Have a question around spiral dynamics and my life. For the past 3 months there's been a ridiculously strong desire to abandon society and live as minimally, as naturally, and as peacefully as possible. My dreamboard progressively changed from living in a house, to living in a tent, to living in a cave. The kitchen utensils change from some kitchen utensils to ancient utensils to good old wood fire and stick. My dreamboard changed from buying groceries from a shop, to having my own garden, to eating stuff directly from nature. My business changed from a successful, highly impactful business, to a lifestyle business, to no business at all, to meditating, contemplating all day and to using occult techniques to survive like changing body temp instead of blanket and occult techniques to reduce food consumption. My alarm clock on my phone changed to waking up when the sun rises and a sun dial. My bed changed from a normal bed, to a floor. About 2 months ago I started acting on these dream board ambitions. I bought very ancient kitchen utensils. I replaced my blender with pestle and mortar. My pots with ancient clay pots. Pans with ancient chinese pans, forks and knives with chopsticks. It doesnt make any sense logically why i did this. efficiency is suppose to be king, but I just love the simple life and I love the old way, it makes me feel good to feel the food i make on a deeper level, to touch the food. I get a whole array of feels from doing things from the ground that you dont get when you abstract it away with technology. I think the other reason I love using it is because I'm less attached to these utensils. The more manual, the less attached and need I have for external attachments. Started sleeping on the floor and taking cold showers. Felt great, felt like I was feeling the ground and going back to the origins of life. Started meditating and doing yoga much more.  Reduced cravings of worldly desires, used less water, food, smaller house.  Right now I'm living this life and absolutely love it. I feel like I finally found the life I was looking for and always was. The closer my life gets to being raw, simple, natural and meditative, the more I love it. It feels amazing to sleep on the earth, you feel like you are the earth every night, its paradise. My god damn passion isn't to be a fucken scientist! famous artist! soccer player! engineer! fucken spiritual guru! fucken business man! No! My passion is to feel the beautiful breeze on a winter night, and to feel how its the earth and to feel the earth and planet entirely, to feel the beautiful rocky surface of my pestle and mortar as I crush my grapes and strawberries. To feel how those rocks are the earth and to connect with the whole earth through feeling it. To feel the food from my garden enter the body and to feel the body's connection and integration with the soil and plants and whole earth. To feel every sensation of the earth, as if I was the earth, from feeling the wind, to the trickles of water, the heat gazing on it, feel the feelings of all of its plants and the entire ecology of it. To feel the love and connection with the soil and earth, like the earth is my womb. To feel the rocky surface of the ground as I sleep on it. To feel the beautiful, cold and natural water of my shower(and river in the future) touch the body making me feel as if the body is a part of the earth. To meditate and feel the omnipresence of imagination and what its made of, how it works, to feel the atmosphere of the surroundings, to feel bodily sensations to the fullest, to be God, just delve into being it. To feel its love, to know everything about it. To love it and be it. Thats my fucken passion! That's what I want to master! That's what I want to be world class at!(if I need to be world class at anything). That's all I want. Just that.  And now im looking into having my own plants and finding a sustainable way to survive off the grid. After meditating for a while I realize that all suffering, big and small, can be healed just through awareness. You can heal sadness by placing awareness on it. All cravings and desires(not to offend the tantra boys on here, this is for me) are simply suffering, its wanting what you don't have. Be it sex, food, money, whatever. And I've really seen and accepted now that no desire will fulfill you. None. Totally accepted this to be the case. And I see now that the best way to fulfill your desire is to place awareness on it, till it dissolves, or till you realize you don't need it/already have it. And if you need extra ammo, love it. Love it to bits. Hug it and make it feel better. And I've totally seen now that for me(and me only) no type of life will ever truly fulfill me. Not a millionaire life, successful guru teacher life, none. It all suffers the same problem: you can't truly attain it. And I've fully seen now that I don't care about trying to attain it anymore. But I already know what will happen even if I do attain it. It will be a pot at the end of the rainbow. I'm just not interested anymore. I have a strong urge to let go of all attachments: food cravings, sex and everything in between. Let go of all career goals. At this point, unfortunately, there's no interest in helping the world or others. I wish there was, I really do. I tried Leo's life purpose course for 2 years intensely, doing it 100s of times to find that thing. But in the end, what I always wanted was to live in a cave and disconnect for a while. I hope that in the future I will find the desire or need to help others, but right now its solitary confinement and isolation in beautiful nature that I want.  The prospect of leaving my country and living in the Himalayas is bearing on me. I don't know why, but have an urge to go there and live there for a while. Its not for enlightenment, more for the beautiful nature and connectedness. Also have an urge to learn offline yogic techniques and occult techniques.   The question is, and I know ultimately no one will know more about what i should do than i, and im totally aware of that, but 1 question i have is, it feels like im trying to live a stage purple life, or regress to purple LOL.  I am concerned that by going to the himalayas I will be choosing to live in a less developed society, that will prevent me from living a very simple, nature raw, meditative life. I will be too busy fending off thieves, negotiating with other people over land, being restricted and opressed by the society there. Stage purple of blue shit.  At the same time, while i could technically save up to buy a big patch of land in my home country and live there off the grid, due to the himalaya's spiritual energy, it seems like a cool thing to experience. So I'm wondering what's your perspective from a spiral dynamics take on my plans for the future? Is this plan Ive got missing some key spiral dynamics understanding? I admittedly am not a student of spiral dynamics and havent really researched it beyond a few of Leo's vids, and am looking for some input from some spiral dynamics experts on here. Thanks for answering!