How confused are you?

[RestWithinTheHeart]

Hey, I'm basically wondering: to those of you who have been doing self actualization for 10 + years, have had multiple deep awakenings, seen yourself as God, and have integrated Love, Absolute Infinite Fractalness, Infinite Nothingness, all the good stuff -

How confused are you on a month to month basis? How often do you find yourself in a sort of existential void, where you lose touch with your Life Purpose, struggle with inaction, wonder if you're focusing on the right stuff and you're unable to stay connected to the Beauty of it all?

Is there a point where everything comes together and stays together, apart from ego backlash when you encounter new depth?
I love what I've found so far, and I know there's always more, but sometimes the repetativeness is just so damn boring.
I'm in the process of actualizing my Life Purpose, I know it's gonna be amazing, but every time I get into this really good groove working on LP, Self Trancendence, or both, I know that I can expect to lose touch with it later. I have a few Golden habits, but they are a double-edged sword. I love Life, but only sometimes.

[Javfly33]

I have lost all hope in the person. (LOL)

Nearly all of my energy is going towards trascendence atm. 

[RestWithinTheHeart]

@Javfly33 ye, haha, the person is lazy af, my top habit is watching videos while practicing guitar, it's the best way to make sure that I actually practice

[erik8lrl]

Keep doing the work and you will reach total clarity. You get more connected to everything the more conscious and awake you become.  There is a point. 

[traveler]

There is no you to become awake. There is no point. Everything is as it is, for no one. You have no control, you do not exist. You the person will never get to the end goal, it is an illusion. Everything is already what it is, there is only preference when there is position. What IS does not care what appears. Right now you are what you seek. If there is movement towards something, that is what is. If there is dissatisfaction or boredom appearing, that is what is, appearing as that, totally complete for no one. The person will have resistance to this message, because it doesn't fit into the person's story of what this is. Some will say that what I am talking about is spiritual bypassing or avoidance of god realization or whatever. What the person can't see is that its whole journey is an attempt to escape wholeness, or call it god if you like. Looking for God realization, whatever, whatever, etc. is an attempt to avoid the fact that you are totally hopeless. The person is not even recognized by wholeness, there is absolutely no seperation. There is no one outside of god or wholeness to know anything, it is wholeness for no one. It can not, not be complete, because there is not two.

[Nahm]

2 hours ago, RestWithinTheHeart said:

How confused are you on a month to month basis? How often do you find yourself in a sort of existential void, where you lose touch with your Life Purpose, struggle with inaction, wonder if you're focusing on the right stuff and you're unable to stay connected to the Beauty of it all?

The confusion is between subjectivity & objectivity, which proper utilization of a dreamboard eradicates. In understanding the relationship between thought & feeling, there is no more back & fourth of thought, and no more emotional rollercoaster. 

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Is there a point where everything comes together and stays together, apart from ego backlash when you encounter new depth?

There’s no ‘point’ which comes. The only time to inspect prior to the write offs, is always now. It’s a choice, often innocently indicative of misunderstanding & beliefs, which you create, from misinterpretation. In terms of life experience, all is always together, a perfect synchronistic magic. Clues abound. Wether or not the ‘lessons’ lending understanding are appreciated & inspected, to extract the juice of transcendence, is also a choice.

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I love what I've found so far, and I know there's always more, but sometimes the repetativeness is just so damn boring.

Dreamboarding inevitably uncovers more that you want to do, as well the inspiration, passion, & focus to do it, than you could do in ten lifetimes. You would quite literally forget what boredom is. 

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I'm in the process of actualizing my Life Purpose, I know it's gonna be amazing, but every time I get into this really good groove working on LP, Self Trancendence, or both, I know that I can expect to lose touch with it later. I have a few Golden habits, but they are a double-edged sword. I love Life, but only sometimes.

