I am a bad person

[28 cm unbuffed]

I am working hard to get my head straight, I am going through my spiritual awakening process right now and there are little things that are still out of balance and some little things to work in a future probably. But there is one huge thing that keeps coming back.

It's these thoughts like "I am lucifer ego development archetype", "I am a bad guy", "I am bad", etc. 

It is probably because I was really into self-development for past 3 years and I got into spirituality balls deep. I was trying to be the best person that I can, not hurt everyone, basically a Jesus fucking Christ. And it ended up with having no boundries, getting lied, pulling narcisstic people into my life and being used like a bitch.

Now I am thinking about becoming famous, rich, beautiful, Kanye West's / Joe Rogan's / Russel's Brand path of development really resonates with me. 

I worked a lot to get more confident, courageous, manly, etc, so these things are not a problem anymore (I still hear their voices in my head, but they are not a part of my life anymore).

But I have no idea where this idea about "I am a bad person" comes from. If I could at least know the mechanic that is causing that, maybe it would be easier to find the cause. Do you guys have any idea? Thank you in advance.

Edited April 11, 2020 by 28 cm unbuffed

[Javfly33]

I used to think this too but I noticed they are just thoughts in my mind. Once I stop feeding the thoughts (I was believing them), they stop appearing.

The mind basically will construct all type of stories about you: "I am a bad person" "I am great person"...etc. The mind loves having the illusion of knowledge about something.

I wouldn´t give it much importance tbh. Much people when they start spirituality have this dogma about it that spirituality is about being good. This was absorbed by religious catholic dogma, probably.

But hey, I could be wrong and you could be judging yourself deeply from some things in the past or something. 

You must inspect if it´s spiritual ego judging itself for not being spiritual , or is it something  "real" that emotions are trying to tell you.

 

Edited April 11, 2020 by Javfly33

[Osaid]

@28 cm unbuffed Bad and good are relative to the ego. The cause of that thinking is your ego trying to maintain some sort of standard for yourself, anything unlike that standard is considered bad by it. 

 

[Leo Gura]

You're not a person at all. You are God/Love/Consciousness/Everything which has confused itself for a person.

It is okay to be however you are and it is okay to make mistakes in life. Don't be so hard on yourself.

Self-Love is the ultimate teaching.

[Javfly33]

55 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

You're not a person at all. You are God/Love/Consciousness/Everything which has confused itself for a person.

It is okay to be however you are and it is okay to make mistakes in life. Don't be so hard on yourself.

Self-Love is the ultimate teaching.

Thank God you start integrating the truth about reality into self-actualization. It was about time ❣️? 

I'd say enough of conditional self-love. Lol I ditched my therapist recently most world still stuck in conditional love/esteem.

Discovering who you are the best self-love path ever. 

Edited April 11, 2020 by Javfly33

[universe]

There is no such thing as a bad person. You are fragmenting reality.

This video is very foundational

 

[28 cm unbuffed]

@universe  

thank you bro, I feel that is going to change me, back to who I was when I loved myself, without even knowing that you can feel somehow different about yourself lol