Taking a break?

[SamueLSD]

Recently, life has been very turbulent. 

I am trying to get over a breakup while dealing with a lot of negative emotions, and I have been using old habits that I usually abstain from to escape. ( Weed, video games, porn ). 

I just have no motivation to sit down and read for a while, to try a new self-actualisation technique, anything really. ( I am still meditating however ).

Will this just make the problem worse, or should I wait before I start pushing myself to develop again?

[loub]

I'm sorry you are going through a rough patch right now. However, those can be most helpful in my experience. Whenever I sense I am in one I like to step out of the understanding of discipline vs. acceptance. It's just not effective.

That allows me to align myself with whatever it is that I am going through. Really to join with and intimately feel the experience I have right now. Turns out it always has something to teach me and I always come out more understanding. Just step out of the thought-story of what you should and shouldn't do, and where that will and will not get you. There is so much beauty to every experience you could possibly have.

You will come out of it stronger, I promise

PS: here's a blog entry by Matt Kahn, quite short and I think very fitting to your situation: https://mattkahn.org/you-are-not-your-urges/

[Nahm]

One of the most unnoticed & effective path approaches is dropping it entirely.

[Preety_India]

 

 

@SamueLSD  

Sorry to hear about your situation. 

Do not judge yourself. 

Sometimes distraction serves a good purpose and a coping mechanism against emotional stress. 

So video games, porn, eating junk food, weed is okay during this limited time. It's a part of your cathartic release process. 

The brain wants to be involved in anything that seeks its attention so let your brain survive this way. It will eventually drop those bad  habits at the earliest turn of recovery. 

So don't bash yourself. Your body brain wants an escape from toxic emotions for a while. Let it do what it wants. 

Take a good ass break. Don't force or push yourself into self actualization right now, it's like telling a sick child to start running. 

Be patient and loving with yourself. 

When the storm has gone, you will emerge healed and stronger and renew your life journey with new motivation and desire. 

Best wishes and take care. 

 

 

[SamueLSD]

@Preety_India Thank you, this is very reassuring. 

 

@loub That was a good link, being aware of the habits / addictions you have when certain feelings arise, and separating those from the feelings themselves / yourself is very important to recovery & the path in general.

19 hours ago, loub said:

 to step out of the understanding of discipline vs. acceptance.

What does this mean?

 

 

@Nahm The answer is often counter intuitive, I guess. I feel like that would be a bad idea though... 

 

 

Edited May 12, 2020 by SamueLSD

[Preety_India]

 

 

@SamueLSD

You're welcome 

 

[Javfly33]

What exactly is your understanding of "self-actualization"?

A crisis can be "great" for self-actualization. 

For example if one would "escape" using several distractions to numb oneself from distress/confusion, maybe a step of self-actualization can be not doing those distractions for a day, and see how you feel (how "more bad" you feel).

But anyways don´t feel guilty for dropping everything for a while if you have to grieve and allow yourself.

[SamueLSD]

3 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

What exactly is your understanding of "self-actualization"?

Good point, everything is relative. 

I'll start doing things relative to my current baseline, and as I start find more clarity, I'll do more ambitious things.

Thanks!

[Nahm]

@SamueLSD

Counter-logical perhaps. Intuition says there’s no such thing as ‘negative feeling’ as it’s source is of course infinite love. I believe in practices, meditation, inspection work, etc...but the most profound ‘practice’ I’ve experienced, is a few days for me. Just regular ol’ ‘peopling stuff’, activities that I simply prefer. Good feeling to me, stuff.  I know people who ‘push through’ their whole damn life, never knowing, never feeling, intrinsic inspiration, the arising of pure love & magic within. 

[SamueLSD]

@Nahm  So, sort of pleasing the ego? 

I think I get what you mean. Although I have been doing my ordinary stuff recently, I don't feel particularly less aware, or confused / frustrated about reality. My mind is still constantly self-inquiring, even when I don't really feel like it. So I guess I can rely on my obsession with enlightenment to keep me in alignment while I go through this rough patch.