Loving toxicity

[neovox]

My childhood (from what I imagine), comes from extreme dysfunction, poverty, drug addiction, abuse/domestic violence. I'm not a victim, but this was what I was born into. Fear, insecurity, in and out of fight or flight mode was the norm as a kid. My late teens- early twenties were a drug addled escape. Late twenties- early thirties were a miserable ebb and flow of recovery and relapse. I've come a hell of a long way in the past 6 years. I am at peace with all of it these days. This was the crucible that made me (as cliche as it is).

 I disconnected or keep a healthy distance from the toxic personalities despite our family relations. I have nothing but love for them, but their behavior isn't going to change. I have no intention of trying to change their trajectory, but I would like to be loving. They are so low consciousness and lacking in love that it is a major challenge just to know how to love them, but these are the ones that need love the most.

Its the cost of expressing love that I question. They exploit, abuse, manipulate, blame others, victimize themselves at every turn. Their behavior can be so toxic that just short interactions drains tf out of me, to put it lightly. 

I remember using Leo's videos on "how to forgive'' and "how to let go of the past" to help me heal. Now I want to learn how to love extreme dysfunction. But I do have self bias. I've been protecting myself by loving from a distance. There is a cautiousness on my end, of their destructive culture. That cautiousness comes from fear. I value my well being, and their behavior often threatens it. I don't judge them, but it is what it is.. 

Is there a more inclusive approach other than, well, exclusion, that I am missing??

[Leo Gura]

6 minutes ago, neovox said:

Its the cost of expressing love that I question. They exploit, abuse, manipulate, blame others, victimize themselves at every turn. Their behavior can be so toxic that just short interactions drains tf out of me, to put it lightly.

The cost of true love is your life.

That's what Jesus showed you.

As long as you worry about yourself, your love will be limited.

But with that said, in practice, don't hang around toxic people. It's that simple. Unless you deliberately wish to do so to test and grow your love.