Panic attacks and states of anxiety

[Natasha]

33 minutes ago, lostmedstudent said:

@Natasha do you mind sharing some articles or books about it? id love to read more on it. a simple google search didnt seem to bring up anything credible

There is a course in Russian that teaches how to come off of adrenaline dependency (Russian is my first language). I know it uses Neuro-Linguistic Re-programming and hypnosis to rewire brain. If you do an extensive research into this, you would be able to find all kinds of articles and vids to help you bring unconscious into conscious and start working on reprogramming your brain. I'll see if I can find something in English and will let you know 

 

[Natasha]

10 minutes ago, Aaron p said:

@lostmedstudent my recommendation? Start doing hardcore practices. Self enquiry kriya yoga, strong determination sits. For me, it had to reach a point where Id had enough. Reaching your breaking point can be a beautiful thing. Very beautiful. In my opinion, reaching a breaking point...is *always* beautiful, even if it leaves you weak. (This of course excludes experiences that leave you physically or psychologically damaged). But assuming that your not permanently damaged, even if you reaching your breaking point is a breaking point of pain...something has been going in the wrong direction to begin with. If I'm going in the wrong direction, and it's causing me to suffer...I'd much rather reach the point where I can't take any more shit, throw my hands up and admit that there must be a better way. For me this was the point where Id had enough with my own energy. I was becoming aware of parts of myself that were ugly and disgusting...causing people to be uncomfortable in my presence and I couldn't control it! After the 50th person telling me these things about myself I knew that something was wrong. Now I meditate for an hour a day because...I'll be fucked if you think I'm gonna put up with this dog shit that I've been served. Don't be afraid to do that. Get angry. All that gas building up, light a fucking match and let her go. That's what I say. If your going in the wrong direction you might as well try to approach your breaking point faster

...if that makes sense

I agree, this will put you in a withdrawal mode for a few of weeks, so deciding ahead of time to stick with it regardless of how you feel is ultimately what will help you make it.

[Nahm]

@lostmedstudent

It’s sounds like you’re trying to justify the fear & anxiety with the belief in death, via thinking... and feeling is not joining. Thinking is dualistic...”there is death, there isn’t death”. The path is not figuring out which one is right, but recognizing the ox, thinking itself, as the smokescreen of twoness that it ‘is’. It’s how one fools itself...’twoness’. 

Investigate & scrutinize direct experience.  If feeling is in accord with what I’m saying here, break “death” down, scrutinize it, see that it is a facade even in logic & reason. Take ownership of the idea of it you created. Everyone else believed it, so you went along with it, naturally. Stop and inspect it. What was it you believed? Did anyone who told you...know Truth? Did anyone really tell you...or did you assume it? Everyone experiences loss, everyone mourns. Not everyone transcends their own idea of “death”, because that would mean they’re not the identify they’re attached to. Most look everywhere and take or belief anything, instead of inspecting. 

Go a layer deeper than you have thus far in investigation. Rather than justify it by supporting the case made by thinking, look to see through it, by supporting your own case for feeling. Google / Youtube things like “does the brain produce consciousness”. Do practices. Research them. Try a few feeling / awareness in the body practices. Try some breathing exercises. All roads are for release & relief. Investigate & transcend the duality of thinking there is “death”, rather than continuing to think about it. The belief you could cease to exist is never going to resonate with the core of you, with that-there-is-feeling, because that is existence. The belief is the discord. 

This tends to stir up confusion between beliefs of identity & attachment (thinking), and meaning, passion, happiness, pleasure & purpose (feeling). The answer to questions like “would I still be able to enjoy x if I was not believing in death...if I was not ‘separate selfing’...is that there already is not a separate self. You’re already free. You’re already doing whatever the heck you want, even is that is believing you are not.  

“We” is how our own creation is experienced, and there is not-two. The path is a backwards feat as the identity, like all reality, is Being, creating by forgetting. So the “answer” is always letting go, which is the same as saying, you just being you.The “answer” is always letting go of the question. The “solution” is always letting go of the problem. These are only a happening of thinking. Just you, as you are, however that is. No baggage of the past, no facets of identity derived of duality, like guilt, shame, insecurity, unworthiness - nothing which does not ring true in feeling. The resistance is loud & clear it seems. The body is infinite intelligence. The mind thinks it’s running things. Listen to the body. Care for yourself & love yourself. Get resistance out of the way for the body to heal. If eating cleaner is a solid opportunity for example, but it’s triggering...reframe that “triggering” as the body releasing. Let go. 

