Finding a girlfriend

[28 cm unbuffed]

For the longest time now, I have this strange dilemma in my mind: "should I pursue women or just wait for the one". 

I know how it sounds, but don't get me wrong here. I do not believe in fairytale stories, but thinking scientifically about this stuff, in this era, there are more and more woke people on YouTube, that are sharing their stories, about how they found the one, after going through the journey of healing and fixing their shadow issues. 

It's just spiritually / metaphysics at its core - you just find a person that mirrors your vibration. 

My issue is - I am divided here. Looking for girls to bang my way to the one or just wait for the one? 

I dedicated years of my life to develop myself to the level, where I finally can say, that I love myself.

That was my goal, before going on a journey to find a girlfriend. I am here now. And I do not want to fuck all of this up by banging some random girl but at the same time, I'm horny as fuck lol. And I think, I just need someone that will tell me "it's ok dude, go get some fun, it's not gonna ruin your progress, chillax". 

Uhh, what to do, what to do.. 

Edited April 15, 2020 by 28 cm unbuffed

[Austin Actualizing]

"The one" will come into your life if you are socializing regularly and you are a great guy yourself. You attract what you are, not what you want. You can sleep with women, just don't manipulate them or lead them on. @28 cm unbuffed

[integral]

Try a site like this https://www.consciousmatch.com/

Tell me how it goes. 

April 15 2020 7:20pm, Log #1: Blind Human Trials Administered. 

[Roy]

You can be a sexually active dating person that's conscious. Notice negative connotation you're describing is only coming from you, nobody else.

Just be honest and straight forward as possible with all the girls you meet. Really define what you want and what you're looking for so nobody gets hurt. That's what I did. That way I didn't waste my time or theirs. What's really messed up and what a lot of people do (and is a huge problem in pick-up) is lie either consciously or unconsciously about their intentions so they can extract what they want out of the other person (like sex). Don't be that guy.

It's important you meet a lot of different people to find out who you are most compatible with anyways. You will learn a lot about yourself. Not every encounter has to be a fairy-tale just like you said! Even if it's just a lot of first dates you are still learning. If you don't see it going long term at your core don't lie to yourself and drag it out for your own convenience, that's devilry.

[Nahm]

What you want is already on it’s way. Just notice resistances and let them go. It’s about getting out of your own way, not how anything has to come to you. You’ve assumed the one won’t be the first one. Be open.  Wherever it could be said she comes from, reality, that’s the real one. Pure magic. Highly convincing. 

[Aris]

I think it’s worth pausing a girl’s search for quarantine and will limit it to online dating 

[28 cm unbuffed]

Quick update on this topic:

I found enough courage to ask a random cashier girl for a phone number. I think that was what created dissonance in me: that urge to prove something to myself. This just was keeping me in this strange thought loop: should I just go for meeting girls or focus on myself and my bussiness right now.

The key to everything is: you’ll never fucking now, until you accept yourself as a human being, that makes mistakes and try to find out what is the right choice by EXPERIENCE. Fuck me, so simple, yet the mind is so clever  

Just let yourself to make mistakes, even when conceptually you know that these are just stupid things and ego stuff. That speeds up the process by a lot and let’s you to find „the good” in „the bad”. 

[Hello from Russia]

1 hour ago, 28 cm unbuffed said:

Quick update on this topic:

I found enough courage to ask a random cashier girl for a phone number. I think that was what created dissonance in me: that urge to prove something to myself. This just was keeping me in this strange thought loop: should I just go for meeting girls or focus on myself and my bussiness right now.

The key to everything is: you’ll never fucking now, until you accept yourself as a human being, that makes mistakes and try to find out what is the right choice by EXPERIENCE. Fuck me, so simple, yet the mind is so clever  

Just let yourself to make mistakes, even when conceptually you know that these are just stupid things and ego stuff. That speeds up the process by a lot and let’s you to find „the good” in „the bad”. 

If you decide to go into that dating route, be prepared to be getting massively distracted from your business. There is almost no way around it, unfortunately.

[28 cm unbuffed]

@Hello from Russia

Yeah, I am trying to figure out my priorities right now and how to go about it. Rationally speaking, I think getting money and pimp my looks / get a nice car, etc. is the best-case scenario, to get into dating. Or find something in the middle, where I do everything that I have to do and find some time for dating too. 

I think this topic was created to answer the question - is it worth to date women when you are 6-7/10, let's say, or is it better to get yourself to higher levels and then start doing it.

It's not even a question just about girls. Living full monk mode is hard and I think it's better to have mediocre girlfriend, mediocre car while doing all of this to make the process easier and then transition higher from that point. But maybe I'm wrong, maybe I should go all in, hardcore. 

I wonder how did Leo go about it, I am not sure if I am even going to have enough time for all of this, practically speaking. I think I should just sit down and sort these things out to create a game plan, I am sure, that getting financial freedom is something that consumes me and motivates me the most right now.

I just want to get lust out of the equation and thoughts like "oh shit I am wasting another year of my life, being alone, where I could be dating girls". 

 

Edited April 17, 2020 by 28 cm unbuffed

[Hello from Russia]

11 hours ago, 28 cm unbuffed said:

@Hello from Russia

Yeah, I am trying to figure out my priorities right now and how to go about it. Rationally speaking, I think getting money and pimp my looks / get a nice car, etc. is the best-case scenario, to get into dating. Or find something in the middle, where I do everything that I have to do and find some time for dating too. 

I think this topic was created to answer the question - is it worth to date women when you are 6-7/10, let's say, or is it better to get yourself to higher levels and then start doing it.

It's not even a question just about girls. Living full monk mode is hard and I think it's better to have mediocre girlfriend, mediocre car while doing all of this to make the process easier and then transition higher from that point. But maybe I'm wrong, maybe I should go all in, hardcore. 

I wonder how did Leo go about it, I am not sure if I am even going to have enough time for all of this, practically speaking. I think I should just sit down and sort these things out to create a game plan, I am sure, that getting financial freedom is something that consumes me and motivates me the most right now.

I just want to get lust out of the equation and thoughts like "oh shit I am wasting another year of my life, being alone, where I could be dating girls". 

 

But women are way more complex than cars. Mediocre car won't bother and limit you that much, but a mediocre human being can. Mediocre girlfriend may project all her baggage into you and you may find yourself constantly reacting to it like a hamster in a wheel just so you have a consistent pussy in your life. 

Maybe you'll be able to handle it well, I don't know. Just giving you my opinion\perspective

Edited April 18, 2020 by Hello from Russia

[28 cm unbuffed]

“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.”

Easier said than done, but yeah, if you are bothered by something, it's not the something, it's still you, that are bothered.

[Tim Stretton]

I agree with Austin Actualizing, “the one” will match who you are not what you want or she wants.  I find that if she wants the ABC or the XYZ, so to speak, she is not for me.  I am really taking my time at the moment, even at 54.  I am looking for a relationship of genuine commitments without requirements.  I am thinking that if the relationship — or the people in the relationship — has/have requirements, then it is not suited and not compatible.  If you two are both authentic with each other, there is nothing (much) to work on.  Just be!  

[GodDesireOnlyLove]

@Tim Stretton my mother find her true lover at 50. So keep it lit man ?? 

[ADD]

@Tim Stretton Wow insightful words, i feel they resonated deep within me. Thank you.