Spiritual Review and Progress

[Jai]

Dec 31

A solid year finished. Will reflect more tomorrow. Going to bed early to get up at 4:15 and got to temple to meditate with monks. Best start possible for 2021. Good day today. Went to temple also today. Really nice meditation session. Good service and a good study session as well. Enjoying time with family and time off from work. Lot to be grateful for this year. Definitely made progress and getting stronger throughout the year. Some tough spots here and there because of covid isolation, but I'm going to do even better and make it through this. Really excited for 2021.

+ Spiritual practice. Best thing when I'm visiting my sister is to just go to the temple. Best way to have a nice meditation really early.

+ Mental and emotional states: In a good spot overall today. Still need to be consistent over time to really get where I want to be.

+ Attitude of service: good outward energy and helpful overall.

+ Life habits: pretty good. Want to keep the discipline up.

[Jai]

Jan 1

Excited for the new year. Looked at how I tracked my habits over the past 6 months and did really well. REally made a lot of progress with good habits and want to keep that up. Need to get in here and journal at length. gonna go to bed now though. Have a few good friends who are also motivated to keep making progress so that helps. Regardless last year was really strong and I want this year to be the same. Today got up at 4:15 and went to the temple to chant and meditate with the monks. Great way to start the new year. doing the same tomorrow as well. That's it for now. Need to make it a point to do some more journaling about the upcoming year and the progress I made this past year.

+ Spiritual practice: Really nice morning chant and meditation.

+ Mental and emotional states: overall really good. A little thrown off by work though. Started thinking about Monday and was a little thrown off even though it's totally within my capabilities and I'm doing well. But should'nt worry too much about this. I've dealt with the stress really well.

+ attitude of service: Some pretty good examples of being of service and doing some small things around the house. Also made fresh orange juice for the monks. Good outward energy.

/ Life habits: All pretty good except for diet. When I'm at my sisters I end up eating chips and snacking a lot.

Overall: Strong day, good way to start the new year.

[Jai]

Jan 2

Has been nice visiting with family. It's sad to live apart though. Only get to see each other so much. So it's sad to get back to normal and work and not see my parents often. Glad my sister lives less than 2 hours away. Pretty good day overall though.

+ Spiritual practice: went to the temple again to meditate and chant with the monks. That was nice. Good way to start the day.

/ Mental and emotional states: good, but I was a little sad with family leaving. Also not really sharp with my motivation and connection. felt a little off and restless.

+ Attitude of service: Good examples of service here. Did some nice things to be helpful.

/ Life habits: pretty good except for diet. Did good all around except there. Getting up on first alarm, exercise, and cold shower is best way to start the day. If I can do those difficult things first it sets the tone.

Overall: Pretty good day. Still got to find time to journal.

[Jai]

Jan 3

Good day. Started the day at the temple again. Nice chanting and meditation. Spent time with family which was nice. Also had pretty good habits overall. Starting work tomorrow after a long break. Was nice to be off but time to get motivated again. It's really just daily action and daily progress. Not get too overwhelmed by work. Just do my best and then unplug. Also just keep focusing on my computer course and being consistent. Big thing is to keep investing in God and to keep seeking God connection. This past year has been great for that. Good habits ties into this, I have to live a disciplined and clean life. Really the only bad habit that has tripped me up recently has been watching porn a couple times a month. That definitely has to go. I'm on a streak now and this is a big priority. Since there isn't much opportunity for social life I want to put some effort in online dating. Will be doing this shortly.

+ Spiritual practice: Really nice morning session with the monks. Too bad I live 2 hours from the temple. I'd like to do this on the daily if it were possible.

+ Mental and emotional states: Pretty good: avoided distraction with phone. Avoided negativity. Countered the doubt I had with studying with a nice study session for computers. So on a good track here. i've had some nice motivation recently and want to make 2021 as great as 2020. Sounds crazy because 2020 has kinda sucked all around, but personally I had a great year and a big part of it was just staying connected.

+ Life habits: All pretty good except eating processed foods at my sisters. Not horrible, but some processed vegan food. Now that I'm back home I'll be on the strict diet that I like.

+ Attitude of service: Pretty good also. Good outward energy, good perspective on things and looking to be helpful.

