Trip on Karma

[Shebo]

I Had a trip where i realized why i must love/learn to love the things that i am afraid/suppress

and Karma is nothing but a thing that loves you and serves you, but it doesn't understand what is good or bad for you because it loves both-sides equally

and most people including me suppress and run anyway from the things i actually want to do/love to do.

Fooling myself and waiting that one day something will change. My whole life I was trying to figure out what is wrong with me, why do i do the thing i don't like doing but keep doing them.

Until one day, I completely surrendered to whatever was happening to me, I don't know how it happened but it happened.

Ironically, I realized that if you want to experience the ultimate/best/a mindblowing life i had to face by biggest fear which is LOVE.

At the end of the trip i garbed a pen and and notebook and i filled 2 pages of everything that i'm afraid to love :

                 being afraid to procrastinate: i realized i love when i work

                 supressing my need to masturbate: i realized i love when i'm horny

                 being afraid to be weird: i realized that there is no such thing as weird and i love being in this body and this genius mind

                 remembering my past and the things i did and the bad things that happened to me: i realized that i love every single one of them

                 afraid to suffer: i realized that i cant wait to suffer so i can see what the other side looks like

                 afraid to love myself: realized how blind i was to my beauty and perfection. 

I really wish for everyone who's suffering from depression to open their mind until it explodes

My life purpose for now is to learn how to love even deeper because its soo scary and fun