mind in coming here. Not complacency, not boredom...but being the hero of your own life, and living it on the edge of creation. Not just the experience of the ‘stuff’ and experiences, and not just the amazement that what you focus on with nonresistance does come - but knowing you can feel amazing without any of it presently in your life, knowing it is coming by feeling - without seeing any evidence of it. 

Here are some ideas & basic practices which can be helpful in letting go of thoughts which do not resonate with you, as well as uncovering deeper relaxation & happiness as you go. 

[Forestluv]

14 hours ago, James123 said:

When you accepted both of them does love rise within you? That what happens to me. Because, i started to realize that when you flow with emotions, love lies underneath of them. 

Yes, we could say underlying both joy and sadness is love. I like your imagery of flow. 
 

8 hours ago, Elisabeth said:

Apparently Japanese cultural takes this stance that sadness (possibly sometimes even suffering) is beautiful. 

I didn’t know that. Perhaps that’s one reason I feel drawn to visit Japan. 

Years ago, I saw an elderly Japanese woman in a park drawing Japanese symbols for people. She was using traditional medium - the type of ink/charcoal/paper. My friend who lived in Japan for years told me this was authentic. I asked her to draw me “joy”. As she did, there was a sense of sadness about it and I didn’t know if she was drawing the symbol for sad. Yet it was so beautiful and I felt both a joy and sadness. . . . I remember placing the paper in some type folder/book to protect it during my travels. I forgot about it and months later was reminded. I searched hours and hours for it and couldn’t find it. I felt so sad about impermanence and the loss of joy. Yet it was beautiful. I know longer have the physical paper/symbol that I desire, yet there is the immaterial essence that appears. . . . Years later, as the memories now reappear, there is both a sense of joy and sadness. 

[James123]

33 minutes ago, Serotoninluv said:

15 hours ago, James123 said:

 

Yes, we could say underlying both joy and sadness is love. I like your imagery of flow. 

Thanks. Because, i have tried all the ways that i know of “how to control emotions “. And the best way for me to feel them without judging good or bad and flow with them. I feel like saved %80 energy. I have no idea why the energy that i have saved includes calmness and acceptance. Which ends up with feeling the love inevitably. Do you feel that way? 

Edited May 20, 2020 by James123

[Forestluv]

13 minutes ago, James123 said:

Thanks. Because, i have tried all the ways that i know of “how to control emotions “. And the best way for me to feel them without judging good or bad and flow with them. I feel like saved %80 energy. I have no idea why the energy that i have saved includes calmness and acceptance. Which ends up with feeling the love inevitably. Do you feel that way? 

I have three young nieces. Occasionally my sister asks me to look over them for a while. . . . When I try to control them, it is exhausting. When I go with the flow with them, it is much less tiring. And yes, there is a sense of love (even when it’s hectic). . . . . I observe a similar dynamic in my own mind and body. 

I also try to get in touch with the underlying substrate from which feelings arise - which, as you say, we can describe as love. Others have described an underlying essence ‘beneath’ the feelings as intuition, wisdom and grace.

[James123]

48 minutes ago, Serotoninluv said:

I have three young nieces. Occasionally my sister asks me to look over them for a while. . . . When I try to control them, it is exhausting. When I go with the flow with them, it is much less tiring. And yes, there is a sense of love (even when it’s hectic). . . . . I observe a similar dynamic in my own mind and body. 

I also try to get in touch with the underlying substrate from which feelings arise - which, as you say, we can describe as love. Others have described an underlying essence ‘beneath’ the feelings as intuition, wisdom and grace.

Definitely. I feel that too, I completely overwhelmed by intuition, wisdom and grace feeling like looking from the top of my head with love. As much as i let go, love (grace, wisdom and intuition) gets bigger. We need to let go everything.  We will be pure love  i still get control by thoughts %30 of the day. When anger controls me “ I am angry” i go down to human ego right away. Thats how i realized. What do you think? 