Overall: moved forward

[Jai]

Jan 4

Pretty solid day all around. Felt a little slow getting back into work but had a good day. Felt a bit of tension and stress but handled it well. Nice study session in the morning. Back to a clean diet, on a nice streak of no porn and want to make that permanent again. It's really just a question of getting past the first few weeks and making progress in dating which is what i really want anyway. It's not like I like porn, I'd rather have sex. It's just a weird situation now with covid so I haven't been too social. Solid day with habits also. So keep this up tomorrow.

+ Spiritual practice: Good 30 minutes, but it doesn't feel like it's enough. I do like longer sessions where I can really settle in to prayer and meditation. I'd have to get up even earlier or try to do a little more on lunch. Today I chanted some japa on lunch, but I like being outside during lunch also. So not sure. Hard to get up earlier than 4am.

+ Attitude of service: Pretty good. I helped out at a meeting. I was helpful at work. I had good outward energy which is key. Did sink a little too much in to self reflection instead of listening to others.

+ Mental and emotional states: pretty strong all day. The key is to put together weeks of a really solid state where I only have an off day once in awhile. So just have to stick to some good habits, stay close to God and work on being optimistic.

+ Life habits: Really good today. Time to go to bed around 8pm now and do it all again tomorrow.

[Jai]

Jan 5

Really nice day overall. Had good effort at work. Tried to be helpful at work. Recognized if i was a little upset or frustrated and tried to move in the opposite direction. Had really strong habits today also so proud of that. Definitely felt like I moved forward. Felt some pretty decent God connection also which I always want to sustain. Overall my life is pretty good - just need to serve God, live it a day at a time and not fall in to comparisons or thinking that I'm not on a good path. Work is going okay and I'll settle back in I anticipate.

+ Spiritual practice: Had a longer morning session of 30 min, plus shorter sessions at lunch and after work. So it's definitely a priority. Want to focus more on learning the last bit of this chant rather than chanting the whole way through it. Focus on the last push to the end - then I can enjoy saying an entire chant.

+ Attitude of service: good outward energy today. Never really fell into inner turmoil. Glad to have outward energy and be helpful at work. Need to keep a service perspective instead of an I'm out to acheive somehting or have an agenda perspective. I'm all about personal goals but at work I do best if I just focus on service.

+ Mental and emotional states: Solid place today. Felt good overall and connected. Positive and optimistic. Also not thinking about porn which is normal, but over the past couple of months I've been caught off guard on an off day and end up watching it a few times a month. So need to stay on guard for the first couple of months, after that it becomes a thing of the past.

+ Life habits: Really strong today. Going to bed a bit early to get a little extra sleep. But a really nice day with discipline and clean living.

[Jai]

Jan 6

Another really solid day. on a nice streak. Had a good attitude of service at work and tried to be helpful. I also had really strong habits, I'm trying to really rely on God and have God as the source of strength in my life. So they kinda support each other, simple clean living with good habits supports my God connection, my God connection supports motivation and vitality to have discipline. Today also talked with a friend I hadn't talked to in awhile. Today I had a nice meditation and chanting session. Also going to put some effort in to online dating. Getting some photos taken and just got to work on my dating / social life. online is the way to go now until life gets back to normal. So gonna treat it like any other good habit and just put some decent effort in.

+ Spiritual practice: Lunch is a pretty decent time to get in chanting and japa. First thing do that on lunch it really is a nice break from work. I can then go for a nice walk also. morning session is solid, whm breathing has also been strong.

+ attitude of service: good outward energy, not stuck in inner turmoil. Here to serve God. Was thinking about that a bunch. One of the benefits of trying to connect with God is that it puts the focus on God not on me. I'm not the center, God is the center. So all I do is to serve God and show what is possible with God working through me.

+ Mental and emotional states: Nice and solid and stable. On a great trajectory. Feels like good things are happening. Had a bit of a slump the last couple of months, not really bad, just not the consistent state I was in most of summer and early fall.

+ Life habits: strong. Big thing is staying away from porn and putting effort in online dating.

Overall: moved forward today.

