Limbo phase

[28 cm unbuffed]

I am in the so-called "limbo phase" in my life. I'm torn between two worlds inside me. 

One of them - self-development, spirituality, becoming enlightened, and helping people.

The second one, my shadow - becoming a rapper, looking great, having tons of money, and having sex with beautiful girls.

I have no idea how I can connect these. Artistic and creative side and wise, practical, analytical side of me. Left and right hemisphere of brain. 

How to go about this stage of life, how to stay relaxed, let go, let it all grow by itself in my head, yet - get clear goals about my future and what the fuck do I want from my life.

The struggle is real.

[Tristan12]

First of all, realize that the self-development/spirituality part of you will lead to a lot more happiness, and the looking great/having money part of you is all ego, and that stuff will never make you happy, it just seems like it will.

I think you should try and find out where your ego motivations are coming from. If you're into high consciousness things like spirituality and enlightenment but you are still so drawn to this other hedonistic stuff, odds are that this part of you just wants this stuff so you can feel better about yourself, because you're insecure and have self-esteem issues (which there is nothing wrong with and I totally understand). In that case you should work on those, and help yourself get real love and validation from yourself, at your core, so you no longer crave it from external sources (which will never get you real self-love anyways).

At that point your self-esteem and general level of consciousness will be higher, you will start to move out of spiral dynamics stage orange and farther into green, and now it will be way easier for you to pursue higher consciousness things.

I'd suggest taking Leo's life purpose course. I took it a few months ago and I loved it. it shows you exactly how to find your deepest passions and values, and then use them to help the world by making a career out of it. Its combining creativity with higher consciousness, spiritual values.

The most important thing is to know that the part of you that wants lots of money and sex will never make you happy. Know that pursuing higher consciousness is the right thing to do, so make sure you work towards that. Find the things that you're really passionate about and that you really love deep down and then base your life on that.

[Preety_India]

 

You are getting attracted to those things because social media makes it look like that, and the obvious agenda is to make money. How else will people be interested in these celebrities if they weren't made to look perfect. Actually it's all fake and illusion and bullshit. Having so much money does not make a person necessarily happy. You won't know for sure if they are really happy or struggling or if they even want their lives to be that way. Is that the reason why so many celebrities turn to drugs, rehab, therapists and helpers. It just looks easy. Because it supposed to look like that. Even if a celebrity has a bad day, they still have to smile for cameras, if they start acting vulnerable and tell the truth, they will lose fans. Because most people want a perfect image. You're less likely to follow a person who you begin to see as a failure or see yourself as better than him

 These things are also temporary. They make you feel good for some time and then you get bored or not want it anymore. Even sick of it. These are materialistic pleasures, there's nothing wrong with enjoying them, but they are not long lasting and mostly an illusion. They are just a distraction from the real path. That's why some of these celebrities really end up in a horrible place especially when their success is gone because once it's over, they don't know what to rely on anymore. They never built that inner sanctum, that inner foundation,because they're so involved in the materialistic gratification. They got blinded by it and they never thought about spiritual growth so once those things stop to exist their life is just over, their life was just a facade and when it's over they struggle to keep it together. 

With spirituality you're living an authentic life, you are looking for long term happiness, you're finding deeper happiness because such happiness does not rely on fame, money or social image. So the person is happy when he doesn't have anything and there's nothing to lose. Their happiness is not based on temporary things. You're better off learning and developing a spiritual basis for your happiness. You don't need to help everyone. Don't consider spirituality as an obligation to help others. You are helping yourself more than others and that is already enough. Whatever way you help others is just an extension of your spirituality to others, but you don't have to think like you owe something to others. Once you feel spiritually more aware and advanced, then these other things like hot careers and money will automatically begin to look like an illusion and not worth giving your life too. 

[28 cm unbuffed]

I feel like creating financial freedom, getting a motorcycle and travel the world, as Sadhguru did.

[28 cm unbuffed]

And look for a fucking meaning of life, because right now, I don't see any

[Tristan12]

14 minutes ago, 28 cm unbuffed said:

And look for a fucking meaning of life, because right now, I don't see any

 

[bejapuskas]

9 hours ago, 28 cm unbuffed said:

The second one, my shadow - becoming a rapper, looking great, having tons of money, and having sex with beautiful girls.

Are you genuinely enjoying this aspect of your life, is it something that makes you energetic?

[28 cm unbuffed]

@bejapuskas

I have heavily narcissistic personality, I am just not sure how much of that shit is just psychopathic shit that still needs healing and how much of that is authentic. Need for validation, approval, attention, self-esteem issues, etc.

[Tristan12]

15 minutes ago, 28 cm unbuffed said:

@28 cm unbuffed All of that shit is neurosis that needs healing. Nobody is authentically narcissistic at their core. 

 

[John Iverson]

16 hours ago, 28 cm unbuffed said:

I am in the so-called "limbo phase" in my life. I'm torn between two worlds inside me. 

One of them - self-development, spirituality, becoming enlightened, and helping people.

The second one, my shadow - becoming a rapper, looking great, having tons of money, and having sex with beautiful girls.

I have no idea how I can connect these. Artistic and creative side and wise, practical, analytical side of me. Left and right hemisphere of brain. 

How to go about this stage of life, how to stay relaxed, let go, let it all grow by itself in my head, yet - get clear goals about my future and what the fuck do I want from my life.

The struggle is real.

Step back and be in solitude for a while, it will be release, just atleast for a while you need to be silent, sit and let everything release ... and the right action come.. it is naturally.. 

[bejapuskas]

@28 cm unbuffed  I understand your worries, but I think you shouldn't worry about what is narcissism and what isn't, this is a duality just like any other, you could be exploring it to infinity and creating it bigger and bigger... Instead, just try to see what feels good now  Whether it is „narcissistic shit“ or „selfless shit“ doesn't matter, it can give you a clue, but you gotta figure it out. I trust you are „good“ at your core, you got this!

[28 cm unbuffed]

@bejapuskas

we all are thank you for your kind words

[bejapuskas]

@28 cm unbuffed  I feel for you man, stuggling with this myself sometimes, this is what seems to work.

[Zanoni]

On 2020-04-24 at 3:48 PM, 28 cm unbuffed said:

I am in the so-called "limbo phase" in my life. I'm torn between two worlds inside me. 

One of them - self-development, spirituality, becoming enlightened, and helping people.

The second one, my shadow - becoming a rapper, looking great, having tons of money, and having sex with beautiful girls.

The struggle is real.

This seems to be the fight between the lower and the higher like many spiritual traditions have talked about.

If you could read the hidden meaning of the book Dr jekyll and Mr Hyde you will see that it is a struggle that every human Soul has to face between the rational and carnal principles, just hidding behind the term "fictional". 

As the individuated Ray of the logos can only gravitate toward one direction, either spirit or matter. You are either becoming your Godself or Animalself, there is no place for both.