Just Imagine

[mandyjw]

@DrewNows Because Jenna Marbles is my idol. Also it works with my schedule well and because most of the people who follow me also follow Leo so it's not to compete with his videos. 

[DrewNows]

5 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

@DrewNows Because Jenna Marbles is my idol. Also it works with my schedule well and because most of the people who follow me also follow Leo so it's not to compete with his videos. 

 

Oh Jenna...love it

so when do you think you will be ready to compete with Leo? 

have you looked into the meanings for the days of the week? 

1 minute ago, Johnny5 said:

9 minutes ago, DrewNows said:

 

Not sure what you mean, so probably not. But I've returned to this forum several times from the very beginning (februari 2016) under different names.

Oh I was thinking of someone else, the name just came to me ? 

[mandyjw]

3 hours ago, Johnny5 said:

Not sure how to tell anymore. On the one hand the pattern of my life right now looks like I'm being birthed and receiving guidance and education in preparation for something that's yet to come (despite what it looks like by "ordinary" navigational standards, which looks a lot more bleak).

But on the other hand I know that's all just a dream too, whether it's bleak or not, and that hopes lie, that I need to snap out of it or rather snap out of "me". And yet, it seems like the only way to do that, is to follow that in-dreams guidance.

Sometimes it seems like the simplest thing and all I have to do is sit back, watch it happen, take my cues, etc. And other times it's super confusing and I have constant doubts about what to trust, what I should be doing, if anything, and about getting lost in all the mentation around it that is constantly flipping and flopping from one side to another, etc. And knowing at some level that it's all bullshit and none of this is real, going nowhere, and just for "laughs".

It's not either/or, so it really is like having your cake and eating it too. I'm feeling this a lot lately, and also there are times when it's cloudy again and I can't quite see it. Those times are not your fault. Like a toddler learning to walk, you get back up again after you fall and over time you fall less and less.

As for having your cake and eating it too, for example I'll really enjoy and relish the thought of reading a book without holding myself to feeling bad when I completely lose interest in the book. I realize that the idea of the book in its whole form is just some idea and expectation I've trained myself to and that I'm completely free to love and have books and intuitively flip to pages or just enjoy the look and feel of them on the shelf. There's nothing I need to get from them. I realize that books are a concept rather than something actual, and I that can only read one word at a time. In a way you could say I've "given up" books, but in reality I've only unleashed the freedom to enjoy them and love them as never before. 

Before I always had this ingrained backlash before i got into consciousness work at all, when I would get really, really happy, I would come up with a massive atomic bomb negative thought to destroy it all. "What if this goes away?" "What if some tragedy happens?" Now when those thoughts occur, I'm able to see the illusion/perfection in what is, and just sheer enjoy it. 

You could think of it this way too, most people spend their whole lives in the pleasure/pain mode. The fear of death comes up and they quickly change to chasing the next thing as distraction. The path we've stumbled upon here is presenting the monster of death/illusion/reality up front to be confronted, now. Instead of it lurking in the woods for the next 10 miles of the trip, we're facing it and accustoming ourselves to the fact that it is only a threat in the mind and means no harm. 

2 hours ago, Johnny5 said:

I just can't seem to manufacture a preservation agenda anymore.

Yesterday when I cut my finger I realized that the fear and pain came in so uselessly AFTER I cut my finger. Especially when I had to change the bandage on it, threatening to make me pass out, hit my head on the toilet and be in even more trouble. I mean really, WHY, what's the point in that reaction?  I don't know why I can only see it for what it is. Next time I'll be more mindful when I use a vegetable peeler. Maybe. If I even remember and aren't thinking about something else. But all that regret and pain was completely useless. I wasn't in control of any of it. You can drop the preservation agenda, and still care very much for your life and your body. You care even more because the preservation agenda was actually really counterproductive and a danger in itself. I've done so many things like this, giving myself an infection because I used peroxide on a wound so much I prevented them from healing. That's the sort of dangerous neurosis your giving up. Life is still very much a wonderful priceless gift. So priceless it can't be lost. 

3 hours ago, DrewNows said:

 

Oh Jenna...love it

so when do you think you will be ready to compete with Leo? 

have you looked into the meanings for the days of the week? 

I don't want to compete but help enhance and expand if anything. No, didn't know it had a meaning. 

Edited July 9, 2020 by mandyjw

[mandyjw]

@Johnny5 Ok, feel free to PM me if you'd like/can. 

[mandyjw]

@Johnny5 No problem, I don't mind posts in my journal.  

[mandyjw]

@Johnny5 I haven't read it but I think he is talking about the same thing as Roger Castillo talks about it as no doership. That's something I've been contemplating/observing a lot lately. 

