Spiritual Review and Progress

[Jai]

Daily spiritual practice* Attitude of service* Mental and emotional states* Sex energy* Cold exposure* Eat clean* Phone & computer habits* Exercise* 

Sep 22

Really good day today. I was a little dull at the end of the day yesterday and today I bounced back some. Still got up early but pushed back exercise until later in the day. I may end up doing that more often. It lets me get an earlier start on studying. Plus I can use exercise and a cold shower as a break between sessions instead of a first thing in the day activity. Today finished strong by meeting with some friends and discussing spiritual stuff. It felt really good to see them and to be back here in general. I feel like I'm in a good spot overall even though I'm not earning all that much now. I feel like I'm on a good trajectory. Even though studying is really difficult and I'm not sure what will come of it and I get in doubt with that overall I'm doing well. So one of the big things is to just keep up my spiritual activity. Within that realm the difficult part is always sex ideal. So with that I'll need to keep that clean and keep making progress there. If I can really improve that then I'll be in a good spot. It feels like the one troublesome area. So I really want to solve that spiritual problem.

Daily spiritual practice* Nice morning session as always. Good to do an evening meditation with friends

Attitude of service* Good here. Was helpful today and found a couple opportunites to help out with things. Good oreintation overall as well.

Mental and emotional states* Was playing mostly on offense today which was good. Good to be engaged and to have good outward energy.

Sex energy* Not distracted by this today. Felt like I had this rightly directed. It's still early in the retention streak so the real challenge comes when this is really high. But still good today and avoided lustful thinking

Cold exposure* Good here. Nice cold shower with the garden hose. But the water isn't really that cold now so not that big of a deal

Eat clean* good here

Phone & computer habits* Good but during down time I check my phone to unwind. Got to find better things to do to minimize screen time

Exercise* Good here. went for a run and bike ride. stretched some

moved forward today 

Edited September 23, 2021 by Jai

[Jai]

Sep 23

Another really solid day. I felt connected pretty much all day. Had a really nice spiritual practice. Was really productive and had good habits. And avoided lustful thinking. So that was a win today. I definitely was playing on offense today. I got 7 hours of intent and focused studying in which I'm proud of. Today was day 7 of the nice streak that I'm on. I want to keep this momentum up and keep putting in good effort. Not too much else to say. When I have solid days everything aligns and I feel good purpose.

Daily spiritual practice* Nice morning session, good way to start the day

Attitude of service* Good here. Trying to be helpful. Good outward energy, not stuck in my own problems.

Mental and emotional states* Really solid here. Was in the positive neighborhood all day. Want to keep this up here and avoid fear, doubt, regret, self-pity, anxiety, jealousy, etc. When I'm there I want to drag people down. It's better to be positive and lift people up.

Sex energy* Good here. Had nice benefit from the retention streak. Day 7 on that. Really good job avoiding lustful thinking. I really kept good focus and avoided being distracted. That's definitely where it starts. This next week will be a challenge as the energy gets stronger

 Cold exposure* Really nice here. Good cold shower even though the water isn't really all that cold compared to winter water. Still always some mental push back.

Eat clean* Good here. Really nice diet.

Phone & computer habits* Better, but still get stuck mindlessly checking my phone. I want to eliminate that entirely

Exercise* Good here. Really solid bike ride today.

moved forward today

[Jai]

Sep 24

Another good day. Good effort overall. Glad I have tomorrow off and I'm taking a rest day to reenergize for next week. I definitely put in good effort all week and made good progress. Today was mostly all positive but later in the day I felt some doubt about my trajectory and felt a little old to be learning something new. These are definitely thoughts to challenge and defeat. Whatever I do I want to come from a place of faith and confidence. That's where I've been most of the time. So this was a rare thought for this week. Most of the time I'm on offense. The big thing is to get back to trusting God in moments like these and look at all the daily progress I'm making which is considerable. If what I'm doing takes time then fine I'm at least going to keep putting in effort. Big thing is to keep my days solid and to keep God first.

Daily spiritual practice* Nice morning session here.

Attitude of service* Good here. Found an opportunity at a meeting to cut cake and pass out the cake. I jumped at this opportunity which is good. I like being on my toes for opportunities to serve.

Mental and emotional states* Good here for the most part. One small lapse into doubt. But really felt connected at times today.

Sex energy* Good. Day 8 on the retention streak. Keeping this area of life clean is so important. If I fall short here I feel the repercusions and my overall well being dips. So this is a priority. And it's really the only thing that will lead to a really off day. So if I keep this clean my other habits are good enough and predictable enough that I pretty much always have solid days. This is the thing that will throw me off course. With this it's also important to keep my mind focused and not distracted. Every time I go somewhere I also need to be focused to not be checking out girls or being distracted. Harnessing this energy is so valuable because it's such a strong force

Cold exposure* Nice shower. Really had good focus.