[Jai]

Jan 7

Another good day. Feel a bit tired right now though and ready for bed. Also glad I went to meet some friends to hang out. That was nice. So I've had a good week and want to keep that up tomorrow. Also glad I've been living super disciplined and clean. Slept on the floor last night. I think that might be a new thing. Hopefully I can get used to that and get solid sleep. Today I noticed I have to keep working on patience with coworkers. Sometimes I get a bit upset and I'd really like to stay calm and patient and be helpful. So that will be present in my mind tomorrow and going forward. Ready for the weekend and to have some nice study sessions and prep for the computer course I'm taking.

+ Spiritual practice: Another good day of a nice routine. Getting chanting and japa in during lunch works great. Morning meditation solid. Each day I have to prioritize this.

+ Attitude of service: was helpful at work and good outward energy. Even though I lose a little patience my actions have been toward being helpful.

+ Mental and emotional states: in a good place today. Pretty positive and connected. Leaning into life and the challenges. Good energy and clarity.

+ Life habits: good. Ate dinner earlier. Want to do this so I'm not so full when I go to bed. Dinner is my main meal so it seems like I will benefit by eating right after work.

Moved forward today.

[Jai]

Had a decent day for most of the day but after work I got a little bogged down. Distracted internet use is the big culprit. It's Friday so I relaxed a little with the intensity of my good habits and started checking dumb internet websites. I also was chatting with a girl on online dating who I honestly wasn't that in to but I thought it would be nice to chat and maybe I would gain interest but I didn't. I kinda knew I wasn't interested in her. So this was just distracting me. and then I got bummed out about online dating again and became kind of negative. I do want to improve my pics and put in some actual effort on here. Also a little bummed because I don't have any plans for the weekend, no skiing, nothing fun really planned. Haven't heard from a couple friends and life has gotten kinda dull recently. So I have a lot of progress going on, but nothing too fun. That's probably part of the reason I want to get into dating a bit more. Anyway so going to go to bed and have a solid day tomorrow.

+ Spiritual practice: solid day here, putting God first.

+ Attitude of service: helpful at work and trying to assist and contribute. Good outward energy, God is the center, pretty much here to serve God.

/ mental and emotional states: all pretty good until after work. Got into a little funk after work and got distracted and a little down.

/ life habits: Good except for the internet use after work. That bummed me out some. This is one habit I want to work on this year. I definitely need to clean this up. I basically can't be wandering the internet on my phone. So need to be more vigilient with this. Let my guard down on a Friday.

Overall still made some forward progress, mindless internet use is the only blemish on a good day.

[Jai]

Jan 8

Solid day today. Ended up meeting up with a sponsee unexpectedly. We hung out and had a really nice spiritual chat. Really talked about God and spirit and directing our thinking. Was able to also watch some football which is a guilty pleasure. I was still able to get 4.5 hours of studying in so that was good. Gonna have a similar day tomorrow with studying and try to hit at least 4 hours. Today also got up pretty early without an alarm. Went to bed at 8pm and woke up at like 4:45 without an alarm. Was just ready to get up. Got some cleaning done also. Didn't exercise though so that's the negative. This is probably only like the 3rd or 4th day I haven't done at least a little exercise in 7 months or so. But still a solid day.

+ Spiritual practice: not the same intensity as during the week but nice. Would like to get in a longer meditation tomorrow if possible. Get some studying done and then get in a nice meditation.

+ Attitude of service: made my friend some nice snacks. Good outward energy.

+ Mental and emotional states: In a good spot today. Funny how last night I was in a dip. Just got a bit negative and distracted. Bounced back nice todya.

/ Life habits: overall good still good discipline. But did eat some processed food and didn't exercise. So always on the look out for those.

[Jai]

Jan 10

Mostly good day. Cleaned my sisters house since I stayed there a night. Felt good to do that. Also had a pretty good morning study session, though got a little frustrated. Hit my weekly goal of 18 hours studying. Mostly positive day, did some spiritual reading and discussion with a friend, that was great. Fell into some distracted internet use and snacked on some processed food at my sisters. Not happy about bad habits. Gotta really work on phone use this week and just keep it away from me. I want to keep my focus also on daily effort and progress. I'm doing good there. I get worried about the future and how difficult it is to learn computer langauges, but I just got to stick with it a day at a time.

/ Spiritual practice: okay meditation. I alwasy want to do a really long meditation on weekends it's just really hard to find the time since I have to study so much. Still got a meditation in, just didn't get in any chanting or japa. Plus meditation and prayer was only 15 min.

