Fuelled by external motivation?

[paprika]

Hi there,

Recently I had to realise that I cannot yet start acting on truly actualising myself because I am externally motivated rather than internally.

In my current job, I was promoted a couple of months ago, and I took the fresh role and considered it my passion, did my best and excelled at almost everything I could, surpassing the wildest dreams of my employer.  I was able to do that because I have a lot of previous experience in that role, but I haven't been given the chance to use that before. I wanted to show my skills and start walking on the path of living my life purpose.

Instead of enjoying growth in trust and freedom, I was told to set back without any specific reason. I only got vague references that I couldn't even understand. This made me think that I must have been probably putting my investments to the wrong place. Maybe I should start my own enterprise. However, I don't feel myself be that motivated to work out my own stuff than working on others. For example, in the past months, it wasn't a problem for me to sleep 6 hours (or less) and wake up early in the morning. But when I decided to focus on my own projects, I often get sleepy after a similar amount of rest. I'm starting to feel that the internal motivation isn't that strong as the external one I had at day job.

Why is this happening to me? What should I be working on in order to treat my own projects with the same (or even higher) importance than that of others?

Edited May 19, 2020 by paprika

[Average Investor]

It will really help if you are interested in the stuff you are working on. That will play a big first role in it. Starting out something is not really that easy though and it takes a lot of time and concentration. You are going to have to pinpoint what you really want and figure out how to go about doing it with a clear strategy. 

For myself the beginning is usually pretty slow and gradual. I have noticed with a lot of work on myself though I am able to concentrate much better. I have removed a lot of distractions from my life like facebook and video games. I will probably do these activities seldom in the future, but for now I have completely cut them out. This has freed up a lot of time that I was originally wasting. 

Work on your concentration skills. Building a strong meditation routine and more discipline is really going to help you push through more of the labor intensive work. You are likely just hitting an emotionally intensive spot for your work. You might be able to find a way around it, but you will likely hit it somewhere else while working on this. So you need to figure out how to power through it if you really want to make it succesful.

Build yourself a powerful routine that keeps your days more consistent with time. Building in strong habits that will build you up throughout the day is crucial. Then you are going to want to add in time that is purely focused on your business WITHOUT distractions. It is much better to have a little bit of time undistributed than to have a bunch of time with distractions. Figure out how to limit your distractions. I like to use a separate computer and an Ipad directly set up for productivity and work. That and spending an certain amount of allocated time to working on my business. I find that with less hours I can accomplish much more if it is just focused. 

You have to really want it. It is much easier to think about how good it would be and just not doing the work towards it. I have done this plenty of times myself. Once the work gets tough many will not be able to pass that point. Figure out what will motivate you and keep working on it. 

Try listening to this for 30 days. 

 

[paprika]

Thanks for all the advices @Average Investor.  I've listened to Earl Nightingale's talk, and I agree with all the contents from my whole heart.

The problem is that I know this all well. But I don't only know those, but I've been applying them. I've been watching Leo's episodes from 5 years now, purchased the Life Purpose Course. One might actually consider me quite successful in life: I came from a small town as a child of workers, and by the age of 30, I've earned a PhD, travelled around the world as a volunteer, conference speaker, and organiser of conferences, taught at the university level, visited some of the top universities, gave classes to hundreds of students on the topics I love the most, mentored many talents. Since then I mastered my emotions and psychology, I was able to buy an apartment for myself without taking out a loan, I met and married my wife. None of those would have been possible with taking these advices. I am on the path of the self-actualisation for a while now. For what it's worth, I haven't done 30 days with these advices in mind but the last 100 days at minimum.

What's curious for me here instead, why I'm finding more joy in helping others than chasing my own ideas? Perhaps my life purpose is to help others in reaching their goals in life? Sometimes this reminds me to the case when one wants to find her glasses but she can't because she's already put that on.

[universe]

When you have a business isnt the ultimate purpose of it to serve others?

If you become good at serving people, you will be set for the future. I dont understand the problem.

[Average Investor]

@paprika It sounds like you are either really happy with what you already do, or the business you want to start is not the the fit then. It would be possible to make a business around what you already are doing though with traveling and teaching. 

I guess the real question would be is what would you want out of the business? Freedom, less hours, more money, or maybe more impact? 

[Elton]

@paprika could it be that you are resistant to the thought of being financially independent.

Could it be that you want certainty and comfort which you find in your employers ? 

Are you in touch with your deepest values ? 

Could it be that you are stuck in wage slavery? 

Are you afraid of letting go of the glass of milk to find the quart of milk ?

[paprika]

@universe I don't have my own business at the moment. I work for a startup company. My problem comes from the fact that I've put a lot of effort into that company, but those aren't valued. Actually, I'm getting actively pushed back by the management. I'm inclined to think that somebody with such a performance might be scary for them. That was one of the reasons for me to depart from academia as well: I remember when I raised that I may want to resign from the university position and explained that I don't find that place challenging enough, the head of department replied that I didn't have any impact anyway. Recently, the same happened to me at the company, when I was having a chat with my managers about my performance: they told me that I don't add that much of a company value, I'm not senior enough to move higher on the ladder, etc.

I had to realise that I might have been surrounded by people of lower consciousness, and I don't have much more time to waste on proving them anything. But why I am still not motivated enough to leave? Something along the lines of @Elton.

[paprika]

@Average Investor yeah, I'm mostly happy with what I do these days, because I'm always trying to change my working environment in ways that helps me to optimise my performance, and I'm usually successful in that. But at the same time, I feel myself constrained and not understood by my peers. I often feel like an alien: I can't make my visions and actions accepted, or at least understood despite the fact I'm told to be an excellent communicator. Maybe all I need is a new environment, a new set of coworkers, or start having my own clients?  

[Average Investor]

@paprika Having your own clients is great. Especially once you work your way up you can choose who you want to deal with. If people are annoying, cheap, etc I just show them the door. But from the sounds of it though it sounds like you should explore some other options of new environments. It sounds like you are not working that well with others and have the skills and experience to make it work on your own. You will have to decide what you want. But if you want to do it on your own be prepared to work extra hard, but it will be worth it. You will have to liekly balance out figuring that out with your current position though too. 

Is the place your work for grant funded? 

[paprika]

@Average Investor no, it's a startup that can rely on income from customers in the industry, no investors, no grants, no debts, etc. Actually, it's a nice place in overall, but as you've also noticed, I don't work well with others, especially, with the management. And this matters me the most, more than money and even stability.

Curiously, since I started this topic, I'm getting more and more motivated to focus on my own projects. Perhaps what I needed here is just some kind words and a pinch of sympathy?