I think I understand the paradox of Hedonism. Let me try to explain

[assx95]

I was jerking off to porn 3-5 times a day, sometimes 8-9 times by staying up all night. Binge watching TV shows while eating fast food. Spent time on the four giants : Pornhub | YouTube | Netflix | Instagram. All of them represent one human drive. It was especially strong in me. 

I contemplated it. I found out that what I really desire is - An orgasm which never ends, and which keeps getting more pleasurable. 
Which means, that to sustain such a drive, would require a super being, who was infinite bodily resources, cause it has to ejaculate continually, while at the same have the capacity to experience ever increasing pleasure. So, it has to develop an infinite penises and infinite hands, and eventually it would be explode in pleasure. 

To have such a drive for a finite body would break it, and pleasure would come at the cost of everything else, and that would cause pain and suffering, I know from experience, that i had blurry eyes, a pain in the left part of my chest, and tiredness. And yet i was never satisfied, cause I cannot be satisfied. My drive would never be fulfilled until I become that Super being. 

And at the foundational core of my mind, i believed that great pleasure has to come from outside. Outside has to mean, accessing the pleasure taps that giants like Porn hub provide. And my finite body is unable to consume the abundance of pleasure taps cause there are a thousand digital women in a thousand different positions, and I want to jerk off to all of it, so Instead of consuming it, i am being consumed by it. I break down. 

So, although the drive is valid, it doesn't work. I am currently on Day 10 of Nofap and I have had sexual visions, and I dream of nude women almost every alternate day, my imagination is capable of much more than I thought it is capable of. 

 

[Leo Gura]

What you really desire is God-realization. But since you don't know that yet, you settle for lesser pleasures.

[UDT]

How is that Hedonism? My friend I´ve met people who had years and years of sex club party drug excesses
and one man particularly, he said nothing excites him anymore. And thats exactly the trap in hedonism

[Espaim]

I think this is a cool Rupert Spira video about the topic.