Thinking about leaving this forum

[Applegarden]

Hey guys!

I have been on this forum for a good while and its been fun and okay, however i don't feel that this forum is helping me and has become another entertainment. To argue with people, get validation and so on... I don't feel like i have anything much to express, because i am the question of my life. This is becoming so important for me that i want to quit MANY MANY forms of entertainment, the moment i graduate university, however i will continune to play instruments, maybe more of them.  My life is in absolute uncertainty, i have a vision, however i feel like i have too little time to comment here or even write my journal. It just feels uneccesary. I have less interest in the opposite sex, expressing myself and running for something like validation. Of course its on a spectrum, but it has decreased tremendously over the past few months. I feel in completion and i feel like i have alot to discover. In the universe and music itself.  I just find language and forming toughts and ideas, arguing, criticism is not a efficient form, and not the only one. I just want to entertain sielence more. I feel like i wanted to share this if i go soon. Thank you Leo, the Actualized.org forum staff! 

[Preety_India]

48 minutes ago, Applegarden said:

Hey guys!

I have been on this forum for a good while and its been fun and okay, however i don't feel that this forum is helping me and has become another entertainment. To argue with people, get validation and so on... I don't feel like i have anything much to express, because i am the question of my life. This is becoming so important for me that i want to quit MANY MANY forms of entertainment, the moment i graduate university, however i will continune to play instruments, maybe more of them.  My life is in absolute uncertainty, i have a vision, however i feel like i have too little time to comment here or even write my journal. It just feels uneccesary. I have less interest in the opposite sex, expressing myself and running for something like validation. Of course its on a spectrum, but it has decreased tremendously over the past few months. I feel in completion and i feel like i have alot to discover. In the universe and music itself.  

48 minutes ago, Applegarden said:

I just find language and forming toughts and ideas, arguing, criticism is not a efficient form, and not the only one. I just want to entertain sielence more.

I just find language and forming toughts and ideas, arguing, criticism is not a efficient form, and not the only one. I just want to entertain sielence more. I feel like i wanted to share this if i go soon. Thank you Leo, the Actualized.org forum staff! 

I am planning the same thing and had this same thought over the last week. 

You've been such a wonderful person. I had great conversations with you on the forum. 

I kinda resonate with your sentiment. 

This forum is a good place but it has it's downsides. It's the people(only some) . Leo and mods are doing a great job. But I can't keep arguing with someone everyday. 

And there are lots of people who send rude messages. 

"I just find language and forming toughts and ideas, arguing, criticism is not a efficient form, and not the only one. I just want to entertain sielence more." 

I had a similar thought and  experience. I am not on the forum for unnecessary arguments and "judgemental" criticism. It halts my progress and growth. You can't talk to people who are biased against you all the time. 

The problem is kinda inherent. Everyone has to be pleased all the time which is the hardest thing to do. 

Something that is being said is always taken out of context and it is used as a means for ad hominem attacks. That's a very low conscious way to debate an opinion. 

There is a problem of constant judgement and shaming. Not that it's not going to happen elsewhere, but the kind of people that are attracted to the forum are sometimes the ones just looking to get a rise out of someone who is probably here for serious self development work. Those specific people only create drama and conflict and attacking each other just to get a thrill. This forum becomes their entertainment pasture. Don't like that part. 

I am not here for popcorn and drama. I get little time to even start a thread let alone sit hours arguing with someone just on the purpose of the thread. 

Some of the core issues I found on the forum created by these specific people 

• Thread derailing 
• Trashing the thread 
• Continuously arguing even when told to stop
• Ad hominem attacks 
• Trolling 
• Tendency to provoke or trigger a fight with someone they are biased against 
• The focus is more on the original poster rather than the content of the thread creating bias 

The problem is they make everything personal. They turn it into "you versus the other person" as though it's a fighting match and someone has to win. 

And the other worst part is the Labeling. I'm not here to be called labels. They are similar to name calling. This is not a place to decide "who is good" and "who is bad," I wish some people could drop the need for character assassination. It corners people making them more vulnerable to hate and attacks from others. 

 So yea, I'll be taking a similar route and quit the forum at some point. I still have some threads that I need to respond to but after that I'll be done for good. 

