Consentual non-manogomy advice needed

[Gauds55]

Hey everyone new to this forum.

The girlfriend and I had started venturing from manogomy to consentual non-manogomy. We have been pretty much together for almost 2 years now, both in our 20's and very much in love on a very deep level of connection with trust and openness with a healthy consist sex life.

For the past however many years I've always had an interest in the whole partner sharing thing but burried it away as society categorizes manogomy to be the only morally right choice for relationships. In the past we had experimented testing the waters with another male joining us for a night and it was a bit nerve racking for both of us but nothing bad came of it.

Almost a year later and the topic came up again (on my behalf). My partner had decided to go along with it. So we found the guy who was the first one and discussed it all and decided I'd drop her off to his house for awhile. When i got home afterwards I felt completely fine with it and didn't feel any insecurities or forms of betrayal. Crazy to think but I enjoyed allowing it all to happen and felt 100% trust.

We have lately decided that the me being manogomous and her being listed as I guess consentual non manogomous fits well with trust, communication and reassurance of love for one another.

Has anyone else been in this type of arrangement and felt like it's opened up their love and communication with the other half?

Would love to hear back on any ideas, suggestions and feedback and how people have dealt with any possible jealousy.

[Chumbimba]

Damn bro the balls on you. I COULD NEVER EVER EVER WILLINGLY DROP MY GIRLFRIEND OFF AT ANOTHER DUDES HOUSE TO GET DICKED DOWN. If it works for you though... cool

[Gauds55]

Thanks lol

[IJB063]

@Gauds55

Curious, why don’t you want to be in a monogamous relationship?

 

[Gauds55]

Because we're only human and just pieces of old star dust if you get hypothetical. I found opening up creates less bumps and more understanding therefor brings 2 people closer than most.

[Consept]

1 hour ago, modmyth said:

@Gauds55  Oh, it seems like you're into the nondegrading version of that? I heard that's called the stag/ vixen dynamic now.

I've never jumped the gun with this one, but I've had a lot of thoughts about it, and have had lot of talks as well. I've usually been very upfront about my own sexual tendencies, among them, I tend to have a wandering eye and a wandering brain (except in the cases where I am married to my work, for whatever reason, then not so much).

I'm also open to the reverse as well, like making jokes with the semi-serious intent of testing for a reaction. Like hey, how do you feel about being "borrowed" or pimped out? Also, I get the occasional offer from a woman, usually a dominant woman, where lending out her husband/ spouse is clearly her thing. Those situations are usually a sort of gynocracy though, haha.

I guess the dynamic varies greatly.

 

Just curious, why is this the non-degrading way?

[universe]

Interesting. I see your point. Can you tell a bit about her perspective? Seems like you kind of push her into being with other men.

[Gauds55]

I wouldnt say I've been pushy, i just expressed an interest and allowed her to have input on it. She's been very supportive and understanding along with admitting since the first time it's sparked curiosity in the back of her mind since. Plus being intimate has taken a new level of being the same type of adult films we share an interest in. I havn't been overboard about it or treated it like an obsession but see it as the cards are on the table and we both take it as it comes. She's been very comforting with asking how I feel and a lot of reassurance to make sure I'm alright. We both have the view of if it doesn't end up being something we both want long term we will be understanding with each other and considerate. Know it may seem like dangerous territory for most people but I think the main key to happiness is just being open with high communication.

[universe]

21 minutes ago, Keyhole said:

@Gauds55 When two people sleep together, they share aspects of themselves energetically.  You create a karmic cord through sex.  It's really not a good idea to sleep around with a lot of people for this reason.

This is not my experience. I think it may be very dependent on what energy the other person has and what energy you have. Its true you share energy but you share energy just by talking as well.

[Roy]

Now that's a healthy relationship, good on you.

[universe]

8 hours ago, Keyhole said:

When you share your body with another person, you tie.
Make sure the sex is energetically clean, loving and that you don't tie with riffraff.
Their energy, their ancestral energy - everything, comes together to make another human being.  Even if that isn't your intent.
During sex, you put yourself into an unboundaried state of consciousness - it is not the same thing as speaking to another person.  You're literally inside of one another.  You merge souls.

I think it has more to do with your own intention when going into sex. And how conscious you are about them.

Unboundaried states of consciousness can happen outside of sex as well. There is no difference between riffraff and a buddha.

Im not saying you are wrong, if that is how your last experiences with sex where than you are totally right and correct. Being cautious about sharing energy is good advice. Also be mindful about how your thoughts and the story they create at any given time affect your energy.

[h inandout]

@Gauds55 How are you feeling now?