Spiritual Review and Progress

[Jai]

May 23

+ Spiritual practice: Another good day. Did a 50 minute meditation this morning, including meditative prayer which is more and more appealing to me. Good on chanting, reading review

+ Positivity/optimism: Good here, stayed on the positive side of things. Felt good energy.

+ Staying active/productive: finding opportunities to stay busy and do worthwhile things instead of sinking into bad habits and laziness

+ Outward energy/attitude of service: Really enjoyed the day, had good energy, wasn't stuck in inner turmoil. Enjoyed an afternoon with family. I was present with them, enjoyed their company. Took them to lunch also which was good.

+ Life habits: Good here. Woke up early, did morning flow exercise routine, also good self care, WHF breathwork and cold shower. Did a second stretching session. Diet is good too.

Overall: Another solid day, nothing to really complain about. Grateful because I got a free bike from my brother in law. Took a great ride that made me feel good. Life has been great this past week. I'm bringing everything I can to the equation and the results are good. I really feel God's presence in my life. I have to put in the spiritual work, make it the priority and then God meets me half way. If I fall back into mediocrity, laziness, bad habits then all of this disappears. I know that to be true. I can't let off the gas. I want to transform my life and my experience with the world. It's up to me to really become a spiritual person and have that be a central fact of my life.

 

[Jai]

May 24

+ Spiritual Routine: Good. Honestly really good effort. In spare time I'm doing extra meditation, all of this is a genuine and authentic interest of mine. I don't have to force it, it's something I enjoy and it makes my life better.

+ Life habits: Pretty good. I didn't drink a gallon of water today but everything else was solid. Cold showers are becoming more natural, I won't say easy since there is still some psychological resistance to getting in, but I can find the motivation and once I'm in I adapt better than before. Exercise was good, diet really good. I'm enjoying all these good habits.

+ Positivity/optimism: Good here, on the positive side of things, never fell into the negative really. A couple small doubts here and there but nothing major. Not as energized as yesterday but still on the good side of things.

+ Retention: On my retention schedule, almost a full 4 weeks of 6 days retain, 1 release. This is good for discipline and to harness that energy for my spiritual practice and for life in general

+ Social: Had a couple good conversations when I went on a hike with people. I had good energy felt natural and engaged. Missed an opportunity to talk to a couple girls right when I was exiting the trail, it wasn't really a natural open for a conversation but it wouldn't have been out of place. When I'm really energized conversations like that come more natural. I do want to put myself out there more.

+ Attitude of service: Met with a sponsee today. That went well, I try to be helpful and share my experience. Today I also had good outward energy toward others, I wasn't stuck in my own turmoil or problems.

- Light anxiety: Today I felt some light anxiety, nothing major, but I want to be proactive about this and on the lookout. It has to do with work since I'm new and learning. I still kept up all my good habits and practices which minimize it. So I have to keep those going.

Overall: Today was a solid day. I definitely moved forward spiritually. It was also a day with a lower pitch of energy and not as amped up. I think part of that has to do with that it's the weekend. My morning flow exercise was a little more mellow so I could recover and go harder tomorrow. My pace with getting things done was also more relaxed. I also think this is necessary because during the week I've been trying to have laser focus and speed. So to not burn out on weekends I have to dial it back. But this might have led to just a more mellow and less amped vibe overall, which is okay. Still a solid day overall and ready to keep improving tomorrow.

[Jai]

May 25

Still gotta make a standard format to review all the standard things but for now:

+Spiritual progress: Good day here. My evening meditation wasn't that strong, I had a big dinner, was digesting and was distracted more than usual. I also didn't do a second session of WHM breathing today which always helps with meditation. Prayer is also good, I've been doing a type of meditative prayer which is working. Chanting and reading I'm going to do in the evening. In the morning before I start the day, at least for now I'm going to focus solely on meditation and prayer.

+ Life habits: Great, I'm really becoming extremely active. A body in motion stays in motion or whatever the saying is. Today I got up and did the daily flow exercise practice that takes about an hour. And later in the day I rode my bike like 15 miles. So I'm really happy about the energy I got. My diet is strong. Took a completely cold shower today, self care is good, did WHM breathing. All these good habits combined with the spiritual practice keep me very focused, motivated, confident, etc.

+ Social interaction: pretty good, I'm on my toes in social situations, saying hi and talking to people and being friendly. I have outward energy, not inward turmoil. I'm becoming the positive, optimistic, confident person that I want to become. And I'm inhabiting that world and trying to share it. Still not really talking to pretty girls which I got to do eventually. Right now I'm just having natural conversations with whoever. I know from experience to talk to girls you just kinda gotta force yourself in a little bit in a confident way and see what happens and play the numbers game. Eventually I'll find a girl that's in to me. The point is that I'm almost there, I'm still working on my product and becoming more excited about life, more confident, and just really establishing myself on a rad and righteous path.

+ Positive/optimistic: Not really any signs of negativity, not really any regret over the last job and leaving it, no doom over the state of the world, no fear over the future and the unknown, no anxiety and worry, no self pity. Just a steady positivity, confidence, optimism, feeling that I'm getting things done and moving in the right direction. This is exactly the feeling that I want to build and maintain. Now that I'm in this zone, I can't let up off the gas. This is the spiritual work that it takes. And I take this shit seriously. Ride or die!

