Interesting trip discussion

[Bulgarianspirit]

Hey guys i found this trip on salvia from a website and was really interested on getting a discussion about it.

"The people that believe in such things generally say that the One separated into the Many in order to create the Universe and all within it. It was an act of love, so they claim. What else would it be?"

On my travels into salvia space, I heard something else. (More accurately sensed it as if it had happened to me)

The One did indeed separate into the Many, but that was no act of love. It was an act of desperation fueled by abject horror.

The One went insane, you see.

The One was ALL that there was, the only single solitary thing in existence, and eventually after eons of that, it fractured into the Many in much the same manner that a schizophrenic descends into madness- out of sheer stark-raving terror. It was so *lonely,* so very *lonely,* and it could only hold dialogue with itself. More utterly *alone* than anything we humans can even begin to imagine, utter terror, the darkness of madness, and the prospect of eternal fearful isolation drove it to fracture itself into many minds all desperately trying to cling to and believe that they really are individuals which are completely separate from each other and above all else, that they're really definitely positively not in actuality only one being.

(please oh please oh please let's never ever ever let ourselves remember that we're really all just one solitary being, not that, not ever, never please never, anything but that...)

The whole reason we're "here" is so that we don't have to be *there.* There with the One, there in that awful state of knowing full well that we are not we, we are instead I, and I am fucking lonely and afraid and absolutely mindlessly terrified of my reality as the only fucking being in all existence. Not just the only being, but the only thing! Hell, there *IS* no existence, only me.

God has multiple personality disorder, times infinity.

The first time this came to me it overwhelmed me. I actually cried for The One in pity, feeling it's awful pain, vividly sensing it's despair and loneliness, and then TERROR STRUCK ME as I realized that it was myself that I was crying for, for I am it, and it is me, and we are/I am a royal fucking mess. Yes, we/I deserve pity if anyone does, but there's no one to pity me but me, no one else to turn to for comfort, and no way to deal with myself and what I really am and remain sane other than to deny to myself that that's what I really am. I must live a lie or face my own insanity.

All credits go to the author. I'm curious if anyone has had anything similiar. It could explain some of my more dark existential trips. The closest thing i think could be like humans having multiple personality disorder.However taking that to infinity sure sounds complicated.

http://salviaspace.blogspot.com/2013/10/the-darkest-interpretation.html?m=1

Edited May 9, 2020 by Bulgarianspirit

[Leo Gura]

Certainly a salvia trip might make you think God is insane.

Careful with salvia, folks!

[James123]

5 hours ago, Bulgarianspirit said:

Hey guys i found this trip on salvia from a website and was really interested on getting a discussion about it.

"The people that believe in such things generally say that the One separated into the Many in order to create the Universe and all within it. It was an act of love, so they claim. What else would it be?"

On my travels into salvia space, I heard something else. (More accurately sensed it as if it had happened to me)

The One did indeed separate into the Many, but that was no act of love. It was an act of desperation fueled by abject horror.

The One went insane, you see.

The One was ALL that there was, the only single solitary thing in existence, and eventually after eons of that, it fractured into the Many in much the same manner that a schizophrenic descends into madness- out of sheer stark-raving terror. It was so *lonely,* so very *lonely,* and it could only hold dialogue with itself. More utterly *alone* than anything we humans can even begin to imagine, utter terror, the darkness of madness, and the prospect of eternal fearful isolation drove it to fracture itself into many minds all desperately trying to cling to and believe that they really are individuals which are completely separate from each other and above all else, that they're really definitely positively not in actuality only one being.

(please oh please oh please let's never ever ever let ourselves remember that we're really all just one solitary being, not that, not ever, never please never, anything but that...)

The whole reason we're "here" is so that we don't have to be *there.* There with the One, there in that awful state of knowing full well that we are not we, we are instead I, and I am fucking lonely and afraid and absolutely mindlessly terrified of my reality as the only fucking being in all existence. Not just the only being, but the only thing! Hell, there *IS* no existence, only me.

God has multiple personality disorder, times infinity.

The first time this came to me it overwhelmed me. I actually cried for The One in pity, feeling it's awful pain, vividly sensing it's despair and loneliness, and then TERROR STRUCK ME as I realized that it was myself that I was crying for, for I am it, and it is me, and we are/I am a royal fucking mess. Yes, we/I deserve pity if anyone does, but there's no one to pity me but me, no one else to turn to for comfort, and no way to deal with myself and what I really am and remain sane other than to deny to myself that that's what I really am. I must live a lie or face my own insanity.