What you’re thinking fear is, isn’t. It just simply, isn’t. Just because you’re thinking that way, doesn’t mean it’s true, doesn’t mean feeling will go along. What’s not in your direct experience, that which you could worry about happening, or coming across your path, is ‘uncollapsed’, ‘uncreation’. Terms like “a state of every possibility” doesn’t begin to do you justice. Pure innocent infinite love. These words though are just like saying the ocean is very wet. You gotta let go and see. Tears are not really separate from the ocean in perception...only in thought.  It’s like you put on a sensory body suit and a vr helmet, but forgot you did, and then claim it is ‘my state’. But it gets heavy after a while. We get tired of carrying it, and start let it go. Acceptance & forgiveness are for the acceptor & forgiver. Probably the most profoundly life changing thing anyone could do. Acceptance & forgiveness are understanding, which arises within us as knowing our being. Transcendence is not a climbing or achieving, it is letting all that does not serve you go, and being, the same being which all who ‘pass on’ are, and all ‘yet to come’ are. Never “gone”, the love within us what whole time. What a joke - depending on how you look at it. 

If you bring conditions on a trip to the unconditional...you either have a “bad trip”, or you met with the ineffable master. Wild, but which perspective you employ is up to you. You’re that free. I vote you cherish the realization of how much you’re carrying, and you start letting it go. The term “integrate” comes to mind. Don’t name feeling with labels like anxiety, fear, etc. It’s love misunderstood via the ignore-ance of truth, of listening to one’s own feeling, in spite of all idea’s about one’s self. Integrate your seeing of this suffering from your trips. Listen to that Truth, even, and especially, if you didn’t like what it said. Crying is good, release, and then smile and carryon. Understanding arises on it’s own accord when you empty as such. Thinking does little. 

[The observer]

i believe theres no information that you havent heard of before.. different techniques and methods different approaches and tricks.. all dont seem to work right.. we all know fear is terrible and difficult to deal with it just feels bad.. since ive been in a similar situation i know logic cant fix your problem but only love can.. dear friend whoever you are and wherever you are know that i love you and everything you do.. you are blessed and deeply loved and cared for.. know that nothing is gonna do you harm.. relax breathe take the peace in and blow the fear out.. its just air.. and i just love you.. keep this message with you.. it will protect you.. because its all about you baby.. yes.. its all about you..

Edited April 10, 2020 by The observer

[Eren Eeager]

11 hours ago, lostmedstudent said:

@Eren Eeager i am not afraid of them but its not wise to just straight up recommending antidepressants to people lol. idk where you are from, but i was not taught to prescribe SSRIs like its Tums. 

 

You decide for yourself if you need them or not. If you feel really unable to sort out these fears, SSRIs will be helpful. They don't just suppress symptoms, you can also contemplate and sort out fears more effectively on them as you will feel less anxious and more courageous to do so.  You can also trip with acid while on them,, I did it multiple times lol. Most people take take them to suppress symptoms , I am with you on this point but you are different, you are more conscious, you can use them to more effectively transcend your fears. 

[lostmedstudent]

@Natasha thank you  

 

@Aaron p

11 hours ago, Aaron p said:

For me, it had to reach a point where Id had enough. Reaching your breaking point can be a beautiful thing. Very beautiful. In my opinion, reaching a breaking point...is *always* beautiful, even if it leaves you weak.

could you give an example of what you mean here? do you mean you do SDS till the point where you are so uncomfortable and in pain?

[lostmedstudent]

@Natasha thank you  

 

@Aaron p

11 hours ago, Aaron p said:

For me, it had to reach a point where Id had enough. Reaching your breaking point can be a beautiful thing. Very beautiful. In my opinion, reaching a breaking point...is *always* beautiful, even if it leaves you weak.

could you give an example of what you mean here? do you mean you do SDS till the point where you are so uncomfortable and in pain?

[lostmedstudent]

@The observer @Nahm

i enjoyed reading both of you .

thank you so much

<3 <3 <3 <3