Reality is unconditional. Any conditions are only yours, in thought. (And such a clue is that they don’t feel good, to you)

[Javfly33]

54 minutes ago, traveler said:

There is no you to become awake. There is no point. Everything is as it is, for no one. You have no control, you do not exist. You the person will never get to the end goal, it is an illusion. Everything is already what it is, there is only preference when there is position. What IS does not care what appears. Right now you are what you seek. If there is movement towards something, that is what is. If there is dissatisfaction or boredom appearing, that is what is, appearing as that, totally complete for no one. The person will have resistance to this message, because it doesn't fit into the person's story of what this is. Some will say that what I am talking about is spiritual bypassing or avoidance of god realization or whatever. What the person can't see is that its whole journey is an attempt to escape wholeness, or call it god if you like. Looking for God realization, whatever, whatever, etc. is an attempt to avoid the fact that you are totally hopeless. The person is not even recognized by wholeness, there is absolutely no seperation. There is no one outside of god or wholeness to know anything, it is wholeness for no one. It can not, not be complete, because there is not two.

Omg i got emotional that was beautiful. There's no confusion...it's all one ❣️

[RestWithinTheHeart]

@Nahm  Thanks for the post, I'll contemplate the relationship between thought and feeling, though I suspect them to be one thing.

I read your post on dreamboarding and came up with this. I felt like deepening the love for the things that I'm most interested would be a good way to make them manifest in beautiful ways. Is this a sensible way to go about it?

Edited April 30, 2020 by RestWithinTheHeart

[blankisomeone]

Well, I guess the whole point of this work is getting closer to reality. If it makes me lose touch with it, I always assume there's something I'm doing wrong.

[Forestluv]

4 hours ago, RestWithinTheHeart said:

Is there a point where everything comes together and stays together

Ime, this is a very strong energetic orientation. . . .

There is a realization of “a point” that cannot be found in time and space.

What is it that always “stays together”? To realize this, one doesn’t need to read books or theorize. One doesn’t need to watch videos or go on a meditation retreat. One doesn’t need to travel to India and join an ashram. . . . One simply needs to be present and observe Here and Now. In doing so, that which always “stays together” will reveal itself. There is One constant. This is returning Home.

[Nahm]

@RestWithinTheHeart

A truck, gas, and keys are ultimately the same thing, but to get anywhere, it’s helpful to understand how they work together. Beyond that, just listen to the navigation app / gps.  That is a beautiful visual affirmation board, I love it &  I wouldn’t change a thing. It’s a powerful expression and practice of self love & discovery. 

A dreamboard is for anything and everything you want to experience in this lifetime. Traveling, relationships, sex, cars, planes, boats, careers, businesses, furniture, learning how cook, etc. Literally anything. Whatever you want. Use a dry erase board, ideally double sided, large & on wheels. Write everything you want on it. Be specific, and write in positive terms. 

Having established & expressed what you want on the board, you become more aware of it. It continues to unfold, so lots of things will come up, that you’ve never thought of or realized you want. On the board, you can now visually see it. It comes into focus from a higher vantage, more ‘bird’s eye view’, smaller pieces are readily seen together and new realizations arise. What you write does come to you, in the most ordinary ways, which is beyond mysterious.

Now when thoughts arise, they are relative, to what you want. What feels good to you, is what you want. What you want, is what feels good to you. People are known to call this “fun”, “unexplainable”, and often “exciting”, making life ”richer” and more “worthwhile”. Many even credit discovering actual “passion” in this way. The relationship between thought & feeling becomes much clearer. Thoughts are in alignment or discord with feeling, precisely as they are with what you want (which came from feeling / wanting). 

Thoughts in discord with feeling...let them go and choose a better feeling, true to you, thought. Inspect the arising thoughts which do not feel good to you, to uncover your belief behind it. The misunderstanding becomes understood.  Enjoy everything you want, coming.  Don’t worry or think too much about how it’s going to come, just let resistant thoughts go and uncover conditional limiting beliefs. You’ll soon realize feeling is navigation, guidance, and was the whole time. 

I’d also really consider doing Leo’s life purpose course, if you haven’t started it yet. 

