Spiritual Review and Progress

[Jai]

Sep 12

+ Spiritual practice: Good morning session. Settled nicely into meditation.

+ Attitude of service: Looking to be helpful to a friend who visited.

+ Life habits: pretty healthy day overall.

+ Mental and emotional states: Good here. Improvement from yesterday. Back to a place of optimism and feeling connected.

Overall: Solid day. Kept busy and enjoyed a day off. Felt like I'm back on the right track.

[Jai]

Sep 13

+ Spiritual practice: Really strong meditation and prayer session with a friend. Was cool to do breathwork, meditation, and a prayer session together. Double the force of it

+ Attitude of service: Good today. Outward energy. Looking to be helpful. Found small ways to be considerate.

+ Life habits: Strong day. Really good cold shower. Really good day for exercise. I gain quality enjoyment from good things.

+ Mental and emotional states: Really strong. Basically spent the whole day in positivity, except for a brief visit from worry in the afternoon. But just got back into good habits. I don't want to worry much about work. All it is is an opportunity for service so not much to worry about. I want to keep unplugging during the weekend and keep doing my best to stay away from the anxiety and worry.

Overall: Great day today. Hung out with my friend who is doing well in life. He's also a spiritual person so it feels good to know other people walking this path. Really felt good and connected today. Perfect way to raise the energy for this week. I want to bring this all in to this week and set a high standard. That's really the goal. Last week I struggled with lower energy than normal. I still had a decent week but didn't feel the same level of connection. I want my connection to stay high.

[Jai]

Sep 14

+ Spiritual practice: Really good morning session. Really feeling oriented with a good spiritual podcast. Morning session starts it all. Really felt well connected this morning. Also maintained a pretty good God focus during the day. I want to keep an awareness and an orientation toward God's will.

+ Attitude of service: Good overall. Made an emphasis to bring good outward energy and to be helpful at work.

+ Life habits: Really good. Had good energy and motivation today. Want to carry this through all week.

+ Mental and emotional states. Actually pretty good overall but was also tested. I got a little discouraged at work. The truth is the work never ends. That's why it's work. There's always more to do every week. So I was a little down by this, just because I don't have a whole lot of expertise. I recognized this and still had good actions all day. And I countered it pretty well. I guess that's the real win. Not being overwhelmed by it and just accepting it, things like that are going to happen at work.

- Frustration at work. Was a little frustrated with a coworker. All my fault here. Nothing to be frustrated about. I think it has to do with not being able to answer a whole lot of questions. So I feel frustrated because I don't have answers. Need to keep a watchful eye out for this. i would like to avoid falling into negative emotion like this and having it affect me.

Overall: A really solid day with all things. Good habits, good orientation, good attitudes. Was faced with some adversity, felt a little dip but reacted well. Recognized my fault in being frustrated but I want to keep improving. So just carry this over into tomorrow the best I can.

[Jai]

Sep 15 

+ Spiritual practice: good but drowsy during my morning meditation. Good effort overall.

/ Attitude of service: Good, but a little bothered that I'm not more knowledgeable at work. I fell into a little inner turmoil. Became a little worried about what others think/stress. This lessened my effectiveness. Part of it was mental, i was more focused on myself and my own problems and I didn't have a really strong outward energy.

+ Life habits: Good. Really healthy. Lots of discipline. Got to keep it up.

+ Mental and emotional states: This was good. I really countered the adversity well. Was very watchful and noticed the changes. This was tough to do so I can get some credit there. I had a little dip today and felt the stress a little more, but I still did well overall.

/ Today I was again a little bothered and frustrated at work. It's a reflection that i fell a little into worry, doubt, fear, etc. It came forth in some interactions with coworkers. I'd really like to improve this here and not have this be a habit. When helping others I have to forget other tasks.

Overall: Good day with actions even though I didn't feel super energized. I'd did put forth good effort and did have a pretty good reaction to adversity. So I want to keep that up and really bring the same effort tomorrow. I want to improve my optimism and faith and not worry about work. Have faith that things will get done and bring a good attitude toward helping others.