Best wishes to you on your life journey. ❤️

 

 

Edited April 11, 2020 by Preety_India

[Thought Art]

Hmm,  I think text is inherently a hard and limited way to communicate. So far I like the Forum, but there is often a sense of conflict or something. Idk. I'll be sticking around though for awhile. I like what Actualized.org stands for and this is giving me a much needed sense of community. 

[Preety_India]

@Meta-Man thanks 

 

 

[Inliytened1]

@Preety_India Better not leave

You are one of the reasons the forum is what it is... it can be frustrating at times but there are also a lot of good people like you here.

 

[Derek White]

I touched upon this subject in another post a while back. Feel like I should share it here. I feel sort of the same way as you but I touch upon other things too like repetitiveness. 

I just wanna say I love what Leo has done for us and this forum has definitely helped me. I have nothing but respect for this place. 

But there's the fact that people use this casually and there are a few low consciousness posts. These low consciousness posts are hard to ignore. Some people's writing is not even legible, some feel threatened when you ask genuine questions, others use it as a feel good Instagram quote page, others have mental illnesses (no disrespect to them). Some people are genuinely fun to read. All sorts of people here.

Perhaps the biggest reason for wanting to leave (for me) is that there is only so much you can talk about Big Picture Understanding. It becomes repetitive and you're talking about the same things over and over. Leo talks about it cause it's his job but for us ordinary people it can create a stubborn thought pattern. After a while you just have to live your life... At some point you have enough intellectual understanding (or just understanding) that you move on... and it becomes about living more consciously everyday. Sort of like finding peace in the mundane.. Going from big picture to small picture because you can't talk about the big picture 24/7. Hope it makes sense.

Here's my old post, I illustrate more about repetitiveness in this (I edited out the parts not relevant to the topic, ik I talk about his videos but this can be said about the forum):

On 4/6/2020 at 2:15 AM, Derek White said:

...we have hit a limit on how much can be conveyed through videos. No matter how hard you try, you're not going to realize reality is imaginary by watching an hour long video. His recent videos, although great, had insights he has already covered in the past. If you watched his old videos and did the 'work', you already knew them. For example, insights in the "Implicit vs. Explicit" video were discussed previously when he talked about intuition, debunked logic, infinity, etc. For people who were following along and studying other resources, it was not that new. You could intuit the insights of "How Society Evolves". "Content vs Structure" was like 'Sameness vs Differences" and "Systems Thinking". I could go on but the point is that the videos are getting repetitive because words don't do justice to his awakenings. I think we have hit a limit on how much he can convey through them.

...the channel seems to be going in a more personal direction for quite some time now. Like the awakening videos, updates, and even some of the higher consciousness videos like what is Love, Purpose of Life, etc. I know he would say that the latter is absolute truth but because most of his audience (most of us) have not realized it ourselves, it feels like he is talking about his own personal awakenings even in those videos. The fact is that his channel feels like it's more about his personal journey to awaken [than about teaching]: a vlog. It's about explaining his awakenings.

I love Leo, but I can't watch him talking about the hundredth time that everything is God, everything is Love, everything is Imagination, etc. I know it's suppose to be deeper every time but I don't think the depth can be conveyed through videos now. I go back to his old videos sometimes but If this keeps going I would have to stop watching his videos in the future.   

P.S: Maybe it's just me and I'm being ridiculous. But Yesterday I had this very strong feeling that I had gotten what I needed from Actualized.org and it's time to let go, sort of like when you suddenly stop an addiction one fine day for no reason without any effort. Or when suddenly one day between teenage and childhood you stop playing with toys and watching cartoons. It's sort of not my choice, it happened to me. Leo has given me all the techniques, explanations, his opinions, practical advice, a book list, a course, and more. But this post seems like my lower self still trying to cling on, hoping that Leo would release something in the future that would maybe resonate with me more. Everything was resonating... until I woke up yesterday and it wasn't; it felt like a chore. I have had my fair share of realizations but maybe I'm entering a new phase where I want to focus on the mundane and the ordinary as oppose to what Leo talks about; God and enlightenment. 

