Addicted To Judging People?

[khalifa]

I see myself analyzing the world quite often, I can't seem to be neutral on judging people. I always assign things to why a person behaves that way from being conditioned or so. I can't seem to just be neutral about it, I can accept some acts while sometimes i find myself revisiting a scenario of hey it didn't have to be that way. Why couldn't they be a little nicer it doesn't hurt them. Or if they speak in a certain way i'll try to guess their history, And then i move on deep thinking maybe it's just me overthinking I don't need their validation after all and i move on after i assign that thought or I don't need to over think about the person's history or to why they have and interact and have their choices be the way it is. But it still irks me on how i can't change the judging habit it's like an auto thing i have of being a typical human.

 

Edit: Hell it even happens on this forum as i read through posts sometimes too. (including other places on the net)

Family and So applies too.

Edited July 6, 2016 by khalifa

[Mal]

@khalifa

Dear Khalifa,

The reason you judge is because of your conditioned mind. It's broken and sees life as a fragmented object out there distinct to a subject in here.  It's an imaginary world that you have been indoctrinated into since birth by the cultivation of an inate skill called language. 

You imagine there is a you inside your head and that there is a world out there that you must co-operate and negotiate with in order to survive.  So you use judgement in order to navigate this imaginary fragmented world.

The reason judgement gets worse is through psychological and emotional wounding of the subject. This builds up over time and because humans have not been taught how to regulate their emotions properly the only outlet they have is to judge or blow up emotionally when they don't get their imaginary world confirmed by others.

This is also called the "game of black and white".  White wants to win at all costs and will try to triumph over black.  This is the insanity of the human race.  Most people are not even aware that this is a dream, and even people who do become interested in spirituality take spirituality and use it as yet another weapon in playing the game of black vs white.

 

[khalifa]

@Mal I'm aware of this although, I find it difficult to stop over analyzing or assigning things in life. Even meditation does not seem to cure assigning thoughts in life since i'm still playing the role of working/paying the bills everyday/month while having free time for side entertainment purposes or self development activities .

The only time i can see myself completely off the judgment may seem like if i actually turn or devote my life to be some sort of monk. Which my ego does not want to ever even consider since it wants more and more out of life.

Edited July 6, 2016 by khalifa

[Mal]

@khalifa

There is no point stopping judgement, or thinking.  It's easier to become present.

I don't even meditate now. 

I let whatever I want pass me by, then I'm not buying into the illusion.

I block out other peoples stories, because others are always attempting to sell us their story. 

Deprivation? Deprive yourself and deprive others of pinning their identity issues on you.  You have watched me fob off insanity on here, people trying to pull me back into their illusiory collective nonsense.  Just ignore it.  Use judgement as a tool to escape the collective ego. Ignore it. See it as their game of trying to get white to win over black. Their collective game of trying to be humble and pinning their dark side on others to maintain this game of fake humility.  This is how victims are created.  It cannot be sustained, integrate your blackness, reach for wholeness and then you will naturally stop judging everything because everything is ONE.  There is nothing to judge.

Edited July 6, 2016 by Mal

[khalifa]

@Mal

 

Hmm.. well said although since either way is neutral it's more like just the thought of knowing it's neutral and being more aware about it helps i guess.. But there is no way around blocking off life so i might as well continue some of the assignments and let go of emotional overthought as it all doesn't really matter heavily. It's actually quite hard to do so since having a dream is similar to a neurotic trait as we've assigned it as good. And if we can't seem to achieve it it'll automatically go as bad or wasted usually unless we pull of a scheme of it doesn't matter that much later.

 

I find myself contradicting whenever i went deeper into enlightenment thoughts and really counter productive since i keep saying, It doesn't matter since it's neutral and it's all in the mind. It's just there for cherry picking. But what we/I/Ego cherry picks  it's all the same in the end? The ego gets frustrated because it wants more, It needs to be important. It wants more noise more stimulation more distractions. It's never content with it's self.

 

[Mal]

You need transcendance experience to know for yourself that everything is OK.  Just labelling it as neutral doesn't work.  

 

[khalifa]

@Mal

 

transcendence experience as in enlightenment?

[Mal]

@khalifa Not exactly. 

"Enlightenment" is the final realization that there never was a person, that the individual "you" was an illusion.

That's a permanent thing. 

