How do I deal with my emotionally abusive and toxic mother ?

[Alfonsoo]

I’ll give you a little bit of context: I’m male, 19, divorced parents since very little (probably when I was 5). I stayed with my mother, my father disappeared form our lives (he still alive though). My mother she has Avery dominant personality but as in that kind of imposing personality that comes from lack of confidence, resulting in an abusive behavior. She is very explosive and gets angry impossibly easy. Always shouting and fighting with cashiers, employees, or really anyone who does something she doesn’t agree with. From conversations we’ve had about her childhoods and not so young past, she feels neglected by her parents and really felt out of control as my grandparents had a favorite child and it wasn’t her. She was a perfect example of a middle child. She has a cousin which my grandparent really cares for and I feel my mother gets very jealous, it is a very touchy subject. The struggle for acceptance, plus the divorce many other smaller problems made her have a really troubled and mistrusting personality. I feel like she lashes out and takes out this on people, specially me (because she knows she can’t fight to much with stranger cause they can fight back). She is extremely manipulating with me and always emotionally blackmailing me, at the same time she is overly overprotective and doesn’t trust me at all, even though I’ve been quite a good son (you’ve gonna have to trust me on this one) I know I’m no perfect son, but who is anyways. I consider my self on the more responsible spectrum of kids my age. For me this has resulted in a very insecure person. Through out the years (after I started to realize how my mothers way of rising me affected me) I started to seek help online (no personal coaching though) and I believe I did a pretty job of fixing my insecurities. Now I have a girlfriend and a couple of very close friends, many more that aren’t so close, I’m very healthy physically and mentally. I like studying subjects like spirituality, health, music, cooking, physics etc. (Basically I’m a healthy normal person now) however the abuse continues (and continues to get worse as she grows old and even more intolerant). And us trapped at home because of the COVID really took problems next level. I’m only looking forward to moving out for college to escape her. The main two reasons I want to study away is to get away from her and cause schools aren’t really that good here. And it’s sat thinking about how I need to distance my self to keep her from hurting me. I don’t think there’s been a single day we didn’t fight (this is serious). Ind I’m fed up with let her step over me but I need help figuring out a way to manage this situation maturely and effectively. Now, you’ve gotta consider I’m still financially attached to her (things work differently in my country regarding this, kids rely on parents for money until much later) and I know first things first I have to solve that to cut her off, but meanwhile what can I do?

very important, there never was physical abuse from either parent . Maybe there was I’m my mind is blocking it if but I doubt it. To my knowledge there was none.