I Need help actualizing the work

[Depersonilized]

I need help with turning the intellectualism into wisdom. Over the two or three years of doing the work involved here, I've contemplated, had profound experiences with psychedelics, and integrated those experiences into knowledge. I learned to understand the knowledge and what it means, but like I said, I'm having a hard time embodying it from understanding to wisdom. If you have the wisdom of where I'm coming from you understand that knowledge turns to understanding, and understanding turns to wisdom. I was raised Christian, so that is deeply embedded into my ego.

After doing all this work, I understand: 

1. Memories, concepts, names, and ideas are not an "objective" part of reality, and we project onto reality with memories, concepts, names, and ideas.
2. If memories, concepts, names, and ideas are not a part of "objective" reality, "objective" reality must be something else.
3. The most "real" thing in our existence must be mind because that is the only way to have a relationship with "objective" reality. 
4. If concepts are not in "objective" reality and mind is the only real thing you can experience, "objective" reality must be a concept. 
5. If my mind is the only real thing, "other" is a concept. 
6. The ego is what projects onto reality because it is filled with concepts.
7. The ego thinks up the ego making ego itself a concept. 
8. Mind/consciousnesses must be the awareness itself if it is not the ego and mind is the only real thing, so reality must be aware and conscious. 
9. If awareness/consciousness creates ego and concepts, that being all that there is, awareness and consciousness is God. 
10. There must be some driving force behind why God creates reality. I can only suspect it's because he wants to know himself and can only do that if there is love behind creating and knowing.

That's where I'm at right now, but my problem is that I keep reverting back to Christianity, and I'm not sure why. What happens is revert back and then twist those bullet points to this: 

1. Memories, concepts, names, and ideas are not an objective part of reality, so God must have given us the authority to bend reality to our will out of love because he wants a relationship/partnership. 
2. Reality is still God, but it is other from ego. 
3. Everything else in the non-dualism bullet points are true, but ego is the only thing that is separate from God. 

How do I stop reverting back to this?Right now in the moment, I'm not in that mindset, but I feel that tomorrow I may revert back. I dont know how to deal with this, and I need some advice. 

[Mike Book]

You keep reverting because that's how you were raised and that is what your mind likes to think. If reverting is a problem for you, ask yourself why you want to stop reverting. I was also raised Christian but I think I got lucky because my family isn't very devout. Also, notice if you're telling yourself that you shouldn't be reverting back to your Christianity. This could be an example of using "should" statements which can be tricky sometimes to break free from. (see these two videos: "A Rant Against Morality" and "How To Stop Moralizing - Removing The SHOULDs From Your Life")

[JosephKnecht]

I will try to give you a meta-perspective on your journey. Hopefully, that helps.

As you go through life, you acquire concepts that ground you to reality. To exist in the world you must have a worldview. A worldview comprises of all your memories, experiences, and ideas.

As you grow you learn more and more. Your memories, experiences, and ideas about the world increase. To make an analogy, you are building a house of cards. You are building your house of cards for years but then you learn that you have used the wrong foundation. So you destroy your house and you start over again.

Destroying your house is painful, but it has to be done. So you start anew. You learn more ideas about reality. You read about ego, Objectivity, God, etc. You are rebuilding your house of cards but still, some pieces are not falling into place somehow. For years you are building a new house of cards, but new winds come and you have to destroy it again.

You see, when you are building the house of cards, you fall in love with the process of building, so you don't want to destroy it. That is when you try to revert to old ways. You want to revert back to religion so that religion can ground you. You wish to revert back to old ways because you know that your house of cards is not stable yet. You don't want to destroy it. 

Until you realize that everything you have written above is just a concept that exists in your imagination, you will have to keep building and destroying your house of cards. At the end, when all the cards fall, you realize that there never was any house or any cards. 

[Depersonilized]

Thanks for the replies. I'll keep working at it.