Enter The Dragon

[Richard Alpert]

Dont think, feeeeeeeeeeel. Okay, Bruce.

I try to mix the soup here a little bit. This is gonna be short first post. There will be spelling mistakes because english is not my native language.

Im a guy who just turned 30. Been interested and studying "self-development" for about 6-7 years. It started with introduction to cannabis and somehow ekhart tolle´s power of now ended up in my hands. it was the first "self-help" book i read and this was 6-7 years ago. I had no interested in personal develpoment or spirituality before i smoked weed so i guess drugs are all not that bad, mmmmkay

I will be writing on such topics as: yoga, meditation, psychedelics, martial arts, running, soccer, nutrition, books, psychology. And lots of other stuff that doesnt come to my mind right at the moment.

Im on holidays now and leaving to a vipassana retreat in two days. I am nervous and little scared because i have never done anything like that. The longest i have meditated in one day is probably 2,5 hours. 10h meditation / day will probably be a pain in the ass, but i have done a lot other crazy shit in my life.

After i am coming back from the forest, i planning to test acid for the first time.

I will post tomorrow before i go to the retreat. Maybe i write about weed, because i probably would not be on this forum without that plant.

 

 

Edited June 29, 2016 by Richard Alpert

[Richard Alpert]

Vipassana Meditation Retreat

Day 1:

Feeling little nervous going to the retreat, which was expected because this is my first time. I tried to be open minded going in and was aware that it´s highly likely there are hippiesh people, but after registering there I thought what kind of tree hugging festival this is going to be because men were hugging each other very softly, lol.  

We started with some introduction / group activity and I started to feel good after our teacher were introduced. You could sense they´re deep presence and both were very good at speaking.

I guess we had 2 meditation sessions at the first night. They were about 45 min long. I have earlier only meditated by myself, either in silence or recorded guided meditations and very rarely go 45 min straight. I have a very shitty sitting posture, but I was able to go the first days meditations quite easily.

Very hard time sleeping at the first night. Slept only probably 2 hours, but I wasn’t that exhausted or tired in day 2.

Day 2:

Now as I write this, I am not sure what happened and which day because you lose a sense of time and date there. The rules were not so strict in the retreat, we were suggested to keep the phones off and no other distraction, but there were quite a lot of free time and you basically could decide how much you participate in the meditation end exercises. The retreat was not completely spent in silence it was like a 50% / 50% deal with silence and social time. I really liked this, because you could get to know new people. I am more introverted and it usually takes a little bit time for me to open up, but people seemed very friendly and we were there to do the same thing so there was very good group energy going on basically from the start. We also had small working period during days, like cleaning etc.

I think we had 6 meditation sessions in second day. Walking meditation was new to me, it felt pretty interesting. Some session was guided meditation by the teacher, always when the female teacher talked I went into like hypnosis. You could just feel how loving and compassionate person she is. Both of the teachers talk very calmly and slow. I think in the day 2. my ego kicked in at some point and started to think that I am not becoming hippie or else I can´t do my day to day job etc. I know realize how ego driven I have been on my job.

Day 2. I started already to notice my mind already calming down compared to my regular day to day life. We did some exercise with pair were you speak how do you feel in you´re body at the moment, what changing at the moment etc. It felt really hard, I kind of didn’t know what to say because I haven’t ever done this kind of exercise before. I hanged out quite a lot the days after with the person I did this exercise. She was cool, althought she had some psychological issues which were exposed in the later days. But hey, were all humans and it´s very interesting how much compassion you can feel for people you have just met in this environment. I have some emotional issues myself and I am not the most emphatetic person in the world, but I feel like starting to connect with people in the day 2/3

Day 3. Same 6 meditations sessions as day 2. We did some guided metta exercise. This was also new to me. First we explored the other person´s body part and it was really cool, reminded me of how I feel like on mushrooms seeing some things like the first time as they really are. The loving kindness mediation was really cool too. You first show loving kindness toward yourself, then someone you know well, then maybe some neutral person and you expand from there to all beings. Good stuff. In day 3 I feel like my mind have slowed down a ton compared to my normal state. Also weird to see how much empathy and connection there is in the group. I think the teachers played a big part here, because they´re presence itself heals you.

Day 4. Did some pair exercise with a 60 year old women and was surprised how much we connected. I don’t know was it day 4 or 5 when I had my first discussion with a women I thought was the most tree hugger. She turned out to be really nice person, so this is a good reminder again not to make expectations and judgements.

At this point I have probably already shed tears few times when I am at my room by myself. Mostly feeling compassion and connection to the people I have met there.

Hard to say how much the meditation is playing the role in the state I am in. teachers, participants, vegan diet and environment definitely play a role too. The other teacher is actually a living saint in my opinion. I mean both of them are at some level, but I have never met a person who is full of unconditional love. How can you not feel good around this person?