All credits go to the author. I'm curious if anyone has had anything similiar. It could explain some of my more dark existential trips. The closest thing i think could be like humans having multiple personality disorder.However taking that to infinity sure sounds complicated.

http://salviaspace.blogspot.com/2013/10/the-darkest-interpretation.html?m=1

This trip is definitely correct. That loneliness feeling is the reason of this creation. God is love and terror at the same time. Additionally, there is no good or bad trips. There is no you as ego. Good or bad trip based on ego. I love to get crazy, so i love horrifying trips, answer is yes. But it is a good trip for me. But not for you. Lol

[Bulgarianspirit]

4 hours ago, James123 said:

This trip is definitely correct. That loneliness feeling is the reason of this creation. God is love and terror at the same time. Additionally, there is no good or bad trips. There is no you as ego. Good or bad trip based on ego. I love to get crazy, so i love horrifying trips, answer is yes. But it is a good trip for me. But not for you. Lol

Yeah i really got this vibe when tripping with a friend realizing i'm talking to my self while on Lucy.I might post that trip someday. To me it makes sense if you are eternal consciousness forever that you are lonely.Of course i didn't mean this post as something negative but educational.Insanity ain't a bad thing perhaps it is like a defence mechanism,but it does explain how we forgot we are one being and created all of reality with imagination.It does explain how we see a world when it's sheer emptiness beyond our form.A human analogy for me would be people with alter personalities.These personalities exist only in their minds and they are a part of their mind.But when the person looks deep within they are facets of his mind.Having seemingly their own character and problems.Taking this to the infinite mind perspective is a great way to open up one's imagination about the arising of form..Forgetfulness and ignorance seem to be main elements of existence.To me this ignorance is bliss there is nothing beyond it but nothingness itself. So i have fallen in love with it's insanity. Created out of love and beauty for its own good.The magic of it is that you don't feel alone,if you aren't conscious that you are all of it. Maybe that's the purpose of the ego,love yourself through being all the forms you can be always and forever..

Edited May 10, 2020 by Bulgarianspirit

[James123]

1 hour ago, Bulgarianspirit said:

Yeah i really got this vibe when tripping with a friend realizing i'm talking to my self while on Lucy.I might post that trip someday. To me it makes sense if you are eternal consciousness forever that you are lonely.Of course i didn't mean this post as something negative but educational.Insanity ain't a bad thing perhaps it is like a defence mechanism,but it does explain how we forgot we are one being and created all of reality with imagination.It does explain how we see a world when it's sheer emptiness beyond our form.A human analogy for me would be people with alter personalities.These personalities exist only in their minds and they are a part of their mind.But when the person looks deep within they are facets of his mind.Having seemingly their own character and problems.Taking this to the infinite mind perspective is a great way to open up one's imagination about the arising of form..Forgetfulness and ignorance seem to be main elements of existence.To me this ignorance is bliss there is nothing beyond it but nothingness itself. So i have fallen in love with it's insanity. Created out of love and beauty for its own good.The magic of it is that you don't feel alone,if you aren't conscious that you are all of it. Maybe that's the purpose of the ego,love yourself through being all the forms you can be always and forever..

Definitely, if evil is not exist what will be the purpose of god? Or if everyone knows they are god how can be any duality , we cant find ourselves as gods. Everything has to balance itself. Additionally, i felt all molecules in my body (maybe millions of them) smashed by universe, and I exist as nothing. Lol. I was feeling this way when i felt that loneliness. But if we don’t forget, duality can never happen. Additionally, purpose of creation comes from loneliness, which creates unconditional love to anything. That painful loneliness will bring you the point that you can love anything it doesn’t matter. As long as something is different than you. Lol

 

Just feeling of loneliness created this duality within the consciousness, can you imagine how many feelings infinite consciousness have? Waoww. We will experience infinite times, lives and satisfaction levels from infinite perspectives. There is no level of consciousness. It is only you. Unbelievable.

