Before you TRASCEND your suffering you will have to FACE all of your suffering?

[Javfly33]

Why it is that sometimes that when I start doing serious spiritual work it feels that I am slowly trascending the bullshit of my identity, becoming super conscious detaching from my thoughts and realizing I AM NOT my identity and I can be anything, but other times actually I am getting towards the healing and facing all of the wounds of my personhood? 

They seems opposites. 

It just happened today. I broke in tears today after a couple of weeks of feeling like I was "untouchable", I was doing kundalini yoga 3 hours a day last week, very intense breathing exercises that I thought I have found gold and going to become free of my identity, but today actually it went 180º and I had an intense realization of an emotional wound I havent´healed. I started crying and accepting myself and this happened I think because the ego wasn´t present so emotional release was allowed. But still I have to accept like 98% of my demons.

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Do I basically have to stop behaving as ego (judging myself), and start being more God (loving myself) to heal completely?

Edited April 19, 2020 by Javfly33

[Javfly33]

15 minutes ago, modmyth said:

What does your heart/ gut say, if you're still for a moment? If anything?

That obviously I need to heal, but it seems it's never ending. 

When I enter high states of awareness it seems all of this problems are just thoughts, so when "emotional releases" like this happens even though they feel it should happen, other part of me is saying, maybe this is just more BS

[Haumea2018]

7 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

Do I basically have to stop behaving as ego (judging myself), and start being more God (loving myself) to heal completely?

Yeah.  When you behave as ego you are repressing the wounds, so they can't be healed.

4 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

That obviously I need to heal, but it seems it's never ending. 

It does end, but it can take a long time to work out all the issues.

As long as there's a strand of ego, the repression continues to some degree.

But I think at least you get what the whole game is even about, which is huge, so just have patience.

[DreamScape]

Well God wants to live through you as a divine expression of individuality. So its okay to be a person and have feelings and do all the things a person does. What this just is, is realizing your true nature, your infinite nature. 

[ivory]

It's important to get clear on what you mean by suffering. There's no end to sadness, fear, anger, etc. It's all part of being human. That said, as you progress down the path, those emotions have less power over you. There's more space around those emotions.

As for trauma, some of that will have to be processed in a way you weren't able to when you were younger. I went through a period that was so intense, and for so long, I thought it'd never end. Then again, I had a really shitty childhood. Some people go through that and other don't. Again, some of this stuff may not be cleared up a 100%. And, it doesn't need to be, you just need to get to a point where the emotional body is relatively clear.

As for self-judgement, a lot of it results due to behaviors. Make it a goal to live a healthy lifestyle and most of your self-judgement will cease.

My advice would be to meditate and pay attention to discomfort in the body. You need to get to a point where emotions no longer bother you (mostly). Lastly, get your shit handled and live a healthy lifestyle. Eat healthy, have healthy friends, and get rid of all vices and distractions.

Edited April 20, 2020 by ivory

[Eph75]

You can't "run away" from you shadow. You can run and it may feel good in that moment as you are being distracted with the going-ons, but sooner or later you catch a glimpse of that shadow, and it is as real as it was before you started running. 

That is why. You can have flow at times, pushing forward. But you have to stop at times, to face your past and shed those tears. Process what is found within that shadow so that it eventually can leave and you can go on with a "less dense and dark" shadow.

Once you get rid of (accept or let go) the most emotionally challenging parts of your shadow, it will be much easier to continue working on the remainder. It will be more delightful than it will be emotionally challenging/upsetting. Leaning more towards previously unknown aspects than know pains. 

Edited April 20, 2020 by Eph75

[Zanoni]

Let the suffering wash away in the tsunami of love