+ Retention: On schedule for the 6 and 1 goal I set, tomorrow will be a full month of hitting it. Edged for the first time this month. It's okay, but i don't want to make that a common practice. All of this fits in with finding a girl anyway. I want good discipline in this area of my life so I can harness this vital energy. I want to let this vitality improve every area of my life and also eventually find a girl to share it with.

+ Work: Good day, technically I was off but since I'm new I really want to learn this program I got to learn. I'm excited about this opportunity, it's starting to seem more interesting, I think there is good potential here. Also I really feel like work is fitting in nicely with my lifestyle. I want to work and hustle, it's good for me. I want the sense of accomplishment and pride. I'm also happy because whatever anxiety I had yesterday dissappeared. All I had to do was start working. I still have a lot to learn, but I'll get a lot further if I'm more confident and feel strong than if I'm anxious, nervous and weak. So with this I want to keep focusing on a day at a time, and not focus on the end goal. If I do my best day in and day out and put in a lot of deliberate and focused work then I'll get where I need to be. So today was a good day and moved forward.

Overall: Really solid day, honestly yesterday was good also, but a little anxiety and a lower pitch of energy. Today I countered with more energy, more focus, more deliberate action. I'm on a killer streak of days, I haven't really counted how many in a row, but it's awhile since I've had significant fear, worry, anxiety, self pity, depression, etc. So I want to keep this streak alive and keep the action alive. The whole time it feels like a lot of days are all at least 7, a lot of 8's, maybe even a 9 in there. But I'm really liking the consistency. For a long time I'm accustomed to feeling days that are 4s, 5s, and 6s. Just stuck in mediocrity and low energy and low spiritual resonance. But all that has changed. So time to go to bed and keep it up tomorrow.

[Jai]

May 26

Made the standard review, I have 6 standard areas of review, after that it may just be specific to the day if I need to review something else. May always revise, but for now:

+ Spiritual Practice: Good here today. Morning and evening sessions are becoming standard and rewarding. Evening is chanting and spiritual reading. Morning is prayer, contemplation and meditation. Breaking up like this I think will work well. Throughout the day since I'm working from home I usually have time for a lunch WHM breathing and meditation

+ Life Habits: So solid here. I think I biked like 13-15 miles today on a work day. I got a lot of good energy and spirit. My relationship with God is the base, all these life habits actually help strenghten that and the connection. My diet is so clean, I don't eat big portions for breakfast and lunch and I'm not even really hungry throughout the day. Clean food doesn't make me feel like I have to snack at all. WHM breathing and cold shower is going well. I'm taking care of things right away, cleaning my apartment, staying organized, really good motivation.

+ Positivity/Optimism: Good here. Definitely more positive than a couple weeks ago and even last week. Negative thought patterns are becoming a thing of the past and only visit from time to time. Today I had a critical thought come up about something and I totally recognized it and countered it. I'm busy with work so no time to dwell on negative things, I'm working on keeping stress and anxiety down so the negative thoughts don't overtake me at work. If I can keep this going I'll exist in a pretty much positive mental and emotional framework.

+ Attitude of Service: Good here. At work I'm trying to be helpful, scheduling meetings right away for other people to save time and to be on top of things. I'm looking to take on responsibility for stuff as I keep learning. In general I have good outward energy, not focused on inner turmoil. That is pretty much the key, to be on my toes and see how I can contribute to life.

+ Work: Good day. Solid effort, solid focus. I can still improve but overall good. I obviously want to keep this up. If I go day at a time I can really move forward. To lower stress and anxiety this is my gameplan, focus on what I can for the day, do my best and I'll get where I need to get. If I worry about some far away goal that makes me less likely to reach it.

+ Social Interaction: Good. I'm being really friendly. I have good energy. My consciousness is strong. Like it's been said a city set upon a hill cannot be hid. If I build a strong spiritual consciousness it will be evident. I want to keep moving in this direction and really interact. An off shoot of this is the girls section of social life, eventually I need to start putting myself out there on a consistent basis.

Overall: Really good day, definitely moved forward. It's like the more I do and the more I try to improve the more willing I become because I see the direct results of my effort. Lately all good days. Adversity will always be out there but I'm more and more prepared to handle it. Other than that on my retention schedule and today I release and start the process over again. Discipline here is definitely paying off and will pay off in the future. It's a good challenge and I've made a month of this 6 days on retention one day off. So that's a decent accomplishment.

[Jai]

May 27

+ Spiritual Practice: Good. Hitting on all the actions. Just had a good chanting session. I'm learning slowly because I can only dedicate so much time to it, but now that I got a decent amount down I can enjoy doing it.

+ Life Habits: Good. Really into a good routine. Wake up early, exercise is good, WHM breathing and cold exposure is good, diet, self care. I'm outside riding my bike to make sure I get a break from working inside my house all day. It's important that I just keep doing these and not compromise.