Edited May 10, 2020 by James123

[Exystem]

It wasn't salvia, but I experienced kind of the same. I was tripping with a friend who had a quite materialistic worldview. The trip was nice, but not so intense. Then we smoked some weed at the end when it was almost over. Suddenly It kicked back in and I became so much more conscious. I saw through the physiological reaction and face expressions that my friend would have the same experience. Then Infinity rolled over me and I was watching myself speaking to my friend, trying to convince him that this is really deep shit now and we are one and how wonderful it all is, that this shift of consciousness we simoultaniously experience can't be explained from a materialistic perspective until I finally realized what a fucking joke it was, that I just weren't conscious enough to realize that I'm imagining my friend. My ego was trying to get confirmation/verification but I imagined it all. I realized that I am completely lonely, the only way not to be conscious of it is to create such a solid reality with suffering, pain and fear which I try but can't run away from, that it seems completely real and I can believe to exist amongst others who could potentially end my existence the next moment. I kept talking (or better watching me talking) but now in tears, realizing I'm only talking to myself. That no matter what I do it can only be me answering, forever. And the answers would doubt everything I say, like the guardian of the matrix. That I invented terror, rape, murder, torture, everything just to keep myself from realizing my "real self" which I have to live through eternally with no suicide option. That I can only try to die or disappear by imagining to be something else and that this is obviosly what I wanted most otherwise this human ego wouldn't exist in the first place. Reality seemed like the process of running away from itself. I felt a lonelyness never felt before, infinite. I realized that of course, of course (!!!) I will always experience pain over and over again, because I have nothing else to do. Everything else gets boring, like a child playing alone in the sandbox forever. There needs to be this duality eternally, if it didn't it just wouldn't, because I'm eternal so I lived an infinite amount of time already and I still experience suffering, so obviously it needs to exist, its not a bug that can be ended one day forever. My dream of reaching enlightenment to end suffering became just a joke. A dream, reality running away from itself again. God wants to dive into the dualistic realm losing itself, otherwise it wouldn't. If everything was fine why ever change it? At most, to make it better. And if I experience here and now the human suffering, it's probably the best option. Rather a limited suffering human to maintain the belief in something "new"/"different" or "unexpected" and exspecially the belief in something better, some progress to completion or possibility of beeing able to make something better, rather these false beliefs than beeing the eternal same void, knowing to experince everything just for nothing.
After some "time" I came back to earth again. I was really happy to have human problems again, a limited mind thinking about meaningless stuff, people around me and sensations and so on. I think the experience slowed me down a lot on my spiritual path. It all became kind of pointless. Reaching enlightenment now or in a billion years doesn't matter, since it is first of all not in my (human) hands to make it happen and secondly I will anyway come back to form again since I am here already, thirdly it's already perfect and nothing will ever really change.
But there are also some good things about it. Realizing it won't really get better in the future forces you to make peace with the present. It's literally perfect, the best. Jealousy? For whom? Fear of death? Well, nice alternation, but nothing will really change. Pain? It's the price for your fun. And at least, I am open-minded enough (or just desperate enough?) to believe there is more to it. Maybe it's just one dimension, the Void or whatever you may call it, but I missed a whole different dimension like Love. I had other experiences, they were showing me different parts of reality. If God's mind is infinite, of course he will experience infinite lonelyness, how not so? But also infinite love. There could be so much more turning the tide in "the end". And I can't remember all of infinity right now, so from my here-and-now-perspective there's so much more to explore. I tricked myself into this illusion where i actually know nothing, and I can go on for eternity searching myself together. So even if it's all pointless/meaningless, at least I have a job now... ..............................

All in all, definitely worth an experience! Since you have nothing else to do, why not look at reality from radical different angles? I love to get mindfucked. It's funny to know that it's not (only) you running away from god, but god itself (who else?)

[James123]

On 5/9/2020 at 10:01 PM, Bulgarianspirit said:

Yeah i really got this vibe when tripping with a friend realizing i'm talking to my self while on Lucy.I might post that trip someday. To me it makes sense if you are eternal consciousness forever that you are lonely.Of course i didn't mean this post as something negative but educational.Insanity ain't a bad thing perhaps it is like a defence mechanism,but it does explain how we forgot we are one being and created all of reality with imagination.It does explain how we see a world when it's sheer emptiness beyond our form.A human analogy for me would be people with alter personalities.These personalities exist only in their minds and they are a part of their mind.But when the person looks deep within they are facets of his mind.Having seemingly their own character and problems.Taking this to the infinite mind perspective is a great way to open up one's imagination about the arising of form..Forgetfulness and ignorance seem to be main elements of existence.To me this ignorance is bliss there is nothing beyond it but nothingness itself. So i have fallen in love with it's insanity. Created out of love and beauty for its own good.The magic of it is that you don't feel alone,if you aren't conscious that you are all of it. Maybe that's the purpose of the ego,love yourself through being all the forms you can be always and forever..

Purpose of creation is only feeling lonely as god, satisfaction itself as god and unconditional love as god seeing that something is other than it. Consciousness is everything and nothing. You exist as nothing but everything. Whoever is around is your imagination, and your ego is imagination too. Thats why all is one, and it is you as consciousness . Lol