 

[mandyjw]

I've noticed that Adyashanti, Jed McKenna and Leo fall much more on the truth/profound spectrum of enlightened teachings. While there's a love/childlike wonder/hilarity side that one might need to explore more to counter-intuitively go deeper into the true and profound. Maybe it's my bias but I see that as a common imbalance on the forum in general towards the truth/profound side. Because that was also my bias when I finally opened my mind to the law of attraction and Abraham Hicks shortly after a breakthrough happened and blindsided me. 

Just thought it was some sort of demon-possessed materialism gone to seed before. 

Everyone is different though.

 

[DrewNows]

19 hours ago, mandyjw said:

I don't want to compete but help enhance and expand if anything. No, didn't know it had a meaning. 

well i guess you could think of it as a natural energy or feeling to each day, which can even be associated with a color, chakra/planet and certain expressions or motivations are in alignment habitually. Anyways sort of fun stuff i started noticing just reflecting off certain days of the week and what i feel driven to do. Also the knowledge i've been diving into regarding astrology, spirits and esoteric interpretations, have been great tools for this. Wednesday is communication/expression (ruled by Mercury). This all helps align self expression with the universal energies

Quote

 

The days of the week all carry their own special vibration. Of course, the specific vibration of the day will be influenced by the planets (astrology) , your own life circumstances and your own personal vibration, however each day has its own vibe that runs like an undercurrent for 24 hours.

In Ancient times, the days of the week were named in accordance to the planets. Each day was special and signified a time to utilise the energy of each planetary god.

It is interesting when you look back at the energetic meaning of the days of the week as they still organically ring true today. It is no coincidence that Saturday and Sunday are rest days, whereas the other days are considered part of the working week.

Here is the energetic tone to each day of the week and how you can use this energy to to flow through life-

 

real basic understanding for each day here if you're interested https://foreverconscious.com/energy-behind-days-week

[mandyjw]

@DrewNows Interesting!

 

M: I was undeceived, that is all. I used to create a world and populate it — now I don’t do it any more.

Q: Where do you live, then?

M: In the void beyond being and non-being, beyond consciousness. This void is also fulness; do not pity me. It is like a man saying: ‘I have done my work, there is nothing left to do’.

 

"You tend to separate things in time and then look for causes." 

I copied the line above and somehow it got pasted into google accidentally and obsessive compulsive disorder came up first.  Too frickin' funny. 

[mandyjw]

So last night I went back to the cemetery. Last time I was there I left the red rose on Dr.P's grave. It wasn't there anymore but in its place an animal had pooped right on his grave. 

"Through your love
existence and nonexistence merge.
All opposites unite.
All that is profane
becomes sacred again.”― Rumi

Read this is a Laura Doyle email this morning.

"Complaints are lazy desires." 

[mandyjw]

I started this crazy war with my thoughts although I don't remember it ever beginning or why, and then the very thing that was fighting and waging war with itself realized it was itself. I suppose that I could sign a treaty with myself, I could celebrate this date in the future of the day the war resolved. But we're still gonna forget and be really pissed off at each other for a long time. 

Thoughts are thoughts.

Sigh.

Who would have thought? 

Speaking of being pissed off, I'm confused about something. This morning Mu peed all over the house, ran around in circles and peed behind the love seat, under the table, everywhere. I swore and yelled. No more pretending I'm not mad. Then that was that, over pretty quick, felt good, no harm done. Am I just back to reacting this way about stuff? 

I noticed that my physical anger reactions feel good a few months ago, but then that's when I'm conscious of them, not attempting to control them. So I suppose that's the answer to my question. The difference between "consciousness" and "unconsciousness" in actuality is so very subtle and yet all consuming, that it's not.  

 

Edited July 14, 2020 by mandyjw

[mandyjw]

appear amid

a pyramid

a peer amid

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow's_hierarchy_of_needs

"What a man can be, he must be."

 

[mandyjw]

This has no continuation to the following entry and nothing to do Maslow, (or does it?) but Roger Castillo's description (or Ramesh Balsekar's?, doesn't matter) of the psychological self is a differentiation that I've never heard before. It seems to fit quite brilliantly. It's like a subtle differentiation following after a huge slap across the face that explains why the slap was warranted. 

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

Dave's sawmill

Come see what I saw

If you saw what I see

a Zigzag vision it must be

 

? Couldn't help myself,,,,

[mandyjw]

@Zigzag Idiot  I love it. 