Eat clean* Good here

Phone & computer habits* Good for the most part but could improve

Exercise*  Nice bike ride, good stretching.

Moved forward today

[Jai]

Sep 25

Day off today. Had a nice meditation session and hang out session with a friend. Good to catch up with him and chat. We're both on similar trajectories so it's nice to hang with someone like that. Also had a really nice morning spiritual session. Got some errands done and did some service. Only negative thing really was lustful thinking. I went to the beach and saw some pretty girls and lost focus and clarity. There is definitely something I can notice when I'm really focused and have a really clear mind adn then the whole tone of my mental space shifts once I have some lustful thinking like that. And it's not like I think being attracted to women or having sex with women is wrong. Just that if I'm in a phase of really having high disicpline in this area even a small thing like this shfits the mental direction and space I'm in. So that was noticeable.

Daily spiritual practice* A couple of nice sessions. This continues to be the foundation

Attitude of service* Good here. Good outward energy, generally helpful.

Mental and emotional states* Mostly good. Definitely positive and in a good spot. Really the only negative was the lustful thinking that threw me off.

Sex energy* Definitely at a higher level so I really have to keep discipline here if I'd like to keep a retention streak going

Cold exposure* Really nice morning shower. I had good concentration and good motivation

Eat clean* Good here

Phone & computer habits* Better today

Exercise* Went for a bike ride

Moved forward today

[Jai]

Sep 26

A good day even though I felt a little sluggish at times. I didn't have the strong motivation or energy that I've been used to having. I felt a little doubt about my computer course and the progress I'm making. I also went into a little fear over the future and money and what I'm going to do. Fortnunatley I didn't stay here long. Hopefully tomorrow I have a really strong start to the day and get back being more confident. It's just that this computer coding course is difficult and sometimes I get a little frustrated or overwhelmed and the goal feels far in the future. I should feel pretty good though becasue I made a ton of progress this past week and hit all my goals. I think a good strategy is focus on the day and make it the best possible and hit weekly goals. A medium term goal is really just to pass this first assessment. I'm hoping that is not too far in the future. I really want to get that accomplished and feel good about passing the first course.

To do this I've been thinking about continuing to practice celibacy and to really harness the sexual energy. When I have this energy I do feel more energized and more focused. It's just that it ends up feeling really difficult at times to do this. Such a challenge. For now I have a nice retention streak going and would like to keep this up. My other habits also benefit from this energy. This is really the toughest thing to bring under discipline and control.

All around a pretty good day though. No major deviations and felt pretty decent, just not at the level I've been at most of the time. It shows how I usually operate at a pretty nice level.

Daily spiritual practice* Nice morning session as always. Gonna sit and do another session here shortly

Attitude of service* Cleaned up the house which was good. Roomate will notice that. Also had pretty decent outward energy for the most part.

Mental and emotional states* Kind of neutral today. Not really on offense, but not on defense either. Just kind of in the middle. I'd like to get back on offense tomorrow and put the pressure on the other team. Come out and have a good start to the week and get a bunch done and live life to the fullest.

Sex energy* Had some impure thoughts today. Had a pretty graphic dream last night and then was in lustful thinking a couple of times today. Still kept the retention streak going but I have to watch the thought world I operate in.

Cold exposure* Really nice cold shower today. I've really been embracing the cold water lately. There will be mental pushback always but once I'm in the water and my body adapts after like 30-45 seconds I start to feel really good

Eat clean* Good diet today, but didn't eat my plate of raw veggies like alwasy.

 Phone & computer habits* Pretty good, not on my phone all that much

Exercise* Really nice bike ride. My hill climbing is getting better

Moved forward today

[Jai]

Mar 6

My review process has faltered a little lately. I went to pen and paper but I think I can get a little more consistent here. So I'm going to get back to doing a review here instead of a written journal. Overall, compared to where I was a year and a half ago I'm not at the same level. My spiritual practice was much more consistent then although I still am pretty good. Other performance things were better also. My motivation was better, my life habits were better, my exercise and diet was better. Even now I keep a relatively high standard, but a year and a half ago I was doing really well. I'd like to get back to that. Part of it is that my whole life seems to be on hold a little bit. I'm studying more than I'm working. I really think I want to get back to working full time in the relative near future.