Awakening experience is what you need.  An awakening helps get the "me" out of the picture so that integration can begin to take place. It's been said that awakening is a process of integrating the shadow so that the game of black and white eventually runs out of steam and all there were left with is "this".

All the "me" can do is play this game of black vs white.  So when we exhaust the me of this game by integrating the poles of existence the me collapses because there are no more shadows to fight anymore.  

 

 

[khalifa]

@Mal

 

Got any sources to draw the me out of this?

Meditating still needs a lot of time to build up or perhaps I'm still on the beginning of the journey i have a lot to learn. I'm aware of the concept although i did not know they were different.

[Mal]

1 minute ago, khalifa said:

@Mal

 

Got any sources to draw the me out of this?

Meditating still needs a lot of time to build up or perhaps I'm still on the beginning of the journey i have a lot to learn. I'm aware of the concept although i did not know they were different.

Sure.  Follow Charlie2dogs, listen very carefully to what he says and you will have an awakening very soon.  Then you start making friends with your shadows.  

When the crabs come to pull you back it will be easier because you can clearly see what they are hiding in themselves.  They need a target, like giving you a jacket they don't want to wear because they hate it, so they try to make you wear their jacket and then attack it. 

But it's not a problem really.  It hurts more, but bothers you less because you know in the background that you are doing the right thing.  Eventually you will get to the point where you can see who's stuck in their heads and who isn't.  

This takes time and the support of people who know the score. Just fob off any crabs.

 

[khalifa]

@Mal

 

Aww was expecting a video channel i could binge through, (I thought i knew most people are not really self aware so it's normal to see the auto go auto)But i'll take a look at charlie's post on the forum. Thanks for the heads up will give it a try. If you have anything you'd like to suggest here or via pm i'm open to that. Thanks for caring.

Edited July 6, 2016 by khalifa

[Mal]

@khalifa

Go to Ayla journal "Mind Attacks After Initial Seeing" thread.  There is a lot of information there for you. 

Don't bother with meditation. I gave it up recently. Just become still and let your identity go, literally just let it go and witness what happens. 

Do it in a safe place, lying on the bed. All the emotions that you have been repressing that are causing your judgements will come to the surface, you will act them out because you will have become one with them.  Don't worry about it, you will be fine.  But you will notice that what you had been judging in another was something you stuffed down in order to keep your identity in tact.  Once the identity evaporates then all the feelings come up.  Thats when the peace comes. 

Edited July 6, 2016 by Mal

[Mal]

38 minutes ago, khalifa said:

@Mal

 

 (I thought i knew most people are not really self aware so it's normal to see the auto go auto)

For a moment, if you like, ditch the idea of becoming "aware". Actually, when you see what this process really is about, it's about becoming less aware.  Less "self conscious" and more automatic, spontaneous but at the oddly at the same time more 'in control'.

You could call this awareness, but it's not a kind of self consciousness that some talk about.  There is just more wholeness, and that means less self consciousness.  Only humans have this dis-ease of self consciousness.  Nothing else in nature has self awareness.

"Aware" suggests that we must become aware of something.  But the awareness that I'm speaking of in this instance is the glow of reclaimed energy, less bounded and contracted energy. Because we become identified with more of "what is" and less in ones head playing stories to uphold our illusiory self image, it feels like what was controlling us before has become less autonomous.  It can be said that the more wholeness and identifying with more of what is allows us more choice than we had as an ego.

 

[khalifa]

@Mal thank you for your time, i'll read up on it. although i wouldn't really like to ditch meditation as scientifically it has quite some benefits that i'm after but takes time to build up so it wouldn't be a bad idea to combine the best of both worlds would it? If i manage to even understand or practice the concept.

[Mal]

@khalifa

Maybe my choice of words was wrong..

You can make life a meditation. Just by letting go all the time. 

Some of us go to our special room and sit on our cushion to spend an hour or so "meditating".  Yes that's good, has some benefits and for sure don't give it up if you don't want to. 

But I've personally found I get better results by not the quality or length of time I'm sitting watching my breath, but its really about how many times I can catch myself drifting from the present moment during every day activities. And then noticing the feeling inside my body as this happens.  This way I'm able to get more insight of how I'm feeling all the time and observing the related story, rather than spending a chunk of the day trying to empty my head.  

Integrating the feelings and observing the story is what is important 

Edited July 6, 2016 by Mal