bejapuskas

How are you weird?

31 posts in this topic

Hey guys, I was scrolling youtube and this video's title made me click on it and watch it:

Sometimes I wonder how many people consider themselves to be weird... It's something very hard to define (just like any other duality), yet it's something that inspires many of us.

Just an announcement - I am not saying you should start acting like a narcissist, seek approval and be attached to your weirdness, that certainly is a trap, but I think opening up in an unselfish way and being honest is one of the things that can help you along the path.

I was thinking that making this thread would lead to some of us building a better connection on this forum, as we don't really know ourselves that much, although we write messages and try to help each other, or criticize each other. Lately, I've been staying up late in order to „interview“ people when they are at their most „existentialist“ - thinking about their lives when nobody disturbs them at night. It's crazy what kind of new things you can learn about the world in this way.

I will start by sharing observations of my own - Weirdness is something that can bring you tons of approval, basically, I have been getting the largest amount of approval since I stopped hiding my weirdness. I understand that some of you might be afraid of sharing this, because maybe you live in less developed countries or you don't trust anyone or maybe you are afraid that people might report you and lock you down on a psychiatric ward because of your interests in mysticism. You can see this in Leo, he doesn't really care about anyone's opinion on his teaching that much (which I don't want to advocate for) but he is certainly receiving a lot of love and support. I know some of you out there think you are the only ones in your city interested in spirituality - you are probably wrong about that, in fact, Enlightened beings might live like directly opposite of your house.

Another thing is - openness, honesty and trustworthiness resonate with people like really a lot. My friendships have improved so much since the time I stopped hiding in the shadows. It is insane how many thing you would think are totally unacceptable are actually very much accepted by many people. (Whatever that means for you!)

You can usually get away with more than you think you can. One thing I like doing is not thinking about something I want to do would be weird, like asking that weirdo in the corner why he is dating that extraordinary girl or asking that artist, whose music you like, about their gender preferences, as you might not be quite sure about that when you first look at them etc... That also applies to other stuff, like maybe you would like to learn some exotic language which doesn't have that many resources online, so you can basically ask strangers who you think speak that language in the streets and become friends with them or find university professors who teach that language and just casually start a conversation with them. All that is very possible.

Your life will probably become more interesting, amusing and also intriguing. It might seem like you fucked up at times, but you will love that in a way. When you start thinking you've got it all figured out, life will throw more obstalces under your feet just like that.

I might remember more things as (if) this thread develops beyond this. Please, share your stories! :) (and don't mistake them for the Truth, while accepting them lovingly)

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How am I weird? Ooooh boy... how much time do you got?

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@bejapuskas  

You wanna know how I'm weird?

Ok I'll tell you

When I was born, my dick was like 3 feet 

So it was basically a medical issue

So the doctors had to cut of extra

Thats why I got a small dick

But genetically I got a big dick gene

So if they didn't cut it I would have a supper big dick

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@IJB063  Good for you they did that, 0,5 feet is enough to embarass yourself in front of a class right.

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How am i weird ?

I sometime act out my thought, if you observe me thinking through a hinden camera, you would see me waving my hands around, mumbling.

I'm have a strong urge to touch someone else, you can count the amount of hugs i got with your fingers

I'm extremely picky when it come to food, something like fish makes me want to vomit.

I thought both male and female have penis

I find the male genital desirable, but not the male body (i'm male)

I have a relatively large butt, oposed to my rather slim body

I cried while reading hentai because it unlocked some emotional baggages

After that, i decided to never fap to porn ever again, but rather to explore my body

I practice smiling infront of mirrors because i smiled so infrequently i struggle to do so

I am into guro, don't search it up

I experienced infinite love while i was in hospital recoverng from my suicide attemp, brought me to tear

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Still am and was a asexual and will probably never have a partner.

Why? 

Because I have a subcouscious belief that i have my twin flame in a spaceship that visits and signals to me with it from time to time in the sky. And that is why I stay single. Cause we will meet someday as we made a agreement before birth. 

And thank God I am not taking my mind seriously, haha. 

 

 


“ In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert's mind there are few. ”
― Shunryu Suzuki

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5 hours ago, IJB063 said:

@bejapuskas  

You wanna know how I'm weird?

Ok I'll tell you

When I was born, my dick was like 3 feet 

So it was basically a medical issue

So the doctors had to cut of extra

Thats why I got a small dick

But genetically I got a big dick gene

So if they didn't cut it I would have a supper big dick

???


All of your life you have been told that God created you. God come now to tell you this:  You are creating God❤️

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I have a huge interest in dinosaurs, dragons, monsters, and phantom beasts. There's the word dragon even in my signature. They hold a special place in my life. 

Don't know if fascination with huge creatures is considered weird. 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

..

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@IJB063  lol

5 hours ago, VerballyHazardous said:

How am i weird ?