My whole strategy back then and even now is to put God first in my life day in and day out, put in good effort each day, set a high standard, and move forward a bit every day. Eventually I'll have a really sweet life. It's just taking some time to build the life I really want. It definitely can be a lot of effort and a struggle. But I want to even increase my effort and consistency. I want to feel really motivated and connected and on a good path.

+ Spiritual practice: A decent meditation this morning, going to do a second session right now. So if I can get in two meditations a day I'm doing really good. I've been really missing my wim hof breathing though. I've fallen off of that, I'd like to get back into doing that more consistently. I've been doing that plus cold exposure for 2 years and I've lost a lot of the motivation and feel a bit tired with it. But I know the benefit.

/ Life habits: Okay but not great. Not eating as clean as I can. My exercise isn't intense enough. Like I said all around I'm decent but not at the level I would like.

/ Attitude of service: good in some regards, was helpful around the house. But I also was stuck in self and my own problems today. Didn't have good outward energy. Didn't really feel connected with the world.

- Mental/emotional states: was negative today, was in some doubt and worry. I was also easily irritated. I just felt frustrated with where my life is at. I know I'm capable of more and I'm working hard, it's just the destination still seems kind of far away.

Overall: ready to improve. today wasn't the best day. Probably the lowest day of the past week. So I guess it's good to start a solid review daily. I really want to improve my habits and my experience with the world. I also have to get stronger. I want to get stronger with my workouts, my attitude, my work, etc. I want to really face life with strength.

[Jai]

Mar 7

Really had a solid day. I think I need to take off days from work/study once in awhile. Yesterday was tough because I tried to force it some. I pulled the plug on it and felt refreshed today and had a better day. Also I had more conviction today. Maybe because I'm renewing my commitment to doing a better review. Started with a friend tracking a few habits also. There are some things I want to clean up like time on phone, getting up early, etc. I felt more connected today and more in faith and trust. This is the place I really want to be. Far from doubt and fear and self pity, etc. On off days I seem to fall into doubt. Today was good because I just put in solid effort today and I know I moved forward. That's really the recipe, put in solid effort and move forward at least a little bit every day. So tomorrow I'd like to repeat. There will always be off days, I just don't want to fall into the doubt and questioning everything.

+ Spiritual practice: really nice morning meditation session. I wish I had more time, I think I might rearrange it to do it a bit later so I have more time. Going to do a second session now

+ Attitude of service: good outward energy today. Not stuck in my own inner turmoil and problems. Felt like I was participating in the world and ready to be helpful. Trying to be helpful at work also.

+ Mental and emotional states: Played on offense today. I want to get a nice streak going here. I like it when I'm a week plus on offense. Basically connected, optimistic, positive, engaged, strong, etc.

+ Life habits: Starts with getting up at 5am. Can't hit snooze just have to get up and face the day. There is a huge difference between getting up at 5 or getting up at 5:30 by hitting snooze. Other habits were solid also. Back into cold showers which I've been week on over the past few months.

Moved forward today

[Jai]

Mar 8

Decent day today. I took an assessment for a computer course I'm in. I think I did relatively well. I've been putting a lot of effort in to this for over a year so I hope it works out and pays off. I get my results tomorrow I think. So it was an intense assessment and I unwound some after. So a lower intensity in the afternoon. I did have a good morning spiritual session. Getting up at 5am helps a lot for giving me extra time. Visiting my parents has me out of some good habits. My diet isn't as clean and I'm not as focused on the day. I end up spending a bunch of time just relaxing. I'm glad to see them though. I really want to build a nice future so I got to keep my effort up as high as possible.

+ Spiritual practice: Good morning meditation, going to do a second one now. I want to keep this as the foundation of it all. Make sure my relationship with God is strong and then build my life and future on top of that.

/ Attitude of service: decent but not great. Didn't really have a strong outward energy, although I wasn't stuck in self or down.

+ Mental/emotional states: I'd say pretty good. was on offense today also. Passing this assessment will feel good also. Always some doubt but I think I did okay.

/ Life habits: Strong with getting up early, decent exercise, cold shower. I missed on diet though. I really like cooking my own meals and I'm not doing that lately.

Overall: moved forward today

[Jai]

Mar 9th

Good day and progress. Did well on my assessment so I'm moving on. I like studying but I really just want to work. Sometimes I think about just looking for work soon. Regardless good effort at study and work. I want to follow up tomorrow by going really hard and getting a bunch of hours in. A lot of my habits are solid also but others not as much. Part of it is just staying with my parents so my diet isn't as clean. Ready to keep a nice streak going that I've started. I had a good conviction today that I'm on the right path which is good.

+ Spiritual practice: good morning meditation, going to do a second meditation now

+ Attitude of service: better outward energy today, helped out in small ways. Looking to contribute

+ Mental/emotional states: Was on offense today. Never fell into doubt, fear, worry, self pity, etc. Feeling more directed.

