Dissecting "How To Forgive Anyone Who Hurt You"

[Rolo]

On 11/05/2020 at 7:11 AM, jimwell said:

 If you have been extremely and disgustingly abused by your parents during childhood, that means you are an adult person who has low self-love, low self-esteem, and a doormat.

 

I dont think that love should be measured in this way, it cannot be measured by our trauma if it is beyond our trauma.

[jimwell]

9 hours ago, Rolo said:

I find that when i go to a specific trauma and do the forgiveness techneque that trauma is linked to other related memories.

My bully is related to my aggressive father to my cruel boss to other bullies and so on... 

When i stick to one specific event will it make the other events esier to heal? 

I can feel the tension in my body and it just feels like all this rejection and hate. The tension feels like so many people... 

The tension is like the devil and there is a angel somewhere else and the angel is repressed and in fear of the pain, when i do this nondual thing it feels like they are both integrating but the fear still crops up its like the hate from my bully and his projection of my weakness is the very thing i am afraid of becoming.  

That tension in your body is the collective pain trauma inflicted by all your abusers. Continue to be aware of that to keep it under control.  All your bullies are related in a sense they have one thing in common, they all hated and hurt you. First, your father bullied you. That left a vibe in you which is subconsciously or consciously detected by other bullies. That is why you were regularly targeted by bullies. Or at least a few times.

Why do bullies bully others? It is to regain their perceived lost of self-esteem and power. They were bullied by their father and other bullies. The second reason is to transfer their pain and trauma to others, lessening their trauma. That helps them survive. They choose targets who they think are weaker than them and safe to mess with. They never choose humans who are as or stronger than them. Why? Because they are pretentious cowards. They can't handle people who pose a threat to them. Remember that.

Don't work on one traumatic event only. That will not be enough to heal other traumas. Work on every trauma or painful memory. That is a lot of hard work. So I understand if that is not possible. As mentioned in my original post, do at least 70 percent. If your childhood was really bad like mine, do at least 90 percent. It is normal to remember other repressed trauma while working on a specific trauma. It even feels endless. But it eventually ends.

You will know when your trauma is greatly minimized and you have achieved significant healing when you can willfully welcome the trauma or painful memories in your mind and feel a sense of peace. Before you achieve that, keep telling to yourself "I want to be at peace with this horror memory." every time a painful memory comes up. And of course, you need to do the Word or Onenote trauma exercise first and learn the lessons of the painful memories  so it would be easier for you to move on.

 

8 hours ago, Rolo said:

I dont think that love should be measured in this way, it cannot be measured by our trauma if it is beyond our trauma.

If a child is enormously abused by his parents, that child will ask why his parents hate and abuse him. And he will believe it is because he is a bad, worthless child, and he deserves the abuse he receives from his parents. The child will blame himself instead of the parents. That automatically results to low self-love, low self-esteem and much self-hate. This belief and "self-view" are completely ingrained in his soul that he retains them until adulthood, even until death if he doesn't do anything about it. If you can't see this truth, contemplate it and do introspection until you can.