+ Positivity/Optimism: Okay here, not as positive or optimistic as I've been, but still on the good side of the ledger. I never fell into negativity today, just wasn't charged up with positivity. That's okay though, as long as I don't fall back into negativity. And I think as long as I keep up my spiritual practice and good habits i'm more likely to have really positive days.

/ Attitude of Service: good in general. Still have outward energy, still did a lot of things right today. Wasn't self absorbed in my problems. But at work I backed off of something because I was scared of the workload and scared of complications with it. I also didn't express it in the best way. Definitely wasn't a disaster but I'm going to express that I'm willing to do whatever it takes for the team to succeed especially since i'm a new member. So I want to phrase it like that.

+ Work: Good. Good effort. Not amped up, but still consistent effort. Each day I want to put in really solid effort. Build endurance and focus, stay productive and on task. And then I'll get to where I need to be. The first 3-6 months will be real difficult, after that I should be able to settle in.

+ Social Interaction: Nothing really today. Didn't really see anyone on my bike ride. Never had a chance to interact. This is something I got to look out for with the quarantine. any opportunity to be friendly or interact I need to take advantage of.

- Resentment (anger, judgmental): had a small resentment against someone in a virtual meeting. Really no big deal, but I want to list it to be thorough. I was cut off when speaking, but it wasn't that bad. There were time concerns. This has more to do maybe with me being judgmental toward this person, which is something i need to improve on.

+ Retention: Back on retention schedule. It's been 4 weeks of good discipline. Yesterday was release so today my energy was a little lower in my morning workout. That's something I noticed. I may move the release day to the weekend so that I can have better energy during the week. But still minor energy drop.

Overall: A solid day. Not as energetic as I'm used to but still solid. And I'm keeping up with all my good habits

[Jai]

May 28

+ Spiritual Practice: Really good. Definitely the foundation, it's really natural I don't need to motivate myself, these are just things I do everyday now. The point is to not take days off and to not cut corners
+ Life Habits: Like spiritual practice, becoming naturally and just what I do. I'm eating clean and have no desire for junk food, I'm exercising daily with good effort, today I took an all cold shower and felt energized, self care is good, WHM breath exercises are good. Retention schedule is more and more natural.
+ Positivity/Optimism: No doubt on the good side of things today. Was very positive/optimistic, never fell into negativity. Played the whole day on offense. Perfect example of the consciousness I want to build and the person I want to become. See the good side of things.+ Attitude of Service: Good, quick at work to try to help to get things done. I don't see things as weights and burdens but as opportunities for service. I could see more stress in the future, I could see more problems ahead, but for now this is good.
+ Work: Went well, my focus is good. I have better endurance also in a mental sense. Today I felt really motivated and I want to bring that in to tomorrow. Also I want to get a standing desk so my posture doesn't begin to hurt from sitting at a computer all day.
+ Social Interaction: No real opportunities. Went for a couple bike rides, kinda said hi, waved, was friendly but no real opportunities.

Overall: A great day. I felt motivated, strong, good about life. This is how I want to feel about life and the world. Just solid consistent days where I'm moving forward. Honestly looking over the day I don't see anything negative to report on. Really grateful for a day like this. Want to keep it going and not get off track when a bad day comes, just get right back to what works

[Jai]

May 29

+ Spiritual practice: Good. Just had a good evening session of chanting and meditation. My morning session was also good. Prayer is becoming more profound and directed.

+ Life habits: Also good. WHM breathing is good but my breath holds are down. I've hit a rough spot with that. The benefits are still there. Cold showers good, I'm adapting and it's becoming more natural. Retention schedule is good. Diet really solid. Exercise good but I need to take a couple days off this weekend. I've been exercising hard and a couple days off for recovery is good. Self care good.

+ Positivity/optimism: Good, I actually ahd a really challenging day, but I never fell into negativity or pessimism. I was never really thrown off. I wasn't alive with positivity like yesterday but I did good.

+Work: Good but I felt mentally worn down in the afternoon. A really solid week but I was fatigued and also began to worry some about my performance, about having to learn things, about not getting where I need to be. Wasn't overwhelmed with worry, but I wasn't riding the wave of confidence I had yesterday. So basically it's time for the weekend and to unplug and go hard next week. And utlimately, after work and on weekends I'm staying away from work. I'll go down and fail before I worry on days off. I've been there before and it makes me less effective. To be most effective and have the highest performance i need time away.

+ Social interaction: I had a great conversation with a neighbor. Really put myself out there and my energy is really receptive. Need to keep this up.

+ Attitude of service: Generally good, good outward energy, looking to be helpful. Not focused on inner turmoil.

+ How I reacted to a difficult day: I really stayed with good habits. My mental game was good and I had strong internal conversations about staying positive and moving in the right direction. All of this helped me manage a difficult situation without falling into a lot of fear, worry, negativity, anxiety. I did good, but I also didn't pause and turn to God and ask God for direction, guidance, strength. I want to get in the habit when things come up with pausing like this.

- Resentment (sensitive, judgmental) I had a small resentment against someone today. Maybe they just rubbed me the wrong way. I think here I'm being a little judgmental, and I think i may be a little too sensitive to certain interactions and communications. The good news it's minor, it's never been problematic, but I notice the internal disruption on an emotional level.