[Elisabeth]

 

 

 

 

4 hours ago, Serotoninluv said:

I felt so sad about impermanence and the loss of joy. Yet it was beautiful. I know longer have the physical paper/symbol that I desire, yet there is the immaterial essence that appears. . . . Years later, as the memories now reappear, there is both a sense of joy and sadness. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wabi-sabi 

 

[James123]

11 hours ago, Nahm said:

@MuriloPais

You are the creator of your reality. Continue listening to your intuition, as there indeed is much more to this place that it would appear. It is likely that you don’t know this, but you can discover this by ‘listening’ acutely to how you feel, and what you think. Listen to your intuition as it is telling you this. Instead of settling for feeling sad, or assuming that is a natural feeling for you, or that it is a ‘feature of life, or reality’, notice that some thoughts feel good to you, and some thoughts do not feel good to you. Don’t ignore the feeling, explore & understand the feeling. It is guidance for your life, and it is coming just as it appears, from deeper within you. It is of your true and ‘higher’ infinite self. 

Thoughts which feel good to you are in alignment with what you are wanting. Thoughts which do not feel good to you are not in alignment with what you are wanting. Get more clear about what you are wanting, by writing it on a dreamboard, and seeing it each day. Change it whenever you like. Fantasize, imagine, visualize, the visceral unfolding, of what you are wanting. Like a child excited about imaging a coming trip to Disneyland - feel great about knowing what you want, knowing it is unfolding, and imagining the experience of it as if it were here right now, happening already. Ride the rides, taste the cotton candy, hear the music - in your mind. Begin to notice that you don’t need any of it to happen - for you to feel good. You are the good feeling. You are the magic, the ‘secret ingredient’, which brings magic to life. You can feel great just in the expressing of your genuine desires, and in the imagining of experiencing what you are wanting.  

Having your vision on your board connects you more deeply with goodness in feeling, in your body, and in your mind, via the sincere expression of your unique desires - creating. You will more & more come to know this goodness, this wonderful feeling, as you. Having what you want on your dreamboard will make it incredibly easier to recognize any resistant thoughts which arise. It will be very clear to you that the nature of some thoughts which don’t feel good, is self doubt. Recognizing those thoughts more easily, you can inspect them more easily, and you will realize more & more the effortlessness of letting go of thoughts which do not feel good to you, and the choosing of thoughts which do feel good to you. You will experience the momentum of choosing thoughts which feel good to you, and are aligned with what you are wanting - what you’ve written on your dreamboard. As you experience this momentum, and hone the choosing of thoughts, use the emotional scale to more & more understand the guidance of the source of you, via emotional intelligence. 

You’ll notice there are some things you want to change about your choices. A cleaner diet is typically one of the first things one desires to address, as it is key to mood and quality of thoughts, as well as quality of the clarity of mind in which they arise. If you’re ever at a loss for what to eat which is aligned with the true nature of well being of the body, try this. 

You will also begin to notice with more detail & nuance, that self love is the most important aspect of this life experience. You will notice that it does not jive, does not feel good, when you put more focus on thoughts about a potential future which don’t feel good, than you are putting on this moment you are presently experiencing. Noticing this will help you ‘return’ to this present moment, by letting any thoughts which do not resonate, as well as any overthinking, go. You will more deeply realize the falsity & futility of comparing the actuality of this experience now, to a thought about a potential future moment. You will begin to see that you are not going to things & experiences as it would initially seem, but are attracting all of it to you. Knowing what you are wanting, seeing it daily on your board, and seeing it unfolding as the reality you are experiencing, makes it much easier to spot, and let go of, overthinking - to, ‘get out of your own way’. You will come to know the truth, as you feel the true magic of this place.  

You do not need to know how things will go, to feel good. When you think you do need to know how things will go with the changes in your life that you are anticipating, to feel good...notice that way of thinking, doesn’t feel good. You don’t need to know how anything will go. You just need to put how you feel, first. Then, things will go in accordance, because reality is you, and reality is unconditional. You, choose the conditions, and hold conditions, by the thoughts you choose, and how you choose to focus. Being acutely in tune with understanding how you feel, and the relationship between feeling & thought, is paramount. 

