Cognitive Distortions: All-or-Nothing Thinking

[Nak Khid]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_distortion#All-or-nothing_thinking

Cognitive distortion

 

All-or-Nothing Thinking

This is also referred to as
“Splitting,"
“Black-and-White Thinking," and
"Polarized Thinking."

Someone with the All-or-Nothing Thinking distortion looks at life in black and white categories.  Either they are a success or a failure; either they are good or bad; there is no in-between. Because there is always someone who is willing to criticize, this tends to collapse into a tendency for polarized people to view themselves as a total failure. Polarized thinkers have difficulty with the notion of being ‘good enough’ or a partial success.

Example (from The Feeling Good Handbook): A girl eats a spoonful of ice cream. She thinks she is a complete failure for breaking her diet. She becomes so depressed that she ends up eating the whole quart of ice cream.

This example captures the polarized nature of this distortion--the person believes they are totally inadequate if they fall short of perfection. In order to combat this distortion, Burns suggests thinking of the world in terms of shades of gray. Rather than viewing herself as a complete failure for eating a spoonful of ice cream, the girl in the example could still recognize her overall effort to diet as at least a partial success.

This distortion is commonly found in perfectionists

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All-or-nothing thinking has many different faces, but at it’s core it is a self-sabotaging mindset.
If you’re waiting for the right time and motivation, one of two things happen:
You never cross the starting line. You keep waiting for the right time to show up, but it never does.
You get caught in the start and stop loop. You finally get a boost of motivation. BUT, the minute things get hectic or don’t feel perfect any more, you slam on the brakes.

The problem with all-or-nothing thinking is that it is a trap. One that research shows us has strong ties to:

Anxiety,
Depression,
Low self-esteem,
Self-criticism,

In depression, exaggerated all-or-nothing thinking can form a self-reinforcing cycle: these thoughts might be called emotional amplifiers because, as they go around and around, they become more intense.

Typical all-or-nothing thoughts:

My efforts are either a success or they are an abject failure

Other people are either all good or all bad.

I am either all good or all bad.

If you're not with us, you're against us

If I can’t give this 100% of my time and attention, then it’s not going to work.

I am completely overwhelmed, I need to stop until I have more time. 

If I can’t be perfect, why bother?

Now is not a good time. There’s too much happening. I’m waiting for the “perfect” time to start. 

 

I have never been successful. 

 Everyone is against me. 

All-or-nothing thinking often involves using absolute terms, such as never or ever.
In order to overcome all-or-nothing thinking, it is important to avoid thinking in negative, absolute terms.

All-or-nothing thinking is problematic in many ways. It’s limiting and “creates extreme and impossible expectations.” It requires achieving the positive part of each thought (e.g., being successful, smart, leading a great life) with absolute perfection. Because that’s unattainable, people settle on the other option: the negative. As a result, people view themselves and their experiences negatively, which often leads to depression, anxiety, low motivation and a sinking self-esteem

Use the word “and,” instead of “or.”

Thorn shared this example: Instead of “I’m a good person or a bad person,” consider “I’m a good person and a bad person.” That is, “I have a lot of great qualities, and I do a lot of good things, and sometimes I make mistakes and poor decisions.”

Instead of “I had a great week or a terrible week,” consider, “I had some wonderful things happen this week and some things that were difficult.”To break free from of the all-or-nothing mindset, it’s key to understand the connection between Thoughts, Emotions, and Actions.

• Thoughts have an impact on the emotions you feel and the actions you take,
• Emotions affect your thoughts and actions, and 
• Actions influence your thoughts and emotions.

• 7 steps to change all-or-nothing thinking. 
• Learn to spot all-or-nothing thinking.
• Describe the situation. 
• Capture the stories you tell.
• Pinpoint the emotions your story triggers.
• Describe the result of your thoughts and emotions.
• Challenge your initial thought.
• Choose a new thought.