The Single Most Valuable Lesson I Learned After 4 Years on the Spiritual Path

[EnlightenmentBlog]

I ain't keen on posting in the forum but I'm a regular here and tought to give smth back.

Maybe it will help some of you who might find themselves in a similar situation, maybe it will help me get my thoughts in order. Maybe neither.

FOR THOSE OF YOU INTERESTED IN MY STORY (Skip to get to the lesson):

I'm 23, male, logically and practically oriented. As a result or a cause, who knows, I identify myself with the Mind or the Voice. I had my first enlightenment realizaton when I was 19, thinking about the Universe and the meaning of life alongside girls and parties. It just struck me, as I was walking home from school, that if I had been taken to another part of the globe after I was born(I live in an Eastern European country, so lets say Japan), apart from the physical characteristics I would have been a completely different person. I froze with fear, I was dumbstruck. The logical conclusion was that the peson I thought I was was totally fictional. AKA Enlightenment 101. 

It was around that time that I found about Eckhart Tolle, Jed McKenna and last but not least, Leo Gura. I dived right in the theory since this is what I do best - think and reason. It was Hell at first but what has been seen cannot be unseen. There was an inner voice that kept pushing and wanted answers. Gradually I started to comprehend the magnitude of the matter I've fallen into by accident. It was both a cursing and a blessing. Needless to say I suffered from a minor depression or at least that's what it felt like, I'm no psychologist. School performance dropped and I had to apply for university. My survival mechanisms kicked in and I pulled myself together. For some time I dropped my spiritual pursuit.

When I got accepted into uni and things settled down at the end of the first year I picked up where I left off. I started to implement practices. Different kinds of meditations, journaling, Leo's list of enl. exercises, that shamanic breathing with binaural beats towards the end(my fav one). I was really hardcore the first year, then became sloppy the second one and now I'm just doing it for maintanence. I found out that "Letting Go" meditation works best for me.

THE LESSON (My Solution Bellow):

I identify myself with the Mind or the Voice. This is my Ego. I am it. This thing that is writing these lines. And I realized that I'd do anything to survive. I'd deploy tactics so hidden and sneaky it'd take years to unravel and comprehend. 

To some of you this might seem pretty obvious. "Well, that's the first thing you learn, you cannot trust yourself!" "We know about this, that is basic stuff, let's get to the more advanced lessons!", etc. Great for you, maybe read to establish your sense of superiority or indulge your curiosity or neither.

Basically, I became a low-level zen Devil. That's the best way to describe it. There are so many points during this path that I thought I had smth. But didn't. Or there were glimpses of it. The problem with an active Mind is that it confuses the map for the territory. During all the practices and realizations I always had a feeling as if I was there, in the back of the head. There was smth, maybe a belief deeply burried that took credit for any enl. glimpses. It was so subtle that only now I was able to see that even when I was meditating and had a clear head with no thoughts, I was still there, in the back, like an observer.

MY SOLUTION:

The problem with being identified with the Mind/Voice is that it always grasps onto things. If you eliminate one belief, another one is there to take its place. There are so many unconscious ones it's like weed in an infinite field. The other problem is being fixated on the finger pointed to the moon. Teachings speak of Emptiness, Love, God, Everything, Consciousness, etc. All of this ends up creating an image, an unconscious belief in your mind. Now you're not only identified with the Mind, you're identified with the Mind's image of Enlightenment. 

I stumbled upon a quote by Adyashanti, in which he compared the Mind/Voice to a tool. Nothing special about that. But smth clicked in me. It was the right time at the right moment and I made the connection. The me that is talking right now is the Mind/Voice. So deductively I'm just a tool. A survival tool. I know this is oversimplifies and an understatement, etc. But still in that moment due to this single statement 4 years of consciousness worked converged into one. I was truly empty. I was hollow. I felt I had not any control over the Mind/Voice or the body. I held up my hands and it didn't feel like anybody was doing it. Thoughts arose, but they did so on their own. I had truly broken through. 

This single belief overwrote everything else. And now whenever I return to it I instantly glimpse Enlightenment. You see, quite counter-intuitively, I stripped myself of my own power. I surrendered and took away my own control by the only means I could understant - a logical statement. Talking about the uniqueness of everybody's path.

DISCLAIMER:

Of course there is nobody that is experiencing Enlightenment. Of course there is nobody that is writing these lines. All personal pronouns are used for convenience, etc, etc.

Of course I'm not finished with the work. This survival tool that I am needs to be sharpened and greater insights had. I have not experienced being God/Love/Everything. I'm still on the journey.

I haven't taken psychedelics. Of course I will. I look forward to it.

CONGRATULATIONS FOR MAKING IT TO THE END. YOU CAN HAVE YOUR POTATO(inside joke).

 

PS: Like the devil I was I wanted to start my own blog teaching people about Enlightenment and created this nick for the same purpose. Oh, the irony.

[Javfly33]

Beautiful ❣️? Keep going ?

[oMarcos]

is that a Portal 2 joke