Overall: I had a tough afternoon. My bike broke on my lunch ride. But that didn't phase me and I stayed positive. I had a tough afternoon at work from being fatigued and I lost the confidence I was carrying around, so I felt the drop in my energy and focus. There were some frustrating things with a database at work. I made an error which bothered me, the fix seemed to have some complications that may not be completely resolved. I have doubts about buying new technology that I actually could really use, my computer is 9 years old and my phone is 5 years old. I have a tech job, but I don't like spending the money and all of a sudden because of the tough day I'm doubting my resolve to go and do this. But the good news is I never really dropped off. I never fell truly into fear, negativity, worry, etc. I just felt low energy and not as amped. So today is still a win and I'm still moving forward. My good habits and consistent spritual practice are saving me from turmoil and overdramatizing problems. So that's good. Weekend is here so that is obviously great.

[Jai]

May 30

+ Spiritual practice: Good today. Good morning session and evening session. Nothing out of this world but good sessions of prayer, meditation, chanting, etc. I do want to practice learning more lines of the chants.

+ Life habits: Good but I dialed my exercise routine back today. It was 12 consecutive days and I was feeling it. So today I only did warm up, tomorrow also. Probably go to a M-F thing and recover on weekends, although I'll bike and hike on weekends. Also took a day off from WHM breathing. My breath holds are down, I feel sometimes tension in my neck and chest from both the exercise and also the heavy breathing. But I'm definitely commited to this and will start back up Monday. Took a cold shower today, ate clean, good self care, resetting the retention schedule to Saturday so that way I can keep the energy high all week. So saturday is release, rest of week retain. My mental game was also good today. Glad it's the weekend. I'm breaking away mentally from work which is important.

+ Attitude of service: Good today, I kept my thoughts outwardly directed for the most part, never fell into inner turmoil or self absorbtion

+ Positivity/optimism: Really good here. Didn't have a super energized positive day, but definitely wasn't negative. It's been quite awhile since I've truly had a negative day. I've really come a long way and I want to keep this going. I'm starting to develop into the positive persone I want to become.

- Fear (lack of faith): I had two small fears today that I want to note. They didn't derail me, and weren't that big of a deal but I want to be on the lookout for things like this. First fear was fear of buying a new computer and phone. I have the money which I saved and my old computer was 9 years old and my phone 5 years old. I just got a tech job where I can use the computer for sure. Problem is that I still see purchases like this as not really essential, and what's also underneath it is that fear that I won't be able to make the money back in the future. It's really a financial fear because I'm pretty frugal overall. I make pretty good decisions and don't waste money. But this is a spiritual thing where I don't really believe God is going to provide for me in the future. That's the real fear, and that definitely comes up in my life. Nothing is enough because I'm afraid that I'll lose it in the future. The other fear was of getting my things stolen, someone breaks into my house and steals my computer. It's kinda the same fear, I fear that if I lose something i won't get something else back in the future.

+ Social interaction: Good today. I have good outward friendly energy. I friendly with strangers, I'm nice to people on the phone. I also talked to a really hot girl today which was good. Nothing came of it but I put myself out there. I'm building a lot of spiritual energy and momentum so I want that to show in all my interactions. With girls i do have to put myself out there and that's what it takes. I definitely have something good to offer, I'm really improving a lot of different areas of my life and feel great. So this is going to show through. When an opportunity arises I really have to try. In the past I've had some decent success with girls, but still insecurity returns and sometimes I feel like I don't even deserve a pretty girl. It's just one more area I have to improve on. Having a girl to hang out with will make life a lot more fun and interesting.

[Jai]

May 31

+ Spiritual practice: Had a really strong morning meditation/prayer session. Very deep sense of focus and meaning. Evening chanting and meditation was okay. Did spiritual reading also. Day in and day out I have genuine connection

+ Life habits: Good i'm living an active life. Did a warm up exercise this morning, really light just to get going. Went for a hike up a mountain and felt great. Real strenuous. Good diet today, good cold shower and also warm. Generally a day of solid habits. Back on retention for the week, today was day 1

+ Attitude of service: Generally good, met with a sponsee today and tried to be helpful as always. Not a lot of other opportunities for service, but regardless I have a good orientation to the world, ready to be helpful. I have good outward energy instead of inner turmoil.

+ Positivity/optimism: Good here also. Never fell into negativity. I'm no longer frequently visited by fear. Instead I'm becoming an optimistic person. Even on days when I'm not super positive, I still feel good about things and don't fall into negativity.

+ Social interaction: Good, I had two really good conversations on my hike. I just have a way better vibe that I think people are picking up on. I'm more available and not closed off. It makes interaction easier, plus I'm looking to interact and my more optimistic nature is reassuring to people. I like living this way better. I don't like sticking to myself, being negative, not having a strong personality. My true personality is starting to show through and it's more evident that I'm loving life.

- anxiety (fear, lack of confidence, lack of experience) Today I had a slight feeling of anxiety. Very slight and in passing but I still want to recognize it. Basically I know Monday is coming and there was a little anxiety with work. I'm new and I'm not fully accustomed. There is a lot to learn. I got a long way to go. So I felt a little anxious. Here I just have to reaffirm how I feel most of the time (capable and connected) and understand that I'm putting in good effort. I'll get where I need to get. All I got to do is just do my best a day at a time.

