Choosing sexual orientation at will (story)

[Apuk]

Where do i start. Yeah, i am your average male heterosexual 25 year old and have liked women with absolute certainty and have always been repulsed by guys on that aspect and have a normal life and everything as you would expect. I like doing mind experiments and like to challenge my mind a lot and learn about it and why i feel a thing and so on. On last november i figured the very root cause of sexual attraction. There is a place where default things are set up for the brain, in fact it is the assumed gender of the imaginary aspect of the universe, this is the best i can describe the "place", and i "wrote" there female. After that for about 10 minutes a feeling that can be described as a complete orgasm but it wasn't the same intensity it's like lower but more broad and covers any incomplete desire perfectly. It took care of also feelings and desires of that aspect that i had from childhood up till now, what a feeling of peace it was. The next morning i had no desire for women whatsoever , it was like the splinter was removed perfectly from my mind and i felt no sting from any erotic photo or video, or even memory and any awareness i had about women, all great and fine until in the evening before going to sleep i checked again to see how i feel and this time i was getting repulsed by women, i'll look into this more tomorrow i thought. The next morning yes, i was repulsed by women it felt gay, it was like i had a female in the "default place" and got repulsed from the concept or idea of female and at the same time it gave me peace from the temptation or idea of female, but i was still a guy by identity and everything just like always.

Then something even more crazy happened that evening, i was not repulsed by guys, right after i got this impression since something had changed i had to confirm with some gay porn, and instead of trying to vomit as usual that very "female in default place" that gave me freedom from women and got repulsed by them, now wanted the males. It was not a full blow attraction like i had for women, but it was the start and it was creeping in slowly, just like when you have your first crush as a kid and it was crazy tempting as crazy as it sounds. That was a no no for me, because i wanted control of this feeling not starting from the bottom again even though it would have been pleasant for some sex addict or the average person if they were exposed to this change without knowing what caused it. So i changed the default again to male and after about 4 days i was back to normal, this was some serious reality mind fuck for me and i could not find anything on the internet about this ever happening. Now i could not stand the sting i had from watching women and being back to normal, it felt like hell compared to the feeling of peace i had before, so i experimented again, and set the default to "male and female" with the idea that the male will get me repulsed by the males and the female by the females, but the exact opposite happened after i integrated them to default which took about 4 days, now i liked both, i was bisexual.

After that i changed it to "stone" with the aim of being asexual, well this one was hard to write/integrate to default compared to female/male default but after one week i did it and (can't believe i am writing this) i was looking at photos of massive rocks on the internet and i liked it about 50% compared to usual attraction maybe to more needed integration, and the "protection" from female/male concepts wasn't as effective either, but i kept going and it got better, but thoughts of having sex with stones felt like having sex with a dead thing and it was creepy to me, and i thought there just got to be a better thing out there, now it was february. I was researching asexuals and came with the idea to write "genderless in the default place" and this one too about 2 weeks to integrate and now i was repulsed by both as in a normal heterosexual would feel about having sex with an object, like a wall or table, also i felt like i was losing my ability or awareness of sexual intent either from others to me or by me to others without knowing, so i was finally a asexual but i had asexual problems even though i had all the technical information of being a heterosexual all my life. Finally i found the solution which was writing "male" and keeping it so when exposed to any "threat" like the concept of women, and when i kept it consciously stable which was very mentally demanding, i felt stable and immune in my "default writing" and that's exactly when it came to me, that the pleasure of sex is actually changing unconsciously that "default place" due to physical input, but then it comes back again after a few hours or one day depending on the person and then you want the change again. 

[Elton]

@Apuk how did you exactly change the default position? 

That was a place for attraction which you found ? 

If you could find the place controlling the erection that could solve ed and pe problems in men. Of course you need to write down the exact steps to access it too

[Apuk]

1 hour ago, Elton said:

@Apuk how did you exactly change the default position? 

That was a place for attraction which you found ? 

If you could find the place controlling the erection that could solve ed and pe problems in men. Of course you need to write down the exact steps to access it too

The only way your mind will tell you its secrets in a way that you understand is by befriending it. If you are selfless and nice and everything else good in all areas of your life then your mind will be the same way towards you, if you are half nice with half interested so your mind ect, whatever advantage you think you have over your mind so does your mind over you, you can never out trick your mind and hoping it won't see your interest. Now i could tell you the exact steps how my mind accepts the instructions but unless you have the same relationship with your mind as me then it will be converted according to your relationship with your mind and given that you don't know how to change this at the moment as most people then very likely the converted information will sound like complete gibberish to you and make no sense, basically you can't install it without those prerequisites.

A good place to start is that the mind is very affected by the universe or how you view it, think of it like 50x your parents personality. For example imagine if outside the clouds of the earth there was nothing but white space and air, you can go infinitely fast anywhere and come back again to where you were, the rest of the earth is the same, imagine now how that would affect your personality, this should give you a tiny tiny hint of what i am talking about. If i talk beyond this it will sound nonsensical and gibberish, and it will only make sense if you aim for that perfect personality which is hard and involves a lot of sacrifice as most religions will tell, this is probably already sounding nonsensical and a personal thing i might have experienced haha. Another example is if you imagine for a moment that all humans right now, all those in the past(which would still be here) and in the future would be immortal including your family all except you, you are normal mortal being, this imagined scene already affects the idea of death quite a lot, now imagine if there was something more universal and actually real that is actually immortal that's the effect you would have and it's that level required to change this.