Women's beauty or pornography?

[brugluiz]

What's the fine line between women's beauty and pornography? If a woman is titty and big butts or has very curvy forms, is she a porn model or a woman's beauty model?

How to know if what you like is women's beauty or pornography?

Liking curvy women is the same of pornography?

Just relapsed after 30 days (NoFap) and it came to my mind.

[ZZZZ]

Are you looking at women and admiring their form, or imagining what you would do to them (and masturbating)?

[universe]

Reality doesnt work in categories.

There is no problem unless you want to create one.

[TrynaBeTurquoise]

3 minutes ago, modmyth said:

This is such an odd question. Pretty much anything is pornographic or suggestive depending on the context and the intent.

Generally though, culturally (and biologically speaking), those of us with sizable T&A do end up coming off as more sexual simply for just existing the way we are physically.

I see you flexin 

[Preety_India]

 

Porn changes the way men look at women and their perception towards them. They start getting attracted to a specific type of body especially the one they watch often. 

The funny part is that the quality of sex depends really on chemistry and not on the woman's body. 

A woman with big tits and ass can also be boring in bed whereas another woman with a flat body can have  a great experience with sex and knows how to get it done. 

It ultimately depends on the person who you're with and not on the body type or size. 

Same goes with men. Not necessary that a guy with a hot bod and a big (that) is going to be great at sex. These are perceptions. 

Sex is about chemistry in the bed and a certain compatibility. 

You might get turned on for a while but getting turned on = is not sex. Sex is a whole different thing. Unless you are only interested in masturbating at sexy pictures. Masturbating = is not sex. 

Sexy and sex are two different things. It's not necessary that a sexy man/woman are going to be great at sex. There are people who enjoy great sex or are a beast at it without looking sexy. Applies to both gender.. 

With my second ex, we used to get sexual with each other and find each other sexy but the sex was still boring. It lacked sexual chemistry. There was no problem with his or my appearance, we used to get turned on looking at each other but the sex wasn't great, use gk feel ordinary. With my third ex, the sex was amazing. I was the same person. He was sexy too. The sex was effortless and the sexual compatibility and chemistry was perfect. So the sex was great. Appearance doesn't decide it. 

So whatever way  you look at a woman or whether you find her sexy or not, the final destination  is still a long way. Until you have a real relationship with her, you wouldn't know the nature of the sexual chemistry between the two of you. Till then it's only mysterious speculation. 

Too many men fall for that bullshit.. A woman will try to attract them with large tits and then when it comes to sex, she is not even interested. She was only looking for attention. 

This I came to know from my ex boyfriends and their stories with their exes.. 

You only figure out everything about it all after experience in romance and sex. Experience is king. 

 

 

Edited April 18, 2020 by Preety_India

[28 cm unbuffed]

How about Kim Kardashian? 

She is not the smartest human being, but she is really aesthetic and has big tits and big butt at the same time. Her face is really beautiful looking. She is not my type but just saying. She lacks delicacy, subtlety, and beauty (for my taste). She is too "wild", too eccentric, too dumb, just like Kanye, lol. 

But still - there you have a pornstar and a model at the same time.

I read this quote somewhere: "hotness dies with age, beauty doesn't". And it's so true. It's like when women say about guys "he has this something in him", but they are not able to describe what it is. I am looking for the same in a woman. Undefinable. 

Edited April 18, 2020 by 28 cm unbuffed

[LaucherJunge]

@Preety_India
This is a very sophisticated view of that matter. Absolutely agree with you and can confirm from my own experience.

There are very few people who see the other dimensions and shapes sex can take, this is the actual problem here.
They are stuck at low conscious body focused sex, that's why the womens looks are primary.
Yet completely dismissing looks is the wrong way either from my view, since it plays a role in chemistry as well.
You may have different dimensions of sex and all are higher then the simple bodily sex, yet being focused at only one dimension is always a big limitation. The holistic picture is to combine all dimensions body included.
The question then becomes is a sexy body really what serves you the most in this holistic sex? Maybe a body that will make you less horny would be the balanced approach.

