Understanding Love

[Raquel]

Hi guys, 

I have been thinking about the concept of LOVE.

Some might say love is a projection that we make of ourselves in others..we mirror our internal world on others and that generates feelings, like love, towards them. This means we dont love others, we are in love with ourselfs. 

Some might say, we are all connected and love is what expresses our bind. 

Love and fear are all that guide us and if you choose love your life expandes. 

Ok my question: is love towards others real or a manifestation of our ego?  

This question arise while I was trying to help a friend dealing with a non corresponded love. 

Would like to read your opinions on this subject.

Thanks 

 

 

[Mal]

@Raquel

Hi Raquel,

There is only one kind of love that I know of. And it's not even love, but neediness.  It's the idea of chasing something elusive so I can feel better about myself and heal my apparent separation from life. 

It's an endless mission to get somebody to confirm by being, my individuality, some reflection of my worthiness as a person and somebody to spoil so I can hopefully fulfill their emptiness.

Thats what human love is. It's a complete fallacy.

[Nathalie]

@Raquel In my opinion is the word "love" so often misused that it almost needs a definition before speaking about it..

For me it's a state of no thinking, a state of beeing and of absolute acceptance of what is.. I don't know anybody who feels permanently so.. Maybe enlightened people..

Meanwhile you surely can experience it sometimes e.g. by watching at a baby or being aware of the beauty of the nature maybe also by music or other arts.. just the short moment before thinking.. just while you feel happy and one with it.. You know what I mean?

And so by a man or a woman too.. as long as you enjoy the person without wanting or expecting anything..

Sure it's not the "normal" vision, right?

But if you feel it like this, there's no place for an ego there..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3miuaOWsj8

[cetus]

 Love is the sweet nectar of existence....

[Salaam]

In my experience love is a very fragile, but very powerful and beautiful type of bond/connection (not all connections are loving).

It is alive in a way, in that it has a health, and the integrity of that health can be damaged and destroyed, or nurtured and developed.

Love as a bond, can express itself in many different flavors of feeling. So you have types of love, or different forms of love, AND different flavors or expressions of love. Again, one part is the different forms of love and the second part is the different expressions of love. Much like there are different shapes or forms of people and different expressions from those forms or shapes of people. Those two parts share an axis of inter-relation.

Love is not JUST a projection of inward feelings. While it is felt inside us, it can also be shared by two people who are both connecting and resonating expressions of love through that bond. Love can EXUDE from a person and be felt or recognized, even by people whom that love is not necessarily directed towards.

Also, the health of love is dependent upon a level of care from both people. For example, it's hard to feel love for someone if they are invalidating it by making the bond abusive rather than loving. Such a state, damages the trust that the bond of love needs.

Deep abiding love, seems to always contain at least five things. Those five things are Desire, Appreciation, Gratification, Gratitude, and Trust. When these 5 things are healthy and working together in synergy, we tend to naturally use words like "love". When they are missing, we still might have a bond with a person, but the deep love flavor gets hard to access.

The love I have for my Wife is deep and immense, like a bottomless ocean of glowing warmth. It's a huge shape inside me, that expresses in many different ways. Like the feeling that who I am right now does not exist without her in my life. I recognize that feeling, I am grateful and appreciative towards it's reality. It brings me a lot of gratification/pleasure to run my mind through all the different experiences that validate and affirm that belief. I feel more seen and recognized by her than by any other person on this planet as she does with me. I've shared with her all my most vulnerable sides and she has shown me over and over again that I can trust her with those sides (as she also feels with me). Not only does she protect them and treat them well, she shows me that they have personal meaning to her (we both do. I earn her love everyday and never take it for granted).

My Wife lives and abides by certain standards she has chosen, as we all do in one way or another, but she shows me everyday that caring for me, and holding that care deep inside her as something precious is a part of that standard. She embodies the most precious things in the world to me and I have risked and fought for her and that love in ways most people will never experience.

Yea... love is not just a well you drink from and feel. No, you dig that well with another, you protect it from being poisoned. You spend time around that well together. You share in deciding its growth and evolution. You celebrate it's changes together, as you also work together through it's challenges.

God I love, love

My wife and I are starting a radio show together next month and our first episode is about how to protect and nurture love.
 

Edited July 5, 2016 by Salaam

[Raquel]

@Salaam thank you for your words. 

Let us know the link to the podcast

[Salaam]

3 hours ago, Raquel said:

@Salaam thank you for your words. 

Let us know the link to the podcast

My pleasure and will do

It airs August 9th, but I'll put up a link as long as it doesn't violate any of the advertising rules on this forum.

[charlie2dogs]

20 hours ago, Raquel said:

Hi guys, 

I have been thinking about the concept of LOVE.

Some might say love is a projection that we make of ourselves in others..we mirror our internal world on others and that generates feelings, like love, towards them. This means we dont love others, we are in love with ourselfs. 

Some might say, we are all connected and love is what expresses our bind. 

Love and fear are all that guide us and if you choose love your life expandes. 

Ok my question: is love towards others real or a manifestation of our ego?  

This question arise while I was trying to help a friend dealing with a non corresponded love. 

Would like to read your opinions on this subject.

Thanks 

 

 

until one becomes self realized, love is a manifestation of ego, after self realization then one becomes love as a state of being, rather than performing acts of love that please the ego and others. 

[Galyna]

@charlie2dogs  absolutely agree, it is just another agenda...

[Salaam]

On 7/6/2016 at 5:22 AM, Raquel said:

@Salaam thank you for your words. 

Let us know the link to the podcast

Here you go. Hopefully, since you specifically asked for it, it doesn't violate the rules here.

