this human needs to be loved

[The observer]

this human is me the individual meat bag who is typing

needs means that its a deep abandoned and repressed desire for me that now it mutated in to a need

to be loved means to be accepted for who i am unconditionally and not be judged ridiculed or rejected some thing that i never had and now i hate every one all people are evil

[The observer]

reading the book "Destined for War : Can America and China Escape Thucydides's Trap?" for Graham Allison and its a very interesting and enlightening read so far 

right about now i created another journal with the intention of making use of the quarantine. silence has always been a good friend and a great teacher 

 

[The observer]

yet another proof that ppl are evil 

 

what did i do to deserve such accusations? i was just having a honest conversation with leo yet a blind worshipper jumps in defending leo from nothing and projects his complexities and lack of authority on to me. ive found his comment offensive so i reported it and now i hate him but i didnt reply to him b cuz i know it for a fact he will attack me again 

i need love why do i receive hate? 

[zeroISinfinity]

Do not expect people to change, you do. 

How old are you? 

[The observer]

2 minutes ago, zeroISinfinity said:

Do not expect people to change, you do. 

im trying my best thanks 

2 minutes ago, zeroISinfinity said:

How old are you? 

id rather not say

[zeroISinfinity]

Doesn't matter. What you are really looking for is your own love.Only that will make you really happy. Try sharing and giving yourself more. 

Forget fear. 

[The observer]

it really is not a problem on my part i give love to every one but i either receive hate or no other reaction. right now i have over 100 posts here im sure at least 15-20 of them are a reply to a question with advice of my own experience. not a single reply got any positive feedback. i guess im looking for attention cuz thats what might fill the gap inside me but at least im looking for appreciation of my help which no one does. no body really cares about u every human is a devil caring only about him self. i hate all human beings if i were god i would throw them all in hell and thatd still be mercy of me b cuz they deserve more. theres no worse species than the human race they only want to take the good and give the bad they never give any thing good for free they always want some thing in return and if u ever make a mistake or tumble they will immediately without a second thought prey on u. theyre heartless zombies that suck u out and leave u broken and empty

Edited April 18, 2020 by The observer

[Zigzag Idiot]

 

@The observer I know how you feel.

[The observer]

2 hours ago, Zigzag Idiot said:

 

@The observer I know how you feel.

?

[The observer]

for the third time in a week i wake up crying feeling intense love. it came in two different variations ive only felt these two kind of love 10 to 15 years ago i felt the latter towards one person for more than two consecutive years but now i have no feelings for that person what so ever. its not the kind of spiritual infinite love thing but it is divine and it is love and it is intense like a heavy black hole inside the chest which feels both good and bad at the same time. i couldnt identify it perfectly yet but it has a component of attachment which gives the feeling of being imprisoned for eternity yet this imprisonment is hauntingly beautiful b cuz its where u wanna be its like being drunk and in love. the former kind of love has a component of vulnerability its like being completely powerless and in love. if it was up to me i would choose the latter i would choose attachment over powerlessness even though theyre essentially the same thing but the difference is that attachment empowers u within the relationship and gets u back to normal without it so its an all or nothing situation while the other kind weakens u within the relationship and does not empower u without it but u only feel relief from recovering.

Edited April 18, 2020 by The observer
typo

[The observer]

haha fuck my life i realized that i dont love my self wtf! hahaha zero was right its not about others its about me b cuz its all love and perfection some ppl will love u for no reason and some ppl will hate u for no reason theres no logic in love and attraction im imagining others and whether they love or hate me its just imagination its just thoughts its just desire for more its just ego haha how silly! what a cosmic joke!

[The observer]

followed this link https://qst.darkfactor.org/ from another journal on here and heres my result idk wht to make of it

idk what any of these things mean but it seems like im evil hahaha ok i love my self i wanna increase my narc ?

[GodDesireOnlyLove]

1 hour ago, The observer said:

haha fuck my life i realized that i dont love my self wtf! hahaha zero was right its not about others its about me b cuz its all love and perfection some ppl will love u for no reason and some ppl will hate u for no reason theres no logic in love and attraction im imagining others and whether they love or hate me its just imagination its just thoughts its just desire for more its just ego haha how silly! what a cosmic joke!

you're on the path, that's it ❤️
 

[The observer]

22 minutes ago, GodDesireOnlyLove said:

you're on the path, that's it ❤️
 

thank u ?

[The observer]

silence is truly revealing! tons of huge insights are coming in. theres no such thing as delusion. wait what? YES! unless u think of it it doesnt exist u have to imagine the concept "delusion" for it to be true and either way with or without that concept its all truth and its all love. only u can create delusion just as much as u create ur suffering. no one else is deluded only u can delude urself hahahaha

[zeroISinfinity]

Doin' the work Love it. 

[fridjonk]

15 minutes ago, The observer said:

silence is truly revealing!

YES! 

[The observer]

all knowledge is illusory

cause and effect are illusory

whaaaaaat!

mind is fear = limited love = life = form

truth is unlimited love = no fear = death = formlessness

drop the thoughts b cuz theyre fear

embrace love and have no fear

 or dont hahaha

[The observer]

opting out from this platform for now not sure if i will come back later

its been nice to get to meet zero and the others

wishing every one all the best ?

Edited April 19, 2020 by The observer

[The observer]

infinite love and infinite goodness ?