Homeostasis Larger Than Me

[Elton]

Its been over a year I've been meditating missed a handful of days but in the last 100 haven't missed a single day, however I just noticed lately the negative dialog man o man its so devious I hadn't had a clue of how negative my thinking was positive thinking!  Positive thinking was taken so lightly by me a few years ago but not any more, tabacco has any link with negative thinking?  Cause I've experienced alot of shit in the psyche when I smoke, and Upper limiting I cannot understand how I can Upper Limit every day to be Upper limiting you need to go up I cannot see any progress in anything.  And man starting a small business shit, I'm sooo scared after seeing leos latest video had under estimated that too, 

Homeostasis, fuck!  Today I realised the higher consciousness homeostasis, my mom calls me a hermit cause I quit seeing tv and news and dad says I've gone mad performing self hypnosis every night, my good friend says that my attempt to gain emotional mastery and accept things the way they are just because they exist says thats it is a problem in some part of my brain the frontal lobe, tabbaco is an obvious homeostatic point...people wonder how can I work for only 8 thousand rupees being so qualified that too I don't get 2 thousand from there cause only if I complete a year I will get it. Detachment from money becomes so difficult when people look down at you and I'm not working in a passionate job so it becomes even more difficult. 

But I guess I'm obsessed with self improvement, and if by my love it means to burn through the eternal fires of hell 

I accept that too.

Edited July 8, 2016 by Elton

[Sultan]

Wonderful experience of people like you who make me more motivated to meditate