We are addicted to unhealthy food - please help us.

[youngonce]

Hello, 

My girlfriend and I are addicted to eating fast food, processed food, sugary food, heavy carbohydrate-laden food, and simply overeating in general. It doesn't matter what kind of food it is, I love it all. I eat compulsively and when I binge, I get really high and then crash very low afterwards. I am stuck in a vicious cycle. Ever since I was a child I have eaten this way, I just so happened to have had a fast metabolism back then and stay very active due to playing sports + other physical activities. I am 31 now.  

We are both overweight and I personally feel absolutely terrible about myself - I keep gaining weight, yoyo dieting and losing weight, etc. I am fearful that I may be pre-diabetic and heading towards the road of diabetes or setting myself up for different cancers, ailments, and diseases. I have a history of addictive behaviours including hard drugs, marijuana, alcohol, pornography, masturbation, vaping, coffee, cigarettes, the internet, youtube, love, relationships, etc. I feel as if I am always addicted to something in my life. Currently, I am only addicted to food and masturbation. 

I watched Leo's video on addiction but feel that I need to re-watch it and take notes this time. There certainly is an emptiness inside me right now. When the cravings hit I feel helpless and irritated. I know that I can quit but am struggling really bad. I'm all over the place. I need help. Can you please share your experiences of how you overcame food addiction and where you're at now? Does life get better on the other side? Quitting unhealthy food has been the most difficult addiction for me to kick and I always go back to eating like shit even after having had spells of quitting before, staying healthy, and working out.  

BTW, Despite my addictions, I have been meditating, journaling, reading, and going for walks daily amongst other habits and pastimes.

Looking forward to reading your stories and advice here. I am currently 200ish pounds and 5'11. The most I ever weighed was in 2015 when I tipped the scales at 220ish pounds. I was suicidal then and sought out therapy that I attended on and off for 5 years with a social worker. 12-step recovery doesn't suit me. 

Thanks,

[kossondulola]

@youngonce Just stop eating shit. Period.

If you think you can't, you're apparently not ready to drop this habit. You gonna suffer a lot. Perhaps this will lead even to worse things like cancer or so - yes, things can go bad from this kind of continuous stress. But if you realize it, you can stop it. Yes, it's gonna be painful, you're gonna "lie on the floor and cry like a baby craving for food", but that's the part of the process. Some stop the habit as soon as they realize it, some have to fight it. No golden rules here. Just become mindful of it. Now. Really, it's that simple. Go for vegs etc. You'll see how better you'll feel. And you'll feel a new strength in you, and you'll respect yourself more, and appreciate new freedom, lighter breath and fresh mind. I went through it as well. You can do it. Do it now.

[Elton]

@youngonce hey bro I can feel you I too had a history of addictions including many of them you have stated here.

 

It was on and off all these years,I am not really sure of what really created the massive change.

But from 1st January 2020 I just dropped all hard addictions and a week later I dropped food addictions and stopped eating processed food junk food wheat products and sugar.

The thing that I added to meditation, journalling, reading and exercise was yoga.

I had added this in my routine since October.

While doing all the routine stuff I did, I decided to not bother much about the addictions as long as I was doing the routine like yoga meditation exercise journalling etc.

So I had a desire and all these tools helped me getting more mindful.

I think it was yoga ... Kriya yoga, maybe because I believed Leo and it could be a placebo effect, but whatever it was it helped me ..So do try Kriya yoga, if you can, for six months straight and don't worry about the addictions it will just melt away ..Look up the booklist for some yoga books or go find a class near you.. 

Also think of 2020 as a new decade and an opportunity to change your life it would be a good landmark of change, wouldn't it ?

Also practice self acceptance its the mother of personal development.

[youngonce]

11 hours ago, kossondulola said:

@youngonce Just stop eating shit. Period.

If you think you can't, you're apparently not ready to drop this habit. You gonna suffer a lot. Perhaps this will lead even to worse things like cancer or so - yes, things can go bad from this kind of continuous stress. But if you realize it, you can stop it. Yes, it's gonna be painful, you're gonna "lie on the floor and cry like a baby craving for food", but that's the part of the process. Some stop the habit as soon as they realize it, some have to fight it. No golden rules here. Just become mindful of it. Now. Really, it's that simple. Go for vegs etc. You'll see how better you'll feel. And you'll feel a new strength in you, and you'll respect yourself more, and appreciate new freedom, lighter breath and fresh mind. I went through it as well. You can do it. Do it now.