Day 5. Thoughts have gone down a lot during the retreat and feelings gone up big time. It is actually a pretty big emotional rollercoaster now. I know the retreat is coming to an end and I start to think little about the day to day life. Meditation gets little harder, I lose my focus little easier, feel like my mind is running harder than previous days. At this point I am pretty convinced this is not going to be my last retreat. I have felt somewhat “high” the whole retreat, although there has come also some negative thoughts and my sleeping pattern has been shit the whole retreat, but somehow It doesn’t show up in the daytime. I never fell sleep on meditations, some people did J

Day 6. Leaving. We had some nice last seremony. I definitely want to be in touch with the participants after the retreat. Thinking about booking a new retreat later this year to a different country. I am going to commit to meditation practice on daily basis, 2 x 30min is what I am thinking. Probably going to visit some meditation groups in my city also.

After coming home, I go a walk into nature. I am not intentionally doing walking meditation, but I feel it´s going there. It probably took 2x time more than this walk takes at my normal state. My mind feel very calm. I notice people have hard time to take and maintain eye contact J I thought I have social anxiety, but I think it is really in almost all at on some level.. The more awareness you have the less you probably have..

Anybody considering taking a retreat, I highly recommend. I don’t think many have had negative experience it seems it´s almost always positive.

Interesting to see will my meditations get better now and how long the effects of the retreat will last. In the nature walk today, i was thinking i dont want to read much books anymore. Probably wont either do the psychedelic trip i was planning. Interner / tv / radio seems also stupid now, silence seems much more interesting option.

 

 

 

 

Edited July 6, 2016 by Richard Alpert

[Richard Alpert]

10 minutes ago, Richard Alpert said:

 

How do you delete messages here?

 

 

Edited July 6, 2016 by Richard Alpert

[Richard Alpert]

Just watching Leo´s video fake growth vs real growth. I have watched it before, but didnt remember a lot. It´s so powerfull. Most of the pd books people are reading are all about outer techniques, success and achievements. Then you start chasing things like a crack addict and somewhere along the line you realise this is not working.

I dont think (anymore) there is something in us that needs to be fixed or developed.

I mean there might be few viruses in the computer that we better get rid of, but you kind of have to move out of youre way more than develop in some way. Everything is fine beneath the surface. I actually wanted to say this to one ex drug addict i met. She was in such a hurry and impulsive to do shit and fix herself i just wanted to say to her that chill the fuck out, youre cool just the way you are.

 

 

 

 

Edited July 8, 2016 by Richard Alpert

[Richard Alpert]

Im doing 2 courses of NLP. Just started the first one. I will be posting comments on the courses here.

I am actually a little sceptical about the effectiveness of nlp, but i like to research and try different things.

Basically in the first chapter there were a lot of techniques concerning human interaction which could be labeled as manipulation.

i try to stick 3x 30-45min meditations a day now when im on holidays. 1 silent sitting, one metta and one guided that chances.

[Richard Alpert]

Is there any ufc fans on the forum?

Ufc 200 is today and it´s probably the best card in the history of the company. Jon Jones ruined it a little bit, by getting caught using ped´s. Other ped user Silva stepped in to take his place. From what i heard Silva hasnt trained for 2 months properly and he looked fat on the scale. Cormier will finish this fight easily.

I also expect Mark Hunt to drop Brock Lesnar easily. Brock just came to take a payday. It is 1 fight deal with him.

Jose Aldo vs Frankie Edgar will be intresting one. Aldo has fought only one fight in two years and it lasted 13 seconds. Frankie has been looking good, i´ll go with Frankie on this one.

Diego Sanchez vs Joe Lauzon will be a crazy fight in prelims. Both are tough as nails, it will probably go to decision by Lauzon.

Travis Browne has a very good betting odds against Cain Velasquez, he has to win 28% of the time to make it a profitable bet, so definitely bet on this one if you find a good odds.

 

[Richard Alpert]

I watched Jack Kornfield lecture and he had a pretty good joke about a CEO of fortunate 500 companies who came to one of his retreat.

They had a personal meeting in the retreat and Jack asked the guy "how are you doing?"

the guy said: "I should have dressed better"

Jack: "Why do you say that"

the guy: "you should dress well when you meet yourself for the first time"

 

[Richard Alpert]

I just watched Leo´s video 10 important things you want.

That list makes complete sense to me and i have been trying to make changes to values that are on this list for couple of years.

The only reason slowing the process down is a) fear b) glingin

My ego still kicks in because it tries to cling on things that are familiar and making radical life chances takes a lot of courage.

The meditation retreat i recently did was a good eyeopener. I think it is very important to put yourself in environments where you can be nobody and nobody is expecting you anything or telling how you should be.

I think one of the best thing people in their 20s or later can do is solo travel.

 

[Richard Alpert]

I will throw few goals here for the rest of the summer and autumn. I have been in a kind of hippie mode and unmotivated lately. Looking a way to balance being a hippie and being an animal, LOL

These goals are very sports and meditation oriented, but i want to put them here and so i can track the progress. I enrolled to few running events which are late summer/early autumn. It was 10, 14 and 20 kilometer runs.