Overall: A great day. I had good habits, good spiritual practice, went on an epic hike, and chatted with some people and maybe made a new friend. In the late afternoon I felt tired though, that hike took a lot out of me. So I've felt a little fatigued. That's okay though, I've totally unplugged this weekend and my plan is to go hard this week in my good habits and work. Tomorrow morning I'll have a great exercise session. Then I'll be ready to give my all at work. I also took the weekend off from WHM breathing. Not because I was lazy, but because I've felt some tension in my neck muscles maybe from the exertion from breathing. Back at it tomorrow.

 

[Jai]

June 1

+ Spiritual practice: I'm doing it. My morning meditation wasn't the sharpest, but day in and day out I'm really hitting all my actions. I did a short lunch meditation and just finished doing an evening meditation and chanting. The evening chanting also wasn't the greatest but there will be days like that.

+ Life habits: Also good, I'm naturally doing some good stuff, exercise, diet, self care, cold showers, WHM breathing. I don't really have to motivate to do these. However I also got to make sure I have fun on weekends and do some different and exciting stuff. Otherwise I'll just be 100% routine and life will get a little boring and I may seek out bad habits. Retention schedule going well.

+ Work: went well today. I made a mistake, and got some negative feedback. This affected me for like 15 minutes but then I pulled it back together. That's a product of the spiritual life I'm building.  I want to keep calm, focused, and able to handle adversity.

- Worry (fear, uncertainty): After work I fell into a little bit of fear and uncertainty after having conversations with two friends on the phone. I've been living in a positive and optimistic place, and our conversations kinda deflated that. We talked about a lot of different things and what's going on in the world and all of a sudden I had some fear about the future, what I'm going to do, if I'm doing the right thing now. It took me out of faith. It didn't totally. unravel my day, but I'm used to being positive and living in faith so it's disturbing.

/ Positivity&optimism: pretty good, but see above. I felt great after work, went for a nice walk, but then got a little into fear

+ Social interaction: good, I had a good conversation with someone outside their work. I'm giving off good vibes and people reciprocate. I'm proud of this. And the social interaction is so important with working from home

Overall: A good day. I can say I moved forward. I can say I handled adversity pretty well. I never lost sight of a spiritual connection and tried to maintain that during the adversity. I'm satisfied with my effort for work. Sometimes I think I'm not doing enough, but that's just because I've just begun and have a ways to go. If I break it up a day at a time I'm doing okay. Each day i'm trying to put forth good effort. Tomorrow I want to continue the good things and get back into my positive and optimistic place. I've worked hard to get where I'm at and I don't want to go back

 

[Jai]

June 2

+ Spiritual practice, life habits, work, positivity: All good habits today, was a little drowsy during morning meditation but had a good evening session. Memorized a couple more chanting lines, but didn't practice all the way through.

- Insecurity: Weird thing happened, I saw someone on a nationwide zoom call with people from different organizations. I knew this person from home. Something about my home town makes me feel weird and self conscious. Funny how that works. Nothing that threw me off, but still noticeable.

- resentment (comparisons) slight and very small resentments toward two co workers. One was for negative feedback but I really worked through that and it was totally gone today. I'm just willing to try and do service and win people over. Second resentment is small but is probably a comparison thing where the other guy is more important than me at work. I expect this to go away also, it's not a big resentment

Overall: A really solid day. Improvement from yesterday, felt more confident. Didn't fall into any doubt or negativity. Felt pretty connected. Felt really grateful for a nice dinner. Good days are the norm now. I'm not falling into anxiety or worry over work and it could be easy to do that. I'm feeling capable for the most part and keep my eyes set on long term progress. Life is pretty simple but I'm enjoying it. I'm making plans for outdoors activities pretty much every weekend. When I go for walks I feel pretty energized and good about life. I'm trying to make the most of this opportunity and at the same time keep a healthy and rewarding personal life. A little shorter review tonight since I'm going to bed a little late. Pretty much all good things, really minor disturbances.

[Jai]

June 3

Spiritual practice: good here. Just had a great chanting session, had good concentration and focus, felt good connection and also proud of the work I've put in to learn the chants thus far. Meditation and prayer was also good today. Will do a reading shortly. The foundation is good. Like the saying "a city on a hill cannot be hid" = a conciousness based on meditation and prayer cannot be hid. I'm trying to transform myself and how I relate and interact in the world.

Life habits: Had a really solid WHM breathing session today. i had to go back to the audio to get a better pace. My breath holds were suffering because I was going to quickly I believe. This got me back on track and I had a really good breathing session. Took an all cold shower which is becoming the norm and not as difficult. Maybe the water tempature is getting warmer as we get closer to summer, or maybe I'm getting adapted, or both. My diet is really clean, no unhealthy snacks, no eating out, I don't miss it. I'm never really hungry, I never overeat. My body is feeling great and looking great. Exercise session this morning went well also.