 

[Jai]

morning journal session

Today I want to stay positive. Yesterday I wasn't exactly negative but I sunk a little into worry about work and if things will get done. Was also worried about what other people think since I couldn't really be helpful in certain situations just becasue either I didn't know an answer or becasue it wasn't really in my area. The problem is this hindered me a little. Yesterday I had good habits, good actions, even recognized the mental and emotional adversity and did a pretty good job of countering it. So overall there was a lot of progress.

Today I'm hoping to keep up all the good habits and even feel positive throughout the day. When I feel connected I'm definitely of more help to others. The recent development is feeling frustrated at times with coworkers. When this happens it's not really anything other people do. It's because I'm in a state of worry about things and then that displays itself with frustration. So that is the strategy for today.

The other thing I would like to do is to have trust and patience. I don't want to worry about work and the future. I've done a good job of avoiding this thus far. For the most part I've really improved my faith. So that is also a goal for today.

Over the past almost 5 months I've had a really strong spiritual practice. So I've grown a lot here. it's been the centerpeice of everything really and the top priority. I want to keep this and the good habits up. Today, I had some mental energy trying to talk me out of all the good habits. I don't want to give in to that. I want to keep a strong practice. Even if I feel sometimes tired by this I would like to keep it up and know that most days I feel really energized by these good habits and the spiritual practice i have/

[Jai]

Sep 16

+ Spiritual practice: Good morning session. My chanting is inconsistent tho. Need to figure out a way to work this in.

+ Attitude of service: Good outward energy today. Not stuck inner torment. Good outward energy.

+ Life habits: Good. Didn't want to get out of bed at 4:15am. I did anyway and had good morning habits. I'm really living heatlhy.

+ Mental and emotional states: Better here. Was on the positive side of things today. Kept it together in the face of adversity. Not too much adversity today, but sometimes if I'm having an off day I can fall into worry. I've settled in to work and I want to keep the positivity up.

+ Orientation toward others: I've had a lot of imporvement here so it's time to note it. I'm not as critical of others as I was before. Good progress here. I"m noticing good things and potential in others. This feels a lot better. So I want to keep this up.

Overall: Not too much negative to report. Solid day overall. Working a lot and I think this is just life now. There is no end. No long vacations or part time schedule. It's just a lot of work and routine and got to enjoy life when I can. Good news is that I have a lot of healthy habits and lifestyle things that are fun. Probably need a little more excitement from time to time but I can work toward that. Other thing is that I can't get distracted and discouraged by work. This is just life now. I got to accept it and meet these circumstances. I normally like time off but I got to fix my finances and rely on God to do the best I can in this situation.

[Jai]

Sep 17

+ Spiritual practice: Good morning session. I love having this built into my day as a top priority.

+ Attitude of service: Good desire to be helpful. Was able to have decent outward energy even though it was kind of a tough day.

+ Life habits: Good. Got up early and faced the cold. Ran outside in a t shirt. Took a cold shower. Something about facing the cold brings good strength and discipline. Other habits good also.

/ Mental and emotional states: I did pretty good but also fell into a little fear and worry. Work is definitely demanding and it will be difficult for some time. Things just aren't going to go smoothly. Today I didn't maintain a strong energy all day. I fell into some worry and just feeling overwhelmed. But I did recognize it and did counter it by relying on God. Plus tomorrow is Friday so just have to survive tomorrow.

Overall: i can say I moved forward today. I had good effort. Good habits, a good attitude. I just felt a little worried/stressed for part of the day. Tomorrow I want to keep up with the good things. Tough days will happen from time to time. I also just have to expect adversity at work. There is no way around it. I'm still learning the job and just have to keep moving forward a little everyday.

[Jai]

Sep 18

+ Spiritual practice: I had a good session this morning. Prior to meditation did an alternative WHM technique. That was good to mix it up. Good morning session overall.

+ Attitude of service: Good at work. Really good outward energy. Really good effort toward being helpful to others. So I want to keep this up. Never really lost an outward focus.

+ Life habits: Good. I took a little extra sleep this morning because I was tired. Really good decision becasue I had good energy and vitality all day. Also backed off of the run and bodyweight exercises. Still strong habits overall.