The 10km run will be about a month from now i think, i try to go under 44 min. 14km under 1h 5min and 20km under 1h 38 min.

The other goals:

Join Buddhist meditation group, visit at least once a week

Do another meditation retreat in autumn

Do meditation minimium 1h / day

Do 28 pull-ups at the end of the year

4-5x yoga / week (preferred in the morning, 30min – 1 hour)

Go back to martial arts, thaiboxing or jiujitsu 2-3x week

Complete 2 Nlp courses

Participate in mindfulness course in the autumn

Start to wake up 6:30 and go to sleep between 21:30-23:00

Is there anyone who has done LSD? I got a tab and was planning to do it on my vacation, but started to hesitate.

 

 

[Richard Alpert]

Did 45 min meditation in the morning and visited gym today. i will test tomorrow how many pull-ups i can do, i am always in shape for 20 but i hope 25 is closer.

[Richard Alpert]

everything seems bullshit at the moment, lol

i´ll say fuck to this forum and internet for a month at least

i will also quit coffee drinking

fuck the self help bullshit. I am still going to meditate though.

Dont get youre penises and vaginas hurt guys.

I´ll udpate month from now.

[Richard Alpert]

Ask me if I do this every day, I said, "Often."
Ask how many times she rode the wave—"Not so often."
Bitches down to do it either way, often
Baby I can make that pussy rain, often
Often, often, girl I do this often
Make that pussy poppin', do it how I want it
Often, often, girl I do this often
Make that pussy poppin', do it how I want it
Often
 

Im few beers in (raaarely drink) but im gonna do my evening meditation in a minute.

I deleted the thing i was going to post, because it was shit.

I have been reading a lot of lately.

seth godin icarus deception (great), all marketers are liars, Ralston the book of not knowing, 7 habits of highly effectibe people by covey, the science of getting rich by wallace. next will be warren buffets book and 6 pillars of self esteem by branden. I sometimes read 4-5 books at once, its kind of cool, you can choose the book depending on youre mood or daytime.

My life hasnt been very intresting lately, LOL

I have running competition coming next week, preperation has been shit for last 2 weeks but i should be in a decent shape compared to my normal level. little behind, but decent. Lets see how it goes, i havent that much run on nature where there up/downs. Goal is to be in top 10% of the competitors.

working, reading a lot, working out, meditating. hasnt been much else lately.

Im gonna roll on to basic psychology studies for open university. the course base seemed intresting, otherwise i wouldnt roll on.

what else? I got tickers for louis ck show, pretty excited to see him. Might hit on (not physically) one women who seemed pretty intresting, have to talk to her more first and find out more.

 

 

 

[Richard Alpert]

 

[ttm]

On 7/12/2016 at 9:53 PM, Richard Alpert said:

Is there anyone who has done LSD? I got a tab and was planning to do it on my vacation, but started to hesitate.

Yes there is. Do you have something specific in mind?

[Richard Alpert]

23 minutes ago, ttm said:

Yes there is. Do you have something specific in mind?

Not anymore i guess,

i got 150 ug tabs. I guess it´s pretty decent dose for first time. I have always tripped solo on mushrooms, so i guess i do it with acid also.

Gonna do it after i have bought a house. Bank threw me a loan today basically.

[Richard Alpert]

Hehheh, just came from running, shit was hilarious.

The thing i didnt know on the starting line was that this is an extreme run, lol. It came clear to me in the first 2 kilometres thought.

the road was full os swamp and rocks and up and down all the time in the woods, no flat ground more than maybe 200 metres at the time.

Long story short. Im happy how it went about 9,5km, i had 2 good running partners there. then i start to get fucking cramps on my calfs and i start to slow down a lot and have to let go those two runners. last 4-4,5km i focus that i just ran, dont mind the pace, calfs are cramping in the rises and i slipped 4 times together on the run, lucky nothing bad happened. Im sure there came a lot of injuries, since it has been raining last couple of days the rocks were slippery and swamps were big. super dangerous route.

Yea, last 4-4,5km i ran by myself and was slow as fuck, but only one motherfucker passed me. My inexperience from running up/downs cost me lol. i treated this like its little over 10km on more flat ground. suprise suprise i slowed down after 10km. I havent actually even run more than 12km for a while, so maybe it woulda been wise to start little slower. but i dont know would my time have been any better, since i came pretty hard the first 10km.

I dont know what my time was, waiting for results. I could be in top 10, although i sucked ass. Top 15 definitely. There was about 35 participants in my division.

 

 

 

 

[Richard Alpert]

Im not into pickup, but i have watched tyler´s videos for about 5 years.

i think he has good combo / balance with the being / doing

Edited September 2, 2016 by Richard Alpert

[Richard Alpert]

ruw31r328år

 

 

Edited January 29, 2017 by Richard Alpert