Ego Blocks Consciousness

[ill]

Hello

I've noticed that I unconsciously block myself from perceiving reality as it is. I mean, my self image is feeling in danger and it produces a kind of mental fog when forced to deal with unpleasant circumstances. For example when I feel nervous in a situation when i "shouldn't", I literally feel like my ego is in danger and pretends that this feeling doesn't exist. Moreover, I noticed that after that my self-esteem gets lower. Just like I knew that I'm lying to myself.  What can I do to overcome this barrier and start noticing everything as it is, not as my ego would like it to see?

Cheers

[vizual]

Keep watching that feeling, don't let it take you over. You are neither that feeling nor the ego, even it might feel so at times, especially during stressful times. The unpleasant circumstance is something the mind superimposes on reality, but it doesn't really exist in reality. Even something really tangible like physical pain doesn't necessarily has to lead to suffering, it is the mind that creates the suffering. 

There is unfortunately not a quick fix to overcoming all perceived unpleasant circumstances. Keep meditating and keep that calm, ever present awareness present in whatever situation may arrive in your experience. Even within that stressful feeling of unpleasantness, there is peace and love. Pretending your feeling of anxiety doesn't exist won't help you, you are only resisting reality this way. Even though the experience isn't really true, in your experience it does manifest. And every manifestation has to be fully accepted, or else there will be suffering, there's no way to get around it. At the end of the day, we all have to face the objects our minds are trying to hold on to so desperately. 

A helpful exercise to do is maybe to find out what internal belief system made you nervous in that specific kind of situation. When you know the belief that is causing you distress you can face it, so it eventually might absolve into reality. 

[ill]

20 hours ago, vizual said:

A helpful exercise to do is maybe to find out what internal belief system made you nervous in that specific kind of situation. When you know the belief that is causing you distress you can face it, so it eventually might absolve into reality. 

I think it might have to do with repressed parts of me - the Shadow. When there's a possibility of such part to be seen by others, I get nervous. It just hurts too much, I'm afraid to lose my false "self" because I'm afraid that my real one is not acceptable. This inner conflict makes me avoid reality in order to sustain the ego.

[Mal]

57 minutes ago, ill said:

I think it might have to do with repressed parts of me - the Shadow. When there's a possibility of such part to be seen by others, I get nervous. It just hurts too much, I'm afraid to lose my false "self" because I'm afraid that my real one is not acceptable. This inner conflict makes me avoid reality in order to sustain the ego.

That's right. The ego blocks the shadow from being assimilated.  You're going to have to throw away your beliefs about being a "good person" or whatever other stupid nonsense you're holding onto, and come to terms with the fact that this is not "your" life, it's just life as it is.  The main problem you have is labelling your experience.  As long as you continue with these labels you won't experience peace, you will just experience a false conceptual haze. 

Believe me, people won't treat you with the hostility you have towards your impulses at the moment.  The problem is you, it's not out there.  Occasionally you will be accosted by people who have not dealt with their own shadows, this is the classic "crabs in the bucket" syndrome - but continuing to stay rooted in "what is "will keep you on track.

Edited July 7, 2016 by Mal

[99th_monkey]

On 7/6/2016 at 4:15 AM, ill said:

Hello

I've noticed that I unconsciously block myself from perceiving reality as it is. I mean, my self image is feeling in danger and it produces a kind of mental fog when forced to deal with unpleasant circumstances. For example when I feel nervous in a situation when i "shouldn't", I literally feel like my ego is in danger and pretends that this feeling doesn't exist. Moreover, I noticed that after that my self-esteem gets lower. Just like I knew that I'm lying to myself.  What can I do to overcome this barrier and start noticing everything as it is, not as my ego would like it to see?

Cheers

drop the whole notion of "im blocking myself from perceiving reality" theres nothing else you can perceive. what your doing is identifying with an interpretation of your perceived reality. youre buying the thoughts that come up about "whatever" as being you, or yours. your interpretating  danger but you dont understand why youre interpretatating  danger. you believe that danger is real. 

YOU....BELIEVE "the danger" is REAL as opposed to not..... it....

hope that helps ")