+ Attitude of service: Cleaned my sisters kitchen really well and was helpful with a friend. Good outward energy.

/ Mental and emotional states: Good but not great. Still solid, not much negativity, but not forward leaning and optimistic. So I want to be more connected here.

/ Life habits: Mixed. Mostly good but always eat some junk food at my sisters. Plus wasted some time on the internet this evening also.

[Jai]

Jan 11

Still haven't done a long session journal session. Outside of this I also have some journaling projects. Problem is I'm so busy. I keep a pretty active spiritual practice, work full time, study 18 hours a week, and have other good habits and hobbies. It's tough to get on the computer to journal when I'm already on the computer for 58 hours a week between work and study. Still need to get a session in sometime. Today was a good day all around. Lived really clean, had good energy. Had some really nice God connection and sense of meaning, purpose and peace. Also was pretty helpful at work, although I have to watch getting upset with coworkers. Really need to look out for that. Also just be in it for the long haul and keep doing what I'm doing. I'm on a good track.

+ Spiritual practice: Decent morning session, also did japa and chanting during lunch. So not a big robust session, but still solid.

+ Attitude of service: Good outward energy and good contribution at work.

+ Mental and emotional states: Really good today. overall had good God connection, good perspective, good focus. Was strong today so want to keep up this momentum.

+ Life habits: All pretty good. Living clean with a lot of discipline.

Overall: Moved forward.

[Jai]

Jan 12

Really solid day today. Was playing on offense today. Felt really good. Had good energy and connection. Handled situations well. Was helpful at work, wasn't stressed and just tried to contribute. Had real positivity and optimism, wasn't in fear and self pity. Idea is to keep the momentum going and not let off the gas. Just keep really clean habits and trying to connect with God. Good news is I'm feeling more comfortable at work. I've been here about 8 months so I'm not really new any more. I'm seen as contributing and that I really give good effort. There is still a lot to learn with the database but there is a lot I already understand. So I'm in a good position. The key is really just trying to do service. I'm not really out to prove anything or have an agenda, I kinda just want be helpful.

+ Spiritual practice: Still a priority and putting it first. Didn't do my chanting and japa because I went on a walk and listened to a spiritual podcast at lunch.

+ Attitude of service: Good today, good outward energy. Tried to be helpful. Not stuck in self or my own problems.

+ Mental and emotional states: Playing on offense, right where I want to be. Optimistic and positive.

+ Life habits: Good things here.

Moved forward today.

[Jai]

Jan 13

Solid day for sure. I felt some frustration at work though. Just some things didn't go right and I recognized the frustration. Also recognized the frustration with others. So not good. I need to be seperated from results and keep my focus on service and keeping an internal strength and peace. So something to work on. Good news was I really kept up with things and my effort is good. Also being helpful, but I have to watch the internal state I'm in and avoid frustration, resentment, anxiety, etc. Beyond that I want to get my meditation up a little bit more, journal when I have the free time, and just overall keep oriented toward performance. The no porn is going good, definitely want to get back to the place i was at when I didn't watch porn for over a year. So good momentum there. Also been doing retention for 10 days and I feel my energy level is good. I want to keep this streak going also. I want my real focus to be on finding a girl to date. So will be putting some effort in here.

+ Spiritual practice: Good. Typical work day of up early and getting a morning session in. Also had a nice lunch session.

+ Attitude of service: overall good, but for a moment during the day I fell into a little frustration and was getting upset with others. Got to be on the look out for that.

+ Mental and emotional states: Generally pretty good today except for the little frustration. Excited about things in general and still on offense.

+ Life habits: Good here. So important to live clean. Even sleeping on the floor now. I've been getting some great sleep on the floor. Something about discipline and renunciation that gives off a certain pleasure and energy.

Moved forward today.

[Jai]

Jan 14

Good day today also. Was really productive. Ended up studying 3 hours and got an extra hour in. Made some pretty good progress at work also. Also today I was a little frustrated at work from time to time. Not horrible but always something to look out for. I do a good job countering it, but I want to avoid it altogether. Just stay in gratitude instead. Keep an attitude of service. Today had good energy and optimism and am just doing a lot but it feels sustainable. I really stepped up and have adapted well.

