My perception has changed

[WhatAWondefulWorld]

Yes yes, this is happening to me just today. It's kinda disorienting. 

[Galyna]

@WhatAWondefulWorld We can look through the door slit, but maybe we should open the whole door Scary and exciting at the same time. 

 

[GodDesireOnlyLove]

your picture evolved !!!

be the force with you

[Galyna]

3 minutes ago, GodDesireOnlyLove said:

your picture evolved !!!

be the force with you

Still black and white  because I have not found the balance yet. As soon as I reach the golden middle, I promise, I will change my pic and it'll be colorful. Meanwhile, it reflects my mental state, full of opposites, extremes, either black or white. One minute I am all loving, another - I am the devil. This is so funny because I am this conductor, it is so clear. The good news is that I do not identify with these emotions any more. 

[Galyna]

@GodDesireOnlyLove Nah, this video does not resonate with me, sorry.

[Galyna]

@GodDesireOnlyLove In fact, it makes me feel sick by just looking at this cover, please remove it from this thread. Thank you.

P.S. Gosh, this crazy media would do anything to provoke any kind of emotions. Their pathos is horrible.  

[traveler]

1 hour ago, Galyna said:

See, I do not know how to explain this to you...

If I literary live like other people all the time, it would drive me insane. I hate inner dialog and loud thoughts.  Maybe five years ago or something, thoughts started to appear in a very nice and comfortable way. They were not showering my mind, but rather appeared out of nowhere with some intervals. Ofc, when I am stressed, I would drive myself insane by analyzing situation, speaking with myself (inner dialog) but thanks God it is not very often. I would not say my thoughts are loud. Sometimes, my thoughts are not words at all, but rather images or a film about past memories, or sensations. It depends on my mental state. If I am peaceful, then I am blank. When angry or stressed, then this inner hygiene is in dis-balance. 

Yeah over analysing is a pretty common byproduct of picking up lots of non dual concepts I would imagine. I too am prone to over analysing when uncomfortable thought patterns and physical sensations show up. The overanalysing/trying to get rid of it, is what actually fuels it/makes it "real". If the thoughts doesn't attach to a personal story, it will flow right through like every other thought. But patterns of thought/deep held  beliefs are tricky, as they seemingly attach to something unconscious/something that doesn't allow them to enter, and therefore doesn't allow them to flow through.

When I say loud it can mean all forms of thought. Images and past memories can be loud to, in that they cloud/limit perception. When thought totally ceases, it is quite surprising/shocking. You realize non of your stories are real and all there is left is this unknown field of sensation appearing. 

[Galyna]

4 minutes ago, traveler said:

 When thought totally ceases, it is quite surprising/shocking.

I had this experience during meditation, and couple of times when I was jogging on my treadmill at home. Both times it excited me so much that I was thrown back to the normal state of my mind. 

[Galyna]

37 minutes ago, Galyna said:

@GodDesireOnlyLove Nah, this video does not resonate with me, sorry.

Thank you so much for your understanding....

[Galyna]

3 hours ago, remember said:

in the jar? like a scoby?

What is scoby? A mushroom in the jar?

 

"A SCOBY, short for symbiotic culture or community of bacteria and yeast, is a syntrophic mixed culture of bacteria and yeast used in production of several traditional foods and beverages. Wikipedia"

 

[allislove]

Quote

What is scoby? A mushroom in the jar?

Yes! It feels to me that a small dose of shrooms would definitely help you ???

[Galyna]

@dimitri  

 

 

Edited April 26, 2020 by Galyna

[Fkdel]

Things get worse before it get better  At least for me, sit with the sensation you feel in your chest, and eventualy it will go away 

Probably you are going trough a period were stuff you didn't now was there, traumatic energy coming to the surface. Believe me, it will get so better

 

[Galyna]

@Fkdel Thank you for the nice words. I feel it myself. Something eventually will come out from this. The way I feel and behave is unusual for me.

Edited April 27, 2020 by Galyna

[Galyna]

14 hours ago, remember said:

@Galyna i guess i didn’t see the video – i assume the jar was a reference to that. at the moment i am thinking of buying a scoby, for kombucha production, thinking about which jar makes sense at the same time, so that’s what i was referring to. a scoby is like a pet or so    not only the name is cute i can literally imagine it as a creature from another dimension, it is a pretty difficult pet it feeds on tea and suggar and its growing and reproducing itself, and then you have to find people who adopt one of your little scobys. i want either a homegrown pink one or i buy a transparent/whitish one from a professional supplier because some of the homegrown ones don’t look so yummy  they look a little beige/muddy sometimes – which probably is because they got so much black tea.

 

I had this scoby mushroom when I was a little girl. We did not eat it, but somehow it had to help my wish come true (that is what my friends told me ). Sounds crazy but when you are a little kid, was watch it growing, it was such a fun. 

I know some people drank that water from the scoby mushroom. I am a bit resilient to this idea, but hey....I think you should have one for fun if you want to.

[Carl-Richard]

Do you feel like you're dying?

[Galyna]

@Carl-Richard  I would say disoriented, why?

[Carl-Richard]

@Galyna Idk. I've had similar symptoms, but it all culminated with me feeling like I was going away and never comming back. Not a pleasant thing when you don't want it

[The observer]

@Galyna Have faith. Trust in the process. You're growing and becoming stronger. Self-doubt will only hinder and delay the inevitable good that's on the other side of fear and resistance. Embrace your current state and deeply dive into it. Have you considered that maybe there never was an orientation? That nobody is ever really oriented? That all of us are just taking our chances? Someone who seems oriented does not actually know the future. Knowledge is irrelevant. What matters most here is faith, which is what some people have and other people lack.

Edited April 28, 2020 by The observer

[Galyna]

@The observer thank you for the nice supporting words ?