Spiritual Exploration

[Victor Mgazi]

Just had a moment of self inquiry in dream state. 

On 5/6/2020 at 0:58 PM, Victor Mgazi said:

Have nothing, want nothing, be nothing.

 

On 5/6/2020 at 0:58 PM, Victor Mgazi said:

The key is stillness. ‘Becoming’ still.

Had a glimpse of stillness. 

But what is It??? 

[Victor Mgazi]

Before the moment of self inquiry in the dream-state, I was in a different environment and it was daytime. I was washing cars at my home town, now I'm here in this wakeful-state, laying in bed around 06h50, writing it down. 

Is that really what's going on here? No. What is this?  

[Victor Mgazi]

To journal, or not to journal? 

There's no making sense of this, there's no making sense of anything. It's like.. it's all showcase, nothing really means anything, reality is just a theatre. 

Beyond this performance lies death itself. It's beautiful though, it's powerful, it's absolute freedom and within it.. life spawns. Infinity within Infinity, infinitely. But really, there's no making sense of it.

Just as much as I'm alive, I'm dying every moment. There is nothing but death, just as much as there is nothing but life. Creation and Destruction become lovers, there is no end.. and there never was a beginning. 

There's no making sense of this. Just as much as I'm typing this, I'm also dying, every letter is being typed by a different... Death itself is writing this, I am.. time, I am a moment, I am Now. Blink.. and I'm gone!

Should I keep journaling? Who is being asked this question? What is “journaling”? 

Or should I just die with every breath of life? Was there ever a choice, was there ever a life, was there ever a “I”?

You are Freedom itself, free to do and be anything. And it doesn't matter what you choose to do, journal or not journal.. It doesn't matter what you are, a moment of choosing or a moment of observing..    All that is is you, this singularity, you are ONCE and for ALL. 

There's no making sense of it. God has loved me for eternity, God loves me to infinity, and now.. God loves me to death. 

Goodbye ??????????????

[Victor Mgazi]

Laying still on my bed as I observed varying energy flow, posses and pass in consciousness.. I got in touch with the nature of the apparent self. 

Perception, energy and vibration. It seems as though these three appearances are what make up the individual self. As I lay on my bed, facing the ceiling, I observed the energy that flowed in consciousness. The body (perception) was still but thoughts and emotions (vibration) flooded the scene, but in my stillness and observation I managed not to get carried away by the tides of vibration. 

In that state, I started noticing spectrums of energy around perception, some parts of the body felt hot while other parts felt relatively warm and some cold. My at the very bottom of the top part of my leg was this heat sensation. I still don't know what had been happening and what exactly I was doing, but it felt good. To watch yourself rise and fall like that, it becomes as clear as daylight that the self is really just an appearance, a moment in consciousness.

Because I still don't know what I had been doing that night, it all just happened spontaneously and so I'll have to learn how to tune into that state or vibration in consciousness again. I enjoyed it, it wasn't like anything I had experienced before. My body felt light and perception became a little bit shaky, it was awesome. Something else I took from that experience is the knowledge that one is able to summon up any kind of energy, it's only a matter of tuning into the right vibration and matter of focus.

Perception, energy and vibration. These three things I find worth exploring as they appear essential in day to day experience.