+ Spiritual practice: Got ready a little quicker got a 30 minute morning session in. Plus 15 minutes on lunch. Good God connection today. Keep this going.

+ Attitude of service: Good outward energy, trying to be helpful, trying to contribute and work hard. Not stuck in self today.

+ Mental and emotional states: Strong throughout the day. Only negative is I thought about porn for a bit. Feeling a bit lonely so soon I'll put some effort in dating. Been on a good streak of retention so I see the benefits, porn just unplugs me and makes me feel distracted. So want to stay away.

+ Life habits: pretty good. Living a life of discipline and my spiritual practice and connection with God is the source.

[Jai]

Jan 15

Had a really nice day off. I ended up coding for 6.5 hours and made good progress. Still new so learned how to branch in github and kept working on javascript stuff. Today felt nice, made good progress and I've come pretty far considering I didn't know much starting out. It's a nice hobby and I think it will lead to good things in the future. Beyond that solid day with habits, energy, effort. Spritiual practice was really strong. I did a 40 minute breathwork and meditation session in the morning. 30 of that devoted to meditation and prayer. It makes such a difference having 30 minutes instead of 20. I don't feel rushed and I can go really deep. Honestly the sweet spot is probably 40 -45 minutes. But on work days hard to manage that. Really only low spot is that in the late afternoon / evening thought about porn some. Just kinda discouraged with online dating in this small city. I keep talking about putting a little effort in there. Anyway, the porn is a threat to all of the discipline and clean living i have. I'm really riding a nice wave and feeling really connected and I know that that can disconnect me and leave me distracted and with low vitality. Anyway, that was out there today alos.

+ Spiritual practice: Really solid. Really nice meditation, best one in a long time.

+ Attitude of service: Was willing to help a friend even though he didn't need it. Jumped at the opportunity to be helpful. He got a flat and I was going to give him a ride but it turns out the garage could fix his car kinda quick. But I'm happy that I was so willing to help. Got to keep the service instinct up.

+ Mental and emotional states: All good except for being tempted by porn. Really felt positive and connected and in a place of faith all day. Just where I want to be. I don't want to worry about the worlds problmes, I just want to keep deepening my relationship and reliance on God and contribute.

+ Life habits: Really good and clean.

Moved forward.

[Jai]

Jan 16

Had a really nice start to the day today. Day off so slept in till 6:30 lol. Actually got a lot of sleep since I went to bed at 8:30. Had a great morning practice. Just no boundaries on time. Put in 1 hour 15 minutes in breathwork, meditation, prayer, chanting, japa. Then went on a walk and listened to a spiritual podcast. Really strong way to start the day. Had a good session coding, 4 hours doing that. Finished a project and I'm happy with the results. Really only negative is I've been tempted from time to time with watching porn. I've been on retention almost 2 weeks so my sexual energy is high. I definitely feel some good benefit from this. But also feel a bit lonely and discouraged from time to time. I keep talking about online dating, but I got to commit and actually get some decent photos together and then commit some time to it. Thinking about getting in to photography as a hobby anyway. Only thing holding me back is it's an expensive hobby since i have to buy a camera. But pretty solid day overall.

+ Spiritual pracitce: This is the type of weekend session I like, just an open ended reflection time. Great effort here.

+ Attitude of service: Pretty good here. Good outward energy. Not stuck in self.

+ Mental and emotional states: Where I should be, not in fear or doubt or self pity or worry. Just felt pretty connected and optimistic and dialed in. I'm on a nice streak and want to keep this up.

+ Life habits: All good except for ate some chips when I was watching football at my friends house. Need to drop the snacking altoghether.

Tomorrow: I want to get some journaling in. That's been something I haven't done in awhile.

Moved forward today.

[Jai]

Jan 17

Really positive day. Had like an hour meditation/reflection/prayer session this morning. On top of journaling. Cleaned my apartment some. Went for a nice bike ride. Studied coding some. So all around a productive nice day off. Felt really connected overall. Had a nice spiritual conversation with a friend. The bike ride was with other people who were roller blading. I really feel the presence of God in my life. The more i invest in God the more I feel like life is going to work out. The more I live in faith the better results I get as well. I'm just better engaged and better off. So ready to start the week. I know sooner or later difficulty will come. But that's okay as long as I stay close to God and put in good spiritual effort.