One point of yours I don't fully agree with.
When I used to watch porn my attraction towards female bodies became way more broad. Because to some degree I've still been discovering my own sexuality through porn, did it corrupt my views on sexuality and the female bodies? Yes for sure, but it's not in matter of being focused on a single body type but focused on the quality of different body types. But I can of course just speak from my experience here.
 

Edited April 18, 2020 by LaucherJunge

[Preety_India]

@LaucherJunge I wouldn't completely dismiss the role of appearance in sex. What I meant was that looks can't decide how sex is going to be.. A sexy body does not translate as good sex. Good sex will depend on many factors and the most important being  the sexual chemistry between the two. This is only decided in the bed. You find the person  attractive (like me and my ex were attracted to each other's body but couldn't make it into great chemistry in bed) even body focused sex needs interest, charisma, the hormonal flow and the tuning which I call compatibility. 

Often the bodies are great to look at (for both gender) but right when they have sex they are bored or unable to keep it going or one will climax before the other. 

Like with my ex, he had a problem of premature ejaculation. He would already (you know) before it even began and then I wouldn't get to enjoy it and even when he got good at it, it felt like ordinary regular sex. Nothing special. 

But with the third ex, it was amazing like we both got hooked at it. 

So appearance can fool a lot. 

 

[StarStruck]

Back in the day, a bikini was highly sexual. A women showing her belly was like showing her private parts. The notion of pornography changes all the time. 

[LaucherJunge]

@Preety_India
I figured that you don't dismiss it, that was apparent from your post. Just shared my view on the matter and what most people are hung up on in my view.
And as I said I completely agree with that.
Although I also see a lot of expectations that you seem to have. Like the expectation to climax at the same time is something I don't really understand. After all real sex shouldn't be focused on the climax either way, but I guess that's just my view and also it's not as if everyone only could climax once.
I understand when that's a desire to climax at the same time and to do that from time to time or even always if both want to is fine, yet the expectation is what kinda seems a little backwards to me.
Why do you expect someone to always be able to keep going? I wouldn't expect that from my girlfriend.
I guess it's a matter of preference as well, but I wanted to point that out.

I understand that it would be a problem if you are never really satisfied, as you describe it with your ex. Yes I see how that's a reason to end it. But there is nuance to this stuff as I pointed out above.
Keep in mind you not being able to enjoy it is simply a matter of your own psychology. There would have been ways to make it enjoyable for you two possibly without you even knowing. Or maybe not, of course that's also a possibility that the chemistry was just too far apart.

 

Edited April 18, 2020 by LaucherJunge

[Preety_India]

6 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

Back in the day, a bikini was highly sexual. A women showing her belly was like showing her private parts. The notion of pornography changes all the time. 

So true. 

The notion of  facial and body beauty also changes all the time. 

Funny how the mind works. 

 

[Preety_India]

3 minutes ago, LaucherJunge said:

I understand when that's a desire to climax at the same time and to do that from time to time or even always if both want to is fine, yet the expectation is what kinda seems a little backwards to me.
Why do you expect someone to always be able to keep going? I wouldn't expect that from my girlfriend.
I guess it's a matter of preference as well, but I wanted to point that out.

Climax is an important step in sex. Without it the person feels dissatisfied or not reached the level they wanted. I guess it's just a natural expectation. It can be laid off sometimes but then the quality of sex doesn't feel great. This is just my preference. Maybe others are okay not always having it. 

 

4 minutes ago, LaucherJunge said:

Keep in mind you not being able to enjoy it is simply a matter of your own psychology. There would have been ways to make it enjoyable for you two possibly without you even knowing. Or maybe not, of course that's also a possibility that the chemistry was just too far apart.

That's the point of sexual chemistry and compatibility. If they both cannot make it enjoyable then they are not suitable for each other. But I was more suited with my third ex because the sex was effortless and there was no need to put extra effort to make it enjoyable. It was naturally enjoyable. I'd call it perfect match in bed.. 

[StarStruck]

1 minute ago, Preety_India said:

So true. 

The notion of  facial and body beauty also changes all the time. 

Funny how the mind works. 

 

It is all about what we are use to. 

That is why I try not to watch porn. It raises the male’s standards too much and it is an easy fix. 

I mean why put in the hassle to look for a partner when there is an easy fix? 