@kossondulola Thanks for that - I know that you're right about this and I am going to stop as soon as I finish the last of my ice cream and coke later tonight. Tomorrow is a new day. Did you by chance read "The power of now" by Eckhart Tolle? Lol. The present is all we have, the past only exists in our minds, and the future hasn't happened yet. Besides eating cleaner, what other habits, activities, and pastimes have you implemented in your life that have benefited you?  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

14

4 hours ago, Elton said:

@youngonce hey bro I can feel you I too had a history of addictions including many of them you have stated here.

 

It was on and off all these years,I am not really sure of what really created the massive change.

But from 1st January 2020 I just dropped all hard addictions and a week later I dropped food addictions and stopped eating processed food junk food wheat products and sugar.

The thing that I added to meditation, journalling, reading and exercise was yoga.

I had added this in my routine since October.

While doing all the routine stuff I did, I decided to not bother much about the addictions as long as I was doing the routine like yoga meditation exercise journalling etc.

So I had a desire and all these tools helped me getting more mindful.

I think it was yoga ... Kriya yoga, maybe because I believed Leo and it could be a placebo effect, but whatever it was it helped me ..So do try Kriya yoga, if you can, for six months straight and don't worry about the addictions it will just melt away ..Look up the booklist for some yoga books or go find a class near you.. 

Also think of 2020 as a new decade and an opportunity to change your life it would be a good landmark of change, wouldn't it ?

Also practice self acceptance its the mother of personal development.

@Elton Dude, thank you so much for your response. You are an inspiration to me to have cut out the junk food, wheat, and sugar. Do you still eat meat? What do you eat now? Believe it or not, I have been doing yoga on and off since 2007. I absolutely love yoga and the benefits it provides me. The mind, body, and spirit connection is incredible. Focusing on the breath is key and the flexibility it provides makes me feel limber, strong, and overall very happy. Hot yoga (any type) and kundalini yoga are my favourites! 

Much like fitness and going to the gym, yoga has been a struggle for me to practice consistently. Failing to be consistent has been the hallmark of my life and something I know I need to change to be successful/attain mastery in anything. Is Kriya yoga the same as Kundalini yoga? If so, then you're right, it is a must in my life. Beneath you will find a link to my favourite Kundalini yoga kriya/class. 

You're right - 2020 is a new decade, a new leaf, a new time - time to change and live the life I have been dreaming of. 

 

[crab12]

That's great that you have continued meditating, and that the addictions haven't totally wrecked your life. I can relate to your experience of always being addicted to something, i used to binge eat insane amount of junk food, or when I watched a new show I had to stay up all night and binge watch 3 seasons in a row, porn, video games, etc.

21 hours ago, youngonce said:

I am currently 200ish pounds and 5'11. The most I ever weighed was in 2015 when I tipped the scales at 220ish pounds. I was suicidal then and sought out therapy that I attended on and off for 5 years with a social worker.

Your current weight is not bad at all.

Anyway what I found was that all addictions  have 2 motivations behind them: pleasure and escapism. And that I was never able to force myself to stay away from the substance. Whenever I felt the pull towards it, I could keep myself away from it max 1-2 days, then I would always relapse into a disgusting binge. I beat my addictions when I finally got to a mental state of not actually wanting the substance any longer. Like there was no longer an internal conflict inside me - one part wanting it and another part trying to keep myself away from it. 100% of me didn't want it any longer.

Pleasure is the easier one IMO. Say I get a craving for a gallon of ice cream, then I imagine myself eating the whole gallon and receiving the pleasure. I vividly imagine the pleasure of eating ice cream. I can see that that is all there is to it - it's just a sensation in the body, and it last for such a short while, the moment ice cream runs out the pleasure is gone. Doing this "ruins the surprise" and ice cream doesn't seem as tempting any longer, because all I get is this momentary sensation of pleasure, which I don't actually care about. Then I can ask myself, is the sensation of pleasure, that I would receive from eating the ice cream, worth it? And the answer almost always comes up "no, I don't care about the pleasure of eating ice cream, I want to do what I actually want to do in my life, fuck ice cream." And at that point the craving fades away.

Escapism was much more difficult. I used to have ridiculous general anxiety, social anxiety, people pleasing, low self-esteem. I felt completely alone, isolated, trapped in life. I hated living. I wanted to escape from this nightmare. And the addictions provided the escape hatch I was looking for, so I would just indulge in them because they let me forget reality. It took me a lot of work to get to a state of mind that I no longer wanted to escape from reality. I want to be here now, I don't want fantasy or escapism and it feels like a waste of time at this point. What are you trying to escape from? Is there some pain or emptiness or anxiety you are trying to get away from?