Work: Good day today. I had good focus, I stayed on task, felt like I made good progress, tried to be helpful to others. I have a lot to learn but I'm really motivated. I'm starting to feel more comfortable at work, when I really know what I'm doing I'll enjoy this job because there won't be too much to sweat. It's gonna be a hard few months to learn but I like the challenge I guess. I'm also excited about the lifestyle this job allows me... I really want to do well so I can continue to live a nice life. And since it's a tech job... hopefully one day go remote most of the time. That's a motivator I got in the back of my mind.

Attitude of service: Good, trying to be helpful. Not stuck in inward turmoil and worry about things

Positivity/ Optimism: Good here, a solid day, never fell into negativity. Felt charged also which is good.

Social interaction: Good here. I got a new neighbor downstairs and was able to introduce myself. It's more and more natural for me to have a strong social presence. Also talked to a really cute girl on the street, I'm stepping up whenever I see a good opportunity. I have to since I live in a smallish city and because I'm busy. Didn't go anywhere but whatever, I could've mixed it up more but the more I do it the more the skill will come back.

Overall: Really solid day. Honestly, can't really think of anything negative. Never really fell into any type of emotional or mental trap. Played the day entirely on offense which is a great feeling!

[Jai]

June 4

+ Spiritual practice: Good. Doing everything i should be doing

+ Life habits: Really strong discipline, but it doesn't feel like discipline, I'm enjoying good habit.

+ Positivity: good never fell into negativity

+ Attitude of service: Good, trying to be helpful at work

+ Work: Solid effort, really got mentally fatigued at the end of day, but still feel good.

Overall: Another solid day. Feel a little fatigued and worn, happy tomorrow is Friday. Gonna get some rest and keep charging tomrrow.

[Jai]

June 5

quick review on phone. All good habits and practices today. Only thing was I didn’t chant. Went to visit my sister after work. Had a really great day and that’s the new norm. Today at lunch I felt so connected. Really grateful for my spiritual vitality. I have to keep this top priority . Honestly nothing negative today. I def want to keep it up

[Jai]

June 6

/ Spiritual practice: Okay, doing it, but not as robust today. Partly becasue I'm staying at my sisters and out of my routine and partly because it's the weekend. Still decent effort though. But missed some things.

/ Life habits: okay, took a cold shower, did WHM breathing, but my sleep wasn't the greatest, diet didn't have as much discipline. It's okay though I'll be back to normal.

+ attitude of service: defintiely looking to be helpful and find opportunities.

+ Social interaction: met and hung out with a girl today. It went great. totally unforseen but it happened. It was nice to interact again and have a romantic possibility in my life again. So that was a good development.

Overall: I had lower energy and vitality today. I was tired from staying up late the night before and it showed. I felt off most of the day. Didn't feel really connected, but also never dropped down into negativity or a bad state. Still a decent day. And even though I didn't feel that great i met a girl and our date went well. So that's a good development.

[Jai]

June 7

+ Spiritual practice: Good, not a normal day and woke up at my sisters so didn't have the same quality for my morning spiritual practice. But I'm still doing it and I'm not making excuses. Had two afternoon meditation sessions, the second I didn't settle into a good concentration, but that happens from time to time. My chanting was good today, although I need to continue to learn new lines.

+ Life habits: still pretty good although I definitely took today as a weekend day. My diet was good, but not the same discipline as during the week, mostly because I was at my sisters. I also didn't exercise but I'm pumped about tomorrow morning, I got a new pull up bar. Did cold showers and WHM breathing. Also cleaned my apartment. Back on the retention schedule also.

- Fear: This was subtly present today. Lately I've been pretty free of fear and really energized and confident, however today I felt a little bit of fear over work. I recognize that I'm scared that I'm not learning fast enough and that I'm going to face difficulty. I'm also fearful that I'm not going to do good enough and that eventually the bottom will drop out and I'll be overwhelmed by stress and hate this job. Right now i'm motivated, and have good focus during the week, but this feels like an imposter. the other fear is that I'm not doing enough and that I should be working on weekends, otherwise I won't get where I need to be. But this is how a job would start to consume me and how I would let the fear win. I really do need to step away from work and live life, and when I get back to work I'm much more effective that way

/ Attitude of service: Good in some ways, I was really helpful at my sisters, met with a sponsee to read and chat with him. So very good things, however the fear threw me off a little into inner turmoil instead of outward energy and thinking about what I could do for others.

/ Positivity/optimism: I wasn't energized like I was this past week. Partly the fear unplugged me a bit. Partly because I'm off my normal habits that really open up a channel of optimism. But still it's important to recognize that I wasnt negative. So I'm still on the right side of things.