+ Mental and emotional states: REally good. It's too bad everyday can't be this strong. Really positive and focused. Maybe it's a friday thing. Anyway I finished the week strong. Was optimistic and nothing got to me. So I want to keep this up. On tougher days it's almost like I can't take some of the doubts seriosuly. I want to get better at just brushing them off. I know with how consistent I've been that most my days are good overall, and I usually feel pretty connected. The point is that I want to really develop a way to deflect doubt, worry, fear, negativity, etc. Even on an off day I'm never far off from a good day. So that's what I need to remind myself. The off days are really just a test. On those days I want to recommit to my goals and just stick with it.

Overall: Great day all around. A lot to be proud of today.

[Jai]

Sep 19

+ Spiritual practice: Met up with a friend and had a meditation session. Went well. Also did a prayer session.

+ Attitude of service: pretty good today. Was helpful in some ways. Good outward energy.

/ Life habits: Okay, but didn't eat clean. Kinda feel it also from that. Noramlly have great discipline there.

+ Mental and emotional states: Good. Was positive and optimistic. Felt pretty connected throughout the day.

Overall: Good day all around. Was helpful to a friend, tried to be helpful in general. Also felt pretty connected.

[Jai]

Sep 20

+ Spiritual practice: Good. Typical weekend intensity you could say. Not as robust as during the week but still present. Going to do a second meditation session now. Have lost consistency with chanting though. I want to find a way to work it back in.

+ Attitude of service: Great example here today. I went in the grocery store and there were no carts. So I walked outside and grabbed one, on my way back in I saw a guy go in and turn around looking for a cart. I gave him mine. He was surprised and said really? and i said no big deal, because there was another one not too far away. Later in the store he saw me again and thanked me and said that that wasn't common and most people don't do that. I said something like we're all on the same team, no worries. This is exactly the attitude i want and what I want to be doing. I want to see opportunities like this and be on my toes and be helpful to others. I felt really good after, way better than if I would've just ignored the guy and went in with the cart myself. I need to keep training and reorienting myself toward service and being helpful. Today was a really nice example. Most days there aren't too many opportunities to be helpful like that. At work it's just the normal being helpful. Not too many clear opportunities like that in the world so I'm glad I was ready.

+ Life habits: Good. Good habits overall. Slower intensity because it's a weekned but didn't fall into any bad habits. I'm on a good retention streak. today is day 9. I want to ride this out some. This level of sexual energy is basically what i have to deal with if I want to stay on retention. It's just dealing with a high level sexual energy and not making excuses/justifications to release. A lot of it is just maintaining committment in a few key moments. I want to get used to dealing iwth this high level energy and master it. So I want to see how I can keep this streak going.

+ Mental and emotional states: good. never fell into negativity, fear, worry, doubt, regret, etc. Good focus overall and good orientation toward the world. I want to keep this up this week. The real challenge is on an off day. Just not wavering and keeping faith and trust in God. On the bad days i probably have to be a bit stoic. Really just not let a bad day affect me and not go to the thoughts of regret over leaving my last job and worry about if I'm on the right path.

Overall: Really solid day all around. Probably one of the better Sunday's i've had. Usually sunday I can feel somewhat anxious about the work week. But today I was pretty connected all day. That's the way I want to have it. Really enjoy my weekends and not get consumed with work. Also felt good to see my sister this weekend, hang out with both sponsees, go to the temple and meditate, get in my goal for hours on my computer course. So solid week and gonna carry that in to tomorrow.

[Jai]

Sep 21

+ Spiritual practice: Great today. Did a morning chanting session and still got to work early. Downloading an audio of the chants, hope I can get it to work on my phone. Listened to a good spiritual podcast. Meditation and prayer was strong. So this was really strong today. Felt connected for most of the day. I'm definitely inviting god into my life and it's having a cumulative affect. I want to keep riding this out.

+ Attitude of service: volunteered to help out at my home group. Good outward energy all day. Trying to be helpful at work. I definitely have good orientation and I want to keep it like this. Also turned in my parking pass for work so I can save $12 

+ Life habits: Also strong. Really good efforts and habits. Bad habits are disappearing.

+ Mental and emotional states: Really strong. Hit a small dip after lunch, just got a little sleepy and I noticed the dip in energy also affected my outlook. But really positive and connected today. This is the type of mental and emotional strength I want. Keep building toward days like this.