/ Life habits: all pretty good except for diet

Overall moved forward today

[Jai]

Mar 10

Okay performance today. Not great and not super energized. Felt a little dull mentally toward the end of the day. Still overall more positive than negative. Sometimes feeling a bit overwhelmed by my study course. I'd like to make quicker progress. I think it's possible but I have to put more effort and be more efficient. Sometimes I just feel a bit behind. I really feel like working also. But overall I'm doing good things. So tomorrow I want to have a solid day and just keep moving. I think I'm missing living on my own where I can really live clean and have higher discipline. With my parents I end up making exceptions with diet, schedule, etc. I enjoy hanging out but I wish I could have greater discipline

/ Spiritual practice - not a great morning session, interrupted when my mom got up. I should probably get this in even earlier

/ Attitude of service - pretty good in action, but not the best energy. I was a little stuck in self

/ Mental and emotional states - kind of in the middle. Never really in negativity but also not really connected. Just a bit dull and not as energized.

/ Life habits: okay, mostly good. but not the discipline i'm used to.

Even though a kind of so so day I still moved forward

[Jai]

Mar 11

Really solid day. I'm really tired and drained. Good effort all day though. Stayed on task. Had good habits and got a lot done. Felt more capable and energized. Was more in faith and trust also. Found ways to be helpful and did some dishes. My motivation level for my course was better since I think it could be a good possibility to maybe make faster progress. To do this I really have to give my best effort. So I want to try. Making quicker progress motivates me so I want to see if it's possible and do my best. So need to keep a good perspective. Overall I know I'll have really solid days and every so often an off day. When that's the case I can't get down. Also felt good today because I went to a meeting where I'm pretty regular now. Also talked to a girl I saw at the library. Nothing came from it but I like that I'm trying to be more social and meet people. I really want to get on with my life so I want to make all the progress possible in this course so I can start working more and building a nice future.

+ spiritual practice: good morning session, meditation was solid. Going to do a second session now but will probably be short since I'm tired. Overall I've adapted pretty good to my living situation and I"m bringing good effort here

+ attitude of service: much better outward energy. good habits with this also. tried to be helpful with small details

+ mental/emotional states: played on offense today which is where I want to be. everyday is a new day, got to do my best to stay on offense.

+ life habits: pretty good. not as good as if I were living alone but doing okay

overall: moved forward today

[Jai]

Mar 12

Tougher day today. A mix of some good stuff and some not so good stuff. I felt a little frustrated with my studies so needed to take a break. I did get a little more done so that felt good. A little extra effort at the end of the day was good. But being frustrated most of the day I was lazy on some habits. With my course I want to finish and I'm not enjoying the journey. I feel in a hurry and rushed. So I want to do better at trying to enjoy the journey.

+ spiritual practice: pretty good morning session

- attitude of service: stuck in self some. not the best outward energy

- mental/emotional states: was mostly on defense today. wasn't super negative, just was not inspired or conected.

- life habits: made excuses with some habits so not good.

overall: moved forward with my studies, but moved back with my habits

[Jai]

Mar 13

Mixed day. It was an off day so I took some time to hang out with my dad. Also slept in some. I got some coding done that was more relaxed and on a project so it went well. I wasn't frustrated and I was pleased overall with how it went. So that was the highlight of the day. My habits weren't the greatest though and I felt pretty disconnected most of the day. I was irritated it felt like and not really energetic. I'm mostly having good days but days like this come mostly because I fall into bad habits that just lower my overall vibe. I miss working full time and being engaged. Even though I'm studying a lot of hours it's not the same. So I want to get back the motivation I had about a year and a half ago but it's tough with not working more and having a more settled life. So much is up in the air until I start working again.

- spiritual practice: not really that strong at all. Going to do an evening session but I fell short here today.

- attitude of service: stuck in self and my own problems. Not really focused on bring good energy and contributing. Was worried about my own problems today.

- mental/emotional states: not good overall. Was on defense. Even though I had some good effort today my mentality didn't really get in a good spot. so looking to improve this tomorrow

- life habits: not living on my own is costing me. with diet, my spiritual practice, other habits, etc. Overall I'm just making lots of compromises.

overall: didn't move forward today spiritually. was just stuck in my own problems. even though i made some good efforts in some areas overall today was a tougher day

[Jai]

Mar 14

Solid day. After a tougher day yesterday I bounced back pretty good. Got up early even though I didn't sleep so well. My meditation wasn't solid but I had better energy and attitude today. So I'm happy about that. I was productive at work and got a bunch of studying done. I also went to a meeting which was good and was able to chat and hang out some. I'm really liking being in Florida. I really just miss having my own space to have solid discipline. I'm hoping for another good day tomorrow. I'm really tired now so I'm looking to sleep well and bring good energy in to tomorrow.

