Lack of Purpose, Ambition and Motivation.

[Recursoinominado]

Man, i really struggle with those questions for as long as i can remember. 

Initially, my self-actualization path was motivated by high levels of suffering, after hitting rock-bottom, i made real efforts to change my life and i did it.

I really grew in the last 10 years (28yo male), for sure, but i feel stagnated for years now, trying to start and master a career path /life purpose but i just can't decide on anything and go for it. I lack the motivation, the passion, the ambition, that fire that moves mountains to get what it wants. 

I completed the Ultimate Life purpose several times and all it's exercises, but, in the end, didn't found anything that moves me deeply to act on if every day for years and master it.

I guess that self-development is kind of my biggest passion and the ULP always pointed to that because is where i spent most of my free time but i noticed that i spent it like a spectator now (more than before, when my suffering was greater), watching, listening and reading passively and when its time to take some action like actually apply those concepts like just sitting down and meditating, i don't have any motivation to do that and soon gave up. 

I tried fucking everything, did all the exercises to create a compelling vision, lists, and lists of goals/dreams, visualizations, affirmations, subliminals etc, i just can't find that "one" thing. 

I guess i always felt kind of dead inside (due to traumas etc) and that's a big problem as i can hardly feel passionate for anything.

I am obsessed with studying high achievers, people that mastered something, on the top of their fields and how they feel, think and act, but, truthfully, they look like aliens to me, i don't relate at all but my deepest desire is to have what they have. 

I would love some insights, tips or recommendations on this problem.

Maybe a life coach could help me with that?

[Arcangelo]

There is no free will.

[allislove]

Quote

Maybe a life coach could help me with that?

Yes, @Nahm

[blowfish]

@Recursoinominado

Try to build a foundation. Pick some small steps, take time to implement them in your life. It will serve as pillars to build more things on top. I believe the problem you encounter is that, the advice you get from all the courses is somewhat overwhelming to take action. Pick something, one or 2 things that you truly believe will improve your life and try to stick to it for a while, make it a habit, automatic. Let's say if you pick meditation, the choose the minimum amount of time that will still make a difference. Let's say 20 minutes. Do it every day for 100 days. Or reading a book for 20 minutes a day. It should feel easy but be enough to have impact. If you believe these things are essential and will benefit you over time, they definitely will. Pick anything you really believe in and commit. The rest of the time enjoy you life don't overwhelm yourself with the rest. After some time you will notice yourself picking up different things intuitively and build on top of this foundation you started. Maybe you will find a passion after that and a purpose. All the small things combined create a greater whole. Keep the destination in your mind but focus on the steps. And sometimes like in your case, the destination might become clear after you have some steps behind you.

Edited May 17, 2020 by blowfish

[Recursoinominado]

15 hours ago, Arcangelo said:

There is no free will.

Not helpful, but thanks anyway

14 hours ago, Cykaaaa said:

Have you tried taking psychedelics? They might reveal some important truths to you! Ask and ye shall receive. 

For some reason I get the sense that you need some more spirituality in your life. It might help you stop feeling "dead inside", as you describe it.

I'd really love to help and advise you, but I'm 18 myself, so... well, do whatever it takes to find some joy in your life. Even in the simplest things. Bring back the life into your life! Dead inside ain't the way to be. Notice when you feel excitement and pursue the activity that causes it - follow your excitement!

I sincerely hope you find your way. Love 

I have a good experience with psychedelics (LSD, mushrooms, ayahuasca, DMT, weed), but, with time, i noticed they were doing more harm than good, serving as an escape, making me ungrounded as fuck.

I also have a good spiritual background, even had mystical experiences of oneness etc, but, right now i need to focus on career, life purpose and making money, this will serve as a good foundation to deeper spiritual work. This deadness inside isn't lack of body awareness, it is more like distancing from "reality, dissociation, detachment, apathy, constant boredom and general dissatisfaction with life, although i am grateful for the opportunities i have, i live a comfortable life, maybe too comfortable. 

1 hour ago, Stenne said:

Try nofap or semen retention it gives you power and motivation to do the things that you don 't whant to do

I practice it on and off, at times i was able to keep a 6-month streak but it doesn't seem a magic pill for me, i think it helps more with the fact that masturbation, porn, and ejaculation does make me lethargic and unmotivated.

[Oliver Saavedra]

How is your approach to learning? Are you learning new stuff from different perspectives? 

Sometimes all you have is missing pieces from your life-purpose, sometimes you get stuck in your box, and learning is the way to expand it. 

I don't mean reading more books on self-help, sometimes you need to stop reading theory and you need to get hands-on developing skills. 

