Losing all emotional memory

[OmShanti69]

Hello everyone and thanks for having me here. This is my first post!

I have been noticing a strange side effect as a result of my spiritual practices which I sometimes find upsetting. When I think back to the past or even look at pictures and videos from the best holidays and experiences of my life - I can not recall or feel any emotion. I know that I had an awesome time and I remember that I felt many beautiful and complex emotions which moved me to tears of joy but I just cannot relive or recall them. It is like the emotional channel has been erased from my memory completely and everything else is perfectly intact. Has anyone else here experienced anything similar? I can't find any cases or information about it elsewhere online.

[Nahm]

Feeling is, and thus will not be found in “a past”, in a thought. Emotional mastery is a full circle which dissolves the ‘emotional master’. 

[OmShanti69]

18 hours ago, Nahm said:

Feeling is, and thus will not be found in “a past”, in a thought. Emotional mastery is a full circle which dissolves the ‘emotional master’. 

Yeah, I can see that all memory and emotion actually take place now and the past is only more thought but I just have no idea how I can't emotionally relive the past right now like I used to be able to. I had a mental breakdown of sorts about it last night because it may be a sign of worse to come. Other parts of my memory may start failing making it impossible to function in the relative world.

[Nahm]

Let it go. You’re creating the worrying. Feeling is not actually of a past, it’s a thought which resonates with feeling / now, feeling which is always present. The feeling you’re believing is the outcome of thinking about the past, isn’t. It’s abundantly, readily available, always, now. The resistance, is in letting the past go, not in any actual potential of losing the feeling, because the past isn’t actual, though thought implies it is. 

[Superfluo]

I'm experiencing something like that, but I'm healing from traumas. I've not recovered fully yet. I suspect it could be a root chakra issue. Check out info about the role of that chakra and how to heal it, both energetically and psychologically. Energetically, the best technique I found is visualizing the chakra being flooded by light/love/acceptance/God. Psychologically the best techniques I found are Inner Child Work, Parts Work (Gestalt), Somatic Experiencing.

[Superfluo]

@OmShanti69

I experimented a bit.

How much aware are you of your body? I noticed that I'm more disconnected from my lower body than I used to think. I feel like my awareness throughout the day is focused on the upper half of the body (from chest to head) as a form of blockage that prevents me from being overwhelmed.

It's like my mind prevents me from perceiving the lower half of body keeping all my energies in the upper chakras. I feel like my lower is foggy, and I can clearly sense a feeling of energy being held up, at the level of the chest/throat. Like my mind rejects my lower half. It's like I have a white blanket of "life"/energy only in my upper chakras, leaving my body numb, nebulous, detatched, inferior.

So I decided to bring total surrender to the lower, and I learned that my mind prevents me from doing it all time because if I do I'd be flooded with feelings/repressed emotions/traumas. In fact if I do it, I can perceive my body in a more clean, lucid way, and I feel more alive, more down to earth, more in touch with who I am.

And memories are linked more to emotions than to thoughts.