i dont wanna be awakened

[effy01]

Today after digging deep while locked down in my home alone , i realised that i actually dont wanna be awakened , i just wanna experience life as it is in this human form , i wanna feel evry emotions as it is , im okay to being afraid of my death , i dont wanna be right , i just wanna be this simple human i am , i just dont want self developmnt anymore , it just created this resistence of me , when i started on this i just accept my self less and less like if i always need to do something to love my self more ...... maybe im wrong but thats what  i feel

[Verdesbird]

12 minutes ago, effy01 said:

Today after digging deep while locked down in my home alone , i realised that i actually dont wanna be awakened , i just wanna experience life as it is in this human form , i wanna feel evry emotions as it is , im okay to being afraid of my death , i dont wanna be right , i just wanna be this simple human i am , i just dont want self developmnt anymore , it just created this resistence of me , when i started on this i just accept my self less and less like if i always need to do something to love my self more ...... maybe im wrong but thats what  i feel

after reading things that you dont wanna 

i realize that you misunderstood what all this is about

but maybe the next post by the next member will clarify more onto this subject than my words...

[Raptorsin7]

@effy01  The path to awakening is good. You will feel better, and you will improve your life.

It's like saying, I don't want heaven. I mean sure if you don't want it then no one can force it on you. But heaven's awesome, why not experience it?

[Javfly33]

10 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

@effy01  The path to awakening is good. You will feel better, and you will improve your life.

It's like saying, I don't want heaven. I mean sure if you don't want it then no one can force it on you. But heaven's awesome, why not experience it?

Depending on his development (and age) Some people probably will be better off living life than pursuing awakening tbh.

 

[Raptorsin7]

@Javfly33 You can't do both?

[Forestluv]

@effy01 You aren’t ‘wrong’ to feel this way. You aren’t ‘wrong’ to feel any way you feel. Whatever feelings arise are perfectly arising as the should be. I would be genuine and true to those feelings. There have been times I went too hard to fast and my mind and body said “Whoa!! Slow your roll”. Similar to when I learned how to ski. At times I was skiing downhill too fast and my mind-body told me to slow down. . . . There have been times it felt right to take a break and get involved with other things. Start a new project or hobby. This has been very helpful to me. What I’ve found is that if spiritual and personal development work is my genuine interest and passion, it will call me back eventually. There have been times I’ve taken a year or two off. At one point, I was learning a foreign language and traveling through foreign countries. After a while, I felt a calling to get back involved with spiritual work. I found that I had a new perspective and a new zest for it. I was no longer burned out. 

Other times, I’ve found it helpful to simply reduce the amount of time or find new “spiritual” pursuits. If I am doing spiritual practices that I can’t stand because “I should” or “I have to”, I won’t get much out of it. For example, there was a time I was doing sitting meditation everyday and it became dreadful. I was just going through the motions and getting nothing out of it. Yet I thought it was what I was “supposed to do”. Then I got into long distance running and entered a new spiritual realm of discovery. My passion was lit up. I could barely sit in meditation for 10 minutes, yet I could run through nature “in the zone” for two hours straight. My deepest realizations during this era of my life appeared during those solo runs in the woods (not during meditation). 

[Javfly33]

10 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

@Javfly33 You can't do both?

Well, yeah, technically depending on what we understand by "living his life".

I meant that in the sense of living as a human identity withouth wanting to go any further.

 

[Javfly33]

10 minutes ago, Serotoninluv said:

Then I got into long distance running and entered a new spiritual realm of discovery. My passion was lit up. I could barely sit for 10 minutes, yet I could run through nature “in the zone” for two hours straight. My deepest realizations during the era of my life appeared during those solo runs in the woods (not during meditation). 

Oh man I had some really special moments while running through nature too, I thought I was the only one haha. I gotta go back to doing it 

[bejapuskas]

@effy01  The mind is your friend, it just makes sure you don't do something you don't really feel like doing, just don't create an unnecessary resistance to this path, the gateway to know the Truth is always open.

[effy01]

you guys dont understand me , maybe im wrong im not saying that i have it all sorted , i just has this insight  : what if the we are incarnated to this life , to forget that we are god , i feel like we want to exit human life as soon as we are incarnated ...

[effy01]

@Serotoninluv  you are right , thats what i feel .

[effy01]

@Javfly33 i think i should fine my dance between the two .

[loub]

Perhaps Matt Kahn will be your guy. He always makes the point that once one has completely transcended the world and abides as pure consciousness, you come back into your body, your personality and start to embrace and include everything rather than needing to discard and transcend.

Perhaps start with this one:

I think what you feel is not a desire for less truth but a desire for more love in your life. More embraciveness and humanness. Perhaps you are just outgrowing outdated assumptions about what this path is all about.

[bejapuskas]

 

 

[Nahm]

@effy01

And yet of course, in your sincerity, you’re awakening. 

??