 What is your profession? What skills would expand your art? What would you love to know to do?

For example, I studied product design in college, but what I love is the creative process, I love building methodologies and teaching and guiding through them, so I'm training as a teacher and coach. Also my dream is to make an online educational platform of creativity so lately I've been studying and practicing animation, video production and storytelling. Building those skills are fundamental for my life purpose.

Much love

[The observer]

@Recursoinominado

Thanks. Now I can see 4 years into my future 

[Elton]

@Recursoinominado your life purpose could be in the domain of self improvement. 

Try and focus on finding your medium. 

If you can't find your life purpose create it, make small bets with respect to your life purpose to be certain that what you have created suits you.

[Recursoinominado]

 

 

 

 

On 17/05/2020 at 10:03 AM, blowfish said:

On 17/05/2020 at 10:03 AM, blowfish said:

@Recursoinominado

 Pick something, one or 2 things that you truly believe will improve your life and try to stick to it for a while, make it a habit, automatic. Let's say if you pick meditation, the choose the minimum amount of time that will still make a difference. 

I am focusing on my morning routine for subconscious mind reprogramming techniques like affirmations, visualization, subliminal audios etc. Have seen some changes, pretty happy with that, not perfect though, but i am trying to think long term in order to build a solid foundation.

 

On 17/05/2020 at 1:23 PM, Oliver Saavedra said:

How is your approach to learning? Are you learning new stuff from different perspectives? 

Sometimes all you have is missing pieces from your life-purpose, sometimes you get stuck in your box, and learning is the way to expand it. 

I don't mean reading more books on self-help, sometimes you need to stop reading theory and you need to get hands-on developing skills. 

 What is your profession? What skills would expand your art? What would you love to know to do?

For example, I studied product design in college, but what I love is the creative process, I love building methodologies and teaching and guiding through them, so I'm training as a teacher and coach. Also my dream is to make an online educational platform of creativity so lately I've been studying and practicing animation, video production and storytelling. Building those skills are fundamental for my life purpose.

Much love

I love learning, and that's a problem as i want to learning EVERYTHING but take consistent action on practically nothing. I lack commitment, discipline and persistence, too adhd and that's i think is my biggest problem as leads me to not put so much faith in myself to accomplish big things, my track record of long term plans i succeded which were NOT motivated by deep suffering is practically zero. I did accomplish above average results in some areas, including self-development and spirituality but most of it was me running from pain and as soon as this pain lessened, my motivation and meaning dropped. 

 

7 hours ago, The observer said:

@Recursoinominado

Thanks. Now I can see 4 years into my future 

How so?

 

1 hour ago, Elton said:

@Recursoinominado your life purpose could be in the domain of self improvement. 

Try and focus on finding your medium. 

If you can't find your life purpose create it, make small bets with respect to your life purpose to be certain that what you have created suits you.

For sure it is, but it isn't very clear as i lack basic strategic planning, commitment, persistence and discipline in general to achieve anything great. 

Right now i am trying to create a self-development/spirituality blog so i can write about this stuff, testing this medium for a while, grow a audience etc.

Edited May 24, 2020 by Recursoinominado

[Espaim]

1 hour ago, Recursoinominado said:

i lack basic strategic planning, commitment, persistence and discipline in general to achieve anything great. 

 

On 16/05/2020 at 11:48 AM, Recursoinominado said:

i just can't decide on anything and go for it. I lack the motivation, the passion, the ambition, that fire that moves mountains to get what it wants. 

Those seem like limiting beliefs.

If you can read this sentence, you can develop all that.

 

I somewhat know how it's to be lost. With the help of psychedelics and figuring out my blindspots I'm getting back on the track slowly.

After starting this work my motivation changed a lot for sure. The structure of my thinking changed, so changed my goals and vision. I would say you are probably now way better theorized than your older self. Nevertheless, the same changed thoughts and too much theory can be setbacks to your development.

On 17/05/2020 at 10:11 AM, Recursoinominado said:

I have a good experience with psychedelics (LSD, mushrooms, ayahuasca, DMT, weed), but, with time, i noticed they were doing more harm than good, serving as an escape, making me ungrounded as fuck.

Maybe reconsidering your use of psychedelics could help you sorting your thoughts out. Microdosing or low dose trips. It's important you try new ways of looking into your situation as that may give you powerful insights. Psychedelics make it easier to see yourself from a detached perspective, as you probably know better than me (I haven't tripped that much).

 

Also, do you have a dream board?

[The observer]

4 hours ago, Recursoinominado said:

How so?

I'm exactly like you are, only 4 years younger. You're describing me perfectly. What is your Enneagram type? Mine is 9. I guess yours is the same.