Your Thoughts On "recruiting" People To Personal Development

[Extreme Z7]

It's probably good advice to know that it's almost never a good idea to try to recruit someone engaging in low consciousness behavior into personal development work because it usually doesn't end well. Its common for these people to act offended, deny their need to improve, or at the very least just flat out ignore you. I've personally experienced these kind of reactions from people during my first months of personal development. I would like to know what your thoughts are on this topic though.

My personal thoughts are: "It's good advice but there's a much bigger danger to not ever speaking about it. You can talk occasionally about personal development to people who need it but don't expect them to like what you have to say. Leave the information like a seed in their minds that may or may not grow into something useful someday."

[Mal]

@Extreme Z7

3 hours ago, Extreme Z7 said:

Its common for these people to act offended, deny their need to improve, or at the very least just flat out ignore you. 

"You're fucked up, and I "know" how you're fucked up.  Here, listen, I can show you some information and methods so that you can be less fucked up (like me) and then you can recruit more fucked up people so that I don't have to walk around in a world feeling it's full of so many fucked up people"

[Extreme Z7]

@Mal I guess that would be how a low-consciousness individual doing personal development would react to a low-consciousness individual who isn't doing it. Although your example is quite cartoonish.

[Mal]

@Extreme Z7

That's how Ken Wilber describes how your ego hides out in 2nd tier.

I won't tell him you said his worldview is "cartoonish"  

[Extreme Z7]

@Mal LOL, I guess it was just my own mental projection, though. I watch a lot of cartoons. I mean look at my profile picture which I drew myself, it's a freakin' cartoon.

[Mal]

22 minutes ago, Extreme Z7 said:

@Mal LOL, I guess it was just my own mental projection

Who knows? I'm sure that I know nothing. 

[reez]

 

[Extreme Z7]

19 minutes ago, Mal said:

Who knows? I'm sure that I know nothing. 

That's all the wisdom you need in life. It's always refreshing to see someone with that kind of mindset.

[Nathalie]

I agree with you but this is not really personal I think..

11 hours ago, Extreme Z7 said:

You can talk occasionally about personal development to people who need it but don't expect them to like what you have to say. Leave the information like a seed in their minds that may or may not grow into something useful someday."

so many people tell so..

[charlie2dogs]

13 hours ago, Extreme Z7 said:

It's probably good advice to know that it's almost never a good idea to try to recruit someone engaging in low consciousness behavior into personal development work because it usually doesn't end well. Its common for these people to act offended, deny their need to improve, or at the very least just flat out ignore you. I've personally experienced these kind of reactions from people during my first months of personal development. I would like to know what your thoughts are on this topic though.

My personal thoughts are: "It's good advice but there's a much bigger danger to not ever speaking about it. You can talk occasionally about personal development to people who need it but don't expect them to like what you have to say. Leave the information like a seed in their minds that may or may not grow into something useful someday."

recruiting people to personal growth is sort of like proselytizing people to religion,  best get your own life in order and be an example, and once fully awakened enough to know what you are doing in reality, you may choose to take on the responsibility of guiding others and sowing seeds in their minds, by then you will fully understand the consequences of those actions

[Jani]

I have tried to present personal development stuff to some of my friends. I was stunned how no one didn't give a fuck. Like if you're interested in your own life then you cannot be not interested in personal development, but I guess I was wrong. After a while getting same kind of responses I gave up with it and soon realised that I'll have to just be a good example and master this on my own first.

[charlie2dogs]

1 hour ago, Jani said:

I have tried to present personal development stuff to some of my friends. I was stunned how no one didn't give a fuck. Like if you're interested in your own life then you cannot be not interested in personal development, but I guess I was wrong. After a while getting same kind of responses I gave up with it and soon realised that I'll have to just be a good example and master this on my own first.

that is the right answer

[Extreme Z7]

@Spacious It's usually the case that the people who need it the most will be the most closed-minded about it. That's why it's so easy for us to fall into the trap of helping them. It's a sad irony.

Edited July 4, 2016 by Extreme Z7

[Epiphany_Inspired]

@Extreme Z7, your first post is my experience too, completely. I know I am always saying this, but the "shit sandwich" method seems to work best for me...if I have any chance of getting through, often I do... though sometimes, when they realise there is real work involved... they can give up very easily.... anyway:

Bread: I say a genuine compliment or gratitude about the person. This is a nice habit regardless.

Shit: I tell them the issue *with a spoonful of sugar*, and give them a realistic option for evolution, simplified.

Bread: I tell them my vision for the amazing them, the new and improved version without making the current model sound obsolete. I'm as loving and genuinely compassionate as possible trying to raise their spirits for new possibilities and greater satisfaction in life... because like you said, on some level regardless of any niceties, I am still pointing out a perceived "flaw" from their perspective, and that can seem hurtful.

[Mal]

None of you know what you are talking about. 

Understand what the Bodhisattva means.

The Bodhisattva is a self realized being who doesn't see the "flaws" in others, because there are no others left to save. 

The purpose of the Bodhisattva is to stick around and help others awaken from the dream. That's it. 