 

[Epiphany_Inspired]

@ all potential leavers,

I wish you a beautiful life no matter what, and would respect any choice. I struggle with reading and writing on screens after a car accident (so this is tremendously challenging/ I get it)... that said, it is also a great blessing to have access to the wisdom (mixed in with a bit of trolling etc). Before you may go completely, (maybe?) consider visiting once in a while as I do, at least for the following reasons:

1. The Unity of our individual expressions coming together on the road to consciousness (community)

2. Other perspectives help keep our minds open

3. A great way to serve the universe is by helping other human expressions... and this is an incredible platform for that... most here actually want to evolve

4. You can continue to Journey with Leo, etc

[Pacific Sage]

7 hours ago, Applegarden said:

Hey guys!

I have been on this forum for a good while and its been fun and okay, however i don't feel that this forum is helping me and has become another entertainment. To argue with people, get validation and so on... I don't feel like i have anything much to express, because i am the question of my life. This is becoming so important for me that i want to quit MANY MANY forms of entertainment, the moment i graduate university, however i will continune to play instruments, maybe more of them.  My life is in absolute uncertainty, i have a vision, however i feel like i have too little time to comment here or even write my journal. It just feels uneccesary. I have less interest in the opposite sex, expressing myself and running for something like validation. Of course its on a spectrum, but it has decreased tremendously over the past few months. I feel in completion and i feel like i have alot to discover. In the universe and music itself.  I just find language and forming toughts and ideas, arguing, criticism is not a efficient form, and not the only one. I just want to entertain sielence more. I feel like i wanted to share this if i go soon. Thank you Leo, the Actualized.org forum staff! 

In an open forum like this you are bound to find healthy and toxic critics. I personally try to not let them affect me, which is in and itself bettering myself ? I weigh if the ciritc has a perspective where I might have assumed wrong then I see it as an opportunity to grow. Otherwise you can always vibe out of that situation.

Well if you have decided to leave the forum then don't you think this post is counter productive to what you have set your mind on?

All I can say is we find good and bad in almost every aspect of life it's only up to us to take only the thing that elevate us and elevate above the things which bother our peace. Either way hope you elevate on your path?

Edited April 12, 2020 by Pacific Sage

[hyruga]

But now it's the Covid-19 stay at home period. You should have more time online to discuss and also read up on things. Why quit now?

[Applegarden]

7 hours ago, Preety_India said:

Best wishes to you on your life journey. ❤️

Thank you, i wish the best for you!

7 hours ago, Thought Art said:

I like what Actualized.org stands for and this is giving me a much needed sense of community. 

Me too, i will keep watching Leo's videos, however i always happened to live in a way that my sense of community was disrupted in some way. So i sat alone or my entertainment happened trought being alone or internet, and i don't feel like an actualizer or anything. Because of meditation i can say people around me don't mean much to me, its not that i don't care for them, but i don't have to worry about somebody every 5 minutes. And i simply don't have enough time, my future reeks 12 hour shifts and working on days off, and i have to do maintainance work in my house + spiritual sadhana and the last thing i want to do music. There is no room for anything else. 

3 hours ago, Derek White said:

Perhaps the biggest reason for wanting to leave (for me) is that there is only so much you can talk about Big Picture Understanding. It becomes repetitive and you're talking about the same things over and over. Leo talks about it cause it's his job but for us ordinary people it can create a stubborn thought pattern. After a while you just have to live your life... At some point you have enough intellectual understanding (or just understanding) that you move on... and it becomes about living more consciously everyday. Sort of like finding peace in the mundane.. Going from big picture to small picture because you can't talk about the big picture 24/7. Hope it makes sense.

Yes, that is a good point aswell, have to face it in the most direct way possible, even in a strong determination sitting session. And my failures and sufferings only really can be adressed with inner work. The side effect of this may be that i become like a monk, almost like anti-social, but its beginning to happen for me, even with the junk i keep consuming in terms of the media and food. The effect still is great. And besides, if you feel something really unusual like energies centering in your upper most chakras, all i kinda want to do is to sit with that and make maximum amount of free time to do it.

2 hours ago, Pacific Sage said:

In an open forum like this you are bound find healthy and toxic critics. I personally try not let them affect me which is in and itself bettering myself ? I weigh if the ciritc has a perspective where I might have assumed wrong then I see it as an opportunity to grow. Otherwise you can always vibe out of that situation.

Well if you have decided to leave the forum then don't you think this post is counter productive to what you have set your mind on?