I sometime act out my thought, if you observe me thinking through a hinden camera, you would see me waving my hands around, mumbling.

I'm have a strong urge to touch someone else, you can count the amount of hugs i got with your fingers

I'm extremely picky when it come to food, something like fish makes me want to vomit.

I thought both male and female have penis

I find the male genital desirable, but not the male body (i'm male)

I have a relatively large butt, oposed to my rather slim body

I cried while reading hentai because it unlocked some emotional baggages

After that, i decided to never fap to porn ever again, but rather to explore my body

I practice smiling infront of mirrors because i smiled so infrequently i struggle to do so

I am into guro, don't search it up

I experienced infinite love while i was in hospital recoverng from my suicide attemp, brought me to tear

@VerballyHazardous  Ohhhh I also have this urge to touch people... Did you have it also before you realized Love? I am just curious... (I didn't) How was your awakening into Love, how did it change you? Did it help with the suicidal thoughts at all?

I am not judging anything you have written, I just don't want to get this thread banned by mods, so I should write this: If you feel like you might regret something you'd written here later in life, don't write it!! :) 

Actually my 15 year old class mate thought kissing can make you pregnant so don't worry, you aren't the only person who has weird beliefs about sexuality.

Why were you not smiling?

4 hours ago, Zanoni said:

Still am and was a asexual and will probably never have a partner.

Why? 

Because I have a subcouscious belief that i have my twin flame in a spaceship that visits and signals to me with it from time to time in the sky. And that is why I stay single. Cause we will meet someday as we made a agreement before birth. 

And thank God I am not taking my mind seriously, haha. 

@Zanoni  So are you or are you not? xD Asexuality is interesting, it's just kind of unfortunate when you fall in love with somebody who is... How does it feel? What would you say to the people who do fall in love with asexuals?

@Hardik  hilarious right

@modmyth  you made me google that thing x))) I didn't want to do it at first, but nothing that horrible, I guess that's because I've watched way too much anime... good questions as well!

@Preety_India  I had this when I was very little too :) I guess it is not so weird in young kids, I wanted to become an archeologist even, but maybe it is when you are in your teens/twenties... Idk, who is to say... I remember myself sitting on my chair, watching the cartoon Ice Age and copying the prehistoric animals, do you also do that? What does your signature look like? I am curious x) 

 

Edited by bejapuskas

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Just one thing I haven't done yet but am planning to do is go to gentlemen's restrooms with my female-born transgender friend who looks like a guy and acts like a guy. I wanna see if anyone notices or no. 

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@bejapuskas

I accidentally read it as "ladies restrooms." xD

 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

..

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@Preety_India Wth xD I wouldn't get away with that, unless I would somehow charm all the ladies lol jk. The friend told me, that they sometimes yell at him and force him to leave the ladies' although he hasn't undergone the surgery yet... He is kind of freaky when he is there I can imagine, but it is also sad, because girls don't have it as easy as guys in this sense. 

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1 hour ago, modmyth said:

xD Relatable. Basically, since I became acutely self-aware at the age of 6 or 7? Like where do you even start with that one? 

@modmyth  What do you mean by self-aware?

 

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I think this video fits this thread nicely, interesting perspective. Feel free to share world-view changing videos you like.

 

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6 hours ago, modmyth said:

Well, that first one is interesting. Have you ever figured out why you started crying exactly?

Looked it up, no regrets. I gravitate naturally in that direct with some of my artistic work. At leat in principle, maybe not what's exactly shown in the genre typically.

 

I think the hentai showed me that i didn't love my body enough (the character was being belittled by her size), so the whole crying thing is just me saying sorry to myself. That also lead to me losing interest in 99℅ of porn, i am officially immune to bobs and vegenes.

Regarding guro, i see it as a sexual fetish. Don't go to gurochan, you'd definitely regret it this time (this is not me using reverse psychology, please consider this for your own well being, the entire website is a bad trip)

6 hours ago, bejapuskas said:

@IJB063 

@VerballyHazardous  Ohhhh I also have this urge to touch people... Did you have it also before you realized Love? I am just curious... (I didn't) How was your awakening into Love, how did it change you? Did it help with the suicidal thoughts at all?

I am not judging anything you have written, I just don't want to get this thread banned by mods, so I should write this: If you feel like you might regret something you'd written here later in life, don't write it!! :) 

Why were you not smiling?

@Zanoni

@Hardik 

@modmyth  

@Preety_India  

 

My realization of love made me drop a lot of my judgements toward myself, and that include my "weirdnesses", so no regrets. Depression seemlessly go out of my life ever since, i still experience depressing/suicidal thoughts but that's just me cleansing myself of emotional baggages. My need to touch people is stronger but also tamer after that "awakening", plz cuddle :3

I didn't smile because i was taught that not smiling is cool and macho. Now i know why i was so disfunctional.

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