Be incredibly honest with yourself, acknowledging that you can feel your best - without knowing how anything will go. It is the journey, the dreaming-up of things, the wanting of things, and seeing unconditional reality becoming what you are wanting, which is the greatest thrill. This is what you had n mind in coming here. Not complacency, not boredom...but being the hero of your own life, and living it on the edge of creation. Not just the experience of the ‘stuff’ and experiences, and not just the amazement that what you focus on with nonresistance does come - but knowing you can feel amazing without any of it presently in your life, knowing it is coming by feeling - without seeing any evidence of it. 

Here are some ideas & basic practices which can be helpful in letting go of thoughts which do not resonate with you, as well as uncovering deeper relaxation & happiness as you go. 

Life advice  ❤️ 

[Forestluv]

@Elisabeth Omg, wasabi is my kryptonite. . . 

 

@James123

8 hours ago, James123 said:

We need to let go everything.  We will be pure love  i still get control by thoughts %30 of the day. When anger controls me “ I am angry” i go down to human ego right away. Thats how i realized. What do you think? 

Awareness, letting go and going with the flow is great. Yet I’ve also found it beneficial to de-condition and purify out that toxicity. I’m not into going with the flow with toxic water, I’d much rather flow with pure mountain spring water. 

[James123]

8 minutes ago, Serotoninluv said:

@James123

Awareness, letting go and going with the flow is great. Yet I’ve also found it beneficial to de-condition and purify out that toxicity. I’m not into going with the flow with toxic water, I’d much rather flow with pure mountain spring water. 

What do you mean by de-condition and purify out that toxicity? How will you do that?

[Forestluv]

4 minutes ago, James123 said:

What do you mean by de-condition and purify out that toxicity? How will you do that?

Observation and awareness when it arises. No judgement, intellectualizing, attachment or identification. Observe and become aware as they arise. . . Relax the mind and re-orient toward a purer relationship/experience with Now and begin to create. . . There are lots of practices - whatever resonates with you. What resonates with me now is: yoga, time in nature and watching to a new daily series by Deepak Chopra on creating Now. . . . Yet each person needs to experiment and find their thing. 

[James123]

47 minutes ago, Serotoninluv said:

bservation and awareness when it arises. No judgement, intellectualizing, attachment or identification. Observe and become aware as they arise. . . Relax the mind and re-orient toward a purer relationship/experience with Now and begin to create. . . There are lots of practices - whatever resonates with you. What resonates with me now is: yoga, time in nature and watching to a new daily series by Deepak Chopra on creating Now. . . . Yet each person needs to experiment and find their thing. 

Do you mean to reach non duality? Because during the day if i focus a lot, i feel nothingness so easy or non duality a lot. When i walk no meaning or body is just moving. It hits me within mini second. Specially, i have been meditating like 4 hours a day for these quarantine days. Lol. 2 weeks ago I completely left my body, I was completely out of matrix (so called life) and become all the matrix, complete infinite and nothingness. Life slipped underneath of my foot, i become my all room. After that I couldn’t remember anyting (my life, universe, everything was gone). And it wasnt like a kind of regular non dual experience, I didn’t feel the nothingness within my body, I was completely infinite and nothing. My body didn’t move like that 10 minutes . I think. Or i dont know what body did. Everything was meaningless, It was just all me infinite (includes everything) and nothing. If I didn’t come back to duality, i think body will die. I dont know this so quick sometimes i am afraid to meditate more. Lol  not a joke, last one f me up. Not remembering anything so sudden and coming back to bodyis scary. 

Edited May 21, 2020 by James123

[Heaven]

@Nahm @Serotoninluv Had a thought but then read your comments again and it became irrelevant? Thanks for your comments?
 

@Serotoninluv Can I have the source for the daily series that u watch please?

Edited May 21, 2020 by Heaven

[Forestluv]

51 minutes ago, Heaven said:

 

@Serotoninluv Can I have the source for the daily series that u watch please?

Everyday Immortality. . .  Delightfully Turquoise. 

I recommend watching on FB (no ads).