All I can say is you ll find good and bad in almost every aspect of life it's only up to us to take only the thing that elevate us and elevate above the things which bother our peace. Either way hope you elevate on your path?

Its not so much about the critics, its about the efficiency to make my points across, which is largely just doing it for entertainemnt. I catch a topic and then spontaneously write. And as i mentioned earlier i am having too little time.

My life has been counter-productive and inefficient logically speaking, but life being rational or irrational is whole different topic. And i wanted to share why would i leave the forum and this is my way on saying thanks to people and Leo. But yes it is counter-productive to stay here as well as many many other forms ofdistraction from enlightenment including music. Also the other good question is ask my-self, what is the value of me being a hypocrite or a liar, it boils down to the validation and seeking it. We are just bound to lie, manipulate, procrastinate and ruin our dreams, because o the layers and layers of delusion we carry. If you attend those layers, self-development can happen, but it's always a spectrum. Leving this forum would leave me with more mental energy. For example writing a journal for 1hr a day is not what i want to do, it was kinda helpful, but i already know better methods for what i want to achieve.

2 hours ago, Epiphany_Inspired said:

Before you may go completely, (maybe?) consider visiting once in a while as I do, at least for the following reasons:

1. The Unity of our individual expressions coming together on the road to consciousness (community)

2. Other perspectives help keep our minds open

3. A great way to serve the universe is by helping other human expressions... and this is an incredible platform for that... most here actually want to evolve

4. You can continue to Journey with Leo, etc

1. I am always going to be exposed to interract with people - friends, enemies, critics, validation seekers, women that are interested in me and women that want to shame me and what ever other example i can give. The best thing i can do is to work on myself to be the calming presence and a ray of joy in their life from my bliss that i express. I don't need any complicted mating strategy and algorithm to express my image i want people to percieve. If i face conflict or anything i will just stay in awareness and remind myself to do that. In my life this is happening far enough. I don't want to argue here also. x)

2. This is a tricky one. Yes, but sometimes i wonder, whats the point of giving attention to the mind every 5 seconds, and i have had experiences that tell me you don't need to have voices in your head to use your mind. I clearly am not there yet and by some chance or maybe something more sentient i will be there someday.

3. Yes, but i rather go and talk to the people in my life that i feel i need it. They are very scarce, however at least one person i know and i introduced them in spirituality, they transformed and increased their level of happiness and completion with death. And yeah, text is tough. And i might need to help myself first to be a quality helper.

4.I will, and i love this side of Leo, and i listen to various crazy gurus, the far of the "rational and logical person" that are far out there, further than Leo with what they claim. But their teachings really help me. Besides, the human cognition is very complicated and in a dire need to explore, AND while excercising these other aspects of me, i have to be careful with what advice i give, the best way is sielence i feel, however i feel people drawn to my bliss. I had major social anxiety a few years back from the opposite sex, now its almost completely gone or if i have it i don't think i care. Because my goal is not to take anybody home and ask them if i can stick it in them. 

Thank you guys for your responses and warmth! Good luck on your paths, may you be a jeevan muktha.

@hyruga well i have a bunch of other things i want to do besides that, the best thing i can do is to work on my fear of death. And looking at the impermanence of this earthly existence. I have always lived in my room for the most part when i am not in school or work. There is like no change for me.

Edited April 12, 2020 by Applegarden

[Pacific Sage]

@Applegarden

I have worked on few of those levels and I try not getting sucked in to validation. If the entire world is me then might as well start with pleasing myself rather than trying to please others check out Julien Blanc's video on these layers. He speaks about these layers and how to let go to come into being.

Why don't you just stop journaling if it's a hassle, let go do what comforts you and investigate what doesn't comfort you.

 

Edited April 12, 2020 by Pacific Sage

[Pacific Sage]

20 minutes ago, Applegarden said:

 

 

I catch a topic and then spontaneously write (this is exactly what I do too ).

And as i mentioned earlier i am having too little time. (Fair enough)

And i wanted to share why would i leave the forum and this is my way on saying thanks to people and Leo.

Well don't you think the moment you decided to leave then you could just leave? See now you are still on the forum even when you are having thoughts of not being on the forum. Very counter productive move to your plan to begin with.

 

 

[Applegarden]

4 minutes ago, Pacific Sage said:

Well don't you think the moment you decided to leave then you could just leave? See now you are still on the forum even when you are having thoughts of not being on the forum. Very counter productive move to your plan to begin with.

