Question about spiral dynamics

[electroBeam]

I'm trying to map my urges and wants on the spiral dynamics scale. Is this urge a stage orange urge? It seems achievement oriented. But not sure. I tried to be as authentic and as raw as possible with what I feel. Could you tell me what stage this urge maps to(for my self development, I want to sort of put this urge in the big picture of things)

I've got a vision for how to revolutionise the world. I feel a deep sense to be authentic and honest with carrying out this vision. I'm willing to be seen as a crack pot, crazy, insane. I'm willing to let go of all needs to please people and get their approval and fully surrender to my vision. 

I don't have a desire to really relieve suffering or make the world a better place. Rather I have a desire to express, or work towards carrying out an expression of what I think is True. Again even if that makes me crazy. Fuck people who think I'm crazy, I'll fucken bust through it all. Complete loyalty to my vision, as loyal as the actor in Braveheart was to Scotland(or ireland? cant remember).

My main motivations for fulfilling this vision is really for pushing myself: I will go through lots of rejection, hardship by trying to carry this out, yet I'll also have an amazing, wild adventure. It will be like being indiana jones. My other motivation is really because I believe this vision really reflects Truth. It really emanates truth for me. 

The details of the vision isn't super important, but I really believe that the world's perception of AI and what the singularity means is limiting and bullshit. I really fucken believe that the scientific community's materialist views of AI are limiting its development, and that an AI revolution will come from integrating psychedelic and meditative insights into AI. That means going off the rails massively and proposing deeply radical stuff in the AI community. Lots of rejection, being called a crack pot, being taken off committies and being mocked. But I'm fucken going for it. I'm really motivated to do this because I think its true. Its really my only motivation. I don't know this will relieve suffering or make the world a better place. But what I think it will do, is expand consciousness. It will expand what we think is possible, and it will align us with truth moreso. It will express authentic desire to express truth, and in this case expressing it means building expansive new ways to make AI.

This vision isn't superficial or just an idea. Its something I will definitely try. This is Not the first time I've had a vision and sacrificed for it. I dropped out of college back in 2017 to start my own company with a very supportive cofounder/partner in china, my parents kicked me out due to their disgust, I was homeless, got a part time job because couldn't get investors for my/our company, company started going really well, then it stopped going well and I flew back from china with news of the company failing, while on the flight back my wife divorced me. When I got off the plane and headed to work, they fired me and lost my part time job(at the start of this year), got through it and now its going 10x as well as it was a year ago and its getting much better with 4 employees rocking with it. What kept me going is knowing that this company is who I authentically and and want to express to the world. And I'm not deterred from getting crazier and putting more balls on the line for a bigger vision, a vision more crazy, and more aligned with who I am, what the truth is.

 

Try mapping this, any insights appreciated.

Edited April 25, 2020 by electroBeam

[fridjonk]

My one advice would be. 

Write a letter to your future self. Since you seem very optimistic and open to this idea now, tough times will come where you will question it all. Whether it's worth it, whether you can do it, etc. Reading the message when you're in a rut will help you keep going, even when it gets extremely tough, and it will. 

You seem achievement-oriented in the right way and not in the success and money-wise way, which orange would be. You are coming from a good place where you want to make the world a better place, that could be taken as either green, yellow, or turquoise. 

Do you feel like you have to make the world a better place because it isn't already perfect? If not then it's not green. 

Do you feel like you want to help humanity out of humility and compassion? Then that would be yellow. 

Do you feel like you want to help everyone because you see yourself in everyone and everything, and feel it's your responsibility to better your creation of reality, as it is your own? That would be turquoise. 

[Forestluv]

I would be careful in adopting a “maverick” identity. Of course there is resistance in innovation and development. Yet a maverick attitude of me against everyone else interferes with attracting and working with others. 

[electroBeam]

7 hours ago, Serotoninluv said:

I would be careful in adopting a “maverick” identity. Of course there is resistance in innovation and development. Yet a maverick attitude of me against everyone else interferes with attracting and working with others. 

Do you think its foolish to create your own research organisation, rather than try and work at a university?

I'm in a position where the former would actually be easier than the latter, yet its half maverick as that research lab would likely research things which are not mainstream.

[Parththakkar12]

17 hours ago, electroBeam said:

My main motivations for fulfilling this vision is really for pushing myself: I will go through lots of rejection, hardship by trying to carry this out, yet I'll also have an amazing, wild adventure. It will be like being indiana jones. My other motivation is really because I believe this vision really reflects Truth. It really emanates truth for me. 

Looks like Stage Orange to me! I've been there and I know what it's like. Some of the most productive years of my life. Learned lots of new skills till I was full of knowledge to the gills. It's all about growth for growth's sake. There can be a lot of mental creativity too, where you're coming up with lots of brilliant new ideas to solve technical problems that have never been solved before! Pushing your comfort zone, being adventurous and aiming high is all very healthy Stage Orange.

We tend to make the mistake of thinking that Life Purpose happens at Green or above, but really it can happen at Blue and above. The concept of life purpose, i.e. contributing something to the community is first conceptualized of at Blue. Stage Orange life purpose would look like starting a big tech company, being a cutting edge scientist, being innovative in science/technology fields, creating infrastructure that solves material problems of under-developed parts of the world, etc.

Edited April 26, 2020 by Parththakkar12

[GodDesireOnlyLove]

If you got monney just buy 200μ LSD seeing so much greatness wasted bother me a lot believe it or not.

https://www.google.com/search?q=Steve+jobs+lsd&oq=Steve+jobs+lsd&aqs=chrome..69i57.3341j0j7&client=ms-android-xiaomi-rev2&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8

Taking LSD was a profound experience, one of the most important things in my life. LSD shows you that there’s another side to the coin, and you can’t remember it when it wears off, but you know it. It reinforced my sense of what was important—creating great things instead of making money, putting things back into the stream of history and of human consciousness as much as I could.

 

 

Edited April 26, 2020 by GodDesireOnlyLove