Awakening - "practical Toolkit"

[abrakamowse]

3 minutes ago, Ayla said:

Good.

Now... inner guide, what is that? Isn't that also a bit like Santa? True or false, yours or mine.. Drop that too. It's a concept. 

You are ONLY trying to realize who YOU are. No guides in or out. 

Drop. Drop. Drop 

 

I think I'm dropping everything.

I have to stop reading. Stop everything, no doing. Nothing at all. Like mooji says "nothing at all, nothing at all"!!!

[Mal]

Uncomfortably informative 

[Travis]

@Ayla I appreciate you sharing. 

[Ayla]

"Shadow Work" using interpersonal relationships

Any instance of your experience that feels less than PEACE, is a perfect opportunity to do what we usually call shadow work. 

Here are my own findings: 

1. write down the situation in as much detail as you can, addressing it directly to the person
2. remove (erase) name of the person from the story and replace it with "ME/I/MINE" - turn the message towards yourself (Byron Katie's Work)
3. circle the adjectives/attributes of the person you hold responsible for the "peace-less" state
4. The WHERE and the WHY.

Example: 

1. Let's say I have a situation where I perceive TT has done something that upsets me. 
2. "TT is being negative and judgmental, patronizing and un-loving." (avoid words like jerk, stupid, etc - they will get you nowhere). 
3. "I am being negative and judgmental, patronizing and un-loving" - ( this will most likely be met with a great deal of resistance by Ego the first few times). It is sometimes VERY difficult to dis-engage from the innitial story. What I used to do when this was the case, was that I replaced "TT" with the name of someone I really appreciated (you may use a friend, a femily member, a guru, a saint, etc) - so that the situation could feel less personal and dramatic
4. Finding w&w (where and why) for negative, judgmental, patronizing and unloving - this requires some soul searching

• where in my own life am I being negative and judgmental, patronizing and un-loving? Take them one by one. Analyze your behavior towards others. Search for examples in your "outer experience". If more advanced, look into how you treat Yourself in those manners
• why do I treat myself/others that way? We treat ourselves and others in direct link with our inner beliefs about ourselves, or, even better said, our deep inner wounds are projected forward into a behavior that would point us directly to the cause. Here is how the example will look in the end:

"TT is being negative and judgmental, patronizing and un-loving." = I hold an inner belief that I am not enough as I am, that I SHOULD be a certain way for people to love me. This is caused by feeling deep down that I am worthless >>> rejection and abandonment wound. (use "left hand right hand" exercise on first page of this thread.)

As with all my other posts here, it is NOT ENOUGH to understand these principles, as this will not change much in your outer manifestation. These tools have to be worked in order for them to reveal their magic  

**********************************

Few examples of *WHY - what is behind some of our behaviors: 

• arrogance > feeling of unworthiness ( if I act arrogant nobody will know how unworthy I feel inside)
• aggressiveness > fear of being hurt ( if I am being aggressive I don't let others close enough to hurt me)
• wanting to be right all the time > fear that I am not enough just by being, lack of trust in life's natural unfolding
• fighting > inner rage, desire to affirm my will to exist, "invisibility" issues
• neediness/feeling un-loved > narcissistic wound, not being able to love yourself as you are, lots of "shoulds"

[Ayla]

How to approach any spiritual teaching: 

SLOW DOWN. Do NOT just read and try to figure things out. This is what is meant by "listening with your heart" instead of the mind. 

When you read something that you feel of value to you, treat it as if you were falling in love. It doesn't matter what mind says, your heart will keep going back to the FEEL of the [person]. 

So read slowly, let the words sink into you completely, verify all your senses: how does it feel in body? As soon as mind comes with arguments or appreciations or explanations, SEE them for what they are - THOUGHTS - and discard them, just for one moment. 

Just read/Listen. Don't try to find a meaning, don't try to figure it out. Just listen to the words. Body will give signs of the phrase that resonates best with you. Keep it close. It will feel like love, peace and freedom. No need to understand it. Also, no matter how much Mind will try to keep you away from its truth, love will keep tugging at mind, so you will keep feeling pulled towards that video or teaching or whatever its form. 

ANY form of thought that comes, is just a resistance. Discard it. Just for that moment. Let go of the person looking. Just LOOK.

 

[Emerald]

On July 12, 2016 at 5:19 AM, Ayla said:

Running away

*I would first like to emphasize that this particular post is ONLY intended for those who are SERIOUSLY searching to embody who they really are. Also, this is, again, my own experience and understanding.

Running away is.. the ego. It can take up many forms, as many as people are, but for the purpose of this, I will focus mostly on the ENERGY behind it. 

Human beings are born equal and free. What I like to do to verify my steps forward, and to be sure that I don't fall into some ego trap, is put myself in a state of mind where I embody several people in the same time: I pick people from forgotten tribes from different parts of the world and I ask: would this person agree with me? would they do what I'm about to do? ( desert people, amazonian tribes, Australian aborigines, etc). Behind this, there is the understanding that THE TRUTH is everywhere present and it is not dependent of human (ego) understanding. Anything that you find yourself DOING that ALL those people would NOT do (are not doing), is a running away. 

The most obvious ways to run away from spiritual work, are the addictions: substances, relationships, sex, sports, perpetually seeking information, etc. 