[zeroISinfinity]

On scale from 0 to 10.Answer 647

Enlightenment 

 

[Aaron p]

Existential confusion and periodic loss of touch with reality is symptomatic of some kind of shadow work in my opinion. Of course this is exactly what a mystic experiences, but he experiences it in a much more beautiful way. I have experienced both. I'm very existentially confused often but I can feel a deeper layer of knowing beneath that confusion. 

If your experiencing this kind of shit with no "deeper bliss" beneath it...then I'd focus on consciousness work instead of life purpose. Who wants to have a life filled with amazing things that you cannot enjoy because of your mental health? Absolutely pointless. I'd rather enter a state of perpetual bliss haha

Edited May 1, 2020 by Aaron p

[Mulky]

I don't feel like I know or understand anything at all really.  I don't feel like I can actually do anything.  If i try to use my mind, it usually blanks out and cancels it out.  Like if i tried to sit and imagine something on purpose, it would turn into some randomness and then stop, or continue being random.  I don't feel like i can change anything, and I don't even really think I am anything, but yet I am not really enlightened because there is like no foundaition to anything at all but it doesn't feel comfortable.  There was a time earlier, when it did feel comfortable, for a few years, and peaceful, for the most part.  Whatever foundaition existed back then is gone now and I'm just waiting to see where I now land.. I guess.  I can't meaningfully remember any earlier state of mind/conciousness/whatever, its just like a vague pretend copy thing of it, but vary rarely I get like a whiff of an earlier state or time in my life and it feels real for a moment.  

I used to have ideas  and senses about unity/god harmony in a very real way but now  I no longer do, it's possible I just got used to it and it is just normal now but then again I have literally no way of knowing that.  It's also possible I feel just as peaceful as before and simply got used to it but again how could I ever know that.  I realize I am probably deceiving myself in some way almost all the time, which makes it harder to actually know anything about where I am on the path.  Thoughts and feelings sort of get intermingled and real subtle thought feeling things interplay with it all and so it starts to seem apparent that even on this very suble pre-word thought level self deception is happening, even on the pure feeling level.  So yes I am completely lost and just hoping for the best.

Let's see what else.. hehe.  I used to read a lot of books and the words would help propel me into a deep and or freeing experience but now when I read a book or something it's like it doesn't even penetrate my mind in any meangingful way, it's like a dead experience... usually.. almost always.  I have actually thought about starting an AA style support group for people on the path to help eachother through the difficulties on the path.  Not necessarily to help anyone get enlightened, but to be there for each other through all of the hard experiences, I guess this sort of does that but I am thinking about having meetings locally where I live :).  Anyway good luck all.

Edited May 1, 2020 by Mulky
more stuff was added

[Nightwise]

Confusion, at least at earlier stages in your development, is a very good sign. Stupid people will and can not be confused because they always think they are certain about stuff that has inherently no certainty.

To be confused does mean one thing: it means you are willing to question, or otherwise you are intelligent enough that the doubt will happen anyway. Questioning is absolutely necessary in the spiritual path. At a certain phase on the spiritual path it is absolutely true that the more deeply you question, the more fruits your spiritual seeking will eventually bear. But initially you will get very confused; At least if you're very attached to very much wanting to find any form of orientation in order to find some sense of certainty and direction.

Mediocre people eventually settle for some kind of sense of false certainty, some pretentious belief that you happen to know what the truth is. If you ask me, just based on my experience of life so far, there is not a single thing you can know for certain intellectually.

Even though there is intellectually not a single thing you can, in my opinion, be certain of, there is some kind of sense of certainty or at least a mode of being able to act decisively that will start arising that is simply based on your own personal insights and life experience. This is what I am finding more and more in my life right now. Certain modes of living, or certain questions that I used to have, have simply been exhausted. There are still many things which on an intellectual level I don't know for certain at all, but I just can not be asked to think about it or doubt it anymore, and I then will act in accordance to... action based on my personal life experience and insights. Even though those experiences, insights and interpretations of them all can be doubted, the energy for questioning them will at some point run out because you start seeing it as a futile mental wastage of effort.

