Reconciling non-attachment, desire, equanimity and relationships

[Ya know]

Hey, so I have a few questions about dating / sexuality that I'm curious about.

If I choose one person over others, how can this not be a desire? Or a part of attachment? 

If for instance I love more than another, how can you be equanimious about the situation? Valuing them over others, liking them more, treating them differently?

 

I'm also confused about simultaneously caring about someone while being indifferent. Isn't it a pre requisite to be emotionally involved with someone for intimacy? How can this be possible if you are ambivalent if they leave?

[Alexop]

Of course you prefer some people over others, you prefer those who have similar values like you, most likely those of your level or higher. If you really care about your GF, you let her leave if she chooses that, you accept every decision that makes her happier. Reacting volcanic to her decision to leave is not authentic love but only ego. You can`t take care of everybody by yourself, you can only take care of a limited number of people like your GF, family and friends. You take care of everybody by voting for a good government. I hope this is helpful, correct me if I miss your point.