Recently Discovered My Socialconditioning

[Syy]

Realy crazy, this feelingnwhen your world falls apart and you discover things that aint true anylonger. I dig selfactualization.

Ive been thaught and i believed till today, that the Game everyone plays is real. I knew in the beginning that is is a Game, and i recently remembered it. My guess is that i adopted this believe throught Conditioning of the Mind that this Game is real. Therefor i couldnt play as well as others, because i was anxious in making decisions. Every single decision had auch importance that i was fearfull and didnt want to make any. So i gave up and handed my fate over to "the world". Became unconcious to gain Security, wich is also fake. I see that now. Its hard to admit that " they" want to form and bend me so that i behave how they want me to behave.Its so fucked up. I feel its the same with the Ego, that wants to take over in such subtile and sometimes so obvious ways that one doesnt realize it. I feel controlled, manipulated and abused. Why did i let them do something this fucked up with my Life. I feel guilty and ashamed but also happy that i can make a change now.

I hope you understand somehow what i tell and relate to it. Question for me, how to act on this. Maybe just knowing is enough.

[abrakamowse]

Just knowing is good to begin, but I would recommend to meditate. It really helps to calm your thoughts that are one of the main creators of the illusion of the "self".