The first show premiers next week and it's about nurturing and protecting love, even in the most stressful of times. How to build depth and vibrancy and what it really means to have a strong, abiding, and multi-faceted loving relationship.

#YinRadioTV
https://www.facebook.com/twinflameteam/

Subscribe and be notified when new episodes are available
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCK3MCat8RrPrNS0rky6x6Eg

Edited August 26, 2016 by Salaam

[Salaam]

2 hours ago, Wormon Blatburm said:

That's a little depressing isn't it

For real. It makes me sad when people are so hurt or disappointed by their relationships that they come to believe views like that.

[Frogfucius]

Real love is existence. It's the universe, reality, God, whatever you want to call it. It's appreciation of our existence, and accepting our oneness with reality. This is something the ego can never be able to grasp. All other forms of 'love' come from the ego and its sense of lack. It's not real love.

[Salaam]

1 hour ago, Frogfucius said:

Real love is existence. It's the universe, reality, God, whatever you want to call it. It's appreciation of our existence, and accepting our oneness with reality. This is something the ego can never be able to grasp. All other forms of 'love' come from the ego and its sense of lack. It's not real love.

That last line is a bold statement. Are you saying that as a view you hold or are you trying to state that as a universal truth? What kind of experience do you have with love and relationships? What level of intimacy have you built with another human being? 

The love I've experienced doesn't come from lack. It comes from recognition and enjoyment of seeing and discovering who this person is day in and day out. In both scarcity and abundance that love abides. It is not conditional upon her being with me, or abiding by any contracts or expectations.

Be careful ascribing authenticity to things you might not have ever experienced before my friend. It's a wide and mysterious world out there and what we think today, may very well change tomorrow.

 

50 minutes ago, Wormon Blatburm said:

I know right! It's just like people saying success is evil because they have never had success in the world

I agree man. That's why it's so important that we stay both humble and open-minded about things we've yet to experience. All too often we can let the pain of today shroud the hidden beauty and joy, that lies as a potential reality waiting on the wings of tomorrow.

[Lawrence]

On 7/5/2016 at 10:15 PM, Salaam said:

The love I have for my Wife is deep and immense, like a bottomless ocean of glowing warmth

I'm really happy for you! =)

[Lawrence]

On 7/6/2016 at 1:55 PM, charlie2dogs said:

until one becomes self realized, love is a manifestation of ego, after self realization then one becomes love as a state of being, rather than performing acts of love that please the ego and others. 

Spot on!! =)

[Empty]

The most powerful quote I heard of on love is the following.. 

" After all of this time, the sky never says to the sun I owe you. Look what a Love like that can do. It lights up the whole world"-Hafiz   

Edited August 26, 2016 by Muhammad

[Frogfucius]

19 minutes ago, Salaam said:

That last line is a bold statement. Are you saying that as a view you hold or are you trying to state that as a universal truth? What kind of experience do you have with love and relationships? What level of intimacy have you built with another human being? 

The love I've experienced doesn't come from lack. It comes from recognition and enjoyment of seeing and discovering who this person is day in and day out. In both scarcity and abundance that love abides. It is not conditional upon her being with me, or abiding by any contracts or expectations.

Be careful ascribing authenticity to things you might not have ever experienced before my friend. It's a wide and mysterious world out there and what we think today, may very well change tomorrow.

True love is realizing that everyone and everything is equal, for we are all the same reality.

The love you have for your spouse, your children, and your family is an egotistical love, because you associate these people with your sense of self. Sense of self is a separation from the reality of existence.

My personal experiences with my ego and its love for material forms in this world are irrelevant, and your questioning of it shows your defense of your ideologies. I never said you can't 'truly' love an intimate spouse, my friend. But recognize that they too are a changing , impermanent form, just like everything else in existence. Holding them in another type of esteem is a delusion of the mind.

[Salaam]

14 minutes ago, Frogfucius said:

True love is realizing that everyone and everything is equal, for we are all the same reality.

The love you have for your spouse, your children, and your family is an egotistical love, because you associate these people with your sense of self. Sense of self is a separation from the reality of existence.

My personal experiences with my ego and its love for material forms in this world are irrelevant, and your questioning of it shows your defense of your ideologies. I never said you can't 'truly' love an intimate spouse, my friend. But recognize that they too are a changing , impermanent form, just like everything else in existence. Holding them in another type of esteem is a delusion of the mind.

Ah... personally, I disagree with the conclusions and interpretations you've expressed above, but that's okay. I prefer diversity, connection, chemistry, and nuance over beliefs of Oneness. I'm not trying to persuade you differently by saying that, just sharing my view.
 

 

[Frogfucius]

1 minute ago, Salaam said:

Ah... personally, I disagree with the conclusions and interpretations you've expressed above, but that's okay. I prefer diversity, connection, chemistry, and nuance over beliefs of Oneness. I'm not trying to persuade you differently by saying that, just sharing my view.

It's cool, brother. I don't have anything against relationships one way or another. Your values are equally as valid as mine.

If we were to observe the universe scientifically, every single sub-atomic particle has an energetic force (what we call gravity) on every single other sub-atomic particle. That means your fingernail has a pull on billions of stars, in billions of galaxies. It's a stunning realization that everyone and everything in this universe are connected, as if we're part of one organic being. The elements that make up you and me were created from a supernova - a giant stat's explosion. Our lineage traces back to a giant star, and if we want to go back farther, just space and gas.

These are merely ideas and concepts that hold no truth or value, but I find the idea of oneness as beautiful. Loving you just as I would myself feels peaceful.

[30secs]

@Raquel

I remember Leo once said that genuine love is possible, try to imagine this if the "Lover" is an illusion and the "Thing Being Loved" is also an illusion then only pure love remains, fascinating right?