+ Overall: Really solid day. This is what I strive for. Feeling connected and feeling like I'm making progress toward God's ideal for me. So overall that was great. Just want to keep after it tomorrow. I know adversity will come and not everyday will be like today. The point is if I maintain a solid practice then an off day is just temporary and I'm always close to another strong day.

[Jai]

Sep 22

+ Spiritual practice: Good today. Chanted again in the morning. Definitely a little rusty. I want to start listening to an audio of it so i can internalize it more. Couldn't download it on my phone. Might make a ghetto recording so I can do it.

+ Attitude of service: Good outward energy. Not overly stuck in self.

+ Life habits: Good here. Overall good habits.

- Distraction/off at work: Finished the day strong but was distracted early on. Not overly stressed, just distracted. Not the same focus and drive I'm used to. So tomorrow I want a clearer picture of things and to move forward here. Really want to have quality effort at work.

/ Mental and emotional states: Good except for distraction mentioned already. Plus fell a little in to doubt. Not too much but a little.

Overall: Good day. Not as energized as yesterday but I'm still moving forward everyday. Some room for improvement but still a solid effort. So tomorrow I want to improve.

[Jai]

Morning journal session

Going to journal some before work. Yesterday I had a challenging day. I didn't have my normal level of focus. Today I want to have a strong day. I'm putting in good effort with my habits and spiritual practice. There are always going to be tough days. So far I've done good with having consistent effort and not going into a tailspin over an off day. Right now what I can control is my effort today. So i want to keep my composure, work hard and keep focus. I also don't want to fall into worry doubt or fear. Those things can unplug my spiritual connection quickly.

Also I have to be content with day at a time progress. That's what i've been doing. Each day I'm moving forward. In a life and spiritual sense but also with work. I'm learning more every day and I can't be upset that I don't know everything yet. It can be overwhelming but I want to keep progressing. 

The theme I've been contemplating and trying to live is just meeting the circumstances with God behind me. It's like these are the circumstances I have to meet. I can't complain about the circumstances I have to adapt by growing spiritually. That's the challenge.

So today I want to do my best and practice acceptance. I want to stay positive about life and understand that i can adapt to life's challenges. Right now things can be difficult at times but I've been consistently been able to handle any situation. I just have to settle in and really do my best over 2 years and then see where I stand. That's a lot of time to grow and i want to just keep doing my best.

[Jai]

Sep 23

+ Spiritual practice: Good job this morning. Fitting chanting in right away after meditation. Still need to find a way to record it and have it on my phone. Felt connected during the day also. Was able to meet the circumstances of the day, maintain God's presence. I had a great bike ride after work also. Really felt like I'm on the right path. I'm getting more and more evidence that things are going in the right direction, just need to keep investing in God

+ Attitude of service: Good here, but not optimal. I had some moments of frustration today where I wasn't as eager to help. Maybe feeling a bit overwhelmed. I want to be genuinely excited about helping others and go after the opportunity.

+ Life habits: Good. Staying strong. Get an early start and I do some difficult stuff. Face difficult things early and do some good things and just keeep that momenutum in the day.

+ Mental and emotional states: Really good today. Faced with adversity at work I really held it together. I faced resentment and didn't let it affect me. Just maintained a good state. After work I really felt connected. 

Overall: Really solid day. This is what I aim for. It was difficult at times but I maintained and really felt good about it. Just want to keep it going. The whole thing is just having a spiritual practice to open a connection with God, practicing service, and trying to maintain the connection. Sounds weird but i got to follow this. Not worry too much about life, just worry about keeping up a relationship with God.

[Jai]

Sep 24

Turned off my internet last night so copy and pasting this in from last night.

+ Spiritual practice: Good today. Had a friend over after work and we did a meditation. It was really nice to hang out, chat spiritual stuff and meditate. Felt really connected today. It’s a good indication of the momentum I have and my daily effort.

 

+ Attitude of service: Good here. I tried to avoid resentment at work and did a good job. I didn’t get upset over some potential conflict at work. Keeping a good attitude of service. Each day I have to renew this because it’s tough to have this orientation. So I want to keep this up.

 

+ Life habits: Did some extra WHM breathing. Ate clean. Slept about 30 min longer since I didn’t sleep well. Good decision I had good energy all day. I’m getting a lot of benefit from these good habits. Plus riding a nice retention streak.