[kossondulola]

15 hours ago, youngonce said:

Did you by chance read "The power of now" by Eckhart Tolle?

Yes, I did. ET was one of my first inspirations when I turned into self development, many years ago.

15 hours ago, youngonce said:

Besides eating cleaner, what other habits, activities, and pastimes have you implemented in your life that have benefited you?  

This is a long story. Shortly: there are several "outside" habits I have conquered, not just eating, working out, but also leaving alcohol and smoking and all the physically toxic shit. It doesn't mean I can't have a glass of good whisky on an occasion, but this is way different now that it was before. But the most important part is internal change - starting living way more in now, being mindful of surroundings, of things and people around, I started observing instead of fearing everything, analyzing and concluding instead of fairy-tale dreaming without action. After years of fears, struggle with myself and anxiety, I managed to move out of my comfort zone, left well paid, peaceful 9-5 job in Europe. Since that, I was living in different places (now in China) which was completely unthinkable for me a few years ago. All that started from starting working on consciousness, meditation and contemplation, psychedelics at some point came on the way - this was like speeding up the time of development by several orders of magnitude. Anyway, my point is, if you become conscious of your inner daemons/bad habits and you're honest with yourself, you are in a very good position to conquer them, just don't lose your faith in yourself. Remember, that you have created all of it ;-) You can easily take over your fears and addictions if you let your "higher" self working on that.

[intotheblack]

 

[youngonce]

@crab12  Hey man, 

Thanks for taking the time to reach out. I like what you’re saying regarding getting into a mental state of not wanting it. I have reached that point with all other addictions that I had before and know that I can do it with my food addiction as well. I am also going to do some goal setting today and get back on track in that regard. 

I can also relate to what you’re saying about pleasure and escapism. Food has comforted me my whole life, especially sugary, flour and wheat-based food, comfort food, fast food, etc. I have strong associations of these foods since childhood and whilst eating them they initially give me a sense of comfort and wellbeing, however when I crash, well, you know how that goes.

I as well have general anxiety and all of the other anxieties you mentioned. Food helps mask those things, especially at social gatherings or parties when there are a lot of people. It’s time to own up to my feelings, really feel them, and stop these destructive eating behaviours once and for all. 

I like Leo’s addiction video and how he talks about just sitting in a room for one hour and feeling the cravings course through my body. It’s time for me to be mindful and tackle my inner demons and face them head-on. This food addiction is a massive impediment to my well being. 

Congratulations to you by the way for overcoming your shortcomings and dealing with your addictions, it’s very inspiring to me. 

@kossondulola Wise words, man! Congratulations on facing your fears and living life the way you want to. What you've said has struck a chord in me and it's inspiring to know you've accomplished and that I can too. I'd love to visit China one day after COVID-19 has been resolved. Who knows, maybe we could meet up one day and eat some delicious Chinese food. Wishing you the very best on your journey. 

@intotheblack Thanks! I just watched this now  I love Dr. Mate's work. 

[youngonce]

17 hours ago, Keyhole said:

Clean out your cupboards if you can, throw away unhealthy food.
Go to the store and buy only healthy food.
A lot of fruits, veggies, lean meats a few times a week, nuts, yogurt, whole grains, organic eggs - stuff like that.
When you feel like binging, make a green smoothie and drink that instead.
Print pictures of what will happen if you stay on the diet and pictures of what will happen if you go back to eating the way you have been on the fridge, on the cupboards.
Keep a picture of the consequences with you when you go shopping to deter from buying bad foods.
Allow yourself one cheat day every two weeks to a month (It is actually healthy for the body to eat these bad foods on the rare, rare occasion.)
Write yourself a list on the benefits of weight loss and why you deserve this new way of viewing food, why you deserve to feel good about your body.

 

@Keyhole Brilliant information, thank you very much  I like what you said about posting the pictures on the cupboards, fridge, etc. Thank you!

[Nahm]

On 4/20/2020 at 7:36 PM, youngonce said:

I know that I can quit but am struggling really bad. I'm all over the place. I need help. Can you please share your experiences of how you overcame food addiction and where you're at now? Does life get better on the other side?

We’re the same height and I was at the same weight (220) and have weighed about 150 for around 20 years, with no inklings for the habits of old. My advice would be to realize no program etc will ‘work’ if the thinking isn’t changed. Thought & feeling are prior to every action & behavior. I would begin letting go of all thoughts & verbiage of “quitting” and “addiction”. It is self defeating, because you’re thinking, of yourself (self referential thinking). It’s thinking from a perspective of “need”, “not good enough as is”, and identifying with that which you no longer want. That perpetuates the feeling you don’t want. This underlying thinking is subtle, yet paramount to all you want to change. Listen to feeling. There is no such thing as a “bad feeling”...there are thoughts about yourself which are not true.