- spiritual practice: not that strong. really short reflection in the morning. Will try to have a better one now.

+ attitude of service: okay here. better outward energy. trying to be helpful and contribute some

+ mental/emotional states: good here. was on offense pretty much all day. felt good about things overall. having a solid and optimistic perspective is important

/ life habits: not that great. diet wasn't that great, didn't exercise. i'm missing my own space. I really benefit from really having independence.

overall: moved forward today

[Esilda]

@Jai What meditation do you do?  I have been doing research on them I would LOVE to find out your insights here ! I'm sold to Wim Hof at a small price but expensive LT maintenance, the cold showers I'm used to though.

[Jai]

Hello @Esilda My meditation practice is mostly based off of the Thai Forest tradition. I found a monk at a US based temple that has written extensively on the tradition and has a lot of audio resources also. The books are free if you write an inquiry and ask for them they will mail them to you. https://www.dhammatalks.org/ is the site. I also got into some Pali chanting from this tradition also. All that being said more recently I've focused parts of my morning meditation on my intent for the day - how I want my thought/emotional life to be directed toward spirit, how I want to find ways to do service, and how I want to become the type of positive person that lifts others up instead of dragging others down.

I'm also a big believer in Wim Hof. The breathing exercise prior to meditation puts me in a very relaxed and focused state. On top of that the cold showers get blood flow going and it requires a great amount of mental focus. Cold water really clears my mind. I also like WHM because it's not really any tradition but it works... it definitely appeals to the free spirit in me.

What about you? What types of meditation practices do you have? What other types of spiritual practices are you in to. Great work on the cold showers! Every day for me requires some effort. I'm 2 years into it and I'm not as motivated as at the beginning. I'd like to get more motivation.

Mar 15

/ spiritual practice: going to do a meditation now. my morning practice has suffered recently because of my living situation. missing setting aside 30 minutes. I think I just got to get up earlier

+ attitude of service: good outward energy today. felt more oriented and participatory. wasn't stuck in my own problems. I really want to find ways to do small helpful things

+ mental/emotional states: was on offense all day. got up early, i got a bunch done. never fell into self pity or fear so that is good. Was mostly in faith and trust. This is so important since I went to part time work and I'm studying more. It's easy to fall into fear and doubt and think that things won't work out. so I have to do more on being positive

/ life habits: it's a mix. some really good effort here. good exercise and cold shower. good job getting up early. good job studying and getting some work done. negative on diet though

overall: moved forward today

[Jai]

Mar 16

Overall another solid day. Really pleased with the effort. Most importantly I started the day with a nice meditation. That was a good way to make sure I'm putting spirit first. I've been really solid over the past almost two years and I don't want to get in the habit of a substandard or missing morning practice. So in a much better spot when I do this as I normally do. Other than that I felt pretty connected today. I was pretty much focused on the day and on doing my best. Good effort all around with work and study. Found small ways to be helpful also. So I want to keep the momentum going into tomorrow. As long as I don't focus on feeling "behind" and instead focus on my progress I'm in a good spot with good perspective.

+ spiritual practice: in a really good spot today. I had a better morning session. so i have to keep this the priority.

+ attitude of service: good outward energy. better engagement and presence. That's what I really like when I feel like I have a strong presence.

+ mental/emotional states: on offense again. really never fell into doubt, worry, self pity, etc. was in faith and positive. such a good way to live.

+ life habits: overall good except for diet. when I'm with my parents and there are snacks around I end up snacking. i really like eating clean and really just need control over my own diet

overall: moved forward today

[Jai]

Mar 17

Today was kind of a day off. I worked two hours but barely studied. I reflected some. Had some good things and bad things today. I've made so much progress in my study course but it still feels like I got a long ways to go. I really want to work and get on with life. I do feel like I'm ready to make a new push toward improving my habits more and giving even more effort. I really want to give 100%. It also feels good to get back into a more active social life. I'm really looking at getting a place to stay here. So today was kind of a day to reflect and just unwind.

+ spiritual practice: good morning session. going to do a second session now also.

+ attitude of service: good today. found an opportunity to be helpful. decent outward energy. not totally thrown off by bad habits. sometimes a bad habit can just sink my energy

/ mental/emotional states: so so here. although i wasn't negative I also made compromises on some habits

- life habits: some okay but still made compromises which isn't what I want

moved forward today