Unless you're a Bodhisattva level awakened then mind your own business because you're doing more harm than good with your narrow distorted view of "their issues"

(Which are really YOUR issues that you need to work on first : That's why you see them in others)

If you want a real example of a Bodhisattva I think @Ayla is at that level. Read her latest offerings

Edited July 4, 2016 by Mal

[Epiphany_Inspired]

@Mal I, in no way, claim to be any sort of expert, and I agree, I likely do not know what I am talking about (I am neurotic and dysfunctional, for sure). At the same time, I have the right to an opinion regardless of what you may perceive my evolutionary level may be. I am in total agreement with you about all of us having our own issues, and much of the time, the mirroring of our problems in others is very true, and quite evident. That said, making the assumption that in every situation that sharing our perspective would "do more harm than good" seems to be a very limiting belief.

I can think of numerous examples, where I have shared my insights, and it put others on the road to improvement, and they have been truly grateful (like overcoming an addiction they had suppressed). For some people this is their life purpose, to help others in this way, we should not completely deny that  insight from others can be amazing, transformative, and totally fucking beautiful! This is part of why we share our thoughts with others and form communities! I can think of examples of others pointing out my issues that clearly did not exist in there own life, and personally, found their insight vastly benefited my journey, (even if it was difficult to swallow at first, ha ha).

I totally agree with you that the Bodhisattva is super rad! I do not even remotely wish to down play the beauty in your spiritual belief. For me though, it is wise to take everything with an open mind a grain of salt, including this principal of mirroring ESPECIALLY if we see that at times, we are able o be a force for positivity and truly help in the lives of those we care for.

[Mal]

7 hours ago, Epiphany_Inspired said:

At the same time, I have the right to an opinion regardless of what you may perceive my evolutionary level may be.

Just ignore what I say.  Better still, block me.

I'm just recording my thoughts in relation to "my" other thoughts. I'm not trying to tell you what to do.  

When you get to my "highly superior level" of understanding you will know where I'm coming from (in joke)

Edited July 10, 2016 by Mal

[Mal]

7 hours ago, Epiphany_Inspired said:

@Mal I, in no way, claim to be any sort of expert, and I agree, I likely do not know what I am talking about (I am neurotic and dysfunctional, for sure). At the same time, I have the right to an opinion regardless of what you may perceive my evolutionary level may be. I am in total agreement with you about all of us having our own issues, and much of the time, the mirroring of our problems in others is very true, and quite evident. That said, making the assumption that in every situation that sharing our perspective would "do more harm than good" seems to be a very limiting belief.

I can think of numerous examples, where I have shared my insights, and it put others on the road to improvement, and they have been truly grateful (like overcoming an addiction they had suppressed). For some people this is their life purpose, to help others in this way, we should not completely deny that  insight from others can be amazing, transformative, and totally fucking beautiful! This is part of why we share our thoughts with others and form communities! I can think of examples of others pointing out my issues that clearly did not exist in there own life, and personally, found their insight vastly benefited my journey, (even if it was difficult to swallow at first, ha ha).

I totally agree with you that the Bodhisattva is super rad! I do not even remotely wish to down play the beauty in your spiritual belief. For me though, it is wise to take everything with an open mind a grain of salt, including this principal of mirroring ESPECIALLY if we see that at times, we are able o be a force for positivity and truly help in the lives of those we care for.

You're right.  I'm sure I was coming from just "one" thought, instead of trying to hold a whole philosophy inside my head at the same time. 

 

[Epiphany_Inspired]

@Mal , @Extreme Z7 a similar topic came up with a friend of mine that is a much higher consciousness than myself. What he said was something like this; When considering recruiting/ helping another, look for previous patterns. Did your past involvement yield positive results? If yes, great! If no, consider that some people are just not ready, others will actually "use" our recruiting attempts to get us to do their work for them, draining too much of our energy. I saw the patterns right away....those I know I've helped evolve, and others that just spout perpetual excuses, judgements, blame, etch... at this time, they are either incapable of taking enough responsibility for themselves to begin a personal development journey, or... they simply do not want our "brand" of suggestions.... lol...Hope this helps you conserve energy in your lives too, it was a great insight for me!

[Consept]

I think all humans in general have a thing in them where they want to teach others. With regard to self development for the person you're trying to introduce it to its not really distinguished from say a religious person or a political person or just someone who lives hedonistically. Everyone has an idea of life that they think works for them and because of that they want to pass it on, because they either want to help other people experience this 'truth' that they've found or they want to strengthen their own belief by having someone else validate it, these are the 2 things that draw everyone to want to spread knowledge. If you think about it a religious person honestly believes that religion will help people as much as you believe self development will help people.

The fact is people have to be at a certain stage to really want to take on a new method of thinking, basically they have to just really want to grow and get the most out of life, or their life situation has become so bad that whatever direction they take can't be worse than whats happening now. This is why a lot of people get caught up in cults. If someone wants help or knowledge they will seek it. 

From personal experience I felt the same way when i first started getting into consciousness and self development, I told everyone i cared about and thought they may be interested, about it, i bought the power of now for like 5 people, (as far as I know only one read it lol). The truth is regardless of how you package it and how passionate you get about it, very few will take it on and really practice, they may get it intellectually but to take it another step is really something they have to come to themselves. Really the best way to get your message across is to be the example yourself, if you're truthful you are trying to get people into it (as i was) without really being that far along the line yourself, as if it will progress you further if someone buys into you. So moral of the story just work on yourself and those that need and want help will find you. If i want to make money I'll seek out those that have made money already not those that are not that much better off than me but have this great system to make money.