 

+ Mental and emotional states: Really good also. Stayed positive and optimistic. Wasn’t critical or cynical. Really felt connected. Didn’t feel overwhelmed at work. Just day at a time meeting the mental and emotional challenges and staying connected with God.

 

Overall: Strong day. Good marks all around. Not a lot to complain about, pretty much good things in my day. Life feels good and heading in the right dirction. Just need to keep investing in God and do my best tomorrow.

[Jai]

Morning journal session

I've had a really strong week so far so I want to finish strong. Today is an opportunity to continue the good track I'm on. I've had really good connection to God and high vitality and pretty positive. So with God I'm able to meet the challenges of everyday. I'm starting to see that this is sustainable, that I can put God first and keep good performance at work. So Friday is really just finishing the week strong.

I can't let off my good habits. Lately I've had a temptation to sleep in. I worry a little if I don't get 8 hours of sleep. But usually 7 is enough. I want to keep waking up early to face the day and have time for all of my good habits in the morning.

I'm also starting to resonate spirtuality more. I can feel it and I think it's becoming more evident to others. In the past when I've been really spiritually active over a prolonged period of time that's been the case also. It's like I give off a really positive energy and that's evident to others. It's like I have a contagious energy. I want to cultivate this more. The one year where I really had it was 2015 when I had a similar daily spiritual practice and took it really seriously. That year was amazing and I've doubted if I can get back to a similar place. Now it's feeling like i can. I've been a little over 5 months stratight of committed daily spiritual practice. I've definitely gotten closer to God and feel God in my life. I'm starting to attract people like i did in 2015. I'm starting to leave behind fear, worry, doubt, regret, etc. I feel better and more positive about life and the future. I'm really living each day out to the max. So now's the time to keep my foot on the gas. There's no going back. It's taken me like 5 years to get as consistent again. I've had a lot of trial and error in these 5 years, tried a bunch of different things, did grow spiritually some, had some periods where I was spiritually active. But i didn't have the consistency I do now. So that's why I recommitting. Each day I have to do it and grow. There are still some things I need to clean up and things I'm hanging on to, but I can totally overcome those also. They are just the next barriers to overcome.

So I'm convinced that there is an even greater connection out there. I just can't give up. Have to keep with my spiritual practice and this path.

[Jai]

Sep 25

Today went well. Lately I have less natural motivation to get out of bed. I slept in till 4:30am lol. Still getting up early but I feel like I want more sleep. Usually the least I get is 7 hours. Most is 8, usually in between. But I'm never really tired. So I shouldn't worry about more sleep I guess because I'm never tired. Good effort at work today. All the work is never done, but I'm putting in good effort. So happy with how I handled a Friday. Also really good signs of connection. Really felt God's presence in my life. l really notice and feel a different consciousness. When I have strong mental and emotional states it really does feel like a slightly different concsiousness. And I also have real moments of peace. I'm not in conflict or turmoil, just a deep sense of serenity. So I'm building all of this. And the good news is that I'm doing it while under considerable stress at work. Not the worst job in the world but there's a lot going on and I'm adapting and growing spirtitually to meet the circumstances. So I want to keep my foot on the gas. It's taken me a lot of effort to get here. There is still more work to be done. And I'm feeling like I can keep building stronger and better states and really exist in a good spot.

+ Spiritual practice: Really good morning session.

+ Attitude of service: Good here. Good outward energy, trying to be helpful

+ Life habits: Good. good WHM, now doing pushups on a breath hold. Diet is really strong. I'm never hungry. Junk food makes you hungry. Really eating clean.

+ Mental and emotional states: Good here. Really positive all day. Good awareness and good direction.

+ Resentment: I'm saying good because i really notice subtle disturbances. Just asked God to take these away. They're barriers to my well being and bring me down. Got to catch these when they're small.

Really good day, nothing to complain about, mostly things to be excited about.

 

[Jai]

Sep 26

+ Spiritual practice: Good but a different tone on weekends. I definitely maintained some good connection today. I got a good cumulative effect going and want to keep it up.

