No support/acknowledgement from father/others

[Matt23]

Ugh!!!

How do I deal with this issue?

I've often had the experience with my father of feeling like he's just completely unaware of me and not paying me any attention.

Like he probably loves me and stuff, but whenever I feel passionate about something and bring it up with him, i often feel like he doesn't give a shit and just ignores me and doesn't give me attention or acknowledgement.

I feel like he's always preoccupied in his own world and never game me attention!

I feel so hurt and angry and sad.

I feel like a piece of shit.

I feel put down, not important, like a piece of shit.

My heart is burning with rage and hurt and pain.

I often have this experience of telling others things I'm passionate about, but then feeling like i'm not good enough and if they aren't into it and just getting side-tracked by their own agenda and interests and me putting myself and my stuff on the back-seat.  Like I'm just a shitty person who's not good enough to ahve passions and be in the world with others since they think i'm shit and won't let me ahve my own stuff be out there.. (this last sentence  got a little rambly, --> it was mostly stream of consciousness writing).

I just feel like if I sense others don't like or are interested in my stuff, and disregard it, I feel so let down and then just get so down on my passions and like they are saying "you're passions and interests are shit and not worth talking about.  Let's talk about my passions!" --> and then we talk about their passions.  

I feel often with others little or no support with my passions and interests when I talk about them.  I feel so brought down by that.

Help, any advice welcomed.

Edited April 25, 2020 by Matt23

[PepperBlossoms]

I'm sorry that you are feeling like that.  I have tried talking with my father with our relationship and he blew it off and starting lecturing me on things.

You are important, you are good enough, and you are not a piece of shit.   (or we are all shits in our own ways)

Some dad's just don't know how to communicate with their kids or don't try or don't realize how bad they are making their child feel.

Communicate more to your friends how you are feeling and that you feel let down when they don't want to talk about your passions when you are willing to talk about there's.  Maybe they don't realize what kind of impact they are having.

It sounds like you aren't the shit but your friends are being the shit.

I hope your day gets better!

 

[Shark]

Hi  Matt23,

Thank you for sharing. Do you think you could practice acceptance and self-love? In two ways:

• External (It's okay for my dad to feel this way/treat me this way. I fully love him regardless.)
• Internal (It's okay to be rejected/treated badly. It's okay to be angry and sad. I fully love myself regardless.)

Really see if you can accept all aspects of your situation.

• If not, you can see what's in the way and really look at it -- is it really true?

You are eternally and unconditionally loved. It only gets covered up by human dynamics.

You have the capacity to love fully and unconditionally all aspects of reality.

[Elton]

@Matt23 first of all when you have a vision for yourself about your passions it's your responsibility not any one's else responsibility to convert that dream into reality.

Second of all is it really true? that father's must not be engrossed in their own world ? And pay attention to you ? 

Be careful of your judgements as when you point a finger to others, three fingers are pointing back at you.

[Matt23]

Thanks all.

Yeah, I'm sensing a dual nature to this (though, it could obviously be way more...or less...dunno)    1. self-love    2. not judgming others or having "shoulds"

 

Appreciate the concerns and advice