Experiencing "no memory"

[CVKBT]

Hi! I'm not sure if this is the right thread, as this could also be a case of going nuts. Nevertheless.

Since my Kriya Yoga practice has been getting more and more powerful (just in comparison to before, I never had any crazy "awakening experience" or super trippy stuff) a phenomena has been happening to me. It's already happened a dozen of times but the last 3 times, it really attracted my attention. I'll just give you the examples, you will understand what I mean by experiencing "no memory":

1) I was studying for the university in my garden. I'm on page 3 in my book. I look up, gaze through the garden and look back down again at my book. Out of nowhere I'm on page 5 (if the wind had flicked through the pages, I would've noticed. it's pretty noisy). No memory at all, that I've had flicked through the pages.

2) I'm playing FIFA and the match against the opponent starts. 5 mins went by, I look at the score and the opponent has shot a goal??? When did that happen?? Again, no memory. But in this case, I actually tried to remember so hard, that I remembered how the goal was (maybe, if I'm not tricking myself) shot. 

3) This happened just now. I'm in the middle of my Kriya Yoga practice and I'm at round 3/3 of Maha Mudra. As soon as I began the third round, I only could find myself exhaling with both legs pulled towards my body (which is the very last movement if you don't know). Once more, no memory of doing the previous movements of Maha Mudra. 

Now I actually don't freak out too much, because I think these are just pretty "severe" moments of monkey mind, where I'm so lost in thoughts that I forget just about everything around me (this only happens when I'm more or less alone with my inner voice). Plus I'm guessing that this isn't something that's special to me, but something that's happening to everyone. And maybe I'm getting conscious of just HOW MUCH we are lost in thoughts, concept and ego. But then again, I don't want my spiritual ego to build up even further, so I try to hold back my judgements of other peoples' minds. Looking back at myself, I was just shocked at how lost I could get. I'll just throw some more words in here, which could be further descriptive: unaware, unconscious, autopilot, loss of attention, not being present, life passing by, "What happened?", [______]

In conclusion, these could be positive symptoms. But since I don't really know, I'd like to hear some more opinions on this. Maybe this could be a serious problem. Has anyone experienced something similar to this? If yes, how did it unfold, for good or for worse? (Probably extremely different for everyone, but just curious)

Thanks a lot for reading this far! I appreciate you!

[Marianitozz]

Hey! I have some of this symtoms as well, I don t know, this can be genetics (my sister have some issues with forgetting stuff too and we have 20 yrs old) your diet, your social life, stress, trauma your life style overall. I have no friends due to my obsession for self improvment, and the lack of socialization affected me mentally in the long term (maybe you are the same). So I think you got to introspect a little bit your life and see what you lack and seek profesional help eventually if this thing persist.

 

[DrewNows]

Yes perhaps it is not good or bad, (don’t forget) to be you. Trust your gut feeling, give yourself whatever you need. Time jump or reality shifts can be scary, inspect who or what is afraid. Conscious intent, mindfulness, ending old patterns of behavior no longer self serving, honesty DO IT

Edited May 18, 2020 by DrewNows

[CVKBT]

@Marianitozz Thank you for your answer, as far as my life is concerned, thanks to Leo I'm kinda in 24/7 reflection mode..but maybe something from the subconscious is boiling up. May I ask how the symptoms express in your life?

@DrewNows Indeed they are scary, but I also find them extremely attracting in the sense of curiousity! If it wasn't for that curious instinct, I would have left this path long ago. Thank you for your suggestions, especially now being (honestly) aware of the ego and the situation will really be an aid.