+ Spiritual practice: Really solid. Great morning session. So two epic weekend sessions.

+ Attitude of service: good outward energy. Felt like a contributor.

+ Mental and emotional states: In a good spot. Didn't really think about porn which is good. So a couple weak days with that has passed. Was pretty optimistic. Got some studying done but didn't worry about forcing myself to do it. Still had plenty of time for other good things also.

+ Life habits: Pretty good also. good examples of good things that add to my life instead of take away. Thats the thing with habits, want to keep things positive and beneficial.

Moved forward today.

[Jai]

Jan 18

Good day today but I felt a little flat footed. Not as energized as on a normal monday. Maybe it was becasue I studied a bunch this weekend and should've taken a bit more time off. Or could just be an off day. Regardless my actions and habits were good. I also never rreally fell in to negativity which is good. So even though I felt a bit lower energy than normal I kept a good internal orientation toward positivity and faith. Beyond that on a good streak off retention, and have really high discipline. I'm taking cold showers daily, usually almost all cold with a little heat at the end, then finish cold. Started sleeping on the floor which has also worked out well. Getting up early, etc. And all of this isn't forced. It's really coming from God. The more I turn to God the better different areas of my life become. Also been thinking about getting in to photography as a new hobby. I think it would be cool. Only hting holding me back is how expensive the camera is. Camera definitely is a big investment. So I want to decide on that. But if it's omething that adds a lot of value to my life it would probably be worth it. So have to consider and then commit.

+ Spiritual practice: Good effort. good morning session. Good chanting session at lunch. So i got this 10 minute pali chant basically down. Just a final bit that is a closing section to learn. It was nice today to do the whole thing except for the closing section of a few lines. So happy of my work. Going to enjoy knowing it and saying it.

+ Attitude of service: Great example today. Was helpful to a coworker. Helped her troubleshoot a tech problem without getting frustrated or upset. Just had a good attitude. So want to keep this up.

+ Mental and emotional states: Good. Even though I wsn't as energized I was still in a good place.

+ life habits: also good. Happy about that. Looking to keep this up this week.

Moved forward today.

[Jai]

Jan 19

Solid day but have felt a bit down over the last couple of hours. All good actions today, but I was resentful with a coworker today. It was noticeable and it's been a little while since I felt that way. So getting resentful is my problem. Good thing is I recognized it right away. At lunch I did a nice medittation and walk outside to switch up my reaction. Definitely a good thing to do. So I can be happy I recognized it and tried to get rid of the resentment. Nothing will make me more disastisfied at work then being upset with coworkers. My success at this job really depends on me having good relationships and not being upset. So something I can always work on. Good news is also I haven't felt this way in awhile. Hopefully a long time until I feel that way again. After work though I've felt a little bummed. Partly because of not a lot to do after work and just being stuck in my house some. So that is definitely a factor. Another thing is that I'm not sure about buying a nice professional camera. I think I'd like to get in to photography some, but cameras cost a lot of money. So I'm questioning whether it's worth it. So I can't really make a decision. Also just kinda bummed by a lack of a dating life which I've complained about before. Problem is online dating feels like a distraction and feels inauthentic and I'm not really in to a lot of the girls on htere that I see. But I do think having a girl in my life would be a positive thing, so I also kind of feel like it's something I should end up doing. So also some disatisfaction there. So gonna get a good nights sleep and put forth some good effort tommorow.

+ Spiritual practice: Good effort today. It's nice to know this chant. It feels good to chant it and have it almost finished.

+ Attitude of service: Did a good job getting some things done today at work for others. Apart from being resentful had a good outward orientation. But after work got stuck in inner turmoil some. Some times after work i think I should jsut go for a drive to the grocery store to pick somehtng up, walk around and get out of the house.

- Mental and emotional states: Really good most of the day, but kind of got down after work. Partly because of distracted internet use. And partly because of other factors like being stuck at home and not having anythign planned to do after work. Tomorrow I got a friend coming over to hang and meditate which is good.

/ Life habits: This was good here except for internet use. Just wandering around on youtube or looking at dumb articles is not for me. Need to be purposeful on the internet.

Still moved forward today even though felt a bit down after work.