You don't need to have certain beliefs or worldviews or even any form of orientation in order for you to start doing things and taking action again. You think you need to have certain structures of logic in order to be moved at all to do certain things, but what you will eventually find is that there is also a form of action that does not need any form of logic upon which the movement is based. At some point, action will find its orientation not in the mind with all its belief structures and logic, but from a source that is deeper (simply life experience), and perhaps a source that is higher too.

I suppose that's about the best I can explain it. You may indeed find yourself at some point in your life at a stage where you really don't have any orientation whatsoever, but as Adyashanti beautifully has said: "You only become frightened of falling through empty space if you're trying to find any point of reference you can orient yourself with so you know what's up and down, left or right. If you give up on your need to orient yourself, falling through empty space is super relaxing".

And if you go a little bit further down the road in your evolution of conscious awakening, you'll start to find that once again you indeed start to get orientation back. This orientation isn't so much of the mind, but rather this new orientation will come from the fact that the mind gets exhausted with all its questions, doubts and confusions, in because of sheer exhaustion the mind will be dropped, it will create space for a new foundation or mode of Being and navigating from which action will be derived to take its place.

[RestWithinTheHeart]

9 hours ago, Mulky said:

It's also possible I feel just as peaceful as before and simply got used to it but again how could I ever know that. 

Yeah, I totally agree with that sentiment. Like, I realise how different my way of living, and my approach to life has becom than from how things used to be. And I've forgotten how it felt to be in the anxty teen vibe. It's fucking great! But settling in to the new reality, where the good vibe becomes the new normal can be a bit decieving. 

I have no clue how much happier I am, because it's the new baseline

[Barna]

On 4/30/2020 at 7:24 PM, RestWithinTheHeart said:

Hey, I'm basically wondering: to those of you who have been doing self actualization for 10 + years, have had multiple deep awakenings, seen yourself as God, and have integrated Love, Absolute Infinite Fractalness, Infinite Nothingness, all the good stuff -

How confused are you on a month to month basis? How often do you find yourself in a sort of existential void, where you lose touch with your Life Purpose, struggle with inaction, wonder if you're focusing on the right stuff and you're unable to stay connected to the Beauty of it all?

Is there a point where everything comes together and stays together, apart from ego backlash when you encounter new depth?
I love what I've found so far, and I know there's always more, but sometimes the repetativeness is just so damn boring.
I'm in the process of actualizing my Life Purpose, I know it's gonna be amazing, but every time I get into this really good groove working on LP, Self Trancendence, or both, I know that I can expect to lose touch with it later. I have a few Golden habits, but they are a double-edged sword. I love Life, but only sometimes.

I feel personally offended!

It's not confusion. It's simply not knowing. And that's part of the process. The less beliefs we have about the future, the less we "know" about it. 

The end goal is to realize that we don't know anything, because only then can we be free of all our beliefs. And then we can be guided by something deeper than the cold mental logic that makes sharp distinctions between"good actions" and "bad actions".

[innerchild]

I had a very strong enlightenment experience regarding 'reality is just a persistent hallucination', everything has it's own limits and expiration until it's in a physical form..

 

Also, I could see myself in the past, I can admire, communicate with my past self. I can learn painful lessons through shadow work. To be honest with you, recently I found it's possible to conceive certain desirable results through psyche experiences.

 

Although, still I used to find myself in a paradox or dilemma. I'm vulnerable to losing hope onto nonduality and psyche abilities. I can delude myself or confuse the neuro-scientific paradigm about hallucination with the spiritual domain.

My mind used to play a lot of trickery to make me believe all these spiritual practices are pointless and mere placebo.

Yes, I know still it's my mind that spinning the wheel of multiple perceptions and viewpoints. But it's not me. Me is too far from the mind that processes sensations and thoughts all over one's lifetime..

So, by that way, I could easily surpass such dialogues and drama played by my mind aka projection of the conventional society!..