+ Social interaction: Gonna really talk about yesterday at more length. I met a girl at the supermarket and it was really spontaneous. Usually I have to do all the work to meet someone, but this girl made a comment about some plants I was looking at for my apartment, I said something back and she came over. Obviously that is a good sign, we chatted for a couple minutes, I got her number and we agreed to meet later that evening. It's literally never that easy. She was just really receptive and clearly wanted to hang out. So we met up later and hit it off. She's really herself and really outgoing. We definitely vibed and we were sitting on a patio at a bar and she had a beer, i don't drink. It was really comfortable and natural. She was receptive to me having my hand on her leg and it was a natural attraction. So after a beer she invited me back to her place. It was really cool, it definitely wasn't an invite for sex, and I wasn't even looking for it. Instead I met her dogs and we chatted some more. We definitely had a pretty significant connection becasue of how comfortable it felt, and becasue of the eye contact. It felt really nice to have some human interaction like this. With the dumb coronavirus it's been somewhat lonely for everyone, so this really broke through in a powerful way. Anyway we were gonna hang out today again but I live like an hour and a half away and she cancelled because she had a lot to do before the week. I think it's part of it but there could always be more. Honestly nothing at all might come out of this, and an instantaneous relatively deep connection like that may have scared her away or something. I've been on a lot of dates, and something like that is pretty rare, at least for me. Anyway, this hasn't affected me much today, I was actually more affected by the subtle fear of not doing well at work. But I have to say I'm a little dissappointed. I was hoping to at least keep communication going a little more. Anyway, I'm definitely ready for somehting like this in my life. If it's not her that's okay. Ill just have to go meet other girls until I find one that's a match. Really all I got to do is keep talking to girls when there is an opportunity. With how well I'm progressing with my spiritual practice the vibe and aura I have is bound to be apparent to some girl looking for a guy like me.

Overall: Still a solid day, still forward progress, Ready to get after it tomorrow.

[Jai]

June 9

+ Spiritual practice: Really good, still gotta chant though. My meditation this morning was a little down, but I had a really nice lunch time meditation. That's the nice thing about working from home, really easy to just break away into my meditation room

+ Life habits: good here, really improves my day and energy. Like I said kinda an off morning for meditation but my other habits really helped me out. Part of it was that it is monday and i'm still new at this job. so a little nervous energy, but with solid habits I definitely find a way out of this.

+ Freedom from fear: Really good today, by the afternoon I was rocking out at work, felt connected and protected and all around good. This has been the norm over the last month or so. When fear does come it's an unwelcome visitor, fortunately that happens a lot less often.

+ Attitude of service: Today I had outward energy, thinking about others, and what I could contribute, not stuck in inner turmoil. Was actually really helpful at work with some coworkers. That felt good. I want to keep this up.

+ Positivity/optimism: Really good also, pretty much never fell into negativity, pessimism, cynicism. Just focused on what's good and gratitude.

Overall: A really solid day. Felt good to bounce back to feeling strong after two so called off days. Those days weren't disasters still a lot of good things, nevertheless I've been used to mostly solid days. I attribute this to my spiritual practice and solid habits. Even on days where I feel off I'm still doing these things. So the consistency helps a lot. It is really giving me the resources to make it through adversity without falling into fear, self pity, depression etc. What it really does is open up a channel to God so I can rely on him. It also felt good to shake off the Sunday anxiety over work. Being new I'm a little nervous but man today felt good. I felt like got a good amount done. ✅ I hope I can keep this up and eventually improve, contribute, and internalize that I'm capable of this job. Right now it looks like I found something that I could be good at and like to do. So that's about it

[Jai]

June 9

+ Spiritual practice: Did really well, but didn't practice chanting today. Did a longer evening meditation instead. My morning meditation was really solid. 30 minutes of great concentration that flew by. Prayer good, short spiritual reading good.

+ Life habits: Did 2 sessions of WHM breathing, good breath holds, good results. Also cold shower is becoming natural. I can't believe that. Diet and exercise are strong.

+ Work: Really solid day. I was helpful to others. I tried to be of service. I got a lot done. I had good energy. I had good focus. I felt useful. I felt confident. Hopefully work continues to go like this. I just gotta keep my spiritual effort up. If my spiritual effort is high then my results at work will be good. That's what I'm betting on. Never sacrifice my spiritual practice thinking that that will benefit work.

- Resentment: Today i felt very minor and subtle resentment over politics/social issues. I really try to avoid this stuff and focus on changing myself as a person. But a couple days ago I had a conversation with a friend who always tries to bring this stuff into conversation. So that was resonating and it has negative effects on my mental state. I think I'm cutting of conversations with him. He always goes there and it's not worth it for now. I've asked him not to do that but he always finds subtle ways to do it. It's really annoying. Maybe someday I'll be centered enough to brush this shit off, but right now I'm on such a nice trajectory of positivity that I can't afford any of this.

+ Positivity: Good today, felt really optimistic.

+ Freedom from fear: another day connected with God and no fear on the radar. It is such a relief, I feel like this freedom is becoming my standard place in the world, also a lack of anxiety, self pity etc. The price tag is high: all this spiritual activity and good habits, but it's worth it. I'm resonating faith and confidence more and more. I felt great even though my bike seems to be broken even though I just got it back from the bike mechanic 2 days ago. Usually I would emotionally be thrown into turmoil over this but not today. I actually forgot about it until now. It will get solved, I'm not going to worry, it's not going to throw me off of my positivity. This is such a better way to live than letting things like this bother me.

+ Attitude of service: Good, I had good outward energy, looking to what I can contribute to life.

Overall: Actually a super day. Keep it going!

