Feeling ashamed of being smart

[28 cm unbuffed]

Why do I have this strange self-sabotage mechanism, that I feel kind of ashamed of being smarter and having higher IQ than most of the people? It's bizarre.

I do understand, that this might have been my mechanism to just fit into society, for people to accept me, but it's fucked up. 

It might also be the fact, that most of the people that I know, with high IQ, are also bad people. For me, the better you are, the smarter you are at the same time.

How to get over it? I figured, that it also might be some kind of being brainwashed by society stuff (being a bad guy is cool, and bad guys always lose, so I'll sabotage myself to lose in the end).

It's frustrating because it's like a backlash mechanism, whatever I start, I fuck it up in the end eventually, at least, that's how it was my entire life, now I am learning to let go of this strange urge.

What I am asking about is - what might be another cause of it? The "root" of this cause? 

Thank you in advance for your answer. 

[Natasha]

@28 cm unbuffed High IQ does not make one a happy, fulfilled person, but high EQ (emotional intelligence) does. Work on raising your emotional intelligence. A lot of people with high IQ suffer from all kinds of personality disorders and live in perpetual state of disalignment with reality. And I know folks who are your seemingly average joe, yet they are content and at peace with themselves and the world.

[Raptorsin7]

@Natasha How do you raise your EQ?

[28 cm unbuffed]

My EQ is high as well. I got there thanks to my IQ, by understanding one simple fact. 

Everything is a mirror. What you send, you receive. How you treat others, others will treat you. Simple physics.

To get there, simply learn to love yourself more and treat yourself with more compassion and kindness. That way, treating others with compassion, kindness, understanding, and love will become easier. Learn to understand yourself better. This way you will be able to empathize more with others. The more you are a friend to yourself and treat yourself good, you will be able to share that with others. 

From a practical point - relaxation techniques, psychedelics, breathing exercises, clean diet, exercises, basically - everything that will balance hormones and emotions in your body, so you can control them, in other words - observe them, instead of following them and their lead. 

[28 cm unbuffed]

@Natasha

I never said that I am not a happy person, I am. I am the happiest person that I know. That does not mean, that I should stop developing myself and this thing is still on my mind, which stops me from reaching higher levels. Maybe I misunderstood your point here, correct me if I did.

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, 28 cm unbuffed said:

How to get over it?

I got news for ya. You ain't as smart as you think you are

[Natasha]

1 hour ago, 28 cm unbuffed said:

Why do I have this strange self-sabotage mechanism, that I feel kind of ashamed of being smarter and having higher IQ than most of the people? It's bizarre.

Perhaps, as an intelligent person you realize the vanity of ambition and all the rat race that goes with achievement and worldly success. There is a study that scientifically proved less ambition more happiness and peace in life. Brains of hippies and Buddhist monks were identified as 'happiest' among all other participants'. Not surprised.

 

[LastThursday]

3 hours ago, 28 cm unbuffed said:

Why do I have this strange self-sabotage mechanism

Because many of us are addicted to drama and a good story of struggling against adversity. How else do we get noticed by other people? How else do we make our ourselves interesting? How else do we become heroes? Intelligent is boring.

[28 cm unbuffed]

@Leo Gura

It's not about being not being humble enough or something. It's not about not being confident either.

It's more like saying joking about myself to humiliate myself, not to show myself as a smart person, just to fit in, as I described in a post. I am 100% honest here - my problem is not being too cocky, I already got that covered. 

@Natasha  @LastThursday

What you are saying here is really interesting. I developed a huge spiritual ego and I right now I'm at the stage of my life, where my priorities and values turned upside down. I went through dark night of the soul process and I am basically an awakened being. That left me somehow empty, 

I could just sit all day, playing video games or become a monk in the mountains, but that is boring as fuck. I want to conquer the world now.

 

[Raphael]

@28 cm unbuffed Do people assume that you're smart by barely knowing you or just by looking at you?

[28 cm unbuffed]

@Raphael

I think it's after really getting to know me better. I do not "look smart", act smart, I do not feel the need to show that I am smart. 

I prefer to be a normal dude for people around, I don't have anything to prove. it's natural for me, after knowing someone better, to advise him about something, to have deeper conversations. And this is the moment, where most of people recognize that I am a smart dude.

[28 cm unbuffed]

7 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

I got news for ya. You ain't as smart as you think you are

Projection  

Edit: fuck me, if I was really confident about myself being smart, I could've interpreted it as "yes, I am smarter than I think I am", but I got triggered there. Thank you Leo. 

Edited April 16, 2020 by 28 cm unbuffed

[Raphael]

@28 cm unbuffed

I'm asking because I personally experienced this. I was not trying to prove something, but I was just sharing my ideas or staying quiet while people were talking. Some people also thought that I was smart only by looking at my physical appearance, or maybe it's my vibe or my energy that makes them say that.

All of this is funny because I don't consider that I'm smart.

[PenguinPablo]

Go where people smarter than you reside. You won't feel very smart for too long. Possibly even incompetent. 

[28 cm unbuffed]

@Raphael

Yeah, you sound like me. 

@PenguinPablo

This is exactly what I need to do, find a new tribe, someone to really "compete" with, smart and woke people.

Awesome, thank you.

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, 28 cm unbuffed said:

It's not about being not being humble enough or something. It's not about not being confident either.

It's more like saying joking about myself to humiliate myself, not to show myself as a smart person, just to fit in, as I described in a post. I am 100% honest here - my problem is not being too cocky, I already got that covered. 

I was being cheeky.

That's a low self esteem issue. Which means lack of Self-Love.

Love yourself!

Check out Nathiel Brandon's exercises from Six Pillars of Self-Esteem.

Or just fucking fall in love with yourself. You are beautiful and perfect.

The only reason you are worried about fitting in is because you don't love yourself enough.

[Peanut]

I recognise this same thimg in my self. Would literally self sabotage while playing games or having an argument and act lazy/stupid to not stans out to much, for me i think this was maybe not so much about being smart or w/e dependa on how you define samart but i have an intuitiv sence of what is logical and strategically correct, that i for one reasons or another became ashamed of and tried to hide, i think it May have to do that i feel bad when i just completly break other pepoples views in an argument cus i see where they are not making sence. 

The defense mechanism was very deeply rooted in me and Im not sure I have completly healed it yet, im currently in The dkots and healing inner Child so i suppose this Will help me let go of that behavior. 

 

I suspect it is the same for you and you need deep healing in order to ler it go. 

[bazera]

@Leo Gura

Quote

Love yourself!

How can we do this? It just seems so abstract, I don't know how to love myself. Does this mean accepting whatever I find as me unconditionally? Does loving myself mean to accept fully the way I am? 

[28 cm unbuffed]

@Peanut

What you are saying makes sense. I get guilty about getting angry, when I try to convience someone about something. 

It might be about not being confident enough to trust yourself and your own choices, opinions, values. I am only smart in my own head, it’s not experience based knowledge. 

Yes, that is exactly it. 

@Leo Gura

Thank you again. 

Edited April 16, 2020 by 28 cm unbuffed

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, bazera said:

@Leo Gura

How can we do this? It just seems so abstract, I don't know how to love myself. Does this mean accepting whatever I find as me unconditionally? Does loving myself mean to accept fully the way I am? 

Of course all that and much more.

It's a deep topic which I can't explain in a forum post.

Start by watching my Love episodes.