How to shift from passive to active thinking?

[The observer]

Hello folks ??

I have recently been talking to a friend of mine on Whatsapp by exchanging voice recordings. Somehow, I noticed how she's way better than me in articulating her thoughts, and we talked about it. We concluded that I need more practice. I find it kind of related to this thread ??

However, that discussion led me to another realisation about myself; My mind seems to be working in a passive manner, like it doesn't produce thoughts actively all the time. I don't experience monkey-minds often. The majority of my thoughts get created in response to external stimuli, events, environment, etc... It's like my mind is often in reaction-mode. I kind of more interested right now in shifting towards active thinking. So, my question is has anyone else experienced this? How to become more active? I don't wanna call it a problem because honestly it doesn't seem to be a negative thing. It just seems like I don't have a desire to manipulate the world around me like others. It kinda makes me feel left out. This has been a theme for more than two years now.

Note #1: I don't have problems with creativity. My mind is quite creative, but mostly only in response to questions and conversations. Note #2: I don't usually initiate conversations or go out with my friends. I'm comfortable living in solitude and I meditate, like a lot.

[Nahm]

@The observer

Passive or active thoughts aside...how passive or active is the creating of this life? Sometimes we give properties to thought, which is itself a thought. 

[Espaim]

I don't have a clue on how to do that. I am curious though.

3 hours ago, The observer said:

it doesn't seem to be a negative thing

Why do you want to change that passive thinking thing then?

For me, it seems like you do think this is a problem.

Edited May 10, 2020 by Espaim

[The observer]

2 hours ago, Nahm said:

@The observer

Passive or active thoughts aside...how passive or active is the creating of this life? Sometimes we give properties to thought, which is itself a thought. 

I see. But that's somehow become a moot point to me, the imaginary me. I kinda miss experiencing the illusion of control. It would be nice to know that it's possible to play on both sides.

[The observer]

8 minutes ago, Espaim said:

Why do you want to change that passive thinking thing then?

It's not me who wants to change it but rather the other way around. It's my environment that caused me to desire so. I don't know if it makes sense. But let's just say that I desire control for no reason, the same way the body desires food or water.

12 minutes ago, Espaim said:

For me, it seems like you do think this is a problem.

I don't think problem is the proper word. Maybe need, or just desire. I mean wouldn't it be cool to have control over things? And I don't mean that in an evil manipulative way. Just in a way that makes everything feel more in place.

[Nahm]

20 minutes ago, The observer said:

I see. But that's somehow become a moot point to me, the imaginary me. I kinda miss experiencing the illusion of control. It would be nice to know that it's possible to play on both sides.

What would you do?    Can you name three? 

[The observer]

7 hours ago, Nahm said:

What would you do?    Can you name three?

I would forget all the things I've learned, especially about enlightenment. But first, I would forget the distinction between free and non-free will. Perhaps I would also not be so present in the now.

If I could.

[Nahm]

@The observer

Then what would you do? 

[The observer]

3 minutes ago, Nahm said:

@The observer

Then what would you do? 

Do you mean the means to get there? I don't know. I guess I would have to just wait and stop interacting with information of such. 

Or do you mean after that? I probably would have a strong sense of purpose. Right now I can't because I find everything pointless. Not in a negative nihilistic way, but more in a dismantling way so I only do the bare minimum. Most of my time is spent on doing nothing unless I have to do something.

[Nahm]

@The observer

How have direct experiences been? Emotionally, physiologically, etc?

[The observer]

40 minutes ago, Nahm said:

@The observer

How have direct experiences been? Emotionally, physiologically, etc?

Satisfying. But that's the thing. Because of that, I don't feel the need to seek more satisfaction, well, I guess until now.

[Nahm]

@The observer

Might be a meta-calling. Infinity, Not Knowing, can be realized as being, but also ‘seen’ in direct no-experience if you will. Very electrifying, and clearing of thoughts about control, self, will, free, etc. Very inspiring and creative. Often there’s a zooming so far out, feeling infused purpose is suddenly seen to have been there all along. Not quite the same quickened intensity, but a dreamboard can reveal this also. I can easily see either one leading to the other, collapsing the two.