[Jai]

June 10

+ Spiritual practice: Even better today. I'm doing 30 minute morning meditation, a shorter lunch meditation, plus evening chanting and a shorter meditation. I'm not doing long mega sits of 45 min to an hour, but doing 3 seperate ones and feeling great. I also listened to a dhammatalk today and did a short spiritual reading. Prayer is also solid. I've really opened the channel of God's energy as best I can and I'm sticking with it.

+ Life habits: 2 sessions of WHM breathing, 3 rounds each. Breath holds of 1, 1.5, 1.5 minutes. Just going with the recording. I'm definitely a believer in this technique, it stills and focuses my mind, I've been doing it before meditation in morning and lunch. Also did a cold shower, about 4 minutes, but ended with hot water today. My morning exercise flow practice is good, my diet is great, riding my bike some, self care is good, and i'm on retention schedule for sexual energy. And best of all, none of these good habits feel like work. It's become really natural, I enjoy the benefit.

+ Work: I'm feeling more comfortable and capable at work. Hopefully the anxiety I had last Sunday goes away as I learn more and settle in. I've been really productive, always trying to be helpful and to do service, giving really focused and concentrated effort. It seems to be paying off. I feel like I'm getting good results and I'm liking work. There is a fear that I'm not capable, that I'm going to be overrun with anxiety, worry, fear, etc, that I'm going to hate my job... but instead the opposite is turning out to be true. I'm feeling really good during the week. I feel I like it and I can get more and more into it. Now is the time to double down on my spiritual practice and not run on self will. When I started I said I wasn't going to compromise my spiritual practice... I unplug after work and on weekends. Before work is my time. During lunch I unplug and recconnect. Bringing God energy and spirituality to work has helped me to transform my perspective. If I lose that then pretty soon everything will turn negative.

+ Positivity/optimism: Good today, no real signs of negativity or pessimism. I'm becoming the positive person I want to become. Part of this is just embracing work as something good and productive for me instead of trying to avoid it. Over the last month or so my positivity level has definitely been satisfactory and rarely dips into a problem zone.

+ Freedom from fear: This relates a lot to the positivity... but I just have to note I'm enjoying freedom from fear. I'm just rocking out in life the way God intended. I'm not falling a victim to fears that impede me.

+ Attitude of service: I had good outward energy, looking to contribute to life, not stuck in inner turmoil.

- Insecurity (weakness, lack of confidence): Today I had minor insecurity at work over a conversation with a coworker. I think there was a small difference of perspective and opinion, not a big deal because the issue was going to be fixed. But I'm noting it because I felt insecure, I want to be liked and respected by this person and for a moment I felt like I could've handled the situation a little differently. Not a big error or anything but I still noticed some insecurity on my part.

Overall: Another good day. Another day I moved forward. Another day I moved closer to God. Another day I grew in the image and likeness of my creator. I'm on a nice streak. It seems like here I almost always report good things. I guess it's because i'm taking this seriosuly. Back in 2015 I had a similar feeling and was really dialed in. Now I feel like I'm back! There have definitely been some struggles emotionally and spiritually over the past years where I didn't review like this, and I didn't take spiritual practice so seriously. Now I can't let up, I got to a place where I'm playing on offense. Offense is the best defense. I'm mostly always on the positive side of things.

[Jai]

June 11

+ Spiritual practice: Good, gonna do an evening meditation now and practice chanting. My morning meditation was epic, I forgot to set the timer, went over my 30 min, prob made it to around 45. I definitely would've stayed meditating if I didn't have to work. Prayer solid also, as is spiritual reading.

+ Life habits. Just had a health dinner: white pearl couscous, sweet potato, kale, corn, and onion. I'm getting good at cooking with an instant pot. WHM breathing and cold showers good. I'm feeling in great shape and look really good also.

+ Work: good day here. I got mentally fatigued in the afternoon. But I recognized it, paused and centered myself with God. finished the day as best i could. Trying to be helpful. With how much is going on and how much pressure, it's suprising how not stressed I am and how good I feel about work. I'm doing something right.

+ Positivity/optimism: on the right side of things.

+ Freedom from fear: Good here, never fell into fear. I have relief from the constant nagging little fears I had in the past that separated me from living life.

+ attitude of service: trying to be helpful, made a phone call today to reach out to a friend and be in contact. Good outward energy.

/ Social interaction: was out and about shopping and didn't really talk anyone up. Partly becasue of how drained I was mentally from work.

Overall: Another solid day. I have recently a pretty much total releif from depression. I don't feel down at all. I feel solid. This is how I should feel, mostly always good, somewhat frequently great, and ocassionally a bad day. I want this to be how I live in the world. I really think the biggest barrier to love is feeling bad yourself. It's hard to have love in your heart when you feel bad. It's hard to wish others well, be helpful, be interactive, etc. when you feel bad and down. A good spiritual lesson for me is that if I keep up a high level of consistent spiritual activity and good habits I pretty much can leave depression behind. It's a high price tag and a lot of work but it is totally worth it. These are things I should be doing anyway. Health people, go getters, people excited and motivated about life don't make excuses, they (we) get after life and build discipline and good things in life. So that's it. That's what I want to continue. Just keep living this good life.