+ Attitude of service: good outward energy. Great conversation with a friend. I thought i was helpful to him and he was also helpful to me. Got a great new saying: "your vibe attracts your tribe"

/ Life habits: good, but I didn't get enough hours in for my computer session. Not the end of the world, but progressing with my skills is important. Also met up with a girl which is good. I think I definitely want that in my life. I feel like i'm heading in the right direction. I got some good sexual discipline with retention going and good energy. Next step is improving relationships.

+ Mental and emotional states: Really good. Hit a small lull in the afternoon but also bounced back good. I'm definitely in a good place of positivity.

Overall: Solid day. Felt good to go on a date. Excited about life in general. I want to dig in and really build a nice life for myself. It's going to take a lot of hard work but I'm on my way. I can't turn back now. I got good energy and momentum. I got a good opportunity. The main thing is just keeping God first.

[Jai]

Sep 27

+ Spiritual practice: Did a quick session before going hiking at 5:30. Going to do a meditation now before bed. So still present in my life.

+ Attitude of service: Decent outward energy. Not a lot of opportunities for service tho.

+ Life habits: Good. Had a ton of exercise today. Hiked a mountain. Got up early. Ate clean. Stepped into a cold shower. Really strong day.

+ Mental and emotional states: Good. I didn't worry about Monday and work. Really just had a good day. Mondya is usually a strong day anyway. I like being free from worry on weekends. That way I can enjoy it. Had slight compare and despair where I was comparing myself to others. Just need to focus on my own progress and live in gratitude.

Overall: Solid day. Was pretty productive after my hike and got a couple things done. Still have a lot of stuff in my personal life to do. I'm just busy and hiking takes up all day. Which is a good thing. I like the sense of accomplishment and getting outside. I felt really connected and great. My retention streak is now over 14 days I think. I'm going to keep this going. I like the energy and discipline. This is on my mind now more since I went on a date yesterday. I definitely want to improve my dating life. It's weird with Covid but I think I have to stop using that as an excuse. Problem is also it does seem like a distraction from work and from my spiritual life. So I have to make sure I keep my spiritual life first. Really connect and resonate spiritually and not let dating distract me from that. It should be an additive in my life not a distraction.

[Jai]

Sep 28

Good day for habits and action but I hit a little bit of an emotional snag in the early evening after work. Today I put forth really good effort, but I could be feeling a bit overwhelmed and the problem is that there is no end in sight. I think that is just kinda work or career in general. I just have to accept that this is what life is like. I've always valued free time and for now there isn't a lot of free time. It's just a cycle of weeks that are all pretty similar. All my habits are all pretty similar. But I've made a good effort of doing good things that are memorable in my free time to make me feel sane and to value my off time. So today I really hit a dip because I realized it's kind of like being on a treadmill and I just have to make the best of it. It's not that bad, it' s just I've always valued more free time. I also enjoyed my job more as a mechanic more than this computer job. Being a mechanic was more satisfying and felt more natural. Plus I got paid a lot better. I was naturally more excited about it than by doing this. But with that it took a physical toll. It was pretty brutal. But mentally there was no stress. This is the opposite. The difficulty is in the mental stress and staring at a computer. My body feels great, my habits are great, I have a great spiritual practice but I'm not as naturally fulfilled or happy with my work. So I just felt that today a little. I recognize it and want to get over it an move on so I can keep progressing.

+ Spiritual practice: Good. Good effort here. This is the foundation.

/ Attitude of service: Good but I didn't listen well in a meeting after work. Instead of listening to others I was in my head a little. I caught myself and was able to refocus which is good. But the point is that I wasn't naturally oriented toward others. Good attitude at work though. Definitely focused on being helpful.

+ Life habits: Good. Pretty good discipline here. Don't want to give this up.

/ Mental and emotional states: Not horrible here, but didn't have the control and direction I wanted. Got a little off track and distracted by feeling overwhelmed. I didn't go into a tailspin, but I'd like to keep better motivation and faith that it will all be worth it. Just need better perspective and a stronger commitment to my goal. If I have a strong commitment to my goal then I'll be able to make it through tough times better. So part of it could be just having a better vision of what I'm building so I don't get as down.

Overall: I moved forward today, no doubt. Just have to not get discouraged. I think that is the word discouraged. Even on off days I'm doing a lot, progressing and trying my best.