Instead, make a dreamboard. Put everything you want on it. Food, fitness, energy, hobbies to learn, an ideal job or business, places to go...doesn’t matter what, just literally everything you want.  Not what anybody else wants for you, and not what you think anyone else wants for you, or what you should want. Put what you actually want on the board. 

Then, whenever a thought feels resistant, in discord with feeling - stop and inspect it. The discord & feeling of resistance is because the thought is not aligned with what is on your board, with what you want. Choose a better feeling, true for you thought, which is aligned with what you want. Getting what you want out of your head, sheets of paper, or devices - and on a big dry erase board in front of you is life changing. All is relative and life is busy & goes by quickly. Not your dreamboard though. That’s holon. That’s your absolute stake in this relativity. That is what all is relative to. What you want. Having it stationary, updating it as you go - not being able to ‘lose track of it’ - total game changer.

The universe is pure magic, and unconditionally loves you. That is, reality itself is without conditions. We are condition makers. So make them. We’re chooser. So choose. Watch reality line up with what you want, it’s mind blowing. Let resistant thoughts go, and love every which way you can. Love yourself! You simply could not be more worthy or deserving of this love! Reality works in mysterious way, don’t cling to any ‘how’s’ as far as how what you are wanting comes. It already is. It always has been. This is just you getting in the driver’s seat with conviction. 

 

Give this a try if you like...

 

[youngonce]

@Nahm What you wrote was very profound for me to read. I agree with everything you said and will try using the dream board. It's early days for me still but I know I can do this. Thank you! I look forward to trying your shake as well .

Edited April 23, 2020 by youngonce

[Nahm]

@youngonce ??

[Bittu]

Make small changes every day. Success is 1% daily, not 200% once.

 

Stay conscious when binging happens. I was addicted to drugs for several years and basically every time I got high I just remained conscious and one day I just dropped the habit.

[youngonce]

@Bittu Great advice, will do. Many thanks !

[Jai]

We are surrounded by bad choices. Bad choices are normalized with the abundance of processed food, fast food, junk food etc.

Also binge eating is really common I think. I'm in really great shape, I'd definitely say top 10% for my age (40), and yet I binge eat from time to time on processed foods. I'm pretty strict with a vegan whole foods diet, and I've dropped even processed tomato sauce for spaghetti so I can make my own. Next on the list is making my own bread and pasta. This is a whole notha level of commitment. The reason is I've noticed when I get a taste of processed food I tend to binge eat. This is the case with crackers, cereal any type of snack like that.

All the processed food, fast food, junk food etc. is designed to be addictive. I see it when I get a taste of it so I'm dropping it completely. You are definitely not alone with this problem. This problem is everywhere. But, it's still your problem and you gotta do something about it to have better health. It may be easier for me to stay away because I have better baseline health, like exercising and see right away the problems. Plus I get pretty good results right away which keeps me motivated.

You can do this though! I'm of the opinion if a person solved their biggest problem and that's all they did for a year they would be ahead. I think about this with porn. right now I'm 9 months no porn and that was my biggest personal issue and problem. This past year I didn't advance with money or career at all, I actually took some time off and now I have to find a job with all this unemployment and crisis. It kinda doesn't matter, this has been an incredibly productive year since I've made a lot of great progress with no porn. Maybe look at the diet problem like that. Make it a number one priority and fix your health. If you really solve it every other area of your life will be improved.

The other thing that has helped me with diet and avoiding all processed junk food is simplicity. I eat the same thing everyday for breakfast and lunch and I have about 5 dinner dishes I rotate. My fridge and cupboards are basically empty. All I eat is oatmeal (the real stuff not the quick cook flavored stuff) and a banana for breakfast, nuts and fruit for lunch. For dinner I always cook a ton of vegetables in an instant pot with either pasta, potatoes, quinoa, brown rice, or different types of beans (not in a can, I cook them myself now). That's it and I feel great. I basically never buy anything that is in a box.

My taste buds have adapted, I look forward to eating food like this. It's a tough change because like I said we are surrounded by bad choices. With porn I don't watch any of it. With bad food I never buy any of it. If I buy it and try it I eat too much and don't feel good about it.

Good luck with your progress! You can do it!

[youngonce]

@Jai Hey man, thanks for taking the time to write that out. Congratulations on quitting pornography and best of luck on finding a new job!

[youngonce]

@cypres Thanks !