Less obvious ones, are: meditation, inquiry, the need to understand things, the need to solve or to fix things, etc. 

Now your ego might feel the pinch or the sword of these words, thinking that all (most of) those things are GOOD. And yes, they CAN be, but usually aren't and this is why, VERY few people get results from them. (have you ever encounter people that have meditating for 30 years and...their energy is still solid as a rock, and you feel no openness from them?  )

The KEY to recognizing a "run-away" is AWARENESS and SELF-HONESTY!

Several ways to verify if you are running away, or on the contrary, if the tools you are using are beneficial on your own path: 

Let's take the meditation example (but you can replace it with anything that you "DO"):

- meditation as run-away: constriction, guilt and fear: (can you guess who's attributes are these?  )

• feels like a doing and an effort-ing. Every time the chosen time-slot for sitting down to DO it, feels like a huge burden to you and you are searching for any possible reason to skip it.
• something happens one day and your meditation schedule is perturbed. You feel this self-blame and frustration and become agitated 
• after meditation session you get up and feel this enormous sense of relief ("I did it! pheww")
• there are NO OUTER manifestations in your daily experience: no increased awareness, no calming of mind, no peace. Your reactivity to challenges (neurosis) remains unchanged.

- meditation as spirit call: spaciousness, compassion and peace

• schedule for meditation is flexible and you seem to somehow do it whenever you have a bit of time, even while walking or cooking.
• there is an expansion and a peaceful feeling when the time comes to sit down and meditate.
• the peace and awareness is prolonged into daily experiences and your reactivity is replaced by being RESPONSIVE 
• skipping a session is met with compassion and understanding 

*******************************************************************

I'd also like to talk about the difference between running away from thoughts (emotions) and dropping them:

When you run away from an emotion, it will feel like a constant pull to keep coming back to it (inner or outer). People and circumstances will show up and bring it back over and over again. It is also called pushing it down (or back). So, does it feel like fear? Does it feel like you'll still need to understand it, work on it "later"? That, is suppression. 

When you drop a thought, when it has been integrated, healed, let go of, it will feel like peace, like a liberation, a sense of accomplishment and of lightness. 

This is great. It's exactly what I needed to read. I'm always trying to escape all the time using contemplation and personal development, and there's this constant fear. I find it very difficult to just be still and be with myself without distracting myself with thought. This will help me release resistance to my meditation practice and take it at my own pace. I have a difficult time finding time (or that's what I tell myself- I think I'm actually afraid) so I haven't been very consistent with my meditation practice, missing days all the time. Then I beat myself up because of Leo's 'never skip a day' idea and I feel guilty because I don't feel like I can do this yet as I've had a habit of disassociation since childhood... and I think it makes my resistance worse even though on the conscious level I take this very good advice with a grain of salt, as missing one day won't magically undo progress. I understand it to be more about keeping any practice consistent. 

[FirstglimpseOMG]

Thank you Ayla, having a few authentic teachers around has suddenly become, ...very grounding for me and is so absolutely perfect right now.

I may try my own thread here in a while, it's all too new for me to articulate very well so far.

Sure is perfect that I found Leo, and then this place, and more awakened leaders and guides, as I am so NEW!!

 

 

 

[Ayla]

VERY Important topic: 

Thoughts and Feelings. 

OK so....

First things first and disclaimer: "this is an I-friendly language" - meaning that I will use "I" (and any derivations: me you we etc) in non-dual terms except when otherwise specified.

We've been doing it all "backwards" lol : trusting and engaging with thoughts, running away from (negative) emotions. 

Some of us know by now that Thoughts are not YOU. They come and they go.

For those of you reading this that do not yet know this:

• please verify if the thought that you are having RIGHT NOW was there yesterday or 10 years ago. Is there something except another THOUGHT that gives it REALITY? Is there something else than a THOUGHT pointing to any YOU? 
• this post might not be for you if you cannot grasp this information yet

Back to those of us who are able to disengage from thoughts. There's a TRAP here  Cause when MIND says that a THOUGHT is NOT REAL, it also tends to brush away the FEELING associated with the thought. That feeling right there, is what KEEPS the thought coming back. 

Actually, most of the time, the same thought comes back over and over again (sometimes about different people and situations), because it is somehow FUELED by a feeling. Body has stored some type of information by constricting or expanding some cells. When that energetical information is triggered, it will communicate to the neurons a way to "fire up" so that it has the same (type of) thought. 

So once you've dismissed a THOUGHT as NOT REAL and / or BAD, all you did was to DISSOCIATE mind from body. No further understanding/integration comes with this, only more frustration and more searching. 

So once you have found your way through dismissing thoughts, there's a "part two" that is CRUCIAL: feeling the emotion "underneath". Now I won't lie to you. Even though you are aware of it, even if you know and see it for what it is and are able to put a name on it, it WILL feel like what you ASSOCIATED IT WITH: fear, anger, sadness, jealousy, discontentment, etc. You will see that those LABELS will still try to stick to your actual experience, but if you just give attention to the PHYSICAL SENSATION and not to the THOUGHT, the "discomfort" will pas - or better said, what you will discover is that there is no discomfort. That physical sensation will reveal the thoughts you associated with it throughout your life. 

Once you truly are able to see thoughts are not true THROUGH feeling the sensations that bring them on, you're free