Because i wanted to share what i wanted to share for whatever reason. Yes, whats wrong with being on the forum while having toughts about leaving the forum besides that. Are you calling me out on attention need?  Well you pointed a basic hypocrisy and an obvious flaw in my logic, which i kinda already adressed, and adressed the nature of it. You do realize that if you deleted your facebook if you have one, you would still search for the website some time after. How many times you made resolutions and did not fullfill them? Do you see the broader problem. However i can assure i might be gone from here in the near future. I would also look at your need to call me out on this. I saw one good point on this htread.  And that is being too logical and rational with people, which is the problem i personally have, and it goes in hand with taking life too seriously. And our cognition consists of less than 50% of logic and rationalistic notions, with excersising spiritual aspects this goes far far down. I don't know why i am even bothering but i hope it answers your question.xD

 

I see your desire to pull my strings a bit an argue with me, thats ok tho. x) I think i already covered this.

32 minutes ago, Applegarden said:

My life has been counter-productive and inefficient logically speaking, but life being rational or irrational is whole different topic. And i wanted to share why would i leave the forum and this is my way on saying thanks to people and Leo. But yes it is counter-productive to stay here as well as many many other forms ofdistraction from enlightenment including music. 

 

[Pacific Sage]

@Pacific Sage @Applegarden

Apologies ? 

You are right I was projecting myself, I don't know I always found it funny when I see people post similar things on Facebook saying "Guys am quitting social media".

I too have stopped viewing this forum for a while  in the past, because I was uncomfortable with myself and things that were happening around me but I always came back. So maybe it would be wise to take a few days break before actually announcing that you are quitting so you would be sure of your feelings and plans.

Maybe that would work? Id hate to see someone make this statement and be right back and feel wierd about it atleast I didn't want that for myself. 

Apologies again! ?♥️

All the best! Yes forum members and Leo have been a great influence.

Edited April 12, 2020 by Pacific Sage
Clarification about when I used to stop viewing this forum

[Applegarden]

@Pacific Sage I personally have had deleted accounts on social media (especially facebook) for like 10 on an off and now i just dont go there after a long while! So it is a success. It was like battling an addiction. U have yt and insta left, but i want to use it for posting music and interacting with musicians.

I will leave it at there, no need to apologize.

All the best to you too!

 

 

[Pacific Sage]

I like this saying -

Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water

You are on point with addictions though, I feel you?

[Derek White]

3 hours ago, Epiphany_Inspired said:

2. Other perspectives help keep our minds open

The quality of perspectives/opinions presented here is definitely an issue. For many of the subjects discussed here, It takes a large knowledge base and technical detail to form a high consciousness (yellow and above) perspective. For instance, I have come across posts which question if some races are genetically less aware than others. To me it's like asking if the Earth is flat. Now, it is a perspective and you can have that discussion, but it is not a high consciousness perspective, certainly not something which deserves to be discussed on this forum. Such perspectives/opinions make me question the quality of people this forum is attracting.

Also, a lot posts are a rehash of perspectives in Leo's videos. So there is a lack of new insights on here. Like I said, it becomes repetitive. How many times am I gonna read, everything is God, everything is Love, examples of spiral dynamics, etc.  

We do not discuss technical details here. I would like to explore more technical details and minutia in the future, as opposed to just big picture understanding. 

I am not planning to leave forever. I would share any future spiritual experiences if I feel like it. For now I would limit my time and posts.

[StarStruck]

I just stay away from arguments most of the time. What you focus on becomes your reality. Annoying people are everywhere. Good luck evading them your whole life. 

[neovox]

It is humorous how often "awakened" individuals use their "awakening" as the subject of their ego, and the forum as the platform 

[trenton]

@Applegarden i noticed that too.  When we talk online you are only reading my words.  It does not actually help you to raise your consciousness, it just adjusts your beliefs no matter what we write to you.  I use these forums to post interesting ideas and events which might teach other people various lessons, so they may find it helpful.

The main benefit of this forum is that I can be more honest about myself.  People may judge me, but I am less afraid of internet people than I am the people around me in terms of how they judge me.  I would be blasted directly, emotions, words, insults and everything.  Here it is just the words.