[mandyjw]

Before I discovered where Dr.P's house had been and starting going and having insights there, I was running by there and saw a fox run across the road. I found the fox holes while exploring in the woods. I went to Dr.P's and found that it had killed a white rabbit and eaten in there, mid-summer where it found a white rabbit I don't know, maybe it stole it from a farm. It left one foot. I wondered if that was a lucky sign, or a terrible one. Later last summer I went up the step where the old gazebo had been and saw and surprised the fox directly on the other side. It stared at me and I stared at it terrified it might have rabies and not run, but it did. 

Last week I made a bunch of art with rabbit and fox themes. The rabbits had a mystical flair to them, like the white rabbit or the moon rabbit and the fox theme was with flowers and roses. 

Edited July 15, 2020 by mandyjw

[mandyjw]

Filmed this on Monday to post today, ended up in a weird argument this morning on the forum with Leo. Whatevs. 

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

@mandyjw  Great topic! Thought this might interest you. Maybe/maybe not,,,, Most of the following is just me parroting what I've heard Ken Wilber articulate. Food for thought, anyway but I've swapped the word enlightenment with being in relation to levels. This brings to mind the idea of states of Consciousness and stages of Growth like in Spiral Dynamics. States of Consciousness change often and come and go. Every now and then we all experience high rarefied states but they don't stick . But as our slow stage growth grows the higher states become more steady as Ken Wilber has pointed out.

 

A relevant quote from Maurice Nicoll

DIFFERENT LEVELS OF BEING

“The Work is to make us live on a higher level of ourselves. For example, suppose you begin to internally consider. You start mak-
ing accounts, making out that others owe you, thinking that you are badly treated, worrying about what others think of you, and so on. This is an activity of a lower level in yourself...Now suppose you begin to dislike the inner taste of considering. Then when internal con- sidering starts in you and you notice it you will feel uncomfortable. Why? Because you have already begun to feel what a higher level
is like. You feel uncomfortable by reason of the contrast. You have seen something better. You are now in a position to make an inner choice...Better states belong to higher levels of yourself. They are in you, as different levels...But you have to see all this for yourself and get to know where you are in yourself. Ask yourself: ‘Where am I?’ With what thoughts and emotions are you going, with what moods, with what ‘I’s?” V. 1, p. 162 

[mandyjw]

@Zigzag Idiot  Yes, it seems to be an incredibly important step to take. I made a new neurosis out of being "present" and having conscious thoughts or no thoughts. I wanted to judge myself as the one who was doing that so I could be ok. At some point you get really up close with the "uncomfortable" as it becomes the only substance of "me" left at all. Just a tension or energy in the body, no thoughts are wrong, no thought is more than just a thought. 

A thought is a thought. 

Knowing this feels like cheating. No, a mistake. No, an accident. No, like nothing ever happened to anyone. 

            

[mandyjw]

“The Bushmen in the Kalahari Desert talk about the two "hungers". There is the Great Hunger and there is the Little Hunger. The Little Hunger wants food for the belly; but the Great Hunger, the greatest hunger of all, is the hunger for meaning...
There is ultimately only one thing that makes human beings deeply and profoundly bitter, and that is to have thrust upon them a life without meaning.
There is nothing wrong in searching for happiness. But of far more comfort to the soul is something greater than happiness or unhappiness, and that is meaning. Because meaning transfigures all. Once what you are doing has for you meaning, it is irrelevant whether you're happy or unhappy. You are content - you are not alone in your Spirit - you belong.”

Laurens van der Post

 

meaning (n.)

c. 1300, meninge, "sense, that which is intended to be expressed," also "act of remembering" (a sense now obsolete), verbal noun from mean (v.). Sense of "significance, import" is from 1680s.

meninge

The meninges are three protective membrane layers surrounding the brain and spinal cord. They are composed of the pia (closest to the CNS), arachnoid, and dura (outermost layer), and contain blood vessels and enclose the cerebrospinal fluid.

mean (v.1)

"intend, have in mind;" Middle English mēnen, from Old English mænan "intend (to do something), plan; indicate (a certain object) or convey (a certain sense) when using a word," from Proto-West Germanic *menjojanan (source also of Old Frisian mena "to signify," Old Saxon menian "to intend, signify, make known," Dutch menen, German meinen "think, suppose, be of the opinion"), from PIE *meino- "opinion, intent" (source also of Old Church Slavonic meniti "to think, have an opinion," Old Irish mian "wish, desire," Welsh mwyn "enjoyment"), perhaps from root *men- (1) "to think."

From late 14c. as "have intentions of a specified kind" (as in to mean well). Of a person or thing, "to be of some account, to matter (to)," by 1888. Conversational question you know what I mean? attested by 1834.

 

I don't mean to be mean if you know what I mean. 

Oh man. I've read and looked at that word so much it doesn't have any  _______ anymore.