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, StarStruck said:

It is all about what we are use to. 

That is why I try not to watch porn. It raises the male’s standards too much and it is an easy fix. 

I mean why put in the hassle to look for a partner when there is an easy fix? 

OH my God, you're so right on it. 

You almost stole my thoughts. 

That's why I stopped watching porn. It raises expectations in me from my partner in  the bed. I tend to tell him to do what the guy in the video does.. It's just not a good thing to do. 

It raises expectations for both men and women.. 

After leaving porn I was able to enjoy sex in a more natural way with my partner. 

I was addicted to porn.. Then I figured it just wasn't the most natural way of looking at sex.. 

Now after stopping porn I feel much more free and I can find a lot of men attractive.

 

 

 

[LaucherJunge]

36 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Climax is an important step in sex. Without it the person feels dissatisfied or not reached the level they wanted. I guess it's just a natural expectation. It can be laid off sometimes but then the quality of sex doesn't feel great. This is just my preference. Maybe others are okay not always having it.

This is only the case for sex lacking the holistic view. Real sex is not dependent on climax, you'll feel even more satisfied then the climax ever could make you, it's just a piece of work to get to that point. And of course the traditional climax is not suddenly vanished, it can always be optional.

38 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

That's the point of sexual chemistry and compatibility. If they both cannot make it enjoyable then they are not suitable for each other. But I was more suited with my third ex because the sex was effortless and there was no need to put extra effort to make it enjoyable. It was naturally enjoyable. I'd call it perfect match in bed.. 

Yes this is true, you could argue that putting the work to make it work in the first place is a part of the chemistry and compatibility.
That's nothing I would argue against, can only agree with this. But don't take it as an excuse to underestimate what can be achieved, because if you have the perfect partner right in front of you and would dismiss him before even trying and doing the work, then yeah, i guess you get my point.
 

[Preety_India]

@LaucherJunge agree 

 

 

[StarStruck]

55 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

OH my God, you're so right on it. 

You almost stole my thoughts. 

That's why I stopped watching porn. It raises expectations in me from my partner in  the bed. I tend to tell him to do what the guy in the video does.. It's just not a good thing to do. 

It raises expectations for both men and women.. 

After leaving porn I was able to enjoy sex in a more natural way with my partner. 

I was addicted to porn.. Then I figured it just wasn't the most natural way of looking at sex.. 

Now after stopping porn I feel much more free and I can find a lot of men attractive.

 

 

 

That is my experience too. We must be soul mates. I mean, it is a matter of perspective. Like you said: you compare your partner's performance to what you saw on the internet, instead of just enjoying the moment. I noticed that when I'm not in the moment it affects the other person too. I'm still not sure what it is, it might be selfishness.

[Preety_India]

2 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

That is my experience too. We must be soul mates. I mean, it is a matter of perspective. Like you said: you compare your partner's performance to what you saw on the internet, instead of just enjoying the moment. I noticed that when I'm not in the moment it affects the other person too. I'm still not sure what it is, it might be selfishness.

Totally! 

 

[Parththakkar12]

The problem with porn is objectification. If there's objectification going on, it primes men to not respect women. This is a very subtle energetic thing where if you feel the dynamic, you'll realize whether it's an objectifying dynamic or not.

A woman can be fully nude and come across as sexually empowered and respectable. Likewise, she can be fully covered and come across as a sexual object. This is relative to the specifics of the situation like her own attitude towards sexuality in general, the culture of the country, etc. Being objectified is a dangerous situation for a woman as it can attract men who don't respect you.

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Parththakkar12 said:

Being objectified is a dangerous situation for a woman as it can attract men who don't respect you.

Totally agree on this one.. 

Porn causes objectification that's why I stopped watching it. It made me feel like a man was just a tool of my sexual satisfaction or pleasure. 

It induces the mind into thinking that sex is just for pleasure. 

But in real life, sex is so wholesome. It's not just an exercise but a way of bonding and connection. 

After quitting porn, I am much happier with my sex life because now it's more biological than mechanical. Now it's more wholesome and natural and a way to connect with my partner